Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 4 Jan 2004 05:53:13 -0800 In: alt.startrek.creative From: a.q@gmx.de (acidqueen) Title: Accidentiality Author: Acidqueen a.q@gmx.de Series: TOS - Humor Pairing: S/Mc Rating: R for language Summary: McCoy gets called to an unusual emergency. Acknowledgment: Special thanks to my beta Janet! All remaining errors are mine! Archive: My own site at http://www.syredronning.de , The Spock/McCoyote's Den, ASCEM, all else ask, please. *** "Thank you for coming so quickly, Doctor." "You've an emergency?...Spock, what the hell is this??" "I was just examining this device..." "...As you tumbled and fell on it?" "Indeed." "With your penis upfront?" "Please, Doctor, statistic calculations would tell you..." "...That no man has ever gotten his dick into any device by falling on it. Not on vacuum cleaners or pumps, not on metal wheel bearings, not on high-energy link -" "I assure you, it was an accident." "It's trapped to the hilt, Spock. And it won't come out because your ridges flared and got stuck in the metal wires. What device is this, anyway? It almost looks like a...toaster!" "I do not know what a toaster is, Doctor. I found this in my inspection of the historic material in freight hold eleven." "Then why does this invoice say 'Hot'n-Kwik, 128 credits including shipping, Risa Erotic World'?" "..." "And Lord, what a lot of credits for a simple toaster. They're ripping off their customers... Now, it looks as if we've got to get this flaring deflated. Any sound idea how to do it?" "Unfortunately, my bio-controls are unable to achieve this goal." "Then we should try the natural way." "I stopped this attempt when the discomfort became intolerable. I would suggest you disassemble the unit." "I'm a doctor, not an engineer - but I'll try. Why didn't you do this by yourself, Spock?" "I must have overlooked this possibility..." "Overlooked? Now that's unusual..." "Could you please simply unscrew it, Doctor?" "I'll do my best, Spock...It'll take some time, though, to get it free...Hold your breath, I'll pull now...Ahh there we go." "Thank you, Doctor. Now, if you -" "Now I'll treat the wounds, Spock. I won't leave here a single second earlier than that, so keep quiet." "..." "The ridges are especially...inflicted..." "Your treatment seems...efficient, though..." "Just a little more...then you're done..." "There is still a sore spot...on the very top..." "...Here...?" "Yes...and another on the lower side..." "...Gotcha..." ".................................." "Well, it looks like new now." "Indeed. Your help was much appreciated." "Perhaps you'd be interested to see my collection of...ancient kitchen tools some day?" "This sounds like an intriguing prospect, Doctor. I believe tomorrow evening would be a good time." "I'm looking forward, Spock. Goodnight." "Goodnight, Doctor." *** -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service. From ???@??? Mon Jan 05 01:37:04 2004 Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n3.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.86]) by emu (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1aDolB3Rr3NZFnx0 for ; Sun, 4 Jan 2004 22:36:19 -0800 (PST) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-12811-1073284577-stephenbratliff=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yahoo.