Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 12 Feb 2004 19:36:38 -0800 In: alt.startrek.creative From: djinn@djinnslair.com (Djinn) TITLE: The Lost Years: Release (Slayer Series) AUTHOR: Djinn CONTACT: djinn@djinnslair.com http://www.djinnslair.com SERIES: TOS RATING: PG-13 CODES: Ch, K, U, Others PART: 2/2 SUMMARY: The fourth in the Lost Years series. "Hey there, Ms. Graduate." Uhura smiled at Christine. "Or is it Doctor Graduate?" "Doctor," Christine said distractedly. Uhura frowned. She'd expected her friend to be more excited. Maybe it was hard to get keyed up for graduation when she'd already started her residency? If she'd had to intern, she'd still be on break like the other graduates. "I was thinking of a small party..." She didn't mean to make the suggestion so tentative but the expression on Christine's face didn't bode well for a celebration. "I'm really tired, Ny." Christine walked away, then turned around. "But I appreciate the offer." "Christine." Uhura walked, said softly, "What's the matter?" For a moment, she thought Christine's face was going to crumple, could almost see the force of will that kept her expression neutral, as she said, "I've got a nasty--maybe the nastiest--vampire out there who's gunning for Emma. I really can't let go and enjoy a party right now." "Okay." Uhura hadn't ever seen Christine nearly cry over a vampire. "Ny, I do appreciate it. Maybe when my residency's done we can do something?" "I'll be on the Enterprise by then. Maybe you will be too?" Christine nodded, her expression seemed haunted. "I'm thinking about it." "Really? That's great! Why didn't you tell me?" "It's sort of sudden. I'm just thinking about it." Christine turned away. "I've got to do rounds. See you tonight?" "Yeah. See you." Uhura frowned. She turned and headed back to Command. She was about to turn into a side corridor when she saw Kirk walking toward her. She waited for him. "Hello, sir." Kirk looked even worse than Christine. What the hell was up with these two? "Hello, Nyota." His smile for her was warm but not as brilliant as usual, like someone had put a shade over the sun. "You're going to Chris's graduation tonight? I'll save you a seat?" "I'm not sure that I'll be able to make it. Nogura's called a late meeting. I'll just sit in the back if I come." He was lying. She didn't know how she knew that, but she knew it. "Sir, are you all right?" She reached out, touched his arm. In the past, it had often been enough to provoke a small confidence. "A friend of mine died last night." He looked down at her hand. She let go of him. "I'm sorry." He nodded. "I've got to go. Maybe I'll see you tonight." She blurted out as he passed her. "Christine's not doing very well, and I don't know what's wrong with her. Do you?" He paused for an infinitesimal moment, but it was enough to tell her she was right. The Kirk she'd watched on the bridge for all those years did not hesitate. "She's trying to find Wharton. She's spending too much time in the cemeteries, and not enough time sleeping." He turned around. "And she'll keep doing it. Because if she doesn't, her watcher may die." He shrugged. "What else do you need to know, Commander?" Uhura winced at the use of her title. She'd pushed him too far. "Nothing else, sir." He turned and strode away. Something was definitely going on. Uhura walked into the sunlight gardens behind the cafeteria. She'd never appreciated daylight until she learned what it kept away. Now she loved it with a fierce passion. She'd be giving that up for the Enterprise. But a good UV light could be worth its weight in gold. She'd already ordered one, and Len had promised to keep her well supplied with stakes. She just hoped the couriers didn't ever ask her what she was doing with them. A woman walked past her, dressed in tweed, blinking a bit in the bright sunshine. She looked lost. Uhura smiled at her. "Can I help you?" "I'm looking for Starfleet Medical." "Well, you found half of it. This is Starfleet Command." She walked to the door. "Come on, I'll walk you there." Maybe she'd try again with Christine, now that she was reasonably certain that something had happened with Kirk. "Thank you. I seem to make a habit of getting lost in this city." She had a charming accent. Like Scotty's, only softer, more lilting. "You're from Scotland?" The woman smiled. "The New Glasgow mining colony. On Maritus IV." Uhura knew of it. It was a heavy gravity world. That certainly explained the woman's build. "You're here on business?" "Yes." Uhura waited for more to come, but nothing did. "I mean here at Starfleet." "I'm visiting a friend." As they turned into a sunlit corridor, a cross around the woman's neck caught the light, bursting into radiance. Uhura frowned. She thought she heard the unmistakable clink of wood against wood. "Stakes?" she said very quietly. "What?" The woman stopped dead in her tracks. "Are those stakes in your pocket?" Uhura held out her hand. "I'm Nyota Uhura. A friend of Christine's." The woman smiled in relief. "I'm Ms. Drake, Em--" "--Emma. Yes, she's spoken of you." Drake rolled her eyes. "No. Most of it was good." Uhura grinned at her. She pointed ahead. "There's the entrance. Just ask at the front desk for Christine." "Thank you. You are going to her graduation?" Uhura nodded. "I just wish it wasn't at night." Drake nodded grimly. "Yes. So do I." "Well, I'll see you tonight." "Thank you. Perhaps you could save me a seat? In case I get lost again?" Finally someone who needed her help. "I'd be happy to." Before Uhura could turn away, Drake grabbed her arm. "Is Christine all right? She came 'round last night and I was suffering with a headache." At Uhura's look of sympathy, she waved her off. "Migraines, that's all. Anyway, I talked to Christine earlier today and she seemed..." "Not quite herself?" Uhura sighed. "Or more like her older self?" "Yes. Quite so." Uhura almost told her about Kirk, but some loyalty to both of them stopped her from confiding in someone who until a few minutes ago had been a complete stranger. "I think she's just tired." "Yes. Of course that's it. She's been looking for someone." Uhura could tell Drake was testing her. Didn't know if she was supposed to know about Wharton or not, but couldn't see a reason to lie. "Yes, I know." She shrugged. "She told me why she's so obsessed with patrol. I'm her friend." Drake suddenly looked rather sad. "And that's good. She needs friends. I don't like to think of her isolated again." "No. She won't be. I won't let her be." Uhura smiled to take some of the bite out of her words. She'd sounded fierce even to her own ears. Probably because she wasn't completely sure she could stop Christine from withdrawing if she really wanted to. Drake patted her hand. "I'll see you tonight, Nyota." Then she turned and walked to the reception desk. Uhura watched her for a moment, then turned and made the walk back to Command. Again. -------------------------- Kirk stood in the back of the auditorium, behind a pillar where Uhura wouldn't see him. He nodded to the other officers he knew, trying to stifle the yawns that seemed to be coming nonstop. He'd gotten no sleep between trying to discreetly locate Carl's body and then going back to the morgue with Weasel. At least they'd confirmed that it had been magic. "Poison's a good analogy," Weasel had said, as he'd laid his hand on Carl's forehead. "Someone powerful did this. Very powerful." "Do you know who?" "You tell me." Weasel pulled Kirk's hand over, laid it on Carl's forehead and pulled his own away. "Tell me what you sense?" Kirk closed his eyes. An oily blackness seemed to float in front of him. Black shot through with a sickly yellowish brown. He described it to Weasel. "Good. Remember that color. For you, that's the color of something toxic. For me, it's something different." He pushed Kirk's hand down, kept his own over it. "Now go deeper." Kirk tried to push the blackness aside with his mind. He felt a snapping feeling, like a surge of electrical current, or the slap of rubber cording. The hair on the back of his neck began to stand up. He described it too. "Yes. That's from the focus. You feel it too. Maybe your witch, maybe some object that was near your friend? But it doesn't help us pin down whoever did this." Kirk shook his head. But then he said, "Wait. There is something else." He held his breath, trying to capture what seemed like a scent that was forming nowhere near his nose. "Flowers. Fragrant" "What kind?" "I don't know. The scent is subtle, it keeps changing." "What about color?" "Blue, but I can't pin it down. Blue though." He got a flash of another color. "No. White. Blue or white..." He trailed off in frustration as he got a flash of yellow. "Okay, try to remember the impression not the actual colors and scents. If you're near the person, you might get a sensation of it again." Weasel pulled his hand away. Kirk turned to him. "You're supposed to be a powerful sorcerer and this is the best we can do? Some vague scent I can't even identify and an indeterminate shade of blue or white or maybe yellow?" "What exactly did you expect? A photo I.D.?" Weasel smiled. "Whoever did this is good. Covered his or her tracks perfectly. Or nearly so. The flower is a clue. One that may help you." "Why didn't you get the flower?" Weasel shook his head. "Odds are you've smelled or seen it before. You just don't remember where or when." "Or who I was with when I did?" Kirk had said. "Exactly," Weasel had said as he'd followed Kirk out of the bowels of Starfleet Medical. "The symbols are personal. What works for you will be things you resonate with, things you've experienced." Kirk had seen Weasel out and then gone to the gym and then straight to his office, changing into the uniform he kept there. He'd had no sleep and very little to eat. Now all he wanted to do was sit down. But he was afraid if he did, he'd fall asleep. "Admiral?" He smiled at the soft brogue. "Emma." "Come sit with us. Nyota's saved me a place. I'm sure there's room for you too." "I can't." She didn't reply, just stood waiting for him to explain why. He decided to wait her out, just smiled pleasantly. She finally sighed. "You've seemed quite fond of Christine in the past. Why not come down and enjoy her graduation with the rest of her friends?" Maybe because he wasn't her friend anymore? "I'm expecting to be called away. I don't want to make a scene by trying to leave in the middle of the ceremony. I can exit much more gracefully from up here." She stared at him, finally nodding. But she didn't go away. "How are your classes going?' "Fine. Thank you." Her face tightened. "I will figure out what's going on, Admiral. With you and with Christine." She strode away, irritation evident in her stride. He exhaled in relief. The woman reminded him of a teacher he'd had in fourth grade. He relaxed, found himself yawning again. He had a few minutes before the ceremony would begin. He walked out of the room, pacing a bit in the foyer to keep awake. A group of graduates filed past, on the way to the staging area. One lagged behind. Chris. She turned to him, a helpless and lost expression on her face. He knew he was wearing the same expression. She lifted her hand but when he didn't respond, let it drop. She shook her head slightly, turned away. Once she was out of sight, he raised his hand. "Touching." He whirled. Lori smiled. "You were so caught up in your precious slayer, you didn't even 'feel' me coming, did you?" She moved against him, as if she was an animal leaving her scent on him. He moved away. "I'm still waiting for that meeting with her, you know? Looks like I'm going to have to set it up for myself since you two are all broken up." She laughed, the sound sent shivers down his spine. In both good ways and bad. "Do you really want to stay for this?" She rubbed against him again. He turned to look at her. Her luminous brown eyes seemed to turn black as she stared at him. He felt his resistance to her dropping. Why hadn't he been interested in her? She was beautiful. So sexy. She rubbed against him again. "We could go." He took the hand she held out, let her pull him toward the doors. He heard footsteps, turned to see Chris coming back, walking toward him with a determined stride. She stopped dead when she saw his hand in Lori's. Her face tightened when Lori rubbed against him again. They stood frozen, until Lori let go of him, walked up to Chris. "I need to talk to you." "He told me already. I'm not that interested. Less and less by the minute, in fact." She turned a hurt look on Kirk. Lori looked back at him also. He shrugged. He wasn't sure which of them he was trying to appease. "Even if it's important?" Lori said. "For more than just us. Many more." She moved her head, stretching her neck as if she had a cramp. The movement came off as surprisingly savage. Suddenly Chris walked forward, moved in so close she was nearly in Lori's face. The look on Chris's face one of sudden recognition. "I know what you are." Kirk stepped forward, again not sure which of them he was trying to protect, which to hold back. "She's a witch. Or something." Christine nodded. "She's more than that, Jim. It's not safe to be around her right now." She pointed up. "The moon's full." She pretended to howl at it. Lori smiled, it was a strangely seductive expression. "We're not all slaves to the moon. Some of us have learned to control the change. It can make for a very passionate experience. Maybe you'd like to skip the ceremony and join us?" She moved closer to Chris. "I'd like that." "I'll pass." Chris turned to Kirk, angrier than he'd seen her. "Just don't let your dream girl bite you." She turned on her heel, and walked away. "Her loss." Lori rubbed her hand along his neck and he felt the hairs stand up. He felt a snapping sensation, like electric current or rubber tubing. He forced himself not to react, tried to read her. There was no smell or color--no flower. Or maybe there was and he couldn't go that far without Weasel there to guide him? But she had been involved in Carl's death. He pulled away from her. Had he really been going to leave with her? "What are you?" "You mean you don't know?" She shook her head. "Such a babe in the woods. I think your slayer was almost tempted by my offer." "I think you're wrong." He backed away from her. "I'm going in. I have a graduation to watch." "Suit yourself. I'll see you around. Hopefully in a better mood." Her smile was feral. He didn't turn his back on her until she was safely out the door. Then he hurried into the now darkened auditorium, ignoring the glares from the other latecomers as he pushed past them, deeper into the shadows, where Chris wouldn't see him. He left as soon as the ceremony was done and he'd seen Chris safely graduated. There was a reception, but it would be too hard seeing her. It would always be too hard seeing her. -------------------- Christine blinked back tears, determined she would not screw up her makeup and look like a lovesick fool. If Jim wanted to go off with a damned werewolf, that was his business. It had taken every ounce of control she had not to try to kill Lori. Well, not every ounce. Some small part of her wouldn't have minded taking her up on her offer. Pheromones. Like the woman was in heat. That was the power of her attraction. And being a witch, or a sorceress, or whatever it was in vogue to call a woman like her didn't hurt the allure either. Christine almost missed her name being called, was brought to herself by a classmate gently pushing her and saying softly, "It's your turn." The rest of the ceremony passed in a blur. It was over and Uhura had her in a tight hug. Emma was beaming approval. Christine let a few tears fall, but they were to be expected, she didn't have to explain them. "I saw Admiral Kirk," Emma said tentatively. "So did I," Christine said in her most final tone. Mercifully, both women took the hint. "Do you want to grab some dinner?" Uhura asked finally. "I'm not very hungry." She turned to Emma. "I thought I'd patrol. I'll walk you home though." She turned to Uhura, hugged her again. "It means a lot that you came. It means the world." She saw the concern in her friend's eyes and pulled away quickly. "Why don't you walk with us?" Uhura laughed. "Look at this crowd. A lot of them are skipping the reception, I bet. We'll all be walking together. We'll be fine. You look really tired. Why don't you go straight home?" Emma nodded. "We'll be with a crowd. And I have stakes." "I have to patrol first. Just a few passes." She handed Emma her cap and gown. "Could you take these back to your place?" "Of course, dear. Are you sure you don't want to come back with me? You really do seem all in?" Her gaze was penetrating, as if she knew what was wrong but was waiting for Christine to tell her. "Just a short patrol. I'm fine." Christine stood up straight. "Really." She was glad she'd dressed in patrol-worthy clothes. She needed to escape. And to kill something. She had two stakes in her jacket. Enough to do plenty of damage with. "Christine?" She turned to see Will Decker coming up. Uhura whispered, 'That's our cue." She winked at Christine as she hurried Emma out. "Hello. I hope you didn't come to this for me?" He shook his head. "A friend of the family was graduating. But I thought I'd come over. Say hello. And pester you about my offer." He winked at her. "Oh. Wow." She felt off balance. He smiled. An open, easy, no-pressure smile. "I'm a hard to man to resist when I want something." She felt herself relaxing, smiled. "That's a trait they look for in Enterprise captains." He laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment, since you were recommended by the most famous one of all." She forced herself not to look away. "Have you thought about it? Enterprise sickbay is a posting that many people are vying over. I'm giving you a vie-free pass." She laughed. He was charming. And Uhura liked him. And her friends would be there. And there weren't any vampires or werewolves or witches or-- She realized Decker had asked her something. She hoped that "Yes, I accept the offer" was the right answer. By his smile, she assumed it was. "Great. Welcome to the team. I'll be in touch." He gave her one last happy smile and walked away. She felt a lump in her throat. She' be so far from Jim. She was already miles away from him, even when she was in the same room. What she'd just seen had proven that. How could he? Whatever happened to being revolted by Lori? "Happy Graduation?" a quiet voice said behind her. She turned. Thompson stood looking nervous, something behind his back. "Bob?" "I knew it was your big day. I wanted to surprise you." He pulled a bouquet of white flowers out, presented them with what he must have thought was a courtly bow, but looked more like a wobble to her. She was still touched. "Thank you." "Maybe we could go out and get a drink? To celebrate?" He saw her look and held up a hand. "You were about to hit the cemeteries, weren't you?" She nodded, touched his hand to soften the rejection. "You're cold." "Yeah, it was freezing in the back. I could really use some coffee. How about you?" He began to walk up the stairs and she followed him. The flowers smelled good. Lilies mainly. Some white roses. As they walked toward the door she forgot how to breathe. She was the only one reflected in the glass. Thompson grabbed her arm, his voice was suddenly silky, a dulcet upperclass British instead of whatever heartland dialect he'd been doing before. He pushed the door open with his foot. "Don't make a scene and no one here will get hurt." She tensed. "You're Wharton? All this time? You've been playing with me." "I like to think of it as getting to know you." "Semantics," she hissed. Wharton was hustling them pass the people who were still talking in small groups outside the auditorium, nodding pleasantly as if nothing was wrong. "Think about it, Christine. If I wanted to kill you, how many opportunities have I had in the past? I came here to watch you graduate. And to be there for you at the end of the ceremony, when you walked away all alone, like you always do." She reached for her stake. "Christine. Why are you doing that? Do you believe the stories your watcher told you? Do you know how many slayers I've saved from overeager vampires and from cold-hearted watchers?" He put his arm around her waist, pressing her free hand down against her hip so she could not reach her stake. "Have I given you any reason to be afraid of me?" She tensed again. He guided her down the hill, toward a grove on the way back to town. "Stop acting on instinct and use the brain that the watchers would rather you didn't exercise. How have I ever hurt you?" "Not me. But those others. The people you've been putting in my way." "I think we've got more important things to worry about at the moment." He pointed down the path. Six vampires stood waiting. Old vampires. Not fledglings. These monsters had been around the block a few times. The biggest one stepped forward. "A Slayer. And her boyfriend. Out for a walk. How romantic." Wharton shuffled forward. Once again he was Bob Thompson. Ungainly. Wimpy. Deadly, she imagined. "We don't want any trouble." "Well, trouble wants you," the biggest one said. The other five laughed. Wharton's face changed. "With lines like that, you'll give us all a bad name." He charged into the group. It took Christine a moment to react, then she pulled her stake out and went for the biggest vampire. Her first blow barely moved him. Then she remembered the way Lori had rubbed against Jim. Her next kick knocked the vampire halfway across the grove into the outthrust limb of a tree. He was dust. Wharton glanced back at her. "A stake would be nice." "Sorry. Fresh out." "Fine." He grabbed the vampire nearest him, twisted her neck until the head came off. The vampire exploded into dust. "Stake?" he said again, as if to a slow child. "I bought you hot chocolate. I don't even like hot chocolate." Against her better judgment, she tossed him her spare stake. It had been his to begin with, the loaner from the night before. She ignored him, taking on the next biggest vampire who charged her with a roar. His punch caught her in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her for a moment. She slid across the grass, managed to turn the movement into a controlled roll and was up again as he reached for her. She slammed the stake home and he was dust. Wharton had taken out two more. They both converged on the last vampire. The woman looked frightened. She turned to Wharton. "You're one of us." He shrugged. Christine slammed the stake into her back, too hard. She tried to pull it out before the vamp exploded, but it was too late. Her stake disappeared along with the vampire. She turned to face Wharton. He smiled at her, turned his stake around and handed it to her. She took it slowly, expecting a trick. He moved closer to her, reaching out and guiding her hand to bring the stake up to his chest. "I'm a vampire. You're a slayer. Slay me." She pushed, and he closed his eyes. Waiting. She pulled the stake back. "Why? Why this masquerade? Why the games?" "If I'd walked up and said, 'Hello, my dear, my name is David Wharton,' would you have invited me to tea perhaps?" He began to circle her. "You're all alone. Except for me. No watcher. No friends. No handsome admiral stupid enough to leave you. No rather infamous vampire kissing you." She turned to look at him. "That's why you ran from Spike. He'd have known what you were." "In a second." He grinned; it was an attractive expression on him. He was very attractive, just as she'd suspected Bob could be if he were an entirely different person. "Seeing you with Spike," he said, coming up behind her. "It changed things for me." "I will stake you." "And then what? Go back to your cold apartment. Report to an even colder ship?" His lips touched down on her neck. "You're unhappy. As unhappy as any slayer I've ever seen." She shivered at his touch. "You killed those people. I know that was you." "Yes, all right, I did. To keep you busy. It's true. But they weren't random. They weren't innocents. In their own way, they were more evil than I could ever be. I just did the world a favor." "You're not judge, jury, and executioner." "But that's exactly what you get to be. And for whom? Silver? That pompous ass. You do this for him?" "Emma's not like him." "Oh, but she is. She has you fooled now. She's a master at it. But in the long run, she'll stick with the watchers. The same way she did that night when she left you alone here with me." He slowly reached around and took her stake. "I could have killed you that night. I didn't." She wasn't sure what to say, how to answer. "You asked me about darkness. Did I believe some people were darker inside than others? The answer is yes. I believe the watchers are. I believe they prey on young girls. And I believe I can stop them." His lips touched her shoulder again, then her neck. "I believe we can stop them. I offer you release, Christine. No more pain. No more darkness to fight. You'll embrace it and become like me. And together, we'll save the slayers who have no one to fight for them." "No," she said, but made no move to stop him. What was the point? "The admiral was a fool to walk away from you. I could tell he loved you. And I know that you loved him. And he just walked away with that fiend." She swallowed hard. "He's probably with her right now. Touching her." Wharton's arms went around her. "Kissing her." He moved her hair aside, kissed the back of her neck. "Tasting her." He moved closer to her ear, his teeth resting, pushing enough so she could feel the pressure. He pulled back. "Let go, Christine. I can make all this pain stop. I'll never hurt you." She felt his teeth again touch down. This time it wasn't like Marcus. This was no spell, no enchantment or hypnosis. This was just one broken soul calling to another. She heard him, something inside of her heard him...and was responding. "No more pain," she whispered, the words a prayer, a supplication. He bit down, his teeth puncturing the skin. Pain roared in her head, then she felt his mouth settle around the wound, his tongue lapping even as he sucked at her. She moaned. It hurt. Then she moaned again. It didn't hurt. It felt good. His arms tightened around her, the stake still in his hand. It bumped against her arm. It felt wonderful. Oblivion, release. Utterly wonderful. And just another way of running away. She grabbed the stake, stabbed him as best she could in the leg with it. He released her and roared in pain. She pulled back, ripping away from his teeth, then kicking him away from her. "No. No oblivion. Not for me." She held her hand up against her neck trying to stop the bleeding. Pressure, the doctor in her said. A rag and pressure. She ripped her shirt, wadded it up and held it against the wound. "If you want to try again, then go ahead. But I won't be your willing victim." She held the stake up even though her hand was trembling badly. "Christine. I won't hurt you. I want to help you." "So you said." He smiled as if he was proud of her. "But it felt good didn't it? Like sex, only better?" "It felt good. But that's not all there is to life." She backed away from him. "You leave Emma alone, David. Just walk away now and I'll never even tell them you were here." "I can't walk away. Although I'll let you walk away tonight. But you'll be back." She shook her head. "If you don't go, it'll be war between us." "We'll see. You're really quite remarkable, you know." He blew her a kiss, disappearing into the shadows, like the phantom he seemed to be. She started to shake, nearly falling down in shock. She hadn't lost that much blood; she'd be fine if she could get the bleeding to stop. If she could get to the hospital. It was several blocks later that she realized she was heading for Jim's apartment, not the hospital. ------------------------------------- Kirk heard a strange sound at his door, as if someone had bumped into it. Then the chime went off. He hurried to it, opened the door, barely caught Chris as she almost fell into his apartment. "Jim? I know we're not...but...I let him bite me and then I couldn't and I fought him but he left and then..." She pulled her hand from her neck and he saw that she was bleeding. She started to cry. "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have come." "It's okay. It's okay, Chris." He helped her into the living room. She suddenly pulled back. "Is she here? Because if she is, I don't want to be." "She's not here. I didn't leave with her. I was there, in the back. Watching you." He smiled softly as he checked the wounds. "Why did you come here if you thought she was here?" "I don't know. Because I need you." "You also need blood." She shook her head. "He didn't take very much. I stopped him." "Did you know him?" She nodded, looked miserable. "I finally found Wharton." "And you let him bite you?" She started to cry again. "It's worse. I let him buy me hot chocolate." He laughed softly. When she sobbed, he stroked her hair back. "I'm not laughing at you. You're just not making any sense." Unless... She had said hot chocolate? "That ensign was Wharton?" She nodded. "He wanted to turn me. I almost let him." He walked into his bathroom, found the medical supplies and brought them out to the living room. As he began to work on the wounds, he said softly, "You didn't let him. Almost turned means you weren't turned. It's like almost dead or almost pregnant." "I know." She winced when he put the antiseptic on the bites. "I'm sorry." "Don't be sorry. You got away." He finished with the bandage, then sat down next to her, sighing as he pulled her into his arms. She curled around him, her head on his chest. "I can't do this without you, Jim." He started to reply but her words came out in a rush, as if she was afraid she'd have no other chance to speak if she didn't get it out now. "We can just forget what we said, and how we feel, and just be friends, because I need that and I think you need that too. And I'm the only one in this whole damn city that needs you, so you can't walk away from me. Not like this. Because that's what cowards do. Like me when I ran away, or like Spock when he went off to Gol, but you're not like us. You're not a coward. You don't run. You stay. Please stay. Be my friend." "Are you done?" She nodded solemnly. Then as he started to speak, she said, "Oh god, I accepted Decker's offer tonight." She began to cry in earnest. "Chris, shhh. It's all right. It'll be all right." "No, I can tell him I changed my mind. I'll do that right now. I'll send him a message." She started to get up. He pulled her back down gently. "You'll do no such thing. This is killing you, don't you see that? Being the slayer again. Being here again. It's killing you. Putting you right back where you were. And I'm not helping." He pulled her close. Kissed her forehead gently, putting thoughts of all the other places he wanted to kiss out of his mind. "The Enterprise is the best place for you. Don't call Decker. Don't back out." He realized she was shivering violently. "Are you sure I shouldn't take you to the hospital?" "No. Please. I'm just so cold." She burrowed against him. He moved her off him gently, stood up and drew her up after him. "Come on. At least I won't have to wake you every two hours this time." They could sleep in; he was off tomorrow, from work and lessons with Weasel. It wasn't much, but given how much else he couldn't have from her, he wasn't going to complain. "Come on," he said gently. She stopped, held onto his hand and looked at him plaintively. "I need you, as my friend. You'll be that?" He nodded. Self-control, Weasel had said? Well, he thought they were both showing remarkable amounts. "Don't leave me," she said softly. "Don't push me away." He pulled her into the bedroom. "I won't leave you. I won't push you away." "You promise?" She took his other hand. Held it tightly. "For the long haul. We'll be there for each other? You promise?" "I promise." Pulling her hands to his lips, he kissed them. He pushed the covers back and she kicked off her boots, then crawled in. He followed her in, tried to ignore how good it felt to hold her against him. How much it hurt to hear her murmured "I love you, Jim," as she shifted half-asleep against him. She moved closer, her arm snaking around his chest. In her sleep, she rubbed against him the same way Lori had. It felt tons better than when Lori had done it. "I love you, Chris," he said softly, knew it might be the last time he ever said it to her. But he'd give that up just to have her back in his life. All the things she'd said, he'd have said them too if he hadn't been so dammed stubborn. He probably owed that bastard Wharton a huge debt of gratitude. But he'd still stake him if he got the chance. He'd tried to turn the woman Kirk loved into a vampire. Not that he could blame the man. But still. He smiled, knew it was a grim smile. She was safe. She was all right. She hadn't been turned. It was up to him to make sure she didn't ever again get to the place where she wanted to let go like that. He had to keep her alive. Alive and well and ready to escape on the Enterprise when it shipped out. Even if letting her go would be the hardest thing he ever had to do. To keep her safe, to keep her alive and happy, he'd do it. He'd lied to Spock for the same reason. Hurt his best friend. It seemed only fair that he pay for her happiness, for her release with the same currency. His heart. Exhausted beyond memory, he closed his eyes and fell instantly to sleep. FIN -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service. From ???@??? Sun Feb 15 21:13:23 2004 Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n12.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.67]) by robin (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1aSyf75ed3NZFjX1 for ; Sun, 15 Feb 2004 18:12:17 -0800 (PST) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13199-1076897446-stephenbratliff=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yahoo.