oo.com Received: from [66.218.66.31] by n44.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:28:20 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 96401 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:28:20 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.218) by m25.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:28:20 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta3.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:28:20 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbFW-00034W-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:28:14 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:28:08 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner 1/8 (All) [PG-13] Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark & Cana Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US da. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/5x3olB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:28:59 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 1/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org Prologue: 1/8 The large sphere drifts in space, to all appearances utterly devoid of life. Inside however, four blue beams shimmer and coalesce into distinct figures. "What a dump!" Seema says, looking around at the dusty, cavernous room. "This place looks like it hasn't been used in years." Beside her, Sara Goose sneezes and then nods in agreement. "It hasn't," Stephen says. "Remember, this is way out in the middle of the Delphic Expanse." "Nobody's even heard of the Expanse in modern times," Sara says. "Exactly," says Rocky. "This sphere is big, it's available, it's dirt cheap..." "Yeah, lots of dirt," says Seema, running her fingers along one wall. "It's perfect," Rocky continues. "And by the night of the Awards Dinner, it'll be so completely transformed you won't recognize it." "I don't know why we can't just go to Risa," Seema says with a pout. Rocky sighs. "There are some, uh, difficulties with that. You see, a number of our presenters have a 'history' with some of the larger Risian resorts." "You mean they were banned from ever setting foot on the planet again," Stephen says. "Got it." He walks around a bit, pokes into corners, peers into the lids of some old cargo bins marked 'Property of the Xindi-Arboreals: Keep Your Paws to Yourselves!' "This place does have potential, not to mention lots of parking. Who've you got in mind for the food? Celestial Caterers again?" Rocky nods. "They'll handle the bar commissions as well." "I thought the Ferengi were doing that," Seema says. "Are you kidding?" Rocky says. "Don't you remember how badly we got ripped off at Deep Space Nine? We've got a budget, you know." "I know," says Stephen with a grimace. "We never did get our security deposit back last year." "That wasn't my fault," Seema says immediately. Sara looks defensive. "Hey, I did my best, but you have to admit, there wasn't much I could do. The list of damages was pretty extensive--" "That's another advantage to using a Sphere for the dinner and post-awards party," Rocky points out. "No security deposit!" Stephen claps his hands together. "Sold!" He turns to Seema and Sara. "I guess you can go ahead and have the invitations printed. And Rocky, you'd better make sure this place is ready on time." "Just leave everything to me," Rocky says. *** The big night has finally arrived. A large stage has been erected on the floor; tiered seats rise up on three sides. The dust and dirt are gone; every surface gleams as brightly as if dipped in Argelian pixie dust. Backstage, chaos reigns, but it's controlled chaos. A troop of scantily-clad dancers, clad primarily in sequins and feathers, scurry by. The musicians in the orchestra pit are warming up. Strains of "Beyond Antares" compete with the sound of hurrying footsteps, babbling voices, and sharply barked commands. "The opening number starts in five minutes," Rocky says, consulting her data PADD. "Where's our Master of Ceremonies?" She nods as a tuxedo-clad man waves from the corner. "I thought we were getting Billy Crystal," Seema says, tugging on her tight satin gown. "Billy begged off, says he's still recovering from the Oscars," Rocky says briefly. "But I think it's really because he didn't want to do another medley. OK, first presenters? Raise your hands so I can see you." She checks them off, then turns to a gofer. "Where's Scotty, by the way? Don't tell me he's still in the Hospitality Holosuite!" "No, I rousted him out of there a good twenty minutes ago," Sara puts in, giving her hair one final pat. "Then where is he?" "I saw him off with Geordi La Forge and Trip Tucker, inspecting the antigrav installations," Stephen says as he approaches. "He was mumbling something about, 'All these years, I've been saying I cannae change the laws of physics!' I think he's very impressed with this place. Maybe a little *too* impressed." Rocky groans. "The last thing we need is for him to start fooling around with the controls. Somebody get him out of there, fast!" She bends over her PADD again, mumbling to herself. "Security, check. Medical staff...everything's under control." "Uh, Rocky," says Seema hesitantly. "Where did you get that phaser rifle?" Rocky pats Big Betsey, which is slung on her back. "Oh, this thing? Captain Janeway lent it to me." "Why?" "To ensure there are no problems." "Okaaay. Just asking." "Right." Rocky glances at the large overhead chronometer and yells, "Places, everybody! It's show time!" *** -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 00:37:00 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n16.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.71]) by bunting (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhBjw42s3NZFmR0 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:21 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13490-1082867541-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah oo.com Received: from [66.218.66.29] by n16.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:21 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 91833 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:32:21 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.216) by m23.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:21 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta1.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:21 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbJP-0003gd-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:15 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:32:09 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner 2/8 Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark & Cana Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US da. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/5x3olB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:38:13 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 1/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** Vic Fontaine strolls on to the stage. "Welcome to the Annual ASC Awards, folks. Glad to see we've got a nice crowd here this evening. In addition to our live audience, it may interest you to know that this event is being beamed by subspace to over 1 billion viewers across all four quadrants. We've got a great show planned, so with no further ado, let me introduce our first presenters. "For the category of Featuring Archer, the captain of the NX-01 Enterprise, himself, along with his faithful, and dare we say, most trusted companion!" Archer and Porthos come on stage to a smattering of applause. Porthos immediately turns soulful eyes on his master. "Already, Porthos?" says Archer, his tone scolding. "Didn't you go before we left the ship?" Porthos gives a short bark. "Just a little humor there, folks," Archer says, with an 'aw shucks' smile. He slips the dog a cube of cheese. "That's what you wanted, isn't it?" Porthos thumps his tail on the stage, then gets up on his hind legs and begins nosing Archer's pocket. "No, I'm not going to give you any more," Archer says, patting the dog down. "You know the Doctor says it's not good for you." Porthos gazes at Archer and thumps his tail again. "All right, boy, just don't tell anyone." Archer pulls out another piece of cheese, along with an envelope. As he opens up the paper, he asks, "Would you like to do the honors?" Porthos, having finished his snack, lies down and closes his eyes. "I'll take that as a no," Archer says. "Well, one of the things about being captain is that sometimes you've got to take the tough jobs on yourself. So, here goes. First place for Featuring Archer goes to 'Hard' by KayJay." "Second place for Featuring Archer goes to 'Friend in Need' by Mareel." "Third place for Featuring Archer goes to 'Porthos' Plea' by Meghan Elizabeth." The band begins playing, indicating it's time to clear the stage. Archer bends down and speaks to Porthos. "Come on, boy, time to get up." The dog doesn't move. Archer smiles apologetically. "He's really good at playing dead, isn't he? Seriously, we're both a bit warp-lagged, you know, doing so much traveling back and forth between Earth and the Expanse lately..." Archer raises his voice a little. "Come on, Porthos, we're finished giving out awards, time to go off the stage." The dog yawns, lifts his head to regard his master, and then lies back down. "Oh for crying out loud!" Archer hoists Porthos by the scruff of his neck and proceeds to carry him off, almost staggering under the weight. "Whew, no more treats for you, boy!" Backstage, on his way to be a presenter, Mayweather brushes by some Xindi Reptilians who stare at him, but don't say or do anything overtly threatening. Mayweather shudders. "What are *they* doing here?" he asks. "It seems that this sphere wasn't abandoned after all," Seema says placatingly, while simultaneously giving Rocky a dirty look. "Fortunately, they don't have any objections to our being here, provided they can keep an eye on the proceedings." "And have complimentary use of the hololounges," Stephen adds. Mayweather nods dubiously. "OK." "You'd better get out there," Seema adds. "You wouldn't want to miss your chance for a major speaking role!" Mayweather winces. "I wish you wouldn't put it that way." Onstage, Mayweather says, "I'm here to present the ENT Drabble awards. As you know, a drabble is a short story which consists of exactly 100 words. Since there were so many entries this year, they were split into two separate categories, General Drabbles and Episode Drabbles." "Don't forget Drabbles Featuring Reed," adds the Armory Officer as he strolls onstage. In the front row, Mareel jumps to her feet and tries to get Reed's attention. The British-born officer pauses and quickly signs Mareel's notepad before continuing towards Mayweather. "Of course not," Mayweather says, muttering something unintelligible under his breath. The closed captioning Universal Translator promptly translates it as 'you have the breath of a Rigellian yak.' "Don't let me stop you, go ahead with what you were doing," Reed says with an airy wave of his hand. Mayweather, doing his best to ignore Reed, pulls out an envelope. "First place for General Drabbles goes to 'Prototype' by Alex Voy ." "Second place for General Drabbles goes to 'The Full Shell' by Jemima." "Third place for General Drabbles goes to 'The Frustration of the Expanse' by T'Lin." "And now for Episodic Drabbles." Mayweather searches his pockets, but there is nothing else there. "Oh, no," he says. "What's the matter?" Reed asks. "I can't find the second envelope." "Are you sure they gave it to you?" Reed asks, a superior look on his face. "Oh, sure, blame the organizers," mutters Rocky, standing in the wings. One of the Xindi Reptilians comes up to her. "Looking for this, Human?" he asks, holding up an envelope. Rocky lets go of Big Betsey with one hand, and snatches the envelope with the other. "Where did you get this?" "Took it off the Enterprise helmsman when we bumped into him," the Xindi says, with an ugly laugh. "Hey, there are still hostilities open; we've got a reputation to maintain!" Rocky shakes her head and sends a flunky out to hand the envelope to Mayweather, who accepts it gratefully. "First place for Episode Drabbles goes to 'Shadow' by KayJay." "Second place for Episode Drabbles goes to 'That Dare Not Speak Its Name' by Rocky." "Third place for Episode Drabbles goes to 'Twilight Remembered' by T'Lin." Reed smiles patronizingly at Mayweather and steps up to the microphone. "First off, let me say how flattered I am to be the subject of so many fine--" At Mayweather's throat clearing, he breaks off and says, "Right. First place for Drabbles Featuring Reed--" He stops again when he sees Hayes and another MACO approach. "What are you doing here?" Reed asks. "Sorry, Malcom," Hayes says, plucking the envelope out of Reed's hands. "But I've been assigned this duty." "What do you mean, you've been assigned to do this?" Reed exclaims indignantly. "These are drabbles about *me*! Do you have to horn in on every single one of my duties?" "Sorry," Hayes says again. "But orders are orders." "We'll see about this!" Reed goes storming off stage. Hayes exchanges glances with his fellow marine and then says, "First place for Drabbles Featuring Reed goes to 'Is That a Phase Pistol in Your Pocket Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?' by Taryn Eve." "Second place for Drabbles Featuring Reed goes to 'Just Before Morning' by Mareel." "Third place for Drabbles Featuring Reed goes to 'Rhapsody in Blue' by Mareel." Mayweather and the MACOS exit the stage. Vic Fontaine says, "Wow, now that's dedication. Great to see how much those guys love their work. Up next we have the category of ENT Filk or Poem, and to announce those winners we have our very own and much loved Denobulan--" Vic breaks off as his communicator chirps. "Yo, whaddya want?" ::Got a slight problem with one of the members of Phlox's Menagerie,:: crackles a voice. "Is that the singing group you cats insisted on hiring for the Intermission?" ::No, we mean one of Doctor Phlox's creatures. One of the animal wranglers just did a headcount and realized one of the sloths is missing.:: "This is turning into a real three ring circus," Vic says. "What do you want me to do?" ::Stall a little bit. Phlox says he's not coming out till he knows all of his 'friends' are accounted for.:: Always a trouper, Vic launches into a song. ("All of me, why not take all of me...") He has just reached the chorus when Phlox comes out on stage, accompanied by his pet bat. Vic breaks off in mid-note. "Everything OK now, Doc?" "Yes, yes," Phlox says with a smile. "Those foolish trainers didn't realize that these are Ankarean two-headed sloths and therefore thought we had twice as many creatures as we actually did." "That's a relief," Vic says. "Say, Doc, why do you have all these animals with you, anyway?" "They're part of my medical response kit, of course," Phlox answers in surprise. "Along with the other physicians, I have agreed to give some of my time to manning the first aid station, just in case there are any mishaps among the members of the audience or the presenters this evening." "OK." Vic starts edging away. "Actually," continues Phlox, "I'm surprised there haven't been any real escapees. This little rascal here," he indicates his bat, "somehow always manages to find a way out no matter how often or how well I secure her cage." The bat lets off a high-pitched scree. Several members of the audience cover their ears, wincing. Others look puzzled; apparently they haven't heard anything. Backstage, the Xindi-Reptilians break for the exits, howling in pain and fear. "To business, yes, my precious," Phlox tells his creature. He whips out an envelope. "First place for Filk/Poem goes to 'Impulse' by Dwacon." "Second place for Filk/Poem goes to 'Archer, Archer' by Kapitan Quirk." "And finally, third place for Filk/Poem goes to 'Cowboys and Xindians' by Dwacon." During a commercial break, Vic entertains the crowd with another number, this time backed up by some befeathered (not referring to their costumes, but to their natural epidermis) flamenco dancers. Admiral Forrest, in full dress uniform, enters the stage with Ambassador Soval, who is in his ceremonial robes. "I fail to comprehend the purpose of this activity," Soval says. "It is entirely illogical." "We are here to present awards to outstanding stories," Forrest explains. "For example, you and I are going to handle the category of ENT General Story." "I should have realized this is one of your ridiculous Human rituals," says Soval with an expression that is almost a sneer. "If your people spent more time on important pursuits, perhaps you would not be as backward as you are compared to other races of the Galaxy." "Oh, like the Vulcans?" says Forrest evenly enough. "That is definitely a worthy goal to aspire to," says Soval. "Although it is not as easy as you may have been led to believe." "I'll keep that in mind," Forrest says, then hands the envelope to Soval. "Ambassador, would you do the honors?" Soval takes the envelope with a look of distaste, then opens it and reads. "First place for General Story goes to 'Back Home' by KayJay." "Second place for General Story goes to 'Enemy Within' by Snowballjane," says Forrest. "Third place for General Story goes to 'Intermediates' by nostalgia," says the Ambassador, finishing up. Vic watches them go. "Talk about your odd couple," he says. "I've known some Vulcans in my time, but I've got to say I don't think they make 'em any more like the Ambassador. "Our next award is for ENT General Pairing. Here to present, Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III!" Trip comes out, looking very handsome in a formal jacket and bolero tie. "Evenin' folks. It's an honor and a pleasure to be here with y'all. I've had my share of romantic adventures over the years, even had the distinction of bein' the first man to get pregnant. So I guess it's appropriate that they asked me to present this award." Trip beckons off to the side. "I hope nobody minds, but I brought along a friend to help. Amanda Cole, one of the MACO's from the ship." Amanda comes out, dressed in an ivory lace gown that clings in all the right places. "Thank you, Trip," she says sweetly. "Would you like to get started?" Trip asks. Amanda gives him a smoldering look that seems to imply she's ready for just about anything he's got in mind. "One moment." Trip and Amanda look up in surprise as T'Pol strides on stage. She is wearing her silver catsuit and the expression on her face is anything but happy. "T'Pol!" says Trip weakly. "Fancy meetin' you here." "Sub-commander," Amanda says steadily. T'Pol addresses her remarks to Trip. "What is *she* doing here?" "Amanda is helpin' me--" "Oh, I'm sure she is helping you a great deal," T'Pol says coldly. "Did I not make clear to you that you were to have nothing further to do with this woman?" "Well--" "Good," says T'Pol. "You may proceed." She unceremoniously pushes the female MACO offstage. "Beggin' your pardon, T'Pol, but have you been dippin' into the Trellium-D again?" Trip says in a stage-whisper. T'Pol gets him in the instep with the heel of her boot. "I said, you may proceed." Trip doubles over in pain, but manages to right himself after a few seconds. In a hoarse whisper, he gets out, "First place for General Pairing goes to 'Thirty-Seven Degrees And Falling' by nostalgia." T'Pol takes the envelope. "Second place for General Pairing goes to 'Darkness, To Emptiness' by Ananke." Trip, back to his normal speaking voice says, "Third place for General Pairing goes to 'Bittersweet Reunion' by T'Lin." Vic shakes his head. "Some guys just have no idea what they're getting into." Looking as though he hadn't meant to say that out loud, he quickly goes on to say, "Our next award is for Featuring Reed. Please welcome a very special young lady, who probably has a greater knowledge of the real inside story of the development of the Warp 5 engine than many officials, Ms. Ruby Kawalski!" Ruby comes out on stage, clad in an elegant green gown. "I know what you're probably all thinking--just who is this woman and what is she doing here. I'm Ruby, the barmaid at the '602'--popular hangout for all the Starfleet types. Does that ring any bells?" A loud 'Ah!' ripples through the audience. "Yeah, I thought so," Ruby says. "I could tell you a thing or two about any one of the men of Enterprise. Especially Malcolm Reed." She pauses tantalizingly for a moment. "But this is a family-oriented show after all." She pulls out an envelope. "First place for Featuring Reed goes to 'Hurricane Feezal' by PJ in NH." "Second place for Featuring Reed goes to 'Indiscretion' by Mareel." "Third place for Featuring Reed goes to 'Without Change' by Mareel." As Ruby exists the stage, she passes by Reed himself and plants one on him. "See you around, Malcolm," she says sweetly as she sashays away. Reed stares dazedly after her for a long moment, then comes to himself when Sato snaps at him. "Are you coming or not, Malcolm?" He follows Hoshi out on to the stage, just as the overhead loudspeaker announces, "To present the awards for the category of Featuring Sato, Lieutenant Malcolm Reed and Ensign Hoshi Sato!" "Thank you," Hoshi says, beaming brightly. She is wearing a bright red sequined gown. "And for those of you in the audience from the Asmonean sector, let me say 're'ack ha lach'manya!'" There is some scattered applause until the closed captioning Universal Translator renders the message as, 'there is a large mouse regurgitating on your pumpkin.' Reed hastily says, "Hoshi, hadn't we better get on with it?" "Look, bucko," she says tartly. "This is the award for stories dealing with *me*. I'm the presenter. I only asked you to join me because you wouldn't stop sulking after Hayes did the Reed Drabbles!" Reed quickly says, "Fine, fine, have it your way." "I intend to," Hoshi says. She smiles again at the crowd. "Time is short, so I'm afraid I can't greet all of you in your native tongue." A sigh of relief is heard--from backstage. Hoshi pulls the envelope out of her matching evening bag and clears her throat. As she prepares to read off the names, the camera pans the crowd, settling first on Snowballjane, then moving over to nostalgia, and finally Mara Greengrass. "First place for Featuring Sato goes to 'Wheel of Dreams' by Ananke." "Second place for Featuring Sato goes to 'Herculean Labors' by Mara Greengrass." Taking pity on Reed (or perhaps remembering the existence of the R/S category in other years), she hands him the envelope. "Third place for Featuring Sato," Reed intones, "goes to 'Vergessen' by nostalgia." Vic casts an appreciative eye as Hoshi exists the stage on Malcolm's arm, then turns his attention to the threesome waiting in the wings. "Pulling double duty tonight, eh?" he says. "Yes," T'Pol says, as she links arms with Tucker and Archer and proceeds to go onstage. She has changed out of her catsuit and is now wearing a white sheath so tight it literally leaves nothing to the imagination. "Are you going to announce us?" "Oh, yes," Vic says. "Presenting the awards for T'Pol Pairing, Captain Archer, Commander Tucker, and last but not least, Sub-commander T'Pol." Trip smiles at T'Pol. "I don't think I told you before, how great you look tonight," he says, putting his arm around her waist. "Yes, you look beautiful, T'Pol," Archer says, glaring at Trip and putting his own arm around T'Pol. "This is the breast--er, best I've seen you for a while." T'Pol is clearly flattered by the attention, but logically concludes that the situation with the two men is about to get out of hand. "Trip, Jon, have you forgotten why we're here?" Trip looks somewhat abashed. "Right, the awards." Archer pulls the envelope out of his pocket. "Yeah, I've got the lips, er list of winners right here." "Thank you," T'Pol says. She takes the envelope from him, her fingers lingering in his a bit longer than necessary, then leans back into Trip's embrace to read. "First place for T'Pol Pairing goes to 'A Man's Best Friend' by monkee." Trip looks over T'Pol shoulder, his mouth just brushing her hair. "Second place for T'Pol Pairing goes to 'A Logical Proposal' by Shouldknowbetter." "My turn," says Archer. "Third place for T'Pol Pairing goes to 'It's Not Easy Being Green' by Rocky." The threesome heads off-stage, arm in arm in arm. "Jeez, just get a room already," Vic says, watching them go. He straightens up and says into the microphone, "Please welcome Zephram Chochrane, the inventor of the warp drive and intrepid pilot of the Phoenix." Cochrane, white-haired and getting on in years, is stooped slightly now, no longer the same fit specimen he was when he made first contact with the Vulcans. "I know all about creative writing--I never said half the things the historians claim I said," Cochrane says gruffly. "And the other half, I was either drunk when I said 'em, or I was just kidding. Just wanted you folks to remember that." The audience sits in stunned silence. "Anyway, I'm here to present the awards for ENT Author." Cochrane fishes in his pocket and pulls out a silver flask, along with a pair of reading glasses. "Here we go. First place goes to KayJay." Cochrane takes a swig from his flask. "Second place for ENT Author goes to nostalgia." "Third place for ENT Author goes to Daria." A young woman is sent to escort the Father of the Warp Drive offstage. Cochrane doesn't look as crotchety as he did a few moments ago. He pats the woman's arm as they exit. "You know, you remind me of someone I once knew. Diana, I think her name was. Or maybe Deena? Something with a 'D'. Fine woman, but couldn't hold her liquor worth a darn..." *** -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 00:37:00 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n29.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.85]) by tanager (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhBjB3Oa3NZFmQ0 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:27 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13491-1082867544-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah o.com Received: from [66.218.67.201] by n29.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:27 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 62813 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:32:23 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.216) by m9.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:23 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta1.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:26 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbJV-0003gd-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:21 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:32:15 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner 3/8 Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:39:35 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 3/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** Rocky approaches Stephen, who is trading vacation ideas with Seema. "We've got a problem," she says abruptly. "I can't find Captain Kirk anywhere." "Did you look in the bar?" Seema says. "Did you check the hololounges?" Stephen asks. "Yes. And the storage closets, hallways, alcoves, shuttle bays and kitchen pantries." "Find anything?" "Yes, I did, as a matter of fact. Two cases of contraband Romulan ale--I appropriated a few bottles for 'study' to ensure they're the real thing--a troop of lost Kavarian tiger-bats, some suspicious Federation health inspectors, an irate chef who ordered us out of the kitchen immediately, one rather embarrassed Ambassador from the Thalonian Empire in an empty shuttle with an underage intern, and several misplaced communicators." "But no Kirk?" asks Seema. At the same time, Stephen asks, "Is the Ambassador gonna sue?" "No, the Ambassador is only too grateful to keep the whole matter hushed up," Rocky says, addressing Stephen first. "And no, no Kirk. I can't imagine where he could be!" "You'd better find him, fast," Seema says. "He's supposed to be presenting the first award!" "I know, I know..." Suddenly, Rocky straightens up. "*There* he is!" Kirk--dressed in his maroon movie-era uniform--is standing near the curtain, waiting politely for his name to be called. Beside him, a young woman--head bent, concealing her face--is straightening the waistband of her dress. "Captain!" Rocky exclaims. "Uh, Admiral? Where have you been?" "A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," Kirk says with a smile. Before Rocky can say anything else, the band launches into an intro and overhead, a voice proclaims, "Space, the final frontier. These are the continuing adventures of James T. Kirk, his mission to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and civilizations--" "He's definitely got the 'boldly going' part down pat," Rocky mutters. Kirk steps out on stage to thunderous applause. "Thank you, thank you. It's my pleasure to be here this evening to present the awards for the category Featuring Kirk." Kirk pulls out an envelope, but just as he's about to read the first item, his communicator beeps. Flashing an apologetic smile, Kirk turns slightly away, flips it open and says, sotto voce, "I thought I told you never to call me!" Kirk listens for a moment, then interrupts. "Not now, I'm working. I'll call you later, all right?" He closes the communicator with a frown. Almost to himself, he mutters, "I...have... had...enough...of you!" He turns back to the audience. "Sorry about that. Duty calls... Ahem. "First place for Featuring Kirk goes to 'Kissing Captain Kirk Drabble Series by Lyrastar." "Second place for Featuring Kirk goes to 'A Ship's Captain' by Rocky." "Third place for Featuring Kirk goes to 'Blondie' by Acidqueen." Kirk strides offstage, his communicator in hand once more. Vic watches him go. "Busy guy, that Kirk. I wouldn't want to have *his* responsibilities! "Next up, we have the category of Featuring Spock. Please welcome these two lovely ladies, T'Pring and, uh, the Romulan Commander!" The two women come out, each eyeing the other with barely concealed distaste. "So," the Romulan Commander drawls, "you actually chose a non-entity as consort in place of *Spock*? And I suppose you think that was a logical act?" "As a matter of fact," T'Pring says coolly, "it was." She pauses for a moment. "Certainly more logical than allowing a pair of spies to steal a prototype cloaking device from my ship *and* get myself captured at the same time, all because I could not control my emotions." "I've seen pictures of your Stonn," RC says nastily, "His ears are large enough for a Ferengi." T'Pring flushes pale green. "I do not know how it is among Romulans, but among Vulcans ear size is roughly analogous to other anatomic parameters, similar to shoe size among Humans." "Of course you would hardly know from personal experience, considering how you threw him over, but I can assure you that Spock is hardly deficient in that area--" Vic steps in hastily. "Ladies, please? You do have a job to do." "Yes," says RC. "Of course. *Some* of us know all about doing our duty and not allowing our personal desires to get in the way." T'Pring gives her a look that could freeze a warp core, but opens the envelope. "First place for Featuring Spock goes to 'Changing the Rules' by Acidqueen." RC steps up. "Second place for Featuring Spock goes to 'Gillian Weep Not' by Linda McInnis." Without giving her rival a chance, RC concludes, "Third place for Featuring Spock goes to 'Sarpeidon Chronicles' by Nocturnis1." Christine Chapel makes her entrance on stage. Her hair is streaky ash blond, her eyes pale blue and her dress a vivid peach. And if you're not seeing these colors exactly, then you're obviously not watching this broadcast on a Tri-Zenith monitor... Back from commercial, Vic announces, "Here to present the awards for TOS General Pairing, Nurse Chapel!" "Thank you, but it's Doctor," Chapel says. "Really?" Vic says. "I never knew that." "You didn't know I gave up a promising career in research to go into space to search for my long-lost fiancé, the brilliant if ultimately unstable Roger Korby?" "No, I--" "Or after the original five year mission I went to medical school and eventually ended up in charge of Starfleet Medical?" "Uh--" "Or that during my time on the Enterprise I practically ran Sickbay, making sure everything went smoothly?" Chapel yells. "That Doctor McCoy couldn't have functioned a single day without me? And that I was supposed to be CMO on the refitted ship before V'ger showed up?" "That's all very--" Her voice rising ever higher and more shrill, Chapel says, "You thought I was just some stupid bimbo, didn't you?!" "No, no, I would never--" "Fine," Chapel says, "I'm glad we got that straightened out." Vic carefully eases away, muttering, "Where did they find these dames?" All business now, Chapel takes out the envelope. "First place for TOS General Pairing goes to 'Reunification' by Lyrastar." "Second place for TOS General Pairing goes to 'A Tail of Wayward Love' by Lyrastar." "Third place for TOS General Pairing goes to 'Posing With Baked Goods' by Jungle Kitty." "And now," says Vic, "a man who needs no introduction--" he breaks off as Dr. M'Benga approaches. "Actually, pally, I think you do, if you're here to present the awards for the category of Featuring McCoy." M'Benga smiles; he's heard it all before. "I'm one of the other doctors assigned to the Enterprise. You didn't think he was the only physician on board, did you? When Dr. McCoy isn't available, I'm in charge of Sickbay--along with Christine, of course." "Right," Vic snaps his fingers. "You're the guy who was in charge of Spock's care when he was wounded on Tyree's planet! You slugged him, as I recall." "I helped him come out of the Vulcan healing trance," M'Benga corrects. "Like Vic said, you slugged him," McCoy says, hurrying onstage, his bow tie still somewhat askew. "One of the few things you could envy me for, eh, Leonard?" asks M'Benga with a wink. "Definitely. It's one of my few regrets--right up there with reconnecting Spock's vocal cords the time those Eymorg women stole his brain." "Well," says M'Benga, "All kidding aside, I've certainly envied you--Chief Medical Officer on the best ship in the 'Fleet, innovator and developer of countless treatments and surgical procedures, a man who could practically 'cure a rainy day'..." All of the praise is clearly making McCoy uncomfortable. "Yes. Well, we haven't got all day here, M'Benga. Don't we have some awards to present?" "Yes, we do." M'Benga hands him the envelope. "I'm a doctor, not an orator, but I just want to say I'm touched at being the subject of so many fine stories. It's always nice to be appreciated." McCoy opens the envelope and reads. "First place for Featuring McCoy goes to 'Classic Education' by Acidqueen." "Second place for Featuring McCoy goes to 'Under These Circumstances' by Hypatia Kosh." "Third place for Featuring McCoy goes to 'Mirror Cracked' by T'Lin." McCoy and M'Benga exit, along with the winners, and the band launches into another brief musical interlude. Once again, the camera takes the opportunity to pan over the audience, settling on Lyrastar who is engaged in conversation with Jungle Kitty and Pinetrees. Meanwhile, a waiter serves drinks to T'Lin and Acidqueen. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Captain James T. Kirk and Commander Spock, to present the awards for Kirk/Spock Pairing." The two men come out, wearing their familiar uniforms from the original five year mission. Kirk's hair is boyishly tousled and Spock is regarding him fondly. "When two people have served together as long as we have, you get to know each other very well," Kirk says to his 'number one.' "Inside and out," Spock agrees. Kirk smiles. "I know I can always trust you to watch my back." "It seems to me other parts of the anatomy would be a more appropriate--" Spock begins. "Spock, it's a figure of speech." "Ah, then you did not mean for me to take it literally," Spock says with a nod. "In the same vein, Captain, may I assume that when you spoke of singing this evening you did not mean it literally either?" "Why, what's wrong with my singing?" Kirk says. "Have you even heard me?" "Yes. In the shower. Many times. And I must say that you are an excellent starship commander, but as a singer you leave much to be desired." Kirk looks momentarily hurt, but then his mouth sets in typical Kirkian bravado and determination. He gives a signal to the band, who immediately launch into the opening chords of a certain 20th century song. "I'm too sexy for my hat, what do you think of that--" "You are not wearing a hat, Captain." "I'm too sexy for my shirt--" "Really, Captain, this action must cease at once--" Spock seizes hold of Kirk's shoulder, perhaps in an effort to apply the famous Vulcan nerve pinch. Instead, the fabric tears away in his hand, exposing the right side of Kirk's chest. A loud gasp goes up from the audience as Kirk's nipple is revealed--only partially obscured by a silver ring in the shape of a Starfleet Delta symbol. Klaxons begin sounding and red lights flashing. Backstage, Seema covers her eyes and moans. "I swear, I didn't know this was going to happen!" Rocky protests. "There was no hint of this in the rehearsals!" Several MACOS, phase pistols at the ready, rush up. "Ready for action, ma'am!" their leader says with a crisp salute. Close on their heels are a contingent of Starfleet security led by Worf, and a team of Bajorans led by Odo. "Stand down," Rocky says, recovering. "All of you. This isn't--shut those alarms off!" She is about to order the deactivation of the force field covering the stage when she sees that although several female members of the audience have fainted dead away at the sight of Kirk's bare chest, others are attempting to storm the platform. Unsurprisingly, Jungle Kitty is leading the charge. "Will someone please toss the Captain another shirt?" There follows a few seconds of footage of chaotic scuffles, then cut to a screen bearing the United Federation of Planets Logo. A voice over says, "Please stand by. We are experiencing technical difficulties, but hope to have the matter resolved soon. Please stand by--" The scene changes to the stage at the awards dinner. Kirk is wearing an oddly colored sweater which is a little large on him, and there are some empty seats in the audience. Peace and quiet restored once more, Kirk says, "I guess we'd better get right to the awards." "A most wise suggestion," Spock says in agreement. "First place for Kirk/Spock Pairing goes to 'Sour News' by Hypatia Kosh." Kirk takes up the envelope. "Second place goes to 'Gemini Setting' by Lyrastar." Spock looks at Kirk. "Shall we present the last one together?" Kirk smiles. "An excellent idea." In unison they say, "And finally, third place for Kirk/Spock Pairing goes to 'From the Depths' by Lyrastar." Vic Fontaine waits till the applause dies down. "And now it's time to introduce the *other* great buddy duo from TOS--Captain Hikaru Sulu and Commander Pavel Chekov!" "I always like coming back to present at the awards dinner," Sulu says, stepping up to the mike. He is wearing his uniform from the sixth movie. Chekov, in contrast, is wearing his black leather jacket and pants from the fourth movie. "You mean you like coming back, period," Chekov says slyly. "What do you mean by that?" Sulu asks. "Nothing." "I'll have you know that my proposal for a canon Captain Sulu series--" "Oh please," Chekov says, rolling his eyes. "I know this is the humor section, but if you think that anyone takes that seriously--other than fanfic--Sulu, it's become a running joke." "Well, if it is it's a much better one than your constant, 'this was invented by Russians' line," Sulu snaps back. "It doesn't matter what we're talking about, you always say the same thing. Jeez, it's as bad as the Klingons claiming they wrote Shakespeare." "Now that *is* ridiculous," Chekov agrees. "Because everyone knows that William Shakespeare was Russian." The drummer gives him a rim shot. Sulu has the grace to smile. "OK, Pavel, that was actually pretty funny." Chekov takes out the envelope. "Then on with the show, eh? First place for Humor goes to 'Queer Eye For The Straight Captain' by PineTrees." Sulu says, "Second place for Humor goes to 'Sibs' by Trekkigrrl." Perhaps as an apology (or thinking of Sulu's propensity to act out samurai fantasies), Chekov allows his former shipmate to present the last award as well. "Third place goes to 'The Job Interview' by PineTrees." A phalanx of Klingon soldiers elbow their way on to the stage. Vic opens his mouth, then wisely steps aside. Even holograms aren't immortal, after all. The Klingons are dressed in typical fashion--lots of leather and pieces of metal. Their hair is shaggy, their teeth jaggedly uneven--and their brows are ridged. Backstage, Seema looks puzzled. "Are you sure these are the right guys?" "What do you mean?" Rocky asks. "I thought TOS Klingons had smooth foreheads." "They did," Rocky says. "These guys don't. Do you want to explain?" "I can't," Rocky says. "Sure you can." "No, I really can't. I have no idea what happened," Rocky says. "Say, you're friendly with Worf--haven't you ever asked him?" Seema sighs. "Apparently, they don't discuss it with outsiders." "I bet he doesn't know either," Rocky says in a sudden flash of inspiration. "After all, he was raised among Humans--" "But that still doesn't explain how the *same guys* with smooth foreheads in TOS suddenly show up with ridges a few years later," Seema interrupts. "It says here that the main presenter is Koloth, an old adversary of Kirk's. Which means we've got pictures of him on file looking entirely different than he does now." "I know that," Rocky says. "But do *you* want to be the one to ask him that?" Seema thinks it over for a few seconds. "I'll take that as a no," Rocky says. Onstage now, the Klingon honor guard parts, allowing their commander, a venerable hale and hearty warrior to step forward. "I am Koloth," he thunders. The Klingons bang their ba'atleths on the floor in approval. Backstage, Rocky calls for security--just as a precaution, of course. "I am Koloth! I am here tonight to partake of the honor of your awards. It is a noble venture, to continue the bold adventures of the glorious Klingon Empire! And of its one-time foe but now ally, United Federation of Planets, of course." Koloth pauses, as if waiting for something. An alert technician flashes the "Applause" sign; the audience responds accordingly. Koloth smiles, pleased. Rocky holds up a hand, keeping the security squad in check. With a little luck, their services may not be needed tonight after all. Koloth holds out his hand, and one of his soldiers hands him an envelope. Koloth rips it open with his teeth, and spits the shredded paper out on the floor. He then declares, "First place for TOS General Story goes to 'Eugenics War: Opening Gambit' by Sisko2374." Koloth continues, "Second place for TOS General Story goes to 'First Victory' by Sisko2374." "Finally," Koloth says, "Third place for TOS General Story goes to 'Honesty' by Randy Landers." Koloth thumps the winners on the back in token of congratulations and then leads his troops offstage where an alert flunky is waiting to direct them to a hololounge where several complimentary kegs of bloodwine await them. "Our next presenter," Vic says, "is the lovely and talented Commander Nyota Uhura!" Uhura comes out in a stunning evening gown, carrying Spock's Vulcan lyre. "Hello, everyone," she says. "I'm here to present the awards for TOS Filk/Poem. And speaking of music..." She tunes the lyre and then stops. "But I understand the organizers are concerned about running too late and since I've already had the opportunity to play to a captive audience once--" "Do the fan dance!" yells a member of the audience. "Just like you did in the fifth movie!" Backstage, Rocky hastily disconnects the red alert klaxons, fearing a repeat of what happened when Kirk and Spock were onstage earlier. Sara pokes her head in. "Have you seen Seema or Stephen? There's a group of Bajoran Vedeks outside who want to register a protest at the improper content of our broadcast." Fortunately, Uhura shakes her head and declines to repeat her famous performance. "Boy, have you got a wrong number!" "No 'letting it all hang out'?" another person calls out. "Sorry, not tonight," Uhura says with a smile. There are huge signs of relief backstage. The Bajoran Vedeks, however, look rather disappointed. In her business-like, 'hailing frequencies are open' voice, Uhura goes on to say, "First place for TOS Filk/Poem goes to 'I Will Revive' by Jemima." "Second place for TOS Filk/Poem goes to 'You Cause Pain' by Rob Morris." "Third place for TOS Filk/Poem goes to 'TOS Fanfic' by Rob Morris." Vic offers Uhura his arm and escorts her offstage himself. The overhead loudspeaker announces, "Please welcome Commodore Matt Decker and Captain Will Decker to present the awards for Empty Shell Challenge." Matt Decker stalks on to the stage, scowling. "Is this someone's twisted idea of a joke?" Will tries to placate him. "Calm down, Dad." "Calm down. Right." The senior Decker is livid. "Empty Shell, my ass-- they want me to present an award glorifying the thing which killed my crew!" "But you won in the end, Dad," Will reminds him. "By ramming a shuttlecraft down its maw, you showed Kirk how to destroy the planet killer." "Yeah, Kirk always did get the credit," Matt grumbles, still not happy. "And it was *my* ship he took--" "Tell me about it," Will says, rolling his eyes. "The point is, Dad, this challenge represents a triumph over the 'Doomsday Machine.' Look at some of the more 'creative' uses these talented writers put it to." "You've got a point there, son." Matt takes the envelope abruptly from Will, who is left standing with his mouth open. "All right then, first place for the Empty Shell Challenge goes to 'Poppies' by Jungle Kitty." Matt says, "Second place for the Empty Shell Challenge goes to 'Scow' by Sisko2374." "Third place for the Empty Shell Challenge goes to 'Double Dipped' by Stephanie Watson." Matt looks at Will. "Oh, sorry, did you want to do one?" Will sighs. "Never mind, Dad. I'm used to being pushed aside." Vic Fontaine applauds politely as the Deckers exit. "Our next award is for TOS Drabbles, folks. Here to present is Captain Montgomery Scott!" The audience responds enthusiastically as Scotty, a bit heavier and grayer than in his glory days, but still as twinkling with good cheer as ever. "And so, lassie," Scotty is saying to the pretty young woman who has escorted him out, "'tis one of the great mysteries of the ages. But I'll be glad to oblige ye--" "Thanks, Scotty," she says. "But I think I'll have to wait till some other time to find out what Scotsmen keep under their kilts." "Right, duty calls," Scotty says. He straightens himself up. "Nice to see all of you tonight. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves as much as I am." Calls of 'yes' and 'no' ring out from the audience. At least one person yells, "Beam me up, Scotty!" "Ah, I can't be doing that without a transporter," Scotty chides. "Besides, if you left now you'd be missing out on so much--especially finding out which are the winning drabbles!" Scotty fumbles in his jacket pocket. "Now where did I put that wee beastie--ah! Here it is." He clears his throat impressively. "First place for TOS Drabbles goes to 'Red Alert' by Alex Voy." "Second place for TOS Drabbles goes to 'Rock Candy' by Ventura33." "Third place for TOS Drabbles goes to 'Variation on a Lyrastar Theme - Kissing Up To Captain Kirk: Chekov' by PineTrees." A large Gorn emerges from the wings and takes center stage. It is large, scaly and green, clad in a close fitting brown tunic, through the belt of which are thrust several nasty looking weapons. Turning its shiny silver eyes on the audience (many of whom have taken a few steps back in alarm), the Gorn opens his mouth. Several hissing noises are heard, but no discernible words. "Audio," Rocky says into her comm badge, "we need a hook up with the Universal Translator *now*!" In mid-sentence the hisses suddenly turn into Federation Standard. "--only appropriate for me to be here to present the awards for Challenge Stories, as it was I who met Captain Kirk in the Metron challenge for dominance between our two species." The Gorn pulls out the envelope. "First place for TOS Challenge goes to 'Imperialism' by Bill Livingston." "Second place for TOS Challenge goes to 'Diversionary Strike' by PineTrees." "Third place for General Challenge goes to 'Oh Yeah' by PineTrees." After the Gorn has exited, two flunkies come out and unroll a strip of red carpet on the stage. "Who are we expecting, the Queen of England?" asks Vic. "Nope," says Rocky, watching as a dais is brought in, followed by several retainers who take up their positions nearby. "But you're on the right track." The overhead loudspeaker announces, "His Excellency, Lord Khan Noonien Singh." A hush falls over the audience, followed by cries of "Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!" led by Jemima Pereira. Khan smiles, pleased, as he ascends the dais. "It is well to be recognized as the superior specimen of humanity that I am. Even outside of the region of space in which I have made my mark." He looks around. "This is not Ceti Alpha V! But it will do--yes, it will do." A woman kneels at his side. "Lord Khan--" "Yes, Marla?" "Do you require my presence any longer?" "You may go or stay," Khan says, as if not terribly interested, "as long as it is what you *choose* to do. But I had hoped you were made of sterner stuff." Marla retreats. Khan doesn't waste another glance in her direction. Instead, he holds out his hand, and an aide immediately places an envelope in his palm. "I am here to present the award for TOS Author," Khan says. "The historians of the future, who spin stories of my great and glorious career--and of other characters as well. They perform an invaluable service. "First place for TOS Authors goes to Jungle Kitty." "Second place for TOS Authors goes to Lyrastar." "Third place for TOS Authors goes to PineTrees." Khan grandly steps off the dais and sweeps off the stage. -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 00:37:00 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n26.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.82]) by eagle (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhBjF6Dm3NZFji1 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:31 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13492-1082867549-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah o.com Received: from [66.218.66.28] by n26.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:29 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 41031 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:32:28 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.166) by m22.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:28 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta5.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:28 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbJa-0003gd-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:26 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:32:20 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner 4/8 (All) [PG-13] Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark & Cana Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US da. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/5x3olB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:41:23 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 4/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** "How are we doing time-wise?" Rocky asks. "Considering it's been three hours so far and we're only at the halfway mark, I'd say about the same as usual," Seema says. "You think maybe we could speed things up a little?" Rocky rolls her eyes. "Trying to get any of these characters to do exactly what we want is almost impossible. They've all got minds of their own." "Don't I know it," Seema says. "Sometimes they can just go on and on, adding pages of dialogue when you all you want is to get to the action already! But just remember, if simple persuasion won't work--" "There's always Big Betsey," Rocky says, nodding. "I'll get right on it." "You do that," Seema says, watching Rocky go off. "I'd almost feel sorry for the TNG people," Seema mutters, "if I wasn't more afraid that Picard is just going to talk her to death." Vic Fontaine has been swapping jokes with the audience during the commercial break. "Oh, we're back?" Geordi La Forge, looking very dapper dressed all in black and sporting a stylish goatee comes out on stage. "I'm here to present the awards for TNG Drabbles. You know, there's nothing like a good drabble to show an example of engineering at its finest, because every single word counts for so much--" Geordi breaks off as his enhanced artificial eye detects some peripheral motion off to the right, in the form of a large phaser rifle being aimed directly at his head. "But I'm sure you know all that already," he says hastily, "so on with the show." Rocky smiles and pats Big Betsey before slinging the rifle over her shoulder once more. "First place for TNG Drabbles goes to 'Hitch' by Alex Voy." "Second place for TNG Drabbles goes to 'Watch Where You're Aiming!' by Lyrastar." "Third place for TNG Drabbles goes to 'Repetition' by Cait N." As Geordi exists to a round of applause, Vic greets the next pair of presenters. "For a moment there, boys, I thought I was seeing double!" "This is my brother, B-4," Data informs Vic. "Crazy," Vic says approvingly. "I never knew you had an 'evil twin', Data." "No, that is Lore," Data says. "And considering the circumstances of our last meeting, I do not anticipate his showing up here tonight." B-4 chooses this moment to push his fingers into Vic's face. "Why does my hand go through you?" "That is because he is a holographic projection," Data says. "B-4, it is not polite to stick your hand through people." "Why?" "Because they do not appreciate such things." "Why?" "Never mind," Data says, a bit wearily. "Mr. Fontaine, I apologize for the actions of my brother." "It's okay," Vic says breezily. "You know the old expression, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." "I know another version of that expression," B-4 says brightly. "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's--" "We must be going, B-4," Data says, pulling him along. "Thanks for the sage advice, pal," Vic says, amused. Onstage, B-4 looks around at the audience. "Say hello to the nice people," Data coaches. "Hello, nice people," B-4 says. "Do you know why we are here tonight, B-4?" "Yes." "To--" Data coaxes him "Give out awards for TNG General Story," B-4 says. "That's right," Data says, and pulls out an envelope. "What is an award?" "It is a sign of recognition, that someone has done a good job," Data says. "I do not get any awards when I do a good job," B-4 says. "But we tell you when you have done something correctly," Data says. "But I never get any rewards!" B-4 says. His face puckers up as if he is about to burst into tears. "I will give you a reward when we get home," Data says hastily. "Now, I must present the--" "Can I meet the General?" B-4 asks eagerly. "I would like that for my reward!" "What General?" Data asks, puzzled. "General Story. Isn't he here?" "There is no general," Data says, patiently. "'General' in this case refers to a non-specific category of stories--never mind, I will explain later. Right now, just stand up straight and be very quiet." "OK," says B-4. "I can do that. I can be very quiet. I can be so very quiet, no one will even know that I am here--" Data claps a hand over B-4's mouth then opens the envelope. "First place for TNG General Story goes to 'The Institute' by Ventura33." "Second place for TNG General Story goes to 'Letting Down the Race' by Ventura33." Data turns to B-4. "Would you like to do the last one?" "No," says B-4, "I am being very quiet now." Data clears his throat. "Third place for TNG General Story goes to 'April Q' by Alara Rogers." The band begins to play as the presenters and winners exit. The overhead loudspeaker says, "To present the award for TNG General Pairing, Commander William T. Riker, and Commander Deanna Troi!" Riker and Troi come out. He is wearing his white dress uniform. She is in a peach dress. Riker flashes a big smile at the crowd. "Though technically, it should be 'Captain and Mrs. Riker', right, Deanna?" "Or Commander and Mister Troi," she says sweetly. Riker acknowledges the thrust. "I've always liked that dress on you, Deanna. Isn't that the one you wore at our wedding in Alaska?" "It's certainly not what I had on for the Betazoid ceremony a few weeks later," she says with a laugh. "Network standards and all. Now if this was being broadcast on cable..." There is a disappointed 'oh' from the audience. Riker hastily changes the subject. "Well, I think it's very appropriate that we are here tonight to present this award, considering how long we've been together. How many years has it been?" "That depends," Deanna says, "whether or not you count all those years on the Enterprise-D, when you were off chasing alien babes of the week--" "--and you were involved with Worf?" Riker says pointedly. "Exactly," says Deanna. "It certainly took us long enough to finally come to our senses." "Way too long, my Imzadi," Riker agrees. The two share a kiss, before Riker pulls out the envelope. "First place for TNG General Pairing goes to 'Pistol Packin' Pink' by monkee." Deanna takes the envelope. "Second place for TNG General Pairing goes to 'One of the Living' by Alara Rogers." Together, they say, "Third place for TNG General Pairing goes to 'A Little Bit Of Fun' by Catherine Ellis." Vic comes out and applauds as Riker and Troi exit. "And now for another classic TNG couple, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Doctor Beverly Crusher, to present the awards for P/C Pairing!" As Crusher walks by, Vic says, "I hope you'll save a dance for me later, doll, at the post-Awards party!" "Wouldn't miss it," says Crusher. She is wearing a soft mint-green gown, her red hair swept up into a French bun. Picard is wearing a white dinner jacket and black bow tie that looks like it could have come straight from a Dixon Hill holonovel. "You're looking particularly lovely tonight, my dear." "Why thank you, Jean-Luc," Beverly says, smiling. "You don't compliment me very often, so when you do, I know you really mean it." "I don't compliment you often?" Picard says in surprise. "That's something I must rectify immediately. But you should know even when I don't say anything, I do notice. In fact, sometimes I just can't take my eyes off you." "You old charmer, you," Beverly says, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "Oh, Jean-Luc, why is it you and I never got together?" "Aside from having breakfast every day?" Picard shakes his head. "You know--" "Yes. Jack, and then his death and your guilt and then your being my commanding officer---" "Not to mention Wesley." "You think Wesley would have objected to our getting together?" Beverly says, clearly shocked at the idea. "I didn't mean that he would object, but that *he* was objec--never mind," Picard says. "Beverly, you know, you're not the CMO on the Enterprise anymore." "And that means what?" she says, her lips curving in a provocative smile. "Let me put it this way, are you doing anything tonight?" Picard asks, leaning over her and cupping her cheek in his hand. "Aside from the dance I promised to Vic?" Beverly asks innocently. "Is the dance really that important?" "Well," she says, making a show of thinking hard, "he is awfully light on his feet, if you know what I mean...no, I guess not." "Good," Picard says. "Then the sooner we present these awards, the sooner we can be away from here." "An excellent idea," Beverly says. She opens the envelope. "First place for Picard/Crusher Pairing goes to 'A Distant Shore' by Seema." Picard takes a turn. "Second place for Picard/Crusher Pairing goes to 'Connections' by Whoa Nellie." Beverly finishes up. "Third place for Picard/Crusher Pairing goes to 'Mistaken Place' by Louise Ellis." Vic chuckles as he watches the two of them prepare to leave, then straightens up. "Uh oh, trouble at two o'clock." Vash glides up to the two would-be lovers. "Jean-Luc, surely you weren't going to dash off without saying hello?" "That sounds like a great plan to me," Beverly says. Her eyes are twin laser scalpels and aimed at the other woman, who is wearing a violet halter dress which leaves her midriff bare. "Vash," Picard says weakly. "You're looking, uh, as splendid as usual." "Thank you," Vash coos. She squeezes his arm, lingering a bit longer than is polite. "You always were such a charmer." "Yes, he is," Beverly says, her arm tightening possessively on Picard's. "Sorry to disappoint you, honey, but we really have to be going now." "Don't trouble yourself, *dear*," says Vash just as sweetly. "I'll see you around, Jean-Luc. Perhaps next time without the extra baggage in tow." Any reply of Picard's is lost as Beverly drags him away. Vash watches them go, an amused smile on her lips, then resumes her walk to center stage, her hips swaying with every step. "Good evening," she says. "I'm delighted to be here to present the awards for Picard Pairing." Her expression leaves no doubt about who she thinks should constitute the other half of that romantic grouping. Vash pulls the envelope out of her waistband. "First place for Picard Pairing goes to 'Interlude' by Rocky." "Second Place for Picard Paring goes to 'Fire And The Rose' by Lori." "And finally, third place for Picard Pairing goes to 'Test Of Focus' by Lori." Vic pulls out a large handkerchief and mops his face. "Whew! That's one catfight averted!" (Offstage, Seven of Nine lifts her head. "Did someone say catsuit? Is it my turn to go on?" "No, no," Rocky says hastily. "We've still got one more category to go in TNG, and then there's all of DS9 to get through first.") Before Vic can announce the next presenter, there is a brilliant flash of light. "How nice, another ASC Awards dinner," Q says, as he surveys the crowd and rubs his hands together in anticipation. "Q!" shouts Picard, as he runs up to the omnipotent being. "What are you doing here?" "Why, I'm here to enjoy the festivities, of course," Q says. "Ratliff always throws a good party." Q glances at Picard's clothes, then down at himself; as usual, he is wearing the uniform of a Starfleet captain. "However, I agree I don't seem to be properly dressed for the part." A wave of the hand, and Q is wearing white tie and tails. "A bit more formal than your attire, but I think this will do just fine, don't you?" "Your outfit is hardly relevant or important," Picard says between gritted teeth. "What matters is--" "Ah, but I remember the last time I showed up naked in one of your venues, Jean-Luc," Q says. "Clothes make the man, you know." He leans in closer and says in a stage whisper audible to the very last row of the audience, "By the way, did you notice you've got lipstick on your collar? An interesting shade, too--not one I'd think would go with a green gown, more like a violet color scheme--" "Q!" says Picard hastily. "I want you to get off my stage!" "Your stage?" Q feigns surprise. "Why, mon capitaine, this is hardly *your* stage. Unless you meant that you were here to present the award for TNG Author?" "As a matter of fact," Picard says, striving to get his temper back under control, "that's exactly what I'm about to do." "Excellent!" Q says. "We'll do it together." "Q..." Picard says, while glancing backstage and making frantic gestures (which are being studiously ignored), "this is hardly the time or the place--" "Nonsense!" Q snaps his fingers and the envelope appears in his hand. "I'll start. First place for TNG Author goes to Alara Rogers." Picard recovers enough to grab the envelope. "Second place for TNG Author goes to Lori." Q snaps his fingers again and the envelope is in his grasp once more. "Third place for TNG Author goes to Seema." "Q," says Picard, shaking his head as they go offstage. "You are the most irritating, annoying, obnoxious, egotistical--" "Oh, Jean-Luc," Q says, "flattery will get you everywhere." He winks at the surprised captain. "But I'm afraid that will have to wait for another time." As Picard watches open-mouthed, Q disappears in another flash of light. *** -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 00:37:00 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n1.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.64]) by condor (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhBjI2aR3NZFjK0 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:34 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13493-1082867553-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah o.com Received: from [66.218.66.97] by n1.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:33 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 87522 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:32:33 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.167) by m14.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:33 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta6.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:33 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbJe-0003gd-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:31 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:32:25 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner (All) [PG-13] 5/8 Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:42:33 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 5/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** Doctor Julian Bashir, clad in a smart tuxedo, comes out on stage. Flashing a smile at the crowd, he says suavely, "It's an honor to be here tonight, ladies and gentlemen--and non-gendered beings, of course--but even more so to present the award for the category of Featuring Bashir." He stops short when he sees a small, dark-haired woman in a maroon gown and matching shawl make her way toward him. "Mother? What are you doing here?" Amsha Bashir smiles and greets the crowd first before turning to her son. "I'm here to help you, Jules." It is a truism that when confronted by our parents most of us immediately regress to age five. Dr. Bashir, for all his genetically engineered superiority, is no exception. "My name is Julian and I don't need any help!" he says, his voice rising to what sounds suspiciously close to a whine. With difficulty he manages to refrain from stamping his foot. "Yes, dear, I know, but as your mother I only want what's best for you." "That's what you always say," Bashir grumbles. "Believe me, Mother, I can manage on my own." Amsha tsk-tsks and pats her son's arm. "Very well. Go ahead, darling." As he opens his mouth to begin, she quickly interjects, "Do you think I could do the first one? I'm so proud of you, son, a whole category devoted to stories about you--" His face carefully expressionless, Bashir hands the envelope to his mother without a word. "Oh, thank you. That's so nice of you, Jules--I mean, Julian. Ahem. First place for Featuring Bashir goes to 'Intifada' by nostalgia." "Second place for Featuring Bashir goes to 'Amsha's War' by nostalgia." Amsha is about to do the third and final award as well but at the last moment remembers and hands the envelope to her son. "Sorry, sorry, I just carried away a bit." She dabs at her eyes with a handkerchief and gives her boy a fond smile. Bashir reads, "Third place for Featuring Bashir goes to 'Missing' by Valerie Shearer." As the music starts up, Bashir escorts his mother off-stage, only to meet Garak. "Why, Doctor Bashir, Madam, what a pleasant surprise." "Hello, Garak, how've you been?" Bashir says, a genuine smile on his face for the first time in many minutes. Amsha looks suspiciously at the man clasping her son's hand so warmly. "And you are?" "Elim Garak, Madam, a very old and dear friend of Julian's." Garak gives a slight bow. "So I see," Amsha says frostily. Garak's talent for undercover work and sniffing out dangerous situations has obviously not deserted him. "Well, it's been charming, but I really must be getting on with presenting the next award, for Bashir Pairing." He smiles meaningfully. As Bashir tries to herd Amsha away, Garak adds, "Perhaps we could get together for a drink later, my dear Doctor. I've missed our regular luncheon dates." "Perhaps," Bashir says out loud, while mouthing 'comm me later' over his mother's head toward Garak. Garak smiles and proceeds to the microphone. "First place for Bashir Pairing goes to 'Freudian Slip' by nostalgia." "Second place for Bashir Pairing goes to 'Flirt' by Mark Russel Stanley." "Third place for Bashir Pairing goes to 'Roll Jordan Roll' by nostalgia." Backstage another crisis is brewing. "Who did you say is supposed to be presenting the awards for DS9 Drabbles?" Sara asks. "Weyoun. Why?" says Rocky. "Worf just shot him." Rocky makes a face. "Again? Well, just get the next clone." "That was the last one. No new shipments till next Tuesday." "Now that's a problem." Rocky thinks for a moment, tapping the phaser rifle in concentration. "What about the Female Founder?" "Uh, we can't find her," Sara says. "Apparently she's disguised herself as one of the props, and we can't tell which one." Suddenly Rocky has an inspiration. "Is Kai Winn still wandering around?" "Oh yeah," Sara says. "She's been trading glares with Dukat, in between wandering around saying, 'But the ASC *needs* me!'" "Well, this is her lucky day. Hand her the envelope and send her out," Rocky orders. Within moments, Kai Winn sweeps grandly on to the stage and bestows a beatific smile on the crowd. "My children, this is such an honor for you, for your Kai to come among you." There is some scattered, muted applause. A voice from the back of the room calls out, "Hey, Adami, read any good books lately?" Kai Winn ignores the snickers. "If one walk with the Prophets, all things are possible, as my presence here attests." She opens the envelope. "First place for DS9 Drabbles goes to 'Deviation' by Alex Voy." "Second place for DS9 Drabbles goes to 'Vessel Of The Gods' by Rocky." "Third place for DS9 Drabbles goes to 'Gift Of The Prophets' by Rocky." "Bless you, my children," Kai Winn says, before she is escorted off by two large and brawny types whose tailored jackets can't quite conceal the bulges caused by their security weapons. Vic watches Winn exit. "That one's a real piece of work, isn't she?" he says to Miles O'Brien. "I couldn't agree with you more," O'Brien says, then goes out on stage to do his duty. "I'm here to present the awards for DS9 General Story," O'Brien says. "Knowing more than a bit about the genre myself, of course as Julian--I mean, Doctor Bashir--and I have participated in our fair share of adventures over the years, both on and off the holodeck. And each evening I make sure to read a bedtime story to my children Molly and Yoshi--when I'm home, that is, and not carrying out some assignment for Starfleet." O'Brien clears his throat nervously. "Anyway, on to the awards." "First place for DS9 General Story goes to 'Reflections' by Rocky." "Second place for DS9 General Story goes to 'Persuasion' by Seema." "Third place for DS9 General Story goes to 'Legacy Year 1' by Valerie Shearer." "Thank you," O'Brien says as he goes off. "You've been a terrific audience." Over the loudspeaker we hear, "And now, presenting the award for DS9 General Pairing, Ezri Dax." Ezri comes gliding out in a strapless blue gown, the exact color of her eyes--and Jadzia's, too, for that matter. "Hello, everyone!" she calls out gaily and is visibly gratified by the warm reception she is given. "It's great to be here with you, and especially being reunited with old friends. Of course, over nine lifetimes I have *a lot* of friends and some of the relationships can get to be rather complicated, but we're not here to talk about me. Or at least, not exclusively about me...." She pauses. "You know, when Tobin was nervous, he used to like to do card tricks and Audra would stand on her head--sorry, I mean Emony would stand on her head, she was the gymnast and Audra was the Head of the Symbiont Commission and I really wish I'd had a chance to know her because I'm sure she would have had some very good advice for me and my situation with suddenly receiving the symbiont and having to deal with integrating all these memories--" Ezri becomes aware of Vic smiling at her encouragingly from the wings and her babbling grinds to a halt. "Speaking of relationships, then, the first place for DS9 General Pairing goes to 'Follicles' by Ventura33." "Second place for DS9 General Pairing goes to 'But Is It Love?' by Alara Rogers." "Third place for DS9 General Pairing goes to 'The End Results' by E. Michelle Logan." Ezri comes offstage. "That wasn't exactly a stellar success," she says with a sigh. "You did fine, doll, just fine," Vic says. Then catching sight of the next pair of presenters, he breaks into a grin and says, "Excuse me a moment," and turns his attention toward the stage. Odo and Kira, both clad in evening clothes are standing in front of the microphones. "I've really missed you, Nerys," Odo says. "And I've missed you, too," she says. "I'm very glad to have you here to help me present the awards for Kira Pairing." She gives him a special smile. "Very appropriate, wouldn't you say?" "I wasn't your only romance," Odo reminds her. "There was Bareil, and Shakaar and--" "But you were the last and best," Kira says firmly. "Even though I left you to go back and save my people?" he asks. "Your nobility and willingness to do the right thing is one of the things I've always loved most about you," Kira says. The two of them share a kiss, before Odo says gruffly, "First place for Kira Pairing goes to 'Wet' by Seema." Kira takes the envelope. "Second place for Kira Pairing goes to 'Family Lines' by Sara Goose." Together they announce the last winner. "Third place for Kira Pairing goes to 'Figures in the Sand' by Sara Goose." Vic gives them a thumbs up as they exist the stage. "Those two crazy lovebirds," he says. "And speaking of love, next up we have a remarkable woman. From freighter captain to Maquis smuggler to wife of the Emissary, her life's been anything but uneventful. To give out the awards for the category of Featuring Sisko, please welcome Kasidy Yates!" Kasidy comes out in a simple yet tasteful black gown which conceals most of the after-effects of her recent pregnancy. "Thank you everyone, thank you. Since Ben couldn't be here tonight, I'm honored to present to you the awards for stories which focus on him. He--" She stops suddenly as a group of four Vedeks come out on stage carrying a large, rather ornate table, and park it directly in the front of the stage. "Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?" The Vedeks do not reply. As they leave the stage, another pair of Vedeks arrive. They, too, bear a burden--a rectangular box that Kasidy realizes is one of the Orbs. The most senior Vedek motions her to stand to one side, then bows reverently and opens the box. A thick white smoke fills the stage, interspersed with flashes of brilliant light. When the dazzled eyes of the everyone present clear, Benjamin Sisko is standing there, looking very much as he did the day he fought Dukat in the Fire Caves. Several cries are heard from the audience, as well as backstage. "It's him!" "Captain Sisko!" "Emissary!" "Ben!" says Kasidy, not looking entirely pleased. "Do you know how long it's been since I've heard from you? You never call, you never write, and don't give me the same old nonsense of linear time not having any meaning where you are!" Sisko leans over and kisses his wife, effectively silencing her. Then he raises his hand to the audience. "I can't stay long, people, but it's so good to see you all again." The crowd gives him a standing ovation. "Thank you all, but as I said, my time is short, and there are some awards to give out." Kasidy hands him the envelope and he gives her a loving smile. "First place for Featuring Sisko goes to 'Everybody's Happy Nowadays' by nostalgia." "Second place for Featuring Sisko goes to 'April 4th' by Sisko2374." "Third place for Featuring Sisko goes to 'The Greatest Father' by Tori Morris." At a signal, the Vedeks come out once more and pick up the Orb. Sisko gives Kasidy one last kiss and then vanishes in a beam of golden light. Once the stage is clear, Vic comes out once more. "Some people really know how to make an exit, don't they?" he says. "He's a tough act to follow, but there are those who agree that the son is more than man enough to fill his father's shoes. Please welcome Jake Sisko!" Jake heads toward the microphones, a broad smile on his face. "Thank you, Vic, everyone. I'm here to present the final DS9 award of the evening, that of best author." He pulls the envelope out of his jacket pocket. "First place for Best Author goes to Seema." "Second place for Best Author goes to nostalgia." "Third place for Best Author goes to Valerie Shearer." Jake smiles again. "From one writer to another, keep up the great work, all of you!" *** -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 00:37:00 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n17.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.72]) by condor (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhBjP4Hj3NZFjK3 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:41 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13494-1082867560-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah o.com Received: from [66.218.66.28] by n17.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:40 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 41568 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:32:40 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.216) by m22.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:40 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta1.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:40 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbJj-0003gd-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:36 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:32:30 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner (All) [PG-13] 6/8 Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark & Cana Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US da. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/5x3olB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:43:50 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 6/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** The Awards staff scrambles to make sure the Voyager crew are ready to present. After a certain captain was found running off in a Mustang with a certain helm boy at a previous Awards dinner, the staff is determined to make another such bout of violence does not ensue. Especially Rocky. She pats Big Betsey lovingly, all the while staring threateningly in Tom Paris' direction. "If he so much as *lays* a hand on her," Rocky mutters under her breath. "There, there," Seema says soothingly, "I'm pretty sure B'Elanna will rip Tom's tongue out before you can use your, eh, whateverthehell kind of weapon that is." "Don't think I won't use it!" Rocky shouts as Tom gets up from his seat and heads in Janeway's direction. Stunned by Rocky, Tom sits back down, this time in Harry's lap. "Tom!" Harry pushes his friend off. Seema sighs. "Rocky, we really do need to talk..." Meanwhile, Sara is trying to keep things going. "We have an Awards dinner to run!" she hisses under her breath. She consults her list. "Let me see, who's up first..." Neelix, dressed in a colorful suit, flashes a wide-toothed smile at Sara before heading off to the stage. He waves at the audience cheerfully and practically hop-skips-jumps to the podium. The spotlights swing wildly for a moment before a nice baby blue light illuminates the Talaxian nicely. "Hello! Hello!" Neelix exclaims. "How are you? It's so good to be here and especially to be reunited with my good friends, Captain Janeway and the rest of the Voyager crew." He whips out the envelope. "I've been asked to present the Award for Best Challenge Drabble. As you know, there is some dispute about exactly what a drabble is. Some people think it's a vignette, some believe it's a story with a certain number of words, others say it's a very short story, but this year's fine entries all had 100 words. Third place goes to 'Position Wanted' by Rocky!" The crowd applauds. "Second place goes to 'Kismet' by Cait N.!" "First place goes to 'Job Description' by Rocky! Congratulations to all of you!" Backstage, Harry is pacing nervously while Tom Paris tries to calm him down. "Come on, Harry, this isn't the first time you've done this!" Tom says. "Your fear of the audience is irrational and unjustified," Tuvok says. "They have spent many hours writing about us and so clearly, they enjoy our presence." Harry scowls at both of them, but before he can response, Sara Goose pushes him out into the bright spotlight. She shrugs as she passes Tom Paris. "Sometimes, you just gotta throw the kid out there." Paris shakes his head in sympathy. "Poor Harry. He's had to grow up so fast. I tried to teach him, I really did, but every time he comes up in front of the Promotion Board, he gets all tongue-tied and stares at his feet. No wonder he's going on a decade as an ensign." Tom goes off in this vein for a little longer, but the Awards staff turns their attention back to Harry Kim, who now wears a deer-in-the-headlights look as he stares at the audience. Finally, he clears his breath. "Uh, I'm here to present the Award for Best General Pairing Drabble, uh, and like Neelix said, these are stories of about 100 words about --" here color rises in Harry's cheeks "-- the love lives of, um, some of my fellow crewmembers, um, and certainly not mine. I mean, not all the time. I don't really get the girl, you know. It's like she's dead, or a Borg, or a terrorist." Harry's voice shakes a little bit. Backstage, everyone lets out of a collective groan of sympathy, one that is echoed by the audience as well. "Poor Harry," Tom remarks, "one hundred words would be excessive to sum up *his* love life." Onstage, Harry reads, "Third place goes to 'A Moving Experience' by Rocky!" "Second place goes to 'Distant Memories' by Alex Voy!" "First places goes to 'Desperate by Rocky'!" Backstage, there's an uproar as a very handsome, leather clad gentleman appears. Janeway promptly swoons into Tom's arms. The EMH rushes over to assist, as the leather clad gentleman strikes a pose. Chakotay stands up, arms akimbo. "You!" Chakotay exclaims. Kashyk pumps out his chest. "Me!" Chakotay gives Kashyk his very best glare. "I can't believe the Awards Staff has hired a Mass Murdering Xenophobe as a presenter! What does that say about the integrity and quality of this event?" "Well, it was by special request," Seema says, gulping. "Kelly Chambliss is a big fan of yours, uh, Mr., uh, Kashyk." "Is anyone watching the clock? The networks are going to start getting cranky with us," Sara says. "I am ready to do my work," Kashyk says. "Just give me the envelope and we'll get started." "Over my dead body!" Chakotay yells. "That can be arranged," Kashyk says, licking his lips in anticipation. "That's more Kathryn for me!" "Hey! None of that!" Sara says. "You--" she points to Kashyk "-- on stage! And you" -- this is directed at Chakotay "-- sit down and go into that coma mode you're so good at." Kashyk struts onto stage to the oohs and ahs of the audience. He stops momentarily to sign autographs for Kelly Chambliss, monkee, Ventura33 and Abbey Carter, and then moves on to the podium. "Ladies and gentlemen," he says, his voice inflicted with just a bit of breathlessness. A few members of the audience faint at the sound of his voice. "I'm here to present the Award for Best General Pairing. I'm honored and delighted to announce in third place, we have 'A Healer's Hands' by Ventura33!" "In second place, we have 'Harsh' by Rocky!" "And in first place, 'A Sense of Permanence' by Seema!" The lights dim and Kashyk disappears. When the lights come back on, the Borg Queen in all of her fully-assembled leathery green-tinged skin glory stands. In the background, a PowerPoint slideshow gives glowing reviews of a Borg Queen Assimilate Yourself Kit--assembly required, batteries not included. "Hello, individuals," she says very coolly. A hush of fear and consternation falls over the audience. First an MMX and now the Borg Queen? The Queen scans the crowd closely. "Well, hello, Seven of Nine, how nice to see you again. And Jean-Luc? Have you fixed that little problem of yours?" Her upper lip curls into a sneer. "Ahem. It is somewhat a pleasure to be here. I'm always on the lookout for new talent, new perfection to add to my own. Therefore, since there are so many of you to assimilate and so little times, I shall get on with announcing the recipients of the award for Best General Story." "In first place, 'Which Way I Flie' by Kelly Chambliss!" "In second place, 'The World Is Room' by Paula Stiles!" & Seem "In third place, 'Home' by Rocky a!" Backstage, Seven smoothes her catsuit, running her hands over the curve of hip and down the length of leg. It's not lost on Janeway -- or Rocky -- that Chakotay is watching in admiration. His mouth is slightly open, and drool is trickling out of the corner. Sighing, Seema gets a napkin and wipes off Chakotay's mouth, just as Sara brings the make-up people to retouch the tattoo and concealer on the former first officer's face. "Hurry! Time is running out!" Seema exclaims. "And don't worry, the Borg Queen has gone off stage right and you're entering stage left. Don't worry, nothing will happen to you." Janeway jumps to her feet. "I'll take care of you, Seven! I will risk life and limb and crew to keep you safe! I cannot imagine not having you in my life! I will protect you!" "Captain oh my captain!" Seven promptly falls into Janeway's arms, crying. Sara sighs. Now there's make-up all over Janeway's gown, and Seven's breasts, um, need, um, readjusting. Sara sends the make-up people on over to re-perfect Seven. Finally, Tuvok's security guards pry Seven loose and Chakotay grabs her by the arm and leads her out onto the stage. Meanwhile, Seema sighs happily. "Aren't they a beautiful couple?" she asks. Rocky glares and continues polishing Betsey. "Good evening, Seven and I are here to present the Award for Multiple Pairing," Chakotay announces. "This category is for stories which features two or more couples in love." "These stories are true perfection," Seven says. Chakotay looks longingly at Seven. "For what can be more perfect than love? I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes The love that's all around me, and so the feeling grows." Backstage, the Awards staff exchanges horrified looks. Previous Awards dinners have featured singing from the EMH, but never anyone else. Well, aside from Kirk's earlier rendition of "I'm Too Sexy for My Shirt." "Can Chakotay even sing?" Sara's lower lip trembles in fear. "And why oh why did he have to pick that song from 'Four Weddings and a Funeral'? Now I'll *never* get it out of my head!" "I've got my hand on the PA system," Stephen promises. He holds up a PADD. "I can cut him off. Just give me the word." "I wonder if he sings better than he pilots a shuttle?" Rocky asks. "I wish they'd just get on with it," Seema says. "Commander," Seven says, "we must proceed with this Awards ceremony. We cannot delay." Chakotay nods and wipes a bit of spittle of his chin. "In third place, we have 'Ships In The Night' by Rocky!" Seven takes the envelope and reads the next placement. "Second place belongs to 'Q and Sympathy' by Rocky." "In first place, we have 'The Symbols of Our Love' by Seema." Chakotay and Seven walk off stage arm in arm. Chakotay's still humming the tune to "Love is all around" under his breath. As he passes Janeway, he says meaningfully, "You know I love you, I always will. My mind's made up by the way that I feel. There's no beginning, there'll be no end. 'Cause on my love you can depend." "Please," Janeway says, rustling her satin skirts importantly. "It'll take more than some twentieth century love song to win *my* heart." "Tell me! Tell your Angry Warrior! He'll do anything you need him to do!" Chakotay falls to his knees. Seven looks disgusted and flounces off. "Stay there and don't get up," Janeway orders. "Think about your transgressions. When I come back, you can build me an entire bathroom with your bare hands and *then* we'll talk." "Yes, captain oh my captain," Chakotay says meekly. Janeway sweeps on to the stage, her chin lifted high. Her hair is styled in an upsweep, showing off her majestic cheekbones and her forehead. She puts her hands on either side of the podium, and leans forward ever so slightly. In the front row, Kelly Chambliss, Alex Voy and Abbey Carter hold out their note pads for autographs. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm so honored to be here tonight to present the Award for best story featuring myself." She pauses slightly as she hears the sound of sawing and hammering from off-stage. Clearing her throat, Janeway continues. "I am very much touched by the devotion and dedication of each one of you--" somehow, Janeway manages to make eye contact with each and every member of the audience "-- and the amount of time you spend on analyzing me, my actions, my moods, and my hair. It is truly a treat to read what you have written for me." In the background, the sound of hammering grows louder. Janeway raises her voice. "And now, it's time for that moment you've all been waiting for. In third place, 'Retrospection' by Alex Voy!" "In second place, 'Resonance' by Alex Voy!" "In first place, 'Day Trip' by Julie Evans!" The crowd applauds as Janeway moves elegantly off the stage. However, backstage, she nearly trips over her kneeling first officer, whose tuxedo is now covered with saw dust. "What the hell is going on?" Janeway demands. She looks around. "Chakotay!" "I'm very sorry about crashing all of those shuttles and chasing after every blond who ever came my way," Chakotay says meekly. But Janeway is no longer listening. She stares at the bathtub, vanity and toilet that Chakotay has fashioned out of rich yellow-brown teak wood. Janeway runs her fingers along the smooth surfaces. She appears especially pleased about the deep, large bathtub -- large enough for two. "Apology accepted," Janeway says. She focuses her attention on Chakotay. "Does the plumbing work?" He blushes. "The answer to that question is yes, Captain, on *both* counts." "Good." Janeway's lips turn up. "I'd love to try that complimentary peach bubble bath we received in our presenter baskets. Wouldn't you like to help me with that, Commander?" Chakotay moves to unpin Janeway's hair, but not before Seema comes running by and pushes them on to the stage. "Awards now! Bathing later!" Seema exclaims. "Really, don't these people have *any* sense of propriety or timing?" A slightly disheveled Janeway and saw-dust covered Chakotay stumble on to the stage. "We're going to make this quick," Janeway announces. "We're here to present the award for best story featuring Janeway/Chakotay." "Kathryn and I appreciate all of your efforts on our part. You have been so diligent in writing stories about us and our true love." Chakotay looks longingly at Kathryn. "It's written on the wind. It's everywhere I go." In the front row, Jemima groans. "Not the evil challenge *again*." Next to Jemima, Lori wears a satisfied expression. Janeway and Chakotay take no notice. Janeway is practically breathless. "Go on, my Angry Warrior, please, by all means, go on." "I see your face before me. As I lay on my bed, I cannot get to thinking of all the things you said. You gave your promise to me and I gave mine to you. I need someone beside me in everything I do," Chakotay continues in a rich, deep baritone. Backstage, Seema downs another margarita. Stephen is ready to turn off the PA system. Sara just looks miserable. Rocky stands at attention, a blissful expression on her face. Janeway clears her throat; her face is flushed, whether from the heat of the spotlights or something else, it's impossible to completely tell. "Um, as the Commander and I have other things to attend to, I'm pleased to present first place to 'A Trick of the Light' by Seema." "In second place, 'Not So Bora Bora-ing Pink' by Rocky," says Chakotay. "In third place, 'Ex-Q's Me' by Cait N.," Janeway says. She smiles at Chakotay. He reaches up to unpin her hair and she carefully starts to unbutton the front of his saw-dusty shirt. The audience whoops and hollers, but before the couple can get much further, Tuvok's security guards come running out and pull the two off stage. A hot bath is already running in the teak bathroom and steam fills the entire backstage. Seema groans and has another margarita. "I *so* don't need to see this." Thankfully, Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres are ready to go and present their award. They look mature and well-behaved, a far cry from previous Awards dinner when their antics had the Awards staff in despair. B'Elanna looks elegant in brown velvet, while Tom is wearing a shirt made of many shades of blue. The artistry of the make-up department has minimized the recession level of his hairline. "Good evening," Tom says. "I'm honored to be here with my lovely wife and mother of my daughter, B'Elanna Torres." B'Elanna blushes. "Oh shucks, Tom." Then B'Elanna squints. "Do you hear something, Tom? Is Miral crying?" Tom shakes his head. "You're imagining things, B'Elanna." "No, no," B'Elanna says. She looks offstage. "I hear Miral." Her expression gets a little panicky. Tom looks at the audience, flashing a smile many women have fallen hard for. In the front row, Barbara Watson, along with Julie Evans and Jamelia wave their note pads in an attempt to get Tom's attention. "Miral is asleep and is currently being taken care of by Kes," Tom says confidentially. Before Tom can continue, a loud wail sounds through the auditorium. "She is awake!" B'Elanna storms off the stage. Tom sighs. "She'll be back, I promise. But in the meantime--" B'Elanna reappears, holding a sleepy Miral. The audience oohs and ahhs. "Isn't she adorable?" Tom asks proudly. B'Elanna beams. Miral presses her face against her mother's shoulder and continues to sniffle. "And now, third place for best Paris/Torres story goes to 'Oxygen' by Seema." B'Elanna announces the next Awards. "Second place goes to 'Right in Front of You' by Seema." Tom and B'Elanna exchange looks and then B'Elanna whispers something into Miral's ear. There are a few minutes of awkward silence as the parents try to cajole their toddler. Finally, Miral lisps into the microphone, "First place goes to 'Nomad's Dream' by Ventura33." The crowd goes wild as Tom and B'Elanna and Miral proudly exit the stage. Tuvok is the image of decorum. His tux is perfectly pressed and somehow, he has managed to avoid the sawdust that has enveloped the rest of presenters and Awards staff. He strides confidently and purposefully on stage. "I am here to present the Award for best Single Person story," Tuvok says. "This category is stories about a single individually, usually featuring that individual as the narrator. I'm pleased to present third place to 'Mother Crazed' by Abbey Carter." "Second place belongs to 'Shores of Darkness' by Alex Voy." "First place belongs to Alara Rogers for ' How To Write Moi Without Looking Like More Of An Idiot Than Your Feeble Species Dooms You To, by Q'." The Awards staff lets out a sigh of relief; as usual, Tuvok comes through without a hitch. Last Voyager category of the evening and so far everything has gone relatively smoothly. Everyone backstage, however, has moved to the left side of the stage, as the right side is now occupied by a very naked bathing Janeway and Chakotay. Everyone, that is, except Rocky, who stands guard protectively over the two, shooting evil looks at anyone who comes near the bathing beauties, especially Seven of Nine. The EMH and Kes arrive on stage. Kes is wearing a peach colored gown, while the EMH's cummerband is the same shade. "We are very please to present the Award for Best Voyager Author," the EMH announces. "I know some of you are disappointed that I am not presenting the Filk Award this year. I understand my singing is a highlight of the Awards dinner every year, but this year, the Awards coordinator made it very clear to me that it was inappropriate to sing during this category. Though--" he casts a snarky look towards right stage "-- that advice wasn't apparently passed on to other people. For those of you attending David Geffen's After Awards party, I will be singing a few selections from my new album, 'I Write The Songs.' And yes, for my fans, I will be singing 'Something in the Air Tonight', which is currently number 323 on the IntraGalatic Music Charts. Copies of my album will be available for sale as you depart for the low, low price of two bars of latinum or for download from iTunes for--" Kes leans forward. "Doctor, this isn't a stop on your publicity tour." The EMH nods. "Of course I know this, Kes, but I thought these people would want to know that I'm truly a renaissance man. Not only have I have written a *novel*, I'm now a well-established singing sensation as well." "No doubt, the audience is very happy that you've accomplished so much since your return from the Delta Quadrant. You've more than exceeded the initial parameters of your programming. But now," Kes says firmly, "we must get on with the evening so these nice people get out in a timely manner and thus have the opportunity to buy your album." The EMH nods, albeit a little sadly. "In third place, Seema!" Kes announces, "In second place, Alex Voy!" "First place goes to Rocky!" Kes smiles widely and says, "Congratulations to all of the Voyager writers! Keep up the good work! We really enjoy reading your stories! And please, if I can ask a favor? More stories about me? Please?" -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 00:37:01 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n40.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.108]) by skylark (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhBk55o3NZFjw0 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:57 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13496-1082867567-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah o.com Received: from [66.218.66.30] by n40.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:47 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 57068 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:32:47 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.217) by m24.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:47 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta2.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:47 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbJo-0003gd-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:40 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:32:34 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner (All) [PG-13] 7/8 Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark & Cana Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US da. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/5x3olB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:45:24 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 7/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** When the lights come back on, Worf is standing at the podium. He looks very proper in his tuxedo, his hair pulled back in a ponytail. In the front row, E. Michelle Logan pumps her fist at the sight of the Klingon. When Worf speaks, his voice is deep and resonates throughout the auditorium. "I am here to present the Award for Best Combined story," he says. "It is an honor to be here, as others have already stated. I believe I am a natural to present this Award as I have appeared in several incarnations of Trek, not only as myself, but also as my ancestor. And many times, I am on aboard Enterprise, under the command of Captain Picard, and my timing can never be better; something interesting always occurs when I show up." Worf clears his throat. "And with that brief explanation of my presence here at these Awards, I am proud to announce that third place winner for Best Combined story is 'It's Always Fun Until Someone Loses' by Alara Rogers!" "Second place goes to 'ASC Awards Dinner 2002' by Rocky Seema Sara Stephen!" "First place goes to 'Kindred Spirits' by Rocky!" The crowd applauds, and Worf starts to exit stage right, but then changes his mind, and heads left instead, where he runs into Vic Fontaine. "Hey, pally!" Vic greets Worf. "How is it shakin'?" Worf grunts. "I do not have time for this." "Just tryin', my friend." Vic beams and proceeds onto stage, where the crowd erupts into wild applause. Backstage, the Awards staff high fives each other. Vic Fontaine has always been a crowd-pleaser. "Our next award," says Vic, "is for MIS Crossover." A blue flash appears just as the presenter approaches the microphone. From backstage, Rocky stares as what appears to be Jonathan Archer standing at center stage. Archer has a confused, 'deer in the headlights' look on his face. "Oh boy," he gulps. "Archer's giving out this award?" Seema asks, surprised. "Uh, no, he's not on the roster," Rocky says, frantically consulting her PADD. "But he's there now. Who's that next to him?" Seema says. "Looks like Colonel Grat--you know, the Tandoran official in charge of the camp of Suliban way back in the first season," Rocky answers, then quiets to hear what the two men are saying. "Al!" 'Archer' whispers frantically. "Where the hell are we?" "Relax, Sam," says 'Colonel Grat', busily pushing buttons on a brightly colored object that resembles a cross between a kindergarten activity center and a tricorder. "Ziggy says you're in the body of a guy known as Jon Archer, captain of the Enterprise." "Huh?" says 'Archer', or rather, Sam. "I thought Kirk was the captain of the Enterprise. Or was it some French guy with an English accent?" "According to Ziggy, Archer was the first--his ship was the NX-01." Sam looks around frantically. "Any clue what we're supposed to be doing? This doesn't look like a starship." Rocky sighs, then goes on stage. "Excuse me, Dr. Beckett?" Startled at being addressed by his real name, Sam says, "Yes?" Rocky says, "You and your hologram friend Al… Delveccio?" Al nods. Sam whispers, "I think she can see you, Al!" "Of course I can see you," Rocky says. "Anyway, since you appear to have Leaped into our regularly scheduled presenter, your job is to give out the awards for MIS Crossover--stories which cross Trek with some other TV show." "Oh, so that's what this envelope is for!" Sam says gratefully. Al rolls his eyes. "Right," Rocky says, backing off stage once more. Sam opens up the envelope and reads. "First place for Crossover goes to 'Makeover' by Ventura33." "Second place for Crossover goes to 'Unworthy of Assimilation' by Ventura33." "Third place for Crossover goes to 'The Other Side Of The Gate' by Jemima." No sooner than he's done speaking, there is another blue flash. When it clears, Wesley Crusher is standing there. "Uh, does anybody know what just happened?" he asks plaintively. Stumbling off stage in confusion, Wesley nearly trips over Chakotay, who has passed out in front of the giant teak bathtub; meanwhile, Janeway sits nearby in a silky peach nightgown, a satisfied grin on her face. "The plumbing works," Janeway tells Wesley. He looks at the bathroom and nods. "Good to know," he says, and as he continues on, he passes Jadzia Dax, who looks absolutely stunning in an incandescent gown of silver and blue. She flashes a dazzling smile at the audience. "Good evening!" She smiles. "All eight of me are so happy to be here tonight. It's such an honor and a privilege to present the award for Best Filk/Drabble/Poem. Unfortunately, unlike Captain Kirk, Vic Fontaine and the EMH, I do not have such a good singing voice, so I will not be able to sing a tune for you tonight. However, later on, if any of you are interested, Worf and I will be at the Entertainment Tonight after awards party and we will be teaching Klingon drinking songs. Bloodwine is on my father-in-law, General Martok." She smiles again. Backstage, Julian Bashir passes out, hitting his head on the teak bathtub, and earning a punch in the arm from Ezri Dax. "And now about this category. I feel perfectly at home, as I'm used to taking two things, putting them together and coming up with a combination that exceeds the sum of its parts. That being said, it's my honor to announce that first place goes to 'I Fought the Borg' by Jemima!" "Second place goes to 'Pun-ishment 11' by Rob Morris!" "Third place goes to 'The Sound of Borgness' by Jemima!" The lights dim, and Jadzia sweeps off stage and into the arms of her Klingon warrior. Both of them gracefully avert their eyes from the bathing Janeway and Chakotay and they step carefully over the prone figure of Julian Bashir. "And now," the loudspeaker booms, "here to present the George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew, Ensign Mary Sue!" Mary Sue comes out onstage. Her long flowing tresses are an unusual mixture of red and gold, with crystalline highlights. Her eyes, lavender in some lights, emerald green in others, are now the exact shade of cerulean blue as her diaphanous gown. "Here I am!" she cries, flinging her arms wide as if to embrace the audience, "the most popular person to ever set foot on a starship! You can all relax now, as I'm here to save the day!" It is so silent you can hear the Makatorian crickets chirp. "Oh well," sighs Mary Sue. "As I once told my boyfriend Captain Kirk--or was it the time I was having an affair with Commander Chakotay while giving piloting lessons to Tom Paris?--you can't please all of the people all of the time. My half-sister (twin, but we were separated at birth and I was raised by an alien princess) Deanna Troi told me there are times we have to subdue our natural abilities and let someone else have a bit of the limelight." She gives a melodious, silvery laugh. "After all not everyone is blessed with as many natural abilities as I am! Not even my Uncle Q!" Mary Sue pulls out the envelope. "First place for George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew goes to 'Crossing the Line' by Seema." "Second place for George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew goes to 'Not Indefatigable' by Stephen Ratliff." "Third place for George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew goes to 'Chantilly, Five Lashes' by Stephen Ratliff." Mary Sue performs an intricate curtsey to the crowd--which she learned from her cousin Elaan of Troyius--and blows kisses until the band starts playing and two young men come to escort her from the stage. Vic nods to the next presenter. "Guinan, how're you doing?" "Fine, Vic," she answers. "Yourself?" "No complaints," he says. "Good to hear," Guinan says and then goes onstage. As she walks across the stage, the camera pans across the audience, stopping briefly on Rob Morris who is talking to Peter Kirk, and then moves on to Gabrielle Lawson who is sipping a glass of white wine. Meanwhile a group of individuals wearing triangle hats and wearing buttons that read "I love Swedish meatballs!" are chatting and swapping stories at their table. The next frame shows Ananke exchanging PADDs with Bill Livingston. A group of Enterprise authors, including Mareel, Mara Greengrass, A and KayJay, are sitting at a table with Reed, who is talking animatedly, his hands gesturing wildly. "My people are known for being good listeners--no doubt why so many of us have ended up in the hospitality business since we were rescued from the Nexus," Guinan says. "Over the years, you can be sure I've heard 'em all, everybody's story. Which is why I'm really glad to be here tonight to present the awards for MIS Authors, those people who can transcend ordinary series boundaries and tell stories that can't be easily pigeonholed." Guinan pulls the envelope out of her large purple hat. "First place for MIS Author goes to Seema." "Second place for MIS Author goes to Ventura33." "Third place for MIS Author goes to Rob Morris." As Guinan exits the stage, she passes Stephen Ratliff on her way out. He nods at her and then makes his way onstage. "Good evening, I'm here to present the Award for Best New Author, commonly known as the Wolf and Otter Award, after two of our respected alumni, Greywolf and Macedon. The two of them helped nurture newbies on ASC and hopefully, those of you posting to ASC for the first time this year found a similar atmosphere and felt welcome. We're certainly glad to have you here and hope you stick around in the future. And now, on with the Awards! In third place, this author specialized in writing Reed and she turned out both drabbles and long stories based on this character. We're happy to present this Award to Mareel!" "In second place, this author made hir presence well known in TOS with her wicked sense of humor and obsession with James T. Kirk--" "Isn't everyone?" Jungle Kitty yells out. Stephen shakes his head and continues, "--but also had a story or two in the MIS category. Please welcome, Pinetrees!" "In first place, this author specialized in Voyager stories this year, but did also had contributions in other series as well. Congratulations to Alex Voy!" Stephen exits the stage, and Seema gives him a high five as she passes. In the background, the orchestra plays the theme song to Enterprise, the muzak version. A few fans are screaming, "Bring back Russell Watson! Bring back Russell Watson!" Seema steps behind the podium. "Good evening. As this year's coordinator, it's my privilege to present the Alara Rogers for Best Author. This year's trio of authors exemplified a trend we've been seeing over the past few years as all of them spanned four or more series with their work. The stories were funny, touching, angsty, action-adventure -- you name it, these authors wrote it. So, without further ado --" Seema slits the envelope with a flourish "-- third place goes to an author who has a lovely way with words and an interesting and unique perspective on not only characters, but on situations as well. Congratulations to nostalgia!" "In second place, this author has always managed to find the unusual angle to illuminate a situation or put together the most impossible crossover or combined story perfectly. Congratulations go to Ventura33!" "In first place, this author did a tremendous job in all series, whether it be with a cutting sense of humor or writing angst or simply a character vignette, she did it all gracefully. This year's Alara Rogers Award for Best Author goes to Rocky!" -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 00:37:01 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n23.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.79]) by eagle (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhBjU6nV3NZFji0 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:46 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13495-1082867565-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah o.com Received: from [66.218.67.200] by n23.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:46 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 88969 invoked from network); 25 Apr 2004 04:32:45 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.172) by m8.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:45 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.48) by mta4.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 25 Apr 2004 04:32:45 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-016dcwashp0205.dialsprint.net ([63.188.160.205]) by mallard.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BHbJs-0003gd-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 21:32:44 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.48 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 00:32:39 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW MIS 2003 ASC Awards Dinner (All) [PG-13] 8/8 Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:46:29 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 8/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** The party's over. The huge sphere is mostly deserted, except for the whirring and clicking of cleaning 'bots, working to restore order into chaos. The floor is littered with confetti, popped balloons, spilled drinks and other things that do not bear looking at too closely. Stephen tilts his chair on its back legs and slowly sips his beer. "I think it went pretty well. Aside from one or two glitches, of course. But that's to be expected." "No stabbings or phaser brawls," agrees Sara, watching one of the 'bots circle around the sleeping form of Morn a few yards away. "What more could you ask for?" Seema says, pouring herself another margarita. She holds up the pitcher. "Anyone want a refill?" Sara shakes her head, but Rocky grabs the pitcher and takes a swig directly from it. "Whoa, you'd better take it easy," Seema says. "You still have to get home." "I could give you a lift," Stephen offers. "I've got a class II shuttle in orbit. Not much in terms of comfort, but it gets you where you're going." "Which in my case, is a nice long quiet vacation," Seema says. "I'm exhausted." "I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble," Rocky says. "No tribble, I mean, no trouble at all," Stephen says. He frowns and looks at his glass. "Hey, did you notice that this stuff's green?" "You've definitely been hanging around Scotty too long," Sara says. "Frankly, I don't think any of you are fit to pilot a vehicle. I'd sooner catch a ride with Chakotay." "Now that's low," Stephen says. Seema shrugs and downs another margarita. "Here," Rocky says, fishing around in her bag and pulling out four slender cylinders. "Detox hypos. Courtesy of Doctor Crusher." "Now you're talking," the others agree. They hoist their glasses high. "Here's to another successful awards season!" "And wishing everyone another good year of fic!" Sara says. "Oh, speaking of next year," Stephen says. He catches Seema's eye and she nods. "As you know, Seema's been the coordinator for a few years now, with Sara as her assistant, so we were wondering..." Just then, Rocky's communicator beeps. "Uh, sorry, guys, got to go!" She beams away hastily. "She'll be back," Stephen says confidently. "They always are." Seema smiles and sips her drink. FINIS -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sun Apr 25 22:35:52 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n40.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.108]) by tanager (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhVVFOX3NZFmQ0 for ; Sun, 25 Apr 2004 19:33:07 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13498-1082946786-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah