Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 8 Feb 2004 07:42:51 -0600 In: alt.startrek.creative From: "PineTrees" P1neTrees at Yahoo dot Com I'm reposting this to correct a grammatical error I made *after* I got it back from my beta. Archivists, please use this version. Title: Ceremonial Duties - All Hands Author: PineTrees Contact: P1neTrees at Yahoo dot Com Series: TOS Part: 1/1 Rating: G Codes: K, S, Mc, Sc, Su, U, Rand, Riley Archive: ASC Summary: this is the first in a series of vignettes collectively called Many thanks to Jungle Kitty for a very thorough, helpful beta. Ceremonial Duties: All Hands ----------------------------------- The crew of the USS Enterprise was subdued and somber. The formerly spirited, happy band of brothers and sisters walked the halls of the ship with their heads down, not willing to look each other in the eye. Almost all of them were embarrassed or humiliated in one way or another. It was a few minutes before 1700 hours, three days after the PSI 2000 incident, and one day after the memorial service for Joe Tormolen, the junior lieutenant who had killed himself with a knife while under the influence of the virus that had infected the crew and stripped them of their inhibitions and dignity. Most of crew was assembled in the hangar deck, as Mr. Spock had instructed. Chairs had been neatly placed throughout the deck, facing a podium set up near the bay doors. Almost 350 people were present, with the remainder running operations that could not be neglected for the duration of the meeting. It was never a good thing when Spock announced these meetings. On most ships the good guy - bad guy routine was firmly established, with the captain being the remote, cold type and the first officer being the approachable, friendly one you could talk to about your problems. On the Enterprise, the normal roles were somewhat reversed. Nobody mistook Captain Kirk for their pal, but he had a way of putting people at ease in most situations. Since Mr. Spock had made the announcement about the all-hands meeting, it meant the captain was unhappy about something. Mr. Spock stood behind the seated crew, waiting for the captain. Janice Rand stood by the podium, behind and to the left of it. She looked out over the assembled crew as if searching for someone. Her search ended when she saw Kevin Riley seated in the middle of the room. She caught his eye and gave him a hard stare, clearly implying she knew what was going to happen, that it was not good at all, and that whatever it was, it was entirely his fault. Riley swallowed nervously in response. At precisely 1700, Spock called the crew to attention, and Captain Kirk strode to the podium. He looked out over the assembled crew with a distinctly unfriendly expression, paused for several seconds, and finally said, "As you were." "Lieutenant Kevin Riley, front and center." A bead of sweat appeared on Riley's forehead. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and hustled to the front of the room. Kirk watched him, with a rare but recognizable, 'I'm gonna nail somebody's hide to the wall' look on his face. When Riley reflexively went to 'At Ease', Kirk actually raised an eyebrow, in a fair imitation of his first officer. Riley snapped back to attention. A titter erupted from the back of the room but was quickly silenced when Kirk turned his gaze in that direction. Kirk turned back to Riley, and then shook his head as if gravely disappointed. "Lieutenant Kevin Thomas Riley, you are here today to face the consequences of your actions of three days ago." Kirk paused, and Riley turned a deathly pale shade of white. The bead of sweat rolled down his brow to his cheek. "Specifically, you are charged with forcing everyone on board this ship to listen to the worst rendition of any song, ever. Over, and over, and over, and over again." Laughter broke out from the back of the room again, but this time Captain Kirk didn't squelch it. "Lieutenant Riley, how do you plead?" Riley stood with his mouth hanging open in surprise. He wanted to respond, but couldn't think of a single thing to say. Kirk looked towards the back of the room again and addressed the laughing crew there almost conversationally. "NOW he loses his voice." The laughter spread throughout the rest of the crew, and a chant started growing from the back of the room. Riley quickly glanced back and was not surprised to see Mr. Scott's engineers leading it. "GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!" "You strayed into the wrong engine room, Mister!" DeSalle yelled. "Hang 'im, Captain!" rang out a very distinctive Scottish brogue. "Only if he pleads 'not guilty', Scotty," Kirk replied. The glare was gone, replaced by a much more amiable expression. He turned back to Riley. "Lieutenant? We're waiting." Riley was no fool. "Guilty as charged, Sir!" "Wonderful. I'm absolutely delighted. Mr. Spock!" "Captain," Spock replied gravely. "What is the punishment for the crime of which this officer stands convicted?" Spock lifted an eyebrow as if actually considering the question. "There is no regulation specifically addressing this offense, Captain. But Starfleet regulations do grant broad discretionary powers to the commanding officer." "Then how lovely that I was going to use them anyway, Mr. Spock," Kirk smiled. "Lieutenant Nyota Uhura, front and center!" Uhura strode to the front of the room and came to attention. "Lieutenant Uhura, in your expert opinion, is there any hope for this miscreant? Can you teach him how to sing?" This brought Uhura up short. "That's asking a lot, Captain." Kirk rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. "Yes...it is, isn't it..." "And that really would be punishing Uhura, not Riley, Captain," McCoy chimed in. Fresh laughter erupted from the room as Uhura nodded in agreement. "Point well taken, Doctor. Mr. Scott!" "Aye Sir!" "What is the alternative punishment?" "HANGING, Cap'n!" Kirk shrugged, than turned back to Riley almost apologetically. "I'm very sorry, Kevin, but I'm afraid we're going to have to..." "Sir!" Riley protested. "Well, do you have a better idea, Lieutenant?" Riley was speechless. In the meantime, Rand rummaged around in the box next to the podium, looking for something. She gave an audible "humph" of satisfaction as she found what she was looking for, and then she took out a long coil of rope from the box. Apparently, she had been a girl scout at some point in her life, because she adeptly began fashioning one end of the rope into a noose knot, cheerily humming "Kathleen" while she worked. Kirk glanced over at her. "Jumping the gun a bit, aren't you, Yeoman?" Rand looked up, surprised. "A good yeoman always anticipates the captain's commands, Sir," she replied. Then she went back to humming "Kathleen" and continued her work on the rope. "Well, Mr. Riley, since she's got everything ready for you, would you mind stepping over..." "SIR!" Riley exclaimed again, finally getting his voice back. Kirk quieted and appraised him for a moment, considering. Then, apparently taking pity on him, he said, "Perhaps Lieutenant Uhura would reconsider if she was asked nicely." Riley devoured the suggestion like a chubby labrador with an hour-late dinner. "PLEASE, please, Lieutenant Uhura, would you kindly teach me how to sing?" Uhura shook her head again, and once again fresh laughter rang out. "Maybe an inducement would change her mind, Mr. Riley," Kirk offered. "He can't bribe me, Sir. I've got first dibs on his possessions after he takes his punishment like a man. Assuming, of course, that he ever does so." Uhura batted her eyes demurely. That comment took Kirk by surprise and he broke into a big grin. He struggled to keep his composure, leaning on the podium with his head on his arms for a minute. In the meantime, Uhura just continued to bat her big eyes, looking completely innocent. Finally Kirk tried again. "Lieutenant Uhura. I would consider it a personal favor if you were to do your very best to help rehabilitate this...young officer...so we could keep him rather than hang him." "Well, Captain..." Uhura said, tapping her foot as she considered his request. "Otherwise, we'd have to go all the way back to Starbase 11 and find a replacement for him..." "That's true, Sir..." "Please?" Kevin pleaded. Uhura came to a decision. "Okay, Riley...but be warned. One missed lesson and you..." But she couldn't finish. Riley fell to the floor and started kissing her boots, and she was overcome with laughter along with the rest of the crew. After everyone calmed down, Kirk dismissed the two from the front of the room. His head held high, Riley hustled past his laughing, smiling, crewmates. Some of them patted him on the back as he went by. Kirk started on his next victim. "Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, front and center!" Sulu jogged to the front of the room, came to a halt, and stood at perfect attention. He had a huge expectant grin on his face. Kirk leaned on the podium, clasping his hands loosely as he regarded Sulu for a moment. "Sulu, Sulu, Sulu..." he said, shaking his head. "We had such hopes for you, didn't we, Mr. Spock?" "He was a most promising officer, Captain." "Was, Mr. Spock. But now..." Kirk sighed. Then he straightened up and read the charges. "Lieutenant Hikaru 'D'Artagnon' Sulu. You are charged with over-exuberance, letting your imagination run away with you, running with a sharp object, and pointing said sharp object at your commanding officer, among others." As Sulu did his best to look properly chastised, Kirk continued. "I'd also include the fact that you called your commanding officer 'Richelieu', but, luckily for you I'm above that sort of thing." Sulu tried not to laugh and failed. "Guilty as charged, Captain." Kirk snapped at him. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant, I don't recall asking you to speak." He turned to Spock again. "Broad discretionary powers on this one as well, Mr. Spock?" "Of course, Captain," Spock reassured him. Kirk beamed in satisfaction and faced the crew again. "Crewmen Sorrelli and O'Lear, front and center!" The two men Sulu had chased down the hall with a sword hurried up to the front of the room and came to attention. "You have both heard the charges against Lt. Sulu. What is your verdict?" "Guilty, Captain!" they chorused. "Are you prepared to carry out the punishment?" "Yes, Sir!" Kirk turned towards Rand. "Do you have it, Yeoman?" "Almost, Sir." Rand was rummaging around in the box again. Still looking at Rand, Kirk addressed Sulu. "Not to make you feel threatened or anything, Mr. Sulu, but she ran your post as well as she runs the rest of the ship." This statement was greeted with a big round of applause from the crew and not a few whistles. Rand looked up at the crew, gave them a beatific smile, and did a very nice curtsey followed by a sweeping bow. This prompted more applause and much louder whistles. Rand started waving grandly to her new fans, royal style, palm facing inward. Eventually, Kirk interrupted her. "Um, Yeoman...?" "Hmm? Oh, yes, Sir." Rand abandoned the box and grabbed the package she had ready all along. She brought it over to Sulu and said "Here you go, Mr. Sulu. Put it on." It appeared to be a uniform tunic. "Right here?" he asked her. "What, you're modest, Sir?" She turned to the crew. "Since when?" she asked, in a loud stage whisper. Then she turned back to Sulu. "Now, Sir, as we all know, one of the captain's strictest rules is that all personnel must remain fully dressed unless they're in their quarters." Fresh laughter rang out with that comment, and Kirk's amiable look disappeared. "But I'm sure he'd be willing to make an exception for you today. Right, Captain?" Kirk muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "smartass" and then said, "Proceed, Lieutenant." Sulu quickly stripped off his shirt and pulled the fresh tunic on. When he did, he saw it had been modified somewhat. A large red bulls eye adorned the front, and the logo "Stab Me" was written in bold letters on the back. Rand grabbed a pair of big rubber swords from the box and gave them to Sorrelli and O'Lear. "Mr. Sulu, since I'm feeling generous today, I'll give you a ten-second head start," Kirk said. But Uhura jumped in. "May I have the honors, Captain? Since I have a personal interest in this one but don't like running with sharp objects." "Certainly, Lieutenant." "Okay, Sulu, get going..." she said. Sulu just looked at her, confused. "Ten!" Uhura called out. The two crewmen crouched, ready to go on her mark. "Nine!" Sulu got the picture. He started running. "Eight! Oh, heck, go get him, guys!" O'Lear bellowed out a loud war cry, and he and Sorrelli sprinted after Sulu. All three of them ran through the crowd, overturning chairs and dodging crewmen. Sulu looked over his shoulder, and altered course for the door at top speed. Kirk had a paternal smile. "It's good to see young people taking such an interest in athletics," he mused, as Sulu and his pursuers sprinted out of the hangar deck. After a few minutes, all three of them returned. Sulu looked somewhat disheveled while Sorrelli raised both hands clasped over his head in a victorious cheer. The crew broke into fresh applause and laughter as Sorrelli and O'Lear escorted Sulu back to his seat. "Good chase, Sir," Sorrelli said. Sulu smiled good-naturedly in reply, and the two crewmen left and headed back to their own chairs. Mr. Spock suddenly broke the spell. 'Crew, Atten-shun!" When Spock gave an order like that, the crew listened. They stopped chattering and laughing, stood, and straightened. The captain stood tall and proud but did not lose his smile. "Doctor Leonard McCoy, front and center, please." McCoy strode to the front of the room, a surprised and slightly worried expression on his face. He almost stood at attention - he was very straight, but fidgeted a bit with his hands, like he was nervous without a scanner or laser scalpel to hold. The captain's voice rang out, filling the hangar deck despite the fact that he wasn't using any amplification equipment. "I think we all know who really pulled us out of the fire a few days ago," he said, gazing out over the crew as he spoke. "Dr. McCoy hasn't been part of our crew for very long yet. But his determination and brilliance were amply demonstrated this week." Kirk paused and looked directly at Riley. "Without him, restarting the engines wouldn't have mattered, because Life Support or some other critical function would have been next. He saved us all." The whole crew understood what Kirk was saying. Not your fault, Mr. Riley. Kirk looked down at the paper he had on the podium and began to read. "To all present, let it be known," he called. "This is to certify that the Commanding Admiral, Starfleet Command, has awarded the Legion of Honor to Lieutenant Commander Leonard H. McCoy, M.D., for extraordinary performance under extremely adverse conditions." The doctor had not lost his surprised expression, but now pride and pleasure washed over his face as well. Kirk continued reading. "Due to his efforts, a heretofore undiscovered virus that would have led to the destruction of the USS Enterprise was arrested. Dr. McCoy demonstrated exceptional ability and brilliance under extreme duress. His performance in isolating and eradicating the virus saved the ship and the lives of his crewmates. His extraordinary efforts and accomplishments are indicative of the finest tradition of Starfleet Medical branch, and reflects great credit upon himself, the USS Enterprise, and Starfleet. "Signed, Captain James T. Kirk, Commander, USS Enterprise, and endorsed, Admiral Heihachiro Nogura, Commanding Admiral, Starfleet." Kirk left the podium and walked over to face McCoy. Rand met him there, with the final item from the box. It was a small medal case. Rand opened it, and Kirk took the medal out of the case, carefully pinned it to the doctor's tunic, and stepped back. McCoy was not a military man by trade or by nature. He had advanced in the fleet because of his skill as a doctor and ability to inspire and manage other doctors and nurses. It was well known that he had never placed much stock in medals, and was uncomfortable with most military formality and ceremonial duties. So his response to this one came as a surprise. McCoy actually saluted his captain, in an unpracticed but determined manner. Kirk was startled, but recovered quickly. He came to attention and returned the salute with precision and snap that would do a cadet proud. Then he shook the doctor's hand. McCoy did not thank the captain but asked a question instead. "Why me, Jim?" he said softly, his voice a little thick. "You saved the ship with that cold-start theory." Kirk smiled at him. "Maybe. But Spock and Scotty actually made it work. I had other people helping me with my miracle." He took McCoy's hand in both his own and, still smiling, looked the doctor in the eye. "You made your miracle all by yourself, Bones." FINIS Postscript: The idea for Riley's punishment was inspired by a line from one of my favorite stories, "Family" by Susan Legge (a.k.a. UKJess) -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service. From ???@??? Mon Feb 09 00:36:32 2004 Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n20.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.76]) by swallow (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1aQ44G4fW3NZFkN0 for ; Sun, 8 Feb 2004 21:35:14 -0800 (PST) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13151-1076304661-stephenbratliff=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yahoo.