Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 15 Feb 2004 11:46:26 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: "Heather Smyth" picard5@bigpond.com Title: Vengance From The Past Author: Heather Smyth Series: TNG Part: 5/? Rating: R Code: P/C Disclaimer: Paramount owns all Startrek and I derive no financial gain from this story...just a little fun. Summary: See part one. After settling into his new room and eating a light lunch, Selar and two nurses came in to see him. They set about switching off and moving the regen apparatus and uncovering his legs. "What's this?" "I would like to begin your therapy sessions Captain. It will involve light massage and gentle exercise. Are you ready to begin?" He nodded and the two nurses began to work on his left leg, starting simultaneously at the thigh and calf. The pain hit him immediately. His hands gripped the sides of the bed and a groan escaped through his clenched teeth. "I will give you something for the pain soon Captain. We need to reawaken the nerves and improve the blood flow. Your discomfort tells us we are succeeding. Please be patient." As they worked on his tortured leg, he tried to distract himself by reciting Shakespeare's sonnets in Klingon to himself and when that failed he strove to count to one hundred in as many languages as he could. He's gone through English, French, Italian, Klingon, and Vulcan and was half way through Romulan when they moved to his right leg. Unable to contain himself, he cried out and sat up, stilling their hands. "Mon Dieu, enough!" Selar noted the sweat running down his face and neck and his laboured breathing. She left and returned with a hypospray. He heard the hiss and felt the relief flow through his legs. Nodding to her companions to continue, they completed the massaging then began to put his legs through gentle stretches. As the newly repaired muscles warmed, they increased the exercises until they were able to lift his knees to his chest. Having achieved that, they straightened his legs and went to work on his shattered feet. Again they massaged, then applied low electrical stimulation to activate the many small muscles, tendons and sinews. When they were finally finished, they covered his legs and re-applied the regen field. "Captain Picard?" Jean-Luc opened his eyes and found Selar with his gaze. "We will be doing this therapy three times a day. Unfortunately, it will be uncomfortable for you, but we will endeavour to ease your pain as best we can. You are scheduled for more surgery in two days. As the bones knit and the muscles and nerves recover, it will become less painful for you. You are due for more analgesic in three hours. Please advise us if you require it sooner." He nodded and they left. "Three times a day! Mon Dieu, how will I get through it?" Beverly was delighted when Deanna appeared at her door. "Dee! Come in." They embraced warmly and Deanna moved the empty tray to one side. "So Beverly, how are you?" "Bored." "What, already?" Beverly sighed and fingered the covers. "Let me amend that. Bored and worried. Did Will tell you?" "About the Captain's decision? Yes he did. What's going on?" "You tell me! He just and gave up command. No explanations other than he doesn't want to command from Sickbay, he said he would assume command again when he could walk onto the Bridge." "How long will that be?" Beverly pursed her lips and shook her head. "It'll be a while. I don't think he knows yet, but the two weeks in Sickbay is just the start. He'll leave here in a wheelchair, then progress to crutches.most probably with braces.it'll be weeks before he walks unaided. Deanna was dismayed. "Hasn't anybody told him?" "Well I was going to but we.well we sort have had a falling out and now I'm in here and he's." Deanna patted Beverly's arm silencing her. "I'm seeing him next. I'll tell him, it's probably going to be better coming from me anyway." "Don't let him bully you Deanna. He can be and arrogant son-of-a." "Don't worry Beverly, I can handle him. I'll talk to Selar before I see him." Deanna stood at Jean-Luc's door and watched him carefully. Seemingly asleep, his chest rose and fell rhythmically. His mind however was racing, his emotions a whirling turmoil of fear and dread. Upon hearing her, he immediately dampened his emotions, erecting his well-practised shields. "Captain?" "Yes Counsellor." "May I come in?" He sighed and closed his eyes. "Would it make any difference if I said no?" "No Sir." "Then you may as well come in." Deanna approached the bed slowly, her agile mind gently probing his and coming up against his barriers. "How are you Captain?" "I'm fine." "Selar said your first therapy was.uncomfortable for you." "Hmm." "She says you have to have the therapy three times a day." "Yes." She moved closer and touched his arm, causing him to open his eyes. "How do you feel about that?" He held his breath for a few heartbeats, then expelled it slowly, his shoulders falling. "I am.dismayed." "Why?" "It's very painful.I don't think I can.that is I." "You're frightened." Hard to say. "Yes." Harder to admit. "It will pass Captain. Selar tells me that as the bones and nerves recover, the pain will become less." He nodded and Deanna noticed the moisture in his eyes. "Captain it's alright to be frightened. You're not less of a man.or a Captain because of it." "I know." He whispered. Deanna retrieved a chair and sat close to him, holding his hand. "Has Selar to you about what happens after you leave Sickbay?" He shook his head, not trusting himself to answer. "You already know you'll be here two weeks, barring any complications." He nodded. "When you're released from here, you'll be in a wheelchair. Therapy and regen treatments will continue in your quarters and you'll be fitted with leg braces. You will be taught to walk with the aid of crutches and it will be some weeks, possibly a month or more before you'll be able to walk unaided." He said nothing, just stared at the ceiling. "Captain you have many good friends aboard the Enterprise. I'm sure they will want to help in any way they can. If you just let." "That will be all Counsellor." "Sir?" "Dismissed." She rose from the chair and turned to leave, but before she went, she said softly, "I'll come by later." She received no reply. Deanna went straight to Beverly. One look at the troubled Counsellor 's face told her the news. "It didn't go well." "Not really." "What happened?" Deanna sat by her friend and took a moment to centre herself. Feeling calmer, she faced her companion. "I told him the prognosis and he didn't take it too well. He's having trouble coming to terms with the therapy.it's very painful.and he closed up completely when I told him about the braces and crutches and how long it will all take. In fact he dismissed me." "Typical! That's Jean-Luc to a fault. When in need, close out your friends, isolate yourself from those who can give comfort.withdraw. Gods, that man! Selar!" The passive Vulcan arrived shortly. "Yes Doctor?" "I want a wheelchair." "I'm afraid that is impossible. You are confined to bed until your legs have sufficiently healed. If you were to lower your legs at this time, the pain would be overwhelming." Beverly clenched her teeth and sighed. "Then I want you to move my bed." "To where Doctor?" "Captain Picard's room." Selar raised one eyebrow. "You wish to share his room?" "No I just want to visit him. It's important. Dammit Selar.just do it!" "As you wish Doctor Crusher." Beverly was being wheeled into Jean-Luc's darkened room when he spoke. "I do not want visitors." The orderlies stopped and Beverly motioned for them to continue. They refused. She opted to talk to him from the doorway. "Jean-Luc we need to talk." "I don't think so." "Well I do! I refuse to let you lie there and sulk." That got his attention. "I am NOT sulking! I simply want to be alone." Beverly grabbed the doorframe and pulled her bed a little further inside his room. "Jean-Luc we always come to each other when we need a shoulder. Why is this any different?" "Beverly." "Come on Jean-Luc.talk to me." His nod was almost imperceptible, but she saw it and directed the orderlies to wheel her bed all the way in and position her alongside him. They left then, leaving the couple alone. "Jean-Luc?" In a rough whisper, he began. "I can't do it Beverly." "What can't you do Jean-Luc?" He sighed, his breath catching in his throat. "The therapies, the braces, the crutches.it's too much." She thought for a moment then reached for his hand. "It would be if you were alone, but you're not. I'll be with you, and Deanna and Will. You'll have to let us help you Jean-Luc, but it will make the whole thing easier if you do." "It's going to take such a long time." She lifted his hand and gently kissed it. "One day at a time Jean-Luc. Take each day as it comes and don't worry about the next and remember, we'll be with you." He sighed and two tears escaped and rolled slowly down his face. Beverly felt her own tears rise and cradled his hand against her face. He turned to her and smiled ruefully. "I wish I could hold you right now." She returned his smile and chuckled softly. "Me too. Shall I stay with you?" He nodded and smiled, pulling her hand across to cover his chest. Over the next two days Jean-Luc endured the therapy three times a day and at the end of each session, Beverly was there to help him recover. His surgery was completed and some of the metal rods and plates removed as the bones continued to heal, but more operations awaited him. One afternoon, after yet another therapy session, he turned to Beverly and sighed. "Jean-Luc?" "I don't know what I'd do without you Beverly.I." "Shh Jean-Luc, we're helping each other. I draw strength from you too. Is the painkiller working?" "Uh huh." "Is there any change yet? Is the pain any less during the therapy?" "No, it still hurts like hell." "Well maybe the surgery will help." "Hmm. Beverly what about my feet? How will I begin to walk when my feet have been so badly damaged?" Beverly frowned as she thought how to answer him. "We will make special shoes for you and the time you spend on your feet will be very limited." "It's going to be painful, isn't it?" "I'm afraid so Jean-Luc. The feet are a tender region in any event. They have to bear weight, counteract balance.they're very delicate pieces if equipment and certainly not meant to be shattered into little bits. It's going to take some time for them to heal, you're going to have to be patient." "And what about you Beverly?" She smiled and took his hand. "My legs and feet suffered less damage than yours. I will have more surgeries yet, but I will heal quicker. Selar says I can be discharged tomorrow." "Oh." "I'll be confined to my quarters for a while, but as soon as I'm able, I'll wheel down here to be with you. Ok?" He nodded, attempting to withdraw again. Beverly saw it and strove to circumvent it. "Jean-Luc it'll be alright. Selar and the others will look after you.your pain management is up to you.just tell them when you." "I know Beverly, it's alright, I'll manage." As Beverly predicted, she was discharged to her cabin the next day. She waited until after his morning therapy session and made sure he'd settled before she left. In a wheelchair, she was taken to her quarters where a portable regen unit was set up for the three times a day ritual. Jean-Luc lay in his room contemplating his predicament. Still confined to bed, he could do little for himself. All personal needs were assisted by an orderly, he was dressed with help, bathed with help, in fact he began to think there wasn't much use in trying to be self sufficient.somebody would come along and take over anyway. The therapies were finally becoming less painful, but he had more surgery scheduled for the following morning. What was happening to him? Would he be the same man when it was over? How would his crew react to seeing him struggling along with braces on his legs and crutches on his arms? Many years previous, when he was a small boy, he had fallen from a tree and broken his leg. He had been alone at the time and had lain for some hours before his brother Robert had found him. The pain had been severe and the length of time in the cast interminable, but he overcame his difficulties and pressed on regardless. One of the first things he'd done when finally free of the cast was to climb the tree again. Was that what was required here? Press on and hope to regain himself later? Could he overcome the fear, the dread of the pain he knew he had yet to endure? "Of course you can! Remember the Borg? Gul Madred? You can endure.but I'm tired! Tired of being hurt, of having to pick myself up and try again. How many more times must I do it? How many times can a broken man be repaired before the damage becomes irreparable? Why must I face this all with such stoicism? What would happen if I let them know what I really feel?" He sighed and rubbed his face with his large hands. His mind drifted along disjointedly, touching here and there and finally settling on Beverly. He stilled and closed his eyes; forcing himself to remember the last time they made love before transporting down to the blighted planet. She was his saviour, his protector. With her, he didn't have to be anybody but himself. No rank, no aura of authority, no mystique of command.just her best friend and lover. She knew him like no other. His faults, his frailties.his doubts. Oh how he missed her! He was counting the days until she came to him again. Since she'd given him her heart he'd found a peace he'd never thought he'd experience. He felt whole for the first time in his life and he knew he would do anything to keep her. She gave her heart, he gave his soul, she'd owned his heart for thirty years. It was then that he knew how he would endure. He had her.she would be the calm place in his storm.she would see him through it and they would emerge together stronger on the other side. Sleep took him then and, for the first time, without nightmares. -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service. From ???@??? 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