Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 30 Jan 2004 18:57:45 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: gojirob@aol.comendspam (Rob Morris) Title : Prophecy Boy Author : Rob Morris Contact : brightfame66(at)webtv(dot)net Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : BTVS, Mid-S6, The Infinite Paths Type : Multi-AU Xover Characters : BTVS Mid/Late S6 Regulars; Peter Kirk, Saavik Kirk (Ancient Destroyer Universe) Wesley Crusher (Starting Over Universe) Penny and Will Robinson, (First Family In Space AU) Cell from Dragonball Z Part : 7a/10 Rating : PG13, for concepts and humor, innuendo Recap : The Nerd Herd attempted to summon The Ancient Destroyer Of Worlds, and instead called the champion meant to oppose it, one Peter Kirk, son of the legendary 23rd Century starship captain, James T. Kirk. Giving up on quick rescue by his friend, the 24th Century time/space hopping traveller Wesley Crusher, Kirk turned to Buffy and her friends for aid in staying out of history's way. Meanwhile, the portals continued to open all over Sunnydale, unleashing many threats, including Buffy's greatest enemies, seemingly reborn. Kirk's own power was ably demonstrated when he casually dispatched and destroyed an alternate of the hellgod Glory. Buffy and Xander have begun recieiving some odd visions from souls contained inside Peter, victims of the menace he was born to oppose. Willow, attacked by an alternate of Faith's who became an ascended snake demon, accidentally sent both herself and Nagi-Faith to the alternate Earth called Japanimeopolis, wherein virtually all of the characters seen in Japanese animation are real and live side by side in a Tokyo that is roughly the size of Eurasia. Faith was restored to a remorseful human form by the Sailor Scouts, only to die of the stab wound Buffy had once given her. Now Mayor Wilkins, a fully-grown, fully-ascended demon, is coming at all of them. Back in Sunnydale, a worried Tara is sent away by Peter Kirk just in time. The Dark Willow of two months in the future has come back to cause Tara's death before she can be heartbroken by it, and to challenge Peter Kirk's power. Trying to get to and aid Kirk, Buffy and the Scoobies, joined by Angel and Kirk's distressed friend Penny Robinson, encounter The Master, apparently in the company of a vampiric Oz. The wild card in all this is a powerful refugee from Japanimeopolis, a bio-android named Cell. Summary : Cell's quest to regain his 'perfect' form continues; Peter Kirk Kirk--or is that we have already met Mr. Saavik Kirk? ----------------------------------------------------- Prophecy Boy by Rob Morris Chapter Seven - Tell Your Auntie-Monitor its all Beyond-her.... SUNNYDALE A Willow Rosenberg displaced by almost two months and a heart-rending tragedy now faced Peter Kirk, her soul slipping rapidly away in a potent mix of rage and dark magic. Her one goal was driven by ego. Confronting Kirk would show her power was now second to none. The other goal was more contradictory, to kill Tara McClay before she could 'leave' her. The darkness surrounding Willow made it nearly impossible for the telepathic Peter to read her thoughts. For Tara had indeed left Willow, once and for all, but it had hardly been by choice, save that of the vicious Warren's bullet. "S'matta, Petey? Not man enough to take me? Should I put on pointed ears, like the wife? Or just darken my skin and stick a microphone in my ear, like Mommy? Either way, make no mistake, I will kick your ass." Peter maintained the controlling power level he usually kept. Though his hair glowed golden and his eyes had gone green, he was not by any means a pure-blooded member of the Saiyen race. His own power could only ever be fully unleashed against one particular opponent, and while she arced in that direction, Willow was not a megameter-wide dragon with three heads. "Go back to your own time, Willow. If you really have gone all dark, then Buffy will surely be happy to bring you back down to Earth." Willow grinned, held up a stake and crumpled it to dust. "Been there. Done her. I kicked Slayer ass all over that shop. Just like yours is gonna be kicked. Course'---" She was now holding a pair of pants, such as might have fit a thirteen-year-old boy. "---your ass got a lot more than kicked, didn't it? Tell me, Mister Kirk, mister bad-ass champion, darker than dark, purer than pure, Maryier than Sue---did it hurt? Did you beg them to stop? And does it really hurt the same way when a woman forces herself on a man? But you weren't a man then, just a boy. In your own mind, you didn't become a man until you killed them all, right? Uber-vengeance--and what you did to Admiral Bunson? Gotta give you points on that." Peter Kirk did shake inwardly, at the thoughts of the brutality he had suffered, and that he had delivered back unto the conspirators at the head of Starfleet Command--a figurative head he had quite literally cut off, with the aid of his wife and Ambassador Sarek. It was all a bit much, the children directed by the pacifist diplomat to undertake the ultimate terrorist campaign. "At the very worst, some of it was necessary, Willow. Unlike what you're doing right now. I'm a Kirk. We do what's necessary, and then we move on. Ask Gary Mitchell, buried under a mountain by my father. Ask Governor Kodos, given a phasered vasectomy by my mother. Ask the Pirate-King of Orions. Ask Trelane, or Q, as he called himself last time. Ask my father's corrupt superiors in the Admiralty." Willow smiled, and said one word as she raised an open hand. "Bound." Immediately, Peter reverted to normal, and he fell to the ground, seeming quite human and looking very weak indeed. Where he struck the pavement, he stared in horror at the sight of his own blood. In a single floating stride, Willow walked over, picked him up, and belted him across the street. She looked at his smashed form with pride. "Ask for mercy." ---------------------- JAPANIMEOPOLIS UNIVERSE, THAT SAME MOMENT The over one-hundred foot snake came like lightning out of the sky towards Willow and - she was still getting her displaced mind around this part - the Sailor Scouts. Many of the menaces around them in this Eurasian-sized city of Tokyo were staples of the manga and anime genre back home that Willow knew about, Xander knew much better, and the Nerd Troika knew in the Biblical sense of the word. But this creature was from a universe much closer to Willow's own, at least as far as such concepts went. The thing above her had once been Sunnydale's uber-50's mayor, Dick Wilkins The Third--and second, and first, as well. In the history Willow lived, his century-long plan for Sunnydale had been thwarted during the critical birth period of his form as an ascended demon. "Hello again, little witch! How'd you unsquish yourself? Because that is a reaalllly neat trick, and I truly think you deserve some credit for that, before I completely undo it." Flame came from his mouth as he came ever nearer, and Willow was barely moved aside in time by Sailor Venus. "I didn't know he could do that." Jupiter shook her head. "What are you, Serena's cousin? You have powers! Use them!" Willow straightened up, stood firm and pulled Jupiter over. "Sailor Moon's a real airhead. But you are all total beeatches towards her. Speak that way to me again, and there won't even be drops of Jupiter left. Got me?" Shaking a bit, the schoolgirl warrior withdrew as Willow allowed her power to rise. It was beautiful. The kick was there, but not the drain and the resulting incoherence. There was so much more magic in this place, and while some of the native evils were more powerful than those she'd known, their entreaties to join them made Glory look subtle by comparison. Drenched in magic, Willow Rosenberg felt freer than she ever had. Like maybe she had even found home. She imitated an actor turned political activist. "Mistah Mayuh--eet's time for a total recall." Her energies rose in a great firewall, engulfing the serpent-mayor entirely, and affecting him not at all. Willow's jaw dropped. "Geez, this better not be one of those twenty-episode battles." Mars gulped. "Can I ask you to try again without getting hurt?" Willow looked at her hands. "That was all I had. He's too far ascended for me." The snake began to descend in an arc likely meant to eat them all in one bite. But a new player entered the field. "You are directed to leave my friends alone." Willow saw her. Her darker-than-dark hair was tied back in a ponytail, and sported the most severe eyebrows the witch could easily recall. They went well with her pointed ears. Her body was taut and muscled without a hint of bulk. The Mayor slowed his descent and spoke. "Have we been intro'ed? Because the youth I encounter is just as important to me as our future as they are as foodstuff. And hey--what is UP with those ears?" Saavik Brianna Kirk rose in the air, and held an opened hand in front of the serpent. "I am a Vulcan. That explains my ears." Energies erupted from her opened hand, burning the ascended Wilkins to ash in less than a second. "I am also the Rock Of Prophecy. Which explains that." She landed among the Sailor Scouts, and seemed concerned that Sailor Moon was perhaps injured. Willow couldn't help staring at the young champion. "She's--she's awesome. She's gorgeous." Sailor Uranus spoke with what sounded like practiced disappointment. "She's seeing someone. Since they were like, thirteen." Neptune nodded. "Liking boys I can understand, sorta. But being with anybody for that long since hitting puberty? That's just nuts." Willow walked over in a daze, meaning to just touch this impossiibly powerful woman--though where was a good question. Saavik turned and looked at her. "Is my husband well?" And suddenly Willow understood why the absent Peter Kirk was so obvious in his devotion to her. Her soul was the mirror of his, Heaven's aspect forged in Hell's fires. For the first time in as long as she could recall, Tara McClay slipped from her thoughts. Saavik raised an eyebrow. "I believe I asked you a question. About my husband's well-being?" Willow felt confused and perhaps even ashamed at her lapse over Tara, even if she believed Tara was seeing someone else. "Hmm? Ya mean Mister Perfect? He's just fine. Prolly off ending world hunger, back in my universe." "Illogical. You are from Earth's early 21st Century. World hunger will not be ended for over a century to come. My Peter would not wish to violate the timeline in so grotesque a manner." To paraphrase another fallen power-user, Willow found Saavik's plentitude of faith disturbing. "Look, I know ya love him, but I think its maybe making you a little blind, here. He's pushy in the extreme, okay?" Could she even get this living goddess to glance in her direction, wondered Willow? Was the ignorant gaze of Xander Harris a universal constant, when it came to matters of attraction? "Describe his supposed pushiness." Willow nodded, frustration piling on top of defensiveness. "Well, he blows into town, runs into an alternate version of an enemy we took down at like the hugest cost possible, and then he totally wipes Glory away before she can say 'Hellgod'. Battle of our lives, hello? Way to make us all feel like nothing, Petey!" Saavik's eyes glowed briefly. "You, Willow, always feel like nothing, because that is what your mother told you that you were without her guidance. My husband should not enter into such a sorry equation. Also, your recent thoughts touched upon the supposed ignorance of your best friend. My scans reveal that while you held this crush, you never once came out and told him of it directly. Be careful what charges you throw around. And at whom you aim them." "Is that supposed to be a threat?" "I am a Kirk, by adoption and by marriage. As a Kirk, I say--we do not make threats. We end them." A young man walked up to Saavik. He sported a moustache, and wore a set of casual clothes that contrasted with Saavik's near-uniform. "Hey, is everything okay?" Willow grew further annoyed as Saavik now entirely disregarded her. "Yes, Will. Tell Wesley we now have a lock on Peter's exact whereabouts." The man shook his head. "He left already. He got really concerned when he realized Pete hadn't left of his own free will. I just wanna know that Penny's alright." Willow made the connection, and looked at the man. "You're Will Robinson, right?" He smiled. "Yep. Guess you're from one of those places where our lives are a show, right?" Willow nodded. "I got a question for you. About Penny's pregnancy. Her health." Robinson seemed concerned. "Go ahead." Willow slapped Will across the face. "Did she bleed much when you raped her, you bastard?!" All around Rosenberg stood stunned, lost for speech. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- SUNNYDALE The Master cried out once more. "Unleash the razor-tooth bats!" The Master cried out once more again. "Unleash the razor-tooth bats!" The Master cried out once more with feeling. "Unleash the razor-tooth bats!" The Master gave it the old college try. "Unleash the razor-tooth bats!" The Master cried out rather pathetically. "Unleash the razor-tooth bats!" Finally, the vampire Buffy recognized from the nearly-successful Harvest walked up to the alternate Master. He looked kind of sheepish for a feral vamp. "Sir? Master? We---we don't have any razor-tooth bats." Buffy and Angel were not alone in expecting the vamp to be choked or dusted by an enraged Master. But things were so far off from what they seemed, narrative does not suffice to describe it. "Number Two--why don't we have any razor-tooth bats? Is it really asking so much, that when we face The Slayer, Angel, Xander, an apparently pregnant Cordelia who looks like the girl from Lost In Space, and some folks I just don't recognize at all--brilliant intelligence work, there, people--that we have on hand at least some FRICKIN' razor-tooth bats!?" Xander's stomach dropped. "Did he just say 'frickin'?" Angel looked over at him. "So what? What difference is it if he says 'frickin', just like Mike....oh my God." As Angel covered his face in apparent dismay, Buffy's confusion multiplied. "Why aren't they attacking?" Another lackey responded to the Master's frenzied queries. "Master, the wizard we hired to make the bats was back-logged. So no bats." "WHAT--what do we have?" The lackey gulped. "We have some slugs." The Master scratched his large head. "Do they--perchance--fly, or have large rows of razored teeth?" "No--no, sir." The Master threw up his arms in disgust. "Then its hardly a replacement for the bats, now is it!?" "Hey, can we get started here?" The Master shook an opened hand at Buffy. "Wait just a minute, Slayer. We may have to do a call-off." Buffy, Angel, and all the rest really wondered about that last statement. Tara saw the alternate of Willow's ex-boyfriend Oz, now a vampire. "Oz? How did this happen?" The vampire sneered, albeit in an Oz-like manner. "My name was once Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne. But the Master, whom I call Father, has freed me of human constraints. Of your kind, I am now scot-free!" The Master leaned over with pride. "So I call him Scott. He is my own son, and should I fall in battle for the forces of evil, he will succeed me." Scott turned and looked at him. "Whoa--whoa. Dad, we never discussed me taking over the organization. Suppose that's not what I want? Suppose I want something entirely different? I mean, I still have the band." The Master suddenly looked hesitant. He put his arm around Scott. "I kind of killed your band. Ya know, I was only looking out for your future. Son--" Scott pushed him off and then walked away. "As of right now--I have NO Sire!" "Yeah? Oh Yeah, little mister? Well, as of right now, I have no son---ummm--except for the many hundreds if not thousands of vampires I've created, and the millions they've potentially turned. Yah--yeah--except for all of them--no son. So there. Scott?" Number Two responded. "He walked off while you were clarifying, sir." The Master rolled his eyes. "Alright. Where's The Anointed One?" "He--he had another growth spurt, sir. Master--next to no one's buying him as the vampire child savior anymore. He's talking about hitting the road with Kenny from Highlander and Baby Doll from the animated Batman." Sighing loudly, the Master looked at Buffy. "Slayer, its official. I'm doing a call-off. It just isn't coming together, it isn't happening, I'm not here with it. We'll try another night." "Call-off this." The Master barely turned in time as Buffy's thrown stake sank into his shoulder. He stared at it with rage. He pointed and sneered. "WHAT is up with this?! You staked me! And after I did a call-off and everything. Slayer, what do you have, issues or something?" Except for the visiting Penny, all of Buffy's group started to respond to that. "She's been overworked..." "Dealing with coming back from Heaven..." "The Nerd Troika is like, really annoying.." "Our reunion after she was brought back was a complete disaster..." A specialized Buffy-glare silenced both the living and the undead. She then looked back at the weirdzo Master. "You Vampire--Me Slayer. What did you expect?" Another Buffy stepped out of the shadows. She wore a miniskirt that was one large print of Britain's flag, known by some as the Union Jack. She sported goofy, slightly oversize glasses. She spoke with an accent that to someone somewhere might actually sound British. "He was expecting me, Bay-Bee!!" Buffy now knew what Xander and Angel had been keeping from her. Her face sank. "Please tell me that you're not---" Raising up what looked like a designer stake, the British-type Buffy grinned. "Buffy Powers, International Slayer! Well, Master Of Evil. Rupert Exposition said you'd be here--sayyy--what's with that stake in your arm? Number Two getting a bit randy?" The Master pointed at Buffy Summers. "Ask the psycho-with-your-face, Slayer. She did this after I called a Call-Off!" Buffy Powers faced down Buffy Summers. "You violated the sanctity of the call-off? What sort of bizarro world that yet is easily explainable within thirty seconds is this place, anyway?" While this several-levels-beyond-bizarre exchange went on, Penny Robinson reached out with her awakened abilities to touch the mind of Peter Kirk. She had to sever the contact suddenly, when she saw only the side of his soul infected by his arch-nemesis, The Ancient Destroyer Of Worlds. Dawn saw her shudder, and caught her as she nearly fell over. "Penny?" "S'okay, Dawn. Sometimes its hard for me, being back on Earth, and then realizing that none of them are my Earth. I wish Will were here. I miss him. I wish he were here, just to hold my hand. I guess you think I'm odd, to depend on my little brother the way I do." Dawn heard the loving tones in Penny's voice, and abruptly reversed an opinion she had formed, and in her own way, she was no more correct than before, despite being more accurate. Her words, like so many of Dawn's lately, were untoward and gutting. "I think you're a pig." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Wandering around, looking for the two Jonathans, Andrew came upon a clearing. He heard voices that were oh so familiar. "Hello? Ummm--I'm Andrew--Tucker's brother?" One of the voices answered back. "We know. Come here, Andrew. Come be with us." Andrew did just that, and looked upon a crowd. On a podium, a young man asked him a question. "Doesn't this have both Zero Hour and Crisis On Infinite Earths beat all to Mordor?" Andrew nearly swooned. For in this crowd, he would surely be accepted. A man he passed smiled. "My brilliance is far greater than his--we don't need two Lex Luthors!" Andrew was now grinning a mile wide. He pointed at the smiler as he passed. "Let us call on the God Of Love, Ares, and the Priestess Of Peace, Callisto." And at that, he got a standing ovation from the crowd of him. The park was flooded with an endless group of Andrews, and the Andrew we know was at last happy. He held up his twenty-sided die piece. "Who's for omniversal AD&D?" There was much rejoicing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------- Near Spike's crypt, Warren watched with binoculars as the dimensional 'visitor' he had redirected towards the vampire moved in. "Threaten us, you Slayer-humping second-rate Angelus? I-do-not-think-so!" To be fair, Warren did not truly know that Spike had gone beyond the robotic and had since started in with the real Buffy. Like so much else in his soon-to-be ended life, the insult was pointless. But he hoped Spike would get the point--right through his heart. "The irony. I mean, this is real irony." Inside, Spike watched the tape of his soap opera. It was an old top-loader, but Buffy had only given it at Joyce's insistence via her will. It was one of the few items Spike really treasured, and it made him very glad that neither he nor any of Buffy's enemies were what took her, in the end. Though as they would all soon find out, that end was far from final. And this treasured old VCR, while made of heavy, tough metal, was no match for a small missle that burst through Spike's door and nearly took him in its flaming wake. Jumping behind his ruined couch for cover, Spike made an incorrect assumption about his attacker. "In't it enough you arseholes put this silicon leash in my skull? Now the Initiative is using sodding Surface To Air Missles? Didn't any of you little boys read what Mister Freud had to say about bullets and missles?" A filtered voice came through. "I don't know anyone named Freud. And I'm not with this Initiative. I was reliably told you threatened to twist my head off." Spike chuckled a bit from his hiding place. "Well, that does sound like me, I'll admit. But mate, this is a violent little world. I throw around threats like that all the time, just to get by. In other words, I meant no harm. If I mean harm, I'm in your face, trying to do harm. What do words mean? I mean, I can back some of them up. But what if I was pure loudmouth? Is it worth all this just for careless talk?" The attacker was not long in responding. "I understand getting by, doing what you have to. But I'm the sort of man for whom reputation is everything. If I let one idle threat go, it tends to mushroom into survivable but unneccessary grief. That's both a waste of my time and bad for business. So sorry, you die, the same as a man who actually took a shot at me. For my work, its the same difference." Spike got up, wanting to face things on his feet. "At least let me see you. Its nearly daylight, so I can't run. C'mon, you owe me the face of my death." The attacker moved closer, through the smoke and dust. "My face was disfigured during a bounty nab gone wrong, on a desert world. But most seem to know me by my helmet." The armored attacker was now visible, and if he looked like something out of a movie, this was no accident. Spike now knew the name, and that he had in fact threatened to twist his head off. In a manner of speaking. "Boba Fett. Oh, this is rich." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------- Down in the catacombs of what had been The Initiative, the Borg Queen made an observation. "I had thought this place was to be sealed off, its entirety filled up with cement. How is it we escaped here?" Adam looked around and shrugged. "Budget cuts. Let's just be glad its here." The Queen was having trouble regenerating, and actually looked annoyed. "I was not complaining of its presence. I was merely commenting on the apparent paradox. You do not have to take everything I say as a criticism." Adam sighed audibly. "I was not interpreting that in such a manner. Its just...wife, I had plans to present you with this planet as a gift. In this, I have failed." Jerkily but almost seductively, she sauntered over to him. "Yet you have not left or betrayed me. I hold that one fact dearly. Husband, let us leave this scarred alternate of your world. My people may find us in whatever transtemporal zone we inhabit." Adam looked at her with what could easily be taken for tenderness, and perhaps it was. "Agreed. But--Query: Scarred Alternate? In what way is this Earth-Dopple scarred?" The Borg Queen tilted her head. "You must pay better attention to initial scans, Husband. In what is referred to by native sentients as this nation's heartland, there is a large radioactive crater, the result of an induced plutonium explosion. High probability that this was a fear-inducing act, codex terrorist." "Its half-life readings?" "The scans indicated that this event occurred nearly seven standard Terran years ago." Adam considered this. "This is a decidedly non-standard deviation from the multiversal mean. Chiefly, the event you describe varies only in 47.4% of noteworthy alternate realms, wherein the perpetrator was forced to enact the explosion by hand, ending his life at that time. Otherwise, the variants are entirely negligible. Attempting synchronicity scattershot....eeehhh. That will take time for me to fully process." She snuggled close to him. "I love it when you attempt to calculate variables so far above your capacity. It shows your innate capacity to grow and evolve." He grinned as far as his face would allow. "I can feel some growth coming on as we speak." A third voice was heard from the shadows. "Excuse me... I really do hate to interrupt. But would you two happen to be highly advanced cybernetic organisms?" Adam looked at his wife, and the Borg Queen gave forth a reasoned answer. "To use the crude vernacular--Duh!" Cell emerged from the shadows, and his tail's end opened up like a hungry mouth. He said one word. "Perfect." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- The evil-consumed future version of Willow Rosenberg sent the limp form of Peter Kirk flying, until he hit a brick wall. "Got any last words, Petey?" She blasted him with fire. "Gonna call for your Mommy?" A light smile creased her veined face, and Willow called down lightning as Kirk tried to get up. "Gonna call for your Daddy?" Shocked at seeing him push himself up, she swept him around in a whirlwind, where he spun roughly seventeen full arcs before crashing to the ground. "Gonna ask to see your wifey one last time?" Behind her, Willow summoned up rows of straight-razored blades, intending perhaps to undo this challenger as she had undone the vile Warren in her own time. "Last chance for last words, Mister Rock Of Prophecy, your-feces-don't-stink, sir!" Willow felt the blades behind her disperse back into air. She saw the darkness storm she had summoned fall away. The fire that had been at her fingertips went out. She saw a renewed Kirk raise a fist before her world went out. Standing above her, Kirk held the edge of his palm inches from her nose, intending to end the future threat forever. "You couldn't kill Glory, Willow. And you thought you had a chance against me?" A very deadly part of Peter Kirk was now in evidence. For a portion of his soul was infested by the very creature he was destined to destroy. Another part was equally primal, from the ancient beast that would have been the champion against Ghidorah, had it lived. Moreover, a brutal life had shaped a boy with the heritage of a family that cut its teeth by conquering the mysteries of the final frontier. "Well, you were wrong. Dead wrong. Say hello to Glory for me." The hand came down, but all it smashed against was pavement. Snarling, Peter Kirk yelled out. "Where did she go?!" The answer was immediate. "I restored her to her proper time. Pete--it looked like you were going to kill her." The young man before Peter had been described many ways. Peter Kirk was grateful for the presence of his best friend. He sunk to his knees, the dark tide threatening to drown him. "Wes--please help me." Wesley Crusher was at a loss of how to do this. But like the crew of legends he once served with and would serve with again, he would not rest until he found the way. TBC... -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------ "Destiny is no guarantee of survival" - Aaron Sisko, facing the battle of Wolf 359 against King Ghidorah, Ancient Destroyer -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! 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