o.com Received: from [66.218.66.29] by n7.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 19 Apr 2004 14:07:31 -0000 X-Sender: stephen@trekiverse.org X-Apparently-To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 63454 invoked from network); 19 Apr 2004 14:07:29 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.172) by m23.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 19 Apr 2004 14:07:29 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO albatross.mail.pas.earthlink.net) (207.217.120.120) by mta4.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 19 Apr 2004 14:07:29 -0000 Received: from sdn-ap-028dcwashp0507.dialsprint.net ([65.177.97.253]) by albatross.mail.pas.earthlink.net with smtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1BFZQK-0002nk-00 for ascl@yahoogroups.com; Mon, 19 Apr 2004 07:07:01 -0700 To: ascl@yahoogroups.com Organization: Alt.StarTrek.Creative Virtual Staff Office Message-ID: X-Mailer: Forte Agent 1.92/32.572 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.217.120.120 X-eGroups-From: Stephen From: Stephen X-Yahoo-Profile: oldmanasc MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCL@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCL@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2004 10:06:09 -0400 Subject: [ASC] NEW: 5-7-5, TOS, 1/1, poetry, humor [R] Reply-To: ASCL-owner@yahoogroups.com Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark & Cana Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US da. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/5x3olB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Tue, 13 Apr 2004 06:01:51 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: Jungle Kitty Title: 5-7-5 Author: Jungle Kitty Contact: kittyjungle @ earthlink . net Series: TOS (Star Trek: The Original Series) Posted: 4/12/2004 Part: 1/1 Codes: TOS, poetry, humor Rating: R Feedback: Yes, please, posted to the group or sent to me privately. Archive: ASC, BLTS, and WWOMB yes, all others please ask Summary: There was a call for Shatner haiku. I learned I can't write Not beta'd. As you can probably tell. The Star Trek characters and universe are the property of Paramount and Viacom. This not-for-profit piece of fan fiction is not intended to infringe upon that. The copyright applies only to the author's creative content. *** 5-7-5 (c) Jungle Kitty 2004 Shirt torn to the right. Basket shows he dresses left. Manhood set on stun. Captain James T. Kirk Seeks strange new worlds and rocks mine. Risk is his business. "Jim darling," says Ruth. "Who is this moron?" says I. Fast forward through her. Bitter dregs indeed. Communicator revealed. "Where did THAT come from?" Kirk fights hand-to-hand. Shoulder roll useless but fun. Flying leg kick wins. Deela of Scalos. Kirk, on bed, pulling on boot. You know he did her. Marlena Moreau. Sexy in both universes. James T. did them both. Amerind maiden. "I bear your child," she tells him. Honeymoon's over. Never a boy scout. Existence of young David Proves he did Carol. Beautiful Rom Com. Spock had a chance to do her. You know Kirk would have. Miss Edith Keeler. Kirk loves her, car flattens her. Stupid Guardian. Gillian Taylor. Supposedly smart lady Turns down Kirk. Yeah, right. Claudius Marcus Grants one last hour as a man. Wink wink nudge nudge. Snicker. Beautiful Helen. The Christmas party hotty. She wanted him bad. Dr. Jan Wallace. Offers Kirk a pity fuck. Oh puh-leeze! As if. Ex-girlfriend Areel. Minor action on the bridge. She begged him for it. Gary "Stud" Mitchell. Checkin' out the space chicks, yeah. "I own this starship." Mitchell and Kirk fight. Pants tear and show Lockwood's butt. Oh, for an out-take! Spock cries for mommy. Kirk wants a beach to walk on. He stares at Rand. Yawn. What are little girls made of? Who cares? I'd rather spin the naked Kirks. "Throbbing and surging. Are you like that, Captain Kirk?" All together: DUH. Kirk and the Horta. I leave that to Ventura. [Insert rock joke here] Medieval peasants. Klingons. Organians. War. Did I mention tights? Ston--T'Pring--T'Pau. No, that's not a beebop chant. Please pass the tri-ox. Commodore Decker Howls "Don't you think I know that?" Merriment ensues. A Personal Ad: Lost Changeling Seeks Creator. Must answer to Roy. I Mudd. Him Chekov. Jump, Chekov! See Chekov jump! Monkey on a stick. Journey to Babel. "Save your father!" "No!" Slap! Weep. Spock is so grounded. Mugato attack. Biker chick has great cure-all. Pervy Bones watches. Kirk. Training harness. Need I say more? Don't make me describe Shanna. Ew. By Any Other Name. Kelinda learns something new. From Kirk. Lucky girl. Nutsy cuckoo Garth. Nutsier cuckoo Marta. Two Kirks again. YAY! Kirk says "spank" and "brat." Episode 57. Can't type--hands shaking. Blowjob on the bridge. You don't believe me? Spock's Brain. Chekov and Sulu. A little-known fact: "Mira Romaine" translates to "Look at the lettuce." Hippies. Spock. Hippies. Funky Spock jams with hippies. Then they died. I wish. His ex-girlfriends cry, "We are women, hear us roar! Free Janice Lester!" Final episode. Biggest EVE ever. Going out in style! [The End] -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Mon Apr 19 10:16:46 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n8.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.92]) by sparrow (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bfzwq1813NZFjV0 for ; Mon, 19 Apr 2004 07:13:18 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13381-1082383671-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah