Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 31 Jan 2004 10:53:31 -0800 In: alt.startrek.creative From: daria@ameritech.net (Daria) Title: Loss Author: Daria Contact: Daria@ameritech.net Series: ENT Part: 8/8 Rating: [PG-13] Codes: Tu, R, A Summary: When an away mission goes wrong, a friendship is damaged, Archive: ASC* Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, so naturally I'm not making any money off them. Please do not link directly to this story without asking. Feedback welcomed. *** Trip strode onto the bridge, his eyes immediately drawn to the viewscreen. "What is that thing, Captain?" he asked. "That, Trip, is the Nexal Trading Station." "The what?" Archer grinned. "The Nexal Trading Station. The planet below us is Nexal. This is their orbital space station. It also serves as a trading post for the sector. We've been in contact with them." "And?" The anticipation was clear. "Yes, Trip. You can visit. We'll set up a schedule, and let everyone have a chance to stretch their legs. They have a mass transit shuttle system to the planet, if anyone wants to visit the surface. It looks like a great place to visit, lots of natural features, Class Minshara, and very Earth-like. T'Pol is setting up a duty roster and shore leave schedule." Trip moved to the tactical station to view the information on the station displayed there. Obligingly, Reed slid his chair back to give Trip easier access to the terminal, while continuing to study the schematics himself. Trip said something Archer couldn't hear, and Reed chuckled. From the corner of his eye Archer watched the two officers. Over the last month there had been some awkward moments, and an initial period of uncomfortable over-politeness, but they now seemed to be working with the same efficiency as before their ill-fated away mission. On occasion Archer had even overheard them laughing together. After the discussion in his dining room, now nearly a month ago, the relationship between the two had seemed to improve almost immediately. Whether that was due to letting them return to duty, or as a result of the forced conversation, Archer had no way of knowing. He suspected it was a combination of the events. Trip had remained somewhat subdued, and seemed slightly less impulsive. In Archer's opinion this was not a negative thing; he saw the change as sign of growth in his friend. Malcolm remained as inscrutable as ever. The display of emotion in the dining room had not, to Archer's knowledge, been repeated. Things seemed to be going well. And yet... Archer remained concerned. Something didn't seem quite right to him, something that he couldn't put his finger on. It troubled him. However, since he couldn't identify the problem, he let it go for now. He was simply happy to be able to give his crew a much-needed break. They deserved it. "Okay, everyone," Archer said, interrupting the hum of conversation on the bridge, the bulk of which was unrelated to ship's business. "Coordinate with T'Pol for your visit time slots. In the meantime, let's try to get a little work done today." Even as he tried to use a stern tone, Archer found he couldn't keep a grin off his face. He was looking forward to the break in routine too. *** Archer watched the interaction from a distance. It was a private conversation, and it wasn't his right to eavesdrop, but he couldn't squelch his curiosity. He saw Trip throw up his hands in surrender and stalk to the food counter while Reed remained where he was, his expression never changing. Unable to resist, Archer walked over to Trip who was standing at the buffet, staring morosely at the breakfast choices. "So what's wrong now?" Archer asked sympathetically. Trip shook his head, putting his hands on his hips. "I just asked Malcolm if he wanted to go over to the station with me. Of course he said no." "Why?" "I don't know. He has to clean all the weapons, single-handed. He has to review Starfleet's newest protocols on torpedo maintenance. Rearrange all the tuning spanners into alphabetical order by size. Who knows? I can't figure him out, Captain. He doesn't want to do anything, ever. I want to go over to the station, and see what planet-side tours they might have available, but he isn't interested." "Oh," Archer said, unable to think of anything more profound. He didn't point out what was rather obvious to him-- Reed's behavior was pretty normal, at least for him. Malcolm had always been a workaholic, and Archer wasn't surprised that he was trying to make up for the duty time he had missed. "I just want to go on a hike, or something... there are some beautiful falls we could visit, and even do some rock climbing." "I don't know what to tell you, Trip." "I just don't have anything to do." Trip was now dangerously close to sulking. Archer snorted. "Why? Because we haven't damaged the ship, or any of the crew, lately? I happen to know that the plasma ducts could use a good scrubbing, and there isn't any reason not to start the coil realignment. For that matter, aren't there some new Starfleet protocols YOU should be reviewing?" "I'm sure I'll find a way to amuse myself," Trip said hastily. "I'll leave Malcolm alone, too. Now that I think about it, I haven't spent much time with Travis lately. I wonder if he'd like to go visit the planet." As Trip picked up his breakfast and walked away Archer felt a wave of sympathy for Mayweather. As he finished collecting his own breakfast, Archer glanced over at Reed. Malcolm was studying a padd and picking absently at his breakfast. Archer debated taking a moment to speak with him. He knew how uncomfortable that sort of casual interaction with the captain made Reed. Still, Archer decided, it was HIS ship, and if he wanted to talk to an officer in the mess hall, he would. "Mind if I sit down?" he asked. Reed looked up, startled. He had been so lost in his work that he hadn't noticed Archer's approach. He scrambled to his feet. "Of course not, sir." "Please sit down, Malcolm. I was just going to finish my coffee, and thought I'd do it out here. It's a beautiful planet, isn't it?' Archer gestured at the sphere visible below the orbital station. It really was uncannily Earth-like in appearance. T'Pol's last report had indicated that eighty-seven percent of the crew had scheduled a visit to either the trading station or the planet. "Plan to visit?" "I was considering seeing if Travis was interested in a short trip, but he has bridge duty tonight." "Too bad," Archer said sympathetically. Reed seemed unaware Archer knew he had declined to visit the planet with Trip. Well, Malcolm was entitled to take his shore leave with whomever he chose. And, quite clearly, he didn't plan to travel with Trip. Still, Archer couldn't resist commenting. "Trip mentioned wanting to visit the planet." "Yes, he said something about that," Malcolm replied absently, and then seemed to get Archer's point. He added, "Commander Tucker can be a bit... tiring.. on shore leave. I was hoping for something a little calmer." 'And Travis is calmer?' Archer thought, but didn't say. "Well, I hope something can be worked out, Malcolm. It would be a shame to miss the chance to visit." A thought occurred to him. "What about the trading station? It might be a good chance to pick up some souvenirs." "Yes, sir. It probably would be a good opportunity. Perhaps I'll do that," Reed replied politely, and Archer knew there was no point in pursuing the conversation any further. "Have fun, if you go." Archer rose. "I need to get some work done, so I can visit later." Reed, who had also risen, nodded. "I hope you enjoy yourself, Captain." *** Reed watched the captain leave, and drew a deep breath, trying to relax. He was tense so much of the time now. The last month had been a challenge. At first, his attention had been focused almost solely on duty-related issues. It had been aggravating to be limited to three hours a day, when there was so much that needed tending to. Although Ensign Baylo was competent enough, he lacked Reed's strict attention to detail, and there were a myriad of minor things that needed Reed's personal attention. It had been a relief when he'd finally been allowed to return to full duty two weeks ago. It was only in the last few days had Reed finally felt that things were back to normal in the armory. He flexed his fingers, grateful for the ability to do so. The air splint, the last physical reminder of the experience on Dorlog, had been removed three days ago. He had tried to pester the doctor into removing it earlier, but Phlox had been unimpressed by his arguments and had insisted on six full weeks of immobilization-- even then the doctor had mumbled something about the impatience of humans. It wasn't the task of returning the armory to normal, or even the inconvenience of trying to work without the use of his dominant hand, that had been the most challenging aspect of the last few weeks. It had been trying to maintain a facade of normality in his interactions with Trip. Reed had no problem working with the man, but Trip, in his desperate desire to put things right again, wouldn't give him a moment's peace. He sought Reed out constantly. Trip wouldn't send a subordinate to the armory for even the most mundane of duties, but took care of each minor repair personally. Worse, he insisted on dealing directly with Reed, not any of the armory crew. It was annoying and took Reed away from more important duties, but so far he had humored the engineer. He tried to pretend it wasn't bothering him, but in reality Reed didn't want to spend any extra time with Trip. He had promised himself he would work as closely as needed with the engineer, and he did, even to the point of allowing his precious time to be wasted to accommodate Trip. Off-duty was another matter; Reed needed space from his crewmate. His imagination had been stretched coming up with creative excuses to avoid the engineer, and the act had to fool the captain as well. Reed was well aware that Archer was keeping a close eye on both of them, and the last thing he wanted was to prompt another forced 'conversation'. While he had to admit the last one had been effective, he wasn't eager to repeat the experience, so he worked hard to hide from both Trip and the captain the fact that he still was acutely uncomfortable around the engineer. *** "Hoshi, do women really like stuff like this? I mean, really like it? Or is it just something you're supposed to like, so you do?" Trip asked, holding up a rather gaudy piece of cloth. She came over and took it from him, studying it. "Some do," she replied noncommittally. "A lot of help you are," he mumbled, moving restlessly to the next table. Hoshi sighed. He had been like this since leaving Enterprise. She knew he didn't really want to be shopping with her; he would have preferred something more active. She had been surprised when he'd asked her if he could accompany her to the station. "Commander, is there anything in particular you'd like to see? There are a lot of other shops here you know. There might be something that interests you." Trip looked chagrined. "Am I being that bad? Sorry. I know you want to look at this stuff. I'll look too. Who knows, I might learn something. Like, how would you wear this?" He picked up an item of apparel that Hoshi couldn't identify and held it up, turning it around several times, trying to figure out which end was up. Hoshi laughed. "Really, sir, I thought you'd be going down to the planet." Trip's face darkened for an instant, and then he plastered an obviously fake grin on his face. "Nah. I didn't feel like going alone. The captain was busy, Malcolm claimed he was busy, and I couldn't find Travis." "Oh. That's too bad," Hoshi said, but she was puzzled. She was sure Travis had mentioned that he was planning a visit to the station, and she thought she'd glimpsed him a few minutes earlier in a shop that sold rock-climbing gear. As the pair of Starfleet officers moved on, Trip maintained a running commentary on everything they saw. She wasn't listening to him, her attention focused on the words of the people around her. The Nexallian language had a wonderful singsong quality, and the tempo actually affected the meaning. She was starting to get the gist of it. Her focus was interrupted when she heard another language coming from behind a booth. She was so immersed in Nexallian that it took her several seconds to realize she was hearing English. Curious, she left Trip examining several rather odd creatures at a Nexallian pet shop and went around the corner. "Really, sir, wonderful cliffs. You should consider it. With the right equipment, we could have a great time!" There was a chuckle. "I'm not sure I'm ready to resume rock climbing just yet." Hoshi rounded the corner of the booth, and nearly collided with Travis. Malcolm stood next to him. There was a moment of surprised silence. "I thought you were staying on board, Lieutenant," Hoshi finally offered. Both Travis and Reed shifted uncomfortably. "Ummmm, yes, well--" Reed was interrupted before he could manage something intelligible. "Hoshi, what do you think of this little guy?" Trip came around the booth's corner carrying a small, furry, and frightened looking creature. Spotting Malcolm and Travis, he halted abruptly. The look of surprise might have been funny under different circumstances, Hoshi thought fleetingly. There was another uncomfortable silence before Trip spoke again. "I thought you were too busy to leave the ship, Malcolm." There was a hint of accusation in Trip's voice. "Yes...well... I finished working and reconsidered. The captain suggested I should make time for a visit, and Travis hadn't come over here yet, so I was able to convince him to accompany me." Reed's face had turned red and Travis had the good grace to look embarrassed. The excuse was transparent to Hoshi, and she knew it must be to Trip as well. She glanced over to see his reaction. There was a puzzled, hurt look in his eyes. 'Will this never end?' she wondered. Malcolm and Trip had seemed to be getting along so well. "Yeah, well, I'm glad you could make it. There are some nice shops down that way." Trip pointed the way he and Hoshi had come. "Come on, Hoshi. Isn't there some other stuff you wanted to see?" "Uh, yes! Lots of other things, and I'm running out of time. So if you'll excuse us, Lieutenant. Travis." Hoshi hurried after Trip who was already several meters away, leaving Reed and Travis looking abashed. *** "I guess that's all. I can't carry any more, and even if I could I'm running out of money." Travis struggled to balance the packages in his arms. "I think I've found a gift for everyone on the Horizon." Reed, who was carrying only one small parcel, reached up and relieved Travis of one of the larger bundles. "I suppose that would be one of the drawbacks of being a boomer. With practically everyone on board being family or close friend, I imagine it gets rather expensive around holiday time." "Yes, but I don't mind." Travis paused. "In fact, it's funny, but this place has reminded me of home." "How so?" Reed asked, knowing that Travis was referring to the Horizon when he said home. Reed wondered how a huge, crowded orbital station was reminding the helmsman of a tiny cargo ship. "Same sort of feel, somehow. Maybe the fact that it's so self-contained. Even with the transits to their planet, you get the feeling of isolation and self-sufficiency. Do you ever miss home, Lieutenant?" Reed shook his head. "I do," Travis said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I don't mean I'm desperately homesick, or anything like that, but I do miss the kids I grew up with, sometimes. We did everything together-- ate together, played together, and went to school together. Everything. We were all we had, so we relied completely on each other. When I first joined Starfleet, I missed that a lot." He brightened. "In that way, Enterprise reminds me of home." Reed glanced sharply at Travis. Was the ensign trying to tell him something? Make a point? If he was, it was well disguised because at the moment Travis was looking wistfully at his packages, seeming to assure himself that he did, in fact, have enough gifts for everyone on the Horizon. "I suppose it's time we returned to the ship," Reed said, still thinking about Travis's words. "I guess. I'm on the next duty shift, since I switched with Marlowe to come over here. You?" Reed shook his head. "No, I have the one after that. I did a shift this morning." He didn't mention that he had rearranged his shifts in an attempt to avoid encountering Trip on the station-- a futile effort. Remembering the expression on Trip's face as he had brushed past them, Malcolm felt a pang of regret. They walked back to the Enterprise's docking port in silence, making frequent stops to rearrange the unwieldy packages in Travis' arms. They didn't speak. Travis was obviously thinking about his family and friends, and Reed was mulling over Travis's words. The helmsman spoke so fondly of his childhood friends, who had grown into his adult friends, that Reed felt a twinge of envy. He had had childhood friends, but not many, and none of those friendships had lasted into adulthood. He had never been easy to get to know, and by the time he was in secondary school most people had stopped trying. But then he had come aboard the Enterprise; unlike so many of his 'acquaintances' on Earth, the crew had simply refused to leave him to his solitary self. Even when he had rejected their initial overtures, they had persisted. He had more friends now then at any other point in his life. And that didn't even count Trip. *** Reed helped Travis wrangle the pile of packages into the ensign's cabin. Leaving Travis to sort the treasures, Reed headed for his own quarters, still contemplating Travis's words. For the last month, while trying to maintain the pretense of normality, he had adamantly refused to think about how much he missed the friendship with Trip. It had been easier not to think about it. Until today he hadn't even known if Trip had noticed any difference between the real camaraderie they'd shared before, and the facsimile that had replaced it. The engineer's hurt expression had made it clear that Trip had, indeed, noticed. Reed didn't know if he could ever be friends with Trip again. He didn't know if he would ever fully trust the other man, and he hadn't wanted to try to resurrect the friendship, unwilling to risk being hurt again. But Travis's words had forced him to reflect on his decision. He'd been pointedly reminded what he had lost. Reed reached his quarters, but didn't enter them. Instead, he stood outside the closed doors, thinking. He might not ever again be able to consider Trip a trusted friend... but wasn't it at least worth a try? Reed thought that maybe, just maybe, he could take a first step. He turned away from the security of his cabin, and walked back down the corridor, back the way he had just come. *** Trip held a padd with the list of chores the engineering section needed to complete over the next week displayed. He'd been staring at the padd for the better part of an hour, and he hadn't made any progress in assigning the duties, probably because he wasn't really seeing the padd at all. His mind was still on the trading station. He'd been shocked to encounter Reed and Mayweather. He had truly believed that both were still aboard Enterprise. Seeing them on the station, and heard Reed's mumbled excuse had hammered home the realization that the improvement in the working relationship with Malcolm didn't extend beyond duty hours--it had hit him hard. But deep down hadn't he had known that? He had sensed Malcolm's hesitancy to socialize with him, but rather than be patient he had ignored the warning signs and redoubled his efforts. He'd been convinced that if he tried hard enough he could make things right again; he had denied the truth enough to imagine he was succeeding. Now it was patently clear that he had been fooling himself. They were no closer to being friends now then they'd been a month ago. He had to face the possibility that the situation might not ever change. He looked at the padd in his hand again without interest, but he knew T'Pol needed the duty roster. He worked to push the events of the day out of his mind and to focus on his work. He was making an adjustment to the alpha shift schedule when the door chimed, startling him. He wasn't expecting anyone. He hit the door control, and it slid open to reveal Malcolm. Trip stood up, silent. This was the first time in six weeks that Malcolm had stopped by his quarters. "I..." Malcolm cleared his throat. "I understand you'd like to go down to the planet. I was wondering if you still wanted company?" They locked eyes, blue ones meeting gray squarely, and there was real communication. Trip nodded. "Well then, I better see T'Pol about that schedule," Reed said brusquely. Without another word he turned on his heel and strode away. Trip stared after him, taken aback by Reed's abrupt departure. A smile spread across his face. Whistling a little, he went back into his quarters to pack what he needed for the journey. The End ********* -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service. From ???@??? Sun Feb 01 01:13:24 2004 Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n7.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.91]) by kite (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1aNaNk1ak3NZFkD0 for ; Sat, 31 Jan 2004 22:09:21 -0800 (PST) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13097-1075615560-stephenbratliff=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yahoo.