Forwarded by the ASC-VSO 
Posted: 14 Apr 2004 14:31:57 -0700  
In: alt.startrek.creative 
From: whoa_nellie40@hotmail.com (whoa nellie) 
 

Title: Double Entendre 
Author: Whoa Nellie (whoa_nellie40@hotmail.com)
Series: TNG 
Repost: 3/10
Rating: NC-17 
Codes: P/Vash, W/T, D/f
Synopsis: During the Enterprise E's final fittings, Vash comes onboard
as the ship's Chief Archaeologist. The evil Alternate Picard from the
mirror universe appears to steal the new ship's schematics when he
spots Vash and decides to take her with him. Can Picard stop his
counterpart, saving his ship and the woman he loves?

As always: Paramount owns all the marbles.  We just have a lot more
fun playing with them.
Feedback is always appreciated - posted or e-mail. 

Whoa Nellie's Picard/Vash Romance Fanfiction website: 
http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Galaxy/7926/ 

Whoa Nellie's Sci-Fi Romance Fan Fiction website is at:
http://www.geocities.com/whoa_nellies2000/

CONTINUED FROM PART 2

	As soon as the Alternate Picard returned from his trip to Planitia,
he made his way to cargo bay four.  He walked in and glanced around. 
There were at least twenty crates of archaeology lab equipment that
had been unloaded onto the floor.  All of it needed to be checked and
cataloged by Vash for her lab.  Vash had complained to him last night
that it was going to take her at least a week of straight paperwork
before she could start to actually set up her lab.  He spotted her by
the far wall standing next to the wall comm link   She had taken an
empty crate turned upside-down and was using it as a makeshift desk.  
Her computer and other materials were spread across it.   She wore her
brunette hair in her customary classic shoulder length style which
framed her lovely face.  She pushed a stray strand of hair out of her
eyes as she scanned the computer screen.  She was in a peach dress
overlaid in chiffon with a delicate flower pattern on it.  It had a
sweetheart neckline and fitted bodice with a full skirt which fell
with fluid elegance to about mid calf.   She was absentmindedly
tapping the heel of one graceful pump on the deck of the cargo bay. 
As he walked across the bay his eyes swept over her feminine form, the
swell of her breasts, the slim waist, the curve of her hips, the
delicate ankles.   When the proper time came all he would have to do
was call up the files he had hidden in her computer and transfer them
to disk.  Then he would just grab her and the disk, then activate his
transponder.  They would both be gone before anyone had a clue.

	As he reached the desk, she glanced up and smiled, "Hi there.  I
thought you would be busy flying this huge boat."

	Just then, Worf and two security guards burst into the room, phasers
drawn.  Close on their heels was Commander Riker.  The Alternate
Picard rushed one of the two guards, knocking him down and taking his
phaser.  The other had to dive out of the way to avoid the shot fired
by the Alternate Picard.  The alternate turned and grabbed for a
shocked Vash.  Riker beat him to her by a split second.

	In a swirl of peach chiffon and Starfleet uniform, he threw her and
then himself behind her makeshift desk.  He used his large frame as a
shield to protect her, giving Worf and his security guards a chance to
grab and disarm the impostor.

	"Worf to Captain, we have him.  The area is secure, sir," Worf
informed Picard over his communicator as his men held the Alternate
Picard.

	Riker stood and gently helped Vash to her feet.  Picard had just
entered the cargo bay.  Vash looked from one Picard to the other. 
"Will, what the hell is going on?!" she demanded, looking up at Riker.

	Riker looked down at her.  She was still standing quite close,
practically in his arms; he took a step back.    She did deserve an
answer.

	"Have you ever heard theories about alternate universes?" he lowered
his voice.

	She nodded.

	He continued.   "The impostor is from an alternate universe, one
where the Federation is an evil Empire ruled by brute force and
violence.   Last night he attacked the captain, imprisoned him, and
took his place for some reason.  We don't know what that reason was."

	"When last night, exactly?" her heart began beating faster.

	"Right after he returned to his quarters from the reception," Riker
replied.  He noticed that Vash had paled considerably.

	'Oh God, What have I done!' she thought to herself, barely able to
breathe.

	Picard's voice rang across the cargo bay, "Number One."

	"Yes, sir," Riker answered as he laid a gentle hand briefly on Vash's
shoulder, and then turned and walked to the captain.

	Vash barely noticed, she was deep in thought.  What I've done is
sleep with the wrong man!  This wasn't possible!  The man she had been
with last night looked, sounded, and felt like Jean-Luc Picard.  She
would have known the difference!  Or would she?  Riker said the
impostor was from an alternate universe.  Another Picard from another
universe, wouldn't he be identical to Jean-Luc.  How do you tell the
difference?  Technically weren't they both Captain Jean-Luc Picard? 
'Oh God.  I've got to be the one to tell him what happened.'

	As she made her way across the cargo bay to where Picard was
standing, she noticed the Alternate Picard watching her.  She blushed
when she noticed the suggestive smile that slowly spread across his
face.  Then security led him out.  She came up behind Picard.

	"Jean-Luc, We need to talk," she said softly.

	"Are you all right?" Picard asked, his tone was coolly polite as he
turned to her.

	"Yes, but..." she started.

	"Later," came the curt response.

	"I really think we need to talk, alone," she tried again.

	"I'm busy," Picard was sounding colder by the minute.

	"I realize that.  However, it is important that I talk to you alone,"
Vash tried a third time.  How could she get him to understand?

	"There is absolutely nothing for us to discuss, Vash," his tone held
a cold finality.  He turned back to his officers.

	Data walked into the cargo bay and approached Picard, "Sir,
maintenance has completed the repairs to the damaged cabinet door in
your quarters."

	"What damaged cabinet door?" Vash was confused.

	"The captain was being held in a storage cabinet in his quarters. 
Fortunately the decorative slats allowed him plenty of air; however,
the door to the cabinet was damaged when Commander Riker and
Lieutenant Commander Worf retrieved him," Data explained to Vash.  He
was very relieved to see that the impostor had not hurt her.

	"Could he also see out these slats?"  She felt sick as the
realization hit her.  Jean-Luc had been there the whole time.

	Data looked somewhat surprised at her query. "Of course," he replied.
 His face twisted with consternation as he realized that she was quite
upset.  He lowered his voice, "Vash, are you all right?"

	Vash didn't hear Data's concerned question.  She felt rage overtake
her.  Jean-Luc knows!  He knows exactly why I want to talk to him. 
Vash was fuming.  He just doesn't want to deal with me.  Well that's
just too damn bad.  How dare he put me off just because his precious
male ego is wounded.  Well, you arrogant Parisian bastard, take this!

	"Picard, you arrogant son-of-a-bitch!"  Vash's voice reverberated off
the walls of the cargo bay, as Riker, Worf and Data stood in stunned
silence.  Picard stood there, his face a stoic mask.  Vash glared at
him, shooting daggers with her eyes.

	Riker looked at Worf and silently mouthed "Retreat."  Worf nodded. 
Riker grabbed Data's arm and the three of them left, quickly.

	As they moved to the door, Data turned to Riker and asked, "Is that
what is meant by the line, 'hell hath no fury,' Commander?"

	Riker quietly hissed, "Later, Data."

	As the door to the cargo bay slid shut behind them, Vash launched
back into her tirade.

	"You knew exactly why I desperately wanted to talk to you.  Dear God,
you saw everything!  What's wrong, is your aristocratic nose out of
joint because you're afraid that he was better than you?  Just tell me
how the hell I supposed to know it wasn't you."  Vash took a deep
breath.  She was now standing directly in front of him, toe to toe and
glaring into his face.

	Picard broke his stony silence, "That wasn't necessary," he stated
coldly.

	"I thought it was," Vash retorted. "Now that I've got your attention,
please explain why I'm getting the cold shoulder treatment from you."

	"You should have realized something was amiss."  Picard was angry. 
He was angry at her for not knowing.  He was angry at himself for
feeling this way.  She was right, his nose was out of joint.  He
preferred to believe that he was infinitely more civilized than his
alternate.  That she could be that intimate with his alternate and not
know the difference made him wonder if he was really enough for her.

	"So, you're angry with me for unknowingly betraying you with a man
who is essentially you.  Jean-Luc, do you have any idea just how
demented this whole thing sounds.  Tell me, could Riker or anyone else
on your precious ship tell the difference?" she demanded.

	"No, but I'm not sleeping with Will Riker," he countered angrily. 
Still, he could not help noticing how beautiful she was, and it just
made the whole mess more painful for him.

	"Well, Will and I now have one more thing in common," she shot back. 
"You think I'm to blame because I should have realized that it wasn't
you.  Has it occurred to you, Captain, that I'm the victim here?  Do
you even care how I feel about all of this?"  With that, Vash turned
on her heal, her skirt swirling around her, and stalked out of the
cargo bay.

	The door of the cargo bay shut behind her, leaving Picard alone.

	"It should have been me!" he shouted as he slammed his fist into one
of the crates.  He wanted to blame his alternate, but he couldn't help
feeling that he was somehow responsible for letting this happen.  But
how could she have let   . .   The image of the Alternate Picard with
Vash was all that he could think of.  He knew that logically neither
Vash nor himself was really to blame.  He knew where the blame should
go, but that didn't seem to matter right now.

..............................................

	Vash strode through the corridors in a blind rage.  To hell with him,
to hell with both of him.  Granted, things had been different last
night.   Did Jean-Luc really expect her to guess that she was with not
him, but with a genetically identical impostor from only one night of
mind-blowing, spine-tingling, heart-stopping sex?  How exactly was she
supposed to make that leap?  How dare the alternate dupe her like
that.  Even though the sex had been thrilling, it still didn't change
the fact that the alternate had fooled her.  She hated being taken for
a fool, and it didn't happen often.  She didn't even know this man. 
He must have been aware that she thought he was Jean-Luc.  Jean-Luc
saw everything, he must have been aware that she thought it was him.

	Then the realization hit her.  Oh God, he saw everything, every last
thing.  How could he just watch silently?  He knew, why didn't he do
something?  Well gentlemen, I hope the two of you enjoyed the show! 
She had never felt so brokenhearted.  She had fallen in love with
Jean-Luc. That was part of the reason she had gone with Q to the gamma
quadrant.  She had been running away from her feelings for Picard. 
But the old 'out of sight out of mind' theory had not worked and she
had come back.  To what?  One minute she was in bed with the man she
loved, the next he was as cold as ice telling her she should have
known she was with an identical impostor.  She fought the tears that
were stinging her eyes.  Then she heard the yowl and she almost fell
as she nearly stepped on a rather indignant furball.  Vash stopped in
her tracks and looked down, startled.  Looking up at her was a small
orange cat.

	"Hello there," Vash spoke with a gentle voice as she kneeled down and
held out a hand to the small animal.  "Don't be afraid.  I won't hurt
you."

	The tabby sniffed at her hand, then, apparently deciding she was a
new toy to play with, walked underneath her hand in an age-old
'scratch my back, now' gesture.  Vash tenderly picked the cat up to
cradle it in her arms.  The cat purred loudly and rubbed its head up
against Vash's chin.  Vash's mood lifted a little and she cooed at the
animal.  "Aw, thank you, I really needed that.  You're a pretty little
kitty.  But I don't think you're supposed to be touring the ship on
your own."

	She gently turned the cat's collar to see its name tag.  "So tabby,
what is your name and who do you belong to?"  Vash read the tag and
couldn't help but laugh.  "This says that you are named Spot.  Why
would Commander Data give such a silly name to such a beautiful little
lady.  Well, I guess I should take you home."

	Vash cuddled with Spot as she made her way to Data's quarters.  She
rang the door chime.

	"Come," Data's voice was muffled and sounded somewhat worried

	Vash walked in and, after looking around for a moment, smiled
slightly as she saw Data kneeling on the floor, looking under his bed.
 "Is this who you're looking for?"

	Data jerked up, hitting his head on the bed when he heard her voice. 
He sat up and looked over to see Vash standing in the doorway holding
Spot.  Data was grateful that Spot had been found and also pleased
that Vash was the one who had found Spot.  Spot was still purring
loudly and rubbing up against Vash's chin and neck.  "Yes.  Please
come in.  I did not realize that she had escaped from our quarters
again.  Thank you for bringing her home."

	Vash sighed heavily as she nuzzled the cat.  The sadness in her voice
was striking compared to the lighthearted tone of this morning.  
"Actually, I should thank you.  Spot helped to brighten what was a
rather dismal afternoon.  I love cats.  They have a very calming
effect."  Giving Spot one last hug, she let the cat down.

	"I am glad that Spot could help.  I have found that felines can
indeed be quite relaxing.  Spot, however, seems intent on causing me
as much stress as possible with these little forays of hers.  She has
taken to roaming the ship ever since the birth of her second litter of
kittens," Data explained as he reached down to stroke Spot's fur.

	"Kittens?   May I see them?" Vash asked.

	"Of course, they are over here."  Data led her to a box sitting on
the floor next to his desk.  He was sure that whatever had upset her
must have had something to do with the scene between her and the
captain earlier.  He wanted to make her feel better, he wanted to do
something to rectify the situation if he could.  He smiled as he saw
her face light up at the sight of the kittens   "They will be ready to
leave their mother in just a few more days."

	"They are so cute!  May I hold one?" she looked up at Data hopefully.

	"Yes, of course."  Data looked into her wide, beautiful blue eyes and
wondered how anyone could say no to her.  They sat down on the floor
next to a box of six kittens.  Vash picked up a kitten that was all
black, except for a splash of white on its chest.

	"Who is this?" she asked as she cuddled the purring kitten.

	"That is Charcoal," Data supplied the kitten's name.  Then his voice
became gentle.  He was not exactly certain how to broach whatever was
bothering her.  "You said you were upset when you found Spot.  Is it
anything I can assist you with?"

	Vash looked over at Data's concerned expression and softly asked,
"Data, is that your not-so-subtle way of finding out if I'm okay after
a very obvious disagreement with Captain Picard?"

	Data nodded and added, "I have been concerned about you since I left
the two of you in the cargo bay.  You seemed . . . somewhat
distraught."

	Vash looked down at the kitten she was holding as she spoke. She
couldn't keep the pain out of her voice.  "I was very hurt and very
angry.  I probably said some things that I shouldn't have.  See, I
went to see Jean-Luc last night after the reception.  I didn't know
that it wasn't Jean-Luc and, the impostor and I, well . . ."

	Vash tried to think of how she wanted to put this.  "I was fooled by
the impostor.  In the cargo bay, I wanted to talk to Jean-Luc
privately, so that I could tell him what had happened. He just gave me
the cold shoulder.  Then I found out he had been there all along and
did nothing to warn me.  On top of all that, he blames me for not
being able to tell the difference."

	Data could tell from the way she spoke that Vash still cared very
deeply for the captain.  The reactions of the three people in the
captain's quarters the night before led Data to surmise that the
impostor had seduced Vash last night.  This was, of course, complete
conjecture on Data's part, but why did the idea cause such an intense
emotional response?  That theory would explain Vash's hurt feelings. 
What Data didn't understand was the captain's irrational behavior. 
Captain Picard was aware that there was no physical way to tell the
difference between himself and the alternate.  Genetically, they were
both Jean-Luc Picard. However, he could at least clear up one
misunderstanding.

	"Vash, the captain was physically incapable of warning you. The
alternate had used some form of a neural inhibitor to completely
paralyze the captain.  He could do nothing but watch anything that
happened."

	"Oh my God, I had no idea.  Is he all right?"  Vash looked up at
Data, concern for Picard overwhelming her hurt feelings.

	"Dr. Crusher has said that he should suffer no residual effects,"
Data reassured her.

	Vash looked back down at the cat.  "Jean-Luc must hate me," her voice
was hushed.  Her face was filled with pain and regret.  She stood up
and paced the room, still holding the kitten.  "Data, I really had no
idea it wasn't him.  He was so angry with me for not knowing. 
Jean-Luc said I should have known that something was amiss.  Was there
something I missed?  Should I have known?"

	"Vash, there was no possible way you could have known the difference.
 The impostor is Jean-Luc Picard from an alternate universe.  Whatever
happened, you are not to blame," Data told her firmly, as he stood to
face her.  He gave her a reassuring smile.  "If you would like, you
may have Charcoal when she is ready to leave Spot next week."

	Vash smiled at Data as she handed the kitten back to him. "I would
love to have her.  Thank you, Data."  She blinked back the tears that
were welling up in her eyes.  "You are a gentleman in every sense of
the word."  Afraid that she would burst into tears, Vash turned and
ran out of the room.

	Data carefully put Vash's kitten back down in the box.  The captain
knew this was not her fault.  She obviously still cared for him a
great deal.  The captain was so lucky to have such a beautiful lady
care for him so strongly.  How could the captain hurt her that way? 
Vash was right, the captain was acting like an arrogant
son-of-a-bitch.  He had no right to treat her like that, even if he
was Captain Jean-Luc Picard.  Data decided he was going to let his
commanding officer know that.  The only question was how to do it
without getting busted back to ensign.

....................................................

	Picard moved through the corridors with quick, angry strides.  His
usually polite, impassive expression was now that of an enraged bull. 
She had called him a arrogant son-of-a-bitch.  How dare she talk to
him that way onboard his ship and right in front of his officers. 
That prima donna actually had the nerve to imply that he was worried
about his own performance in the bedroom.  Not bloody likely.  How
could she not tell the difference between his love-making and the
manhandling of that savage brute?  His mind kept replaying the entire
abominable scene.  Picard, by nature, was not a jealous or possessive
man. But the memory of Vash's red evening gown sliding down her
shapely silhouette to land on the floor around her feet, and her
passionate responses that night filled Picard with a blind rage.

	Without realizing where he was going, he suddenly found himself
standing face-to-face with his alternate.  Picard didn't have the
slightest idea why he had gone there; this was the last place he
should have gone.  He had decided to leave this matter up to Riker and
Worf, a personal confrontation was not the behavior of a Starfleet
captain.  The Alternate Picard had a smug smile on his face as he
casually leaned against the wall of his cell.

	"So, Captain, how is that playful, sexy, little mattress kitten of
ours?" the alternate taunted.  "I hope she isn't in too much
discomfort.  I gave her quite a workout; but, of course, you already
know that."

	"I can only assume you are referring to Archaeology Council Member
Vash," Picard stated, both his face and voice as cold and hard as
stone.

	"Indeed, unless you've managed to get Dr. Crusher and Vash to play
nicely together in bed.  I never could.  Neither of them were ever
very good at sharing," the alternate sounded casual, as if he was
joking with a close friend.

	"I didn't come here to discuss Vash."

	"Of course you did,"  the alternate mocked him.  "I'm you, remember. 
I know what the mere thought of that magnificent creature does to you 
 That red dress, what there was of it, certainly showed off our little
vamp's sultry figure.  I'm not sure what that dress accented more, her
perfect breasts or her perfect legs.  What an objet d'art.  I do love
those legs!  As I see it, you had the perfect opportunity at the
reception to procure her favors for yourself."

	The Alternate Picard watched as Picard struggled to maintain his
composure.  The alternate decided to push Picard even further.  "You
could have easily gone to her quarters for the night, I would never
have known she was here.  She was obviously quite willing.  You don't
even have the nerve to take possession of the one thing you really
want.  She was practically giving you an engraved invitation. 
However, veni, vidi, vici.  It's driving you mad that it was me who
responded to that come-hither invitation and had her clawing at the
sheets all night.  She really does turn into a tigress when you nibble
at that little birthmark.  The third time I took her she actually drew
blood with those long fingernails of hers.  Even you have to admit,
she really is a great --"

	"Enough!  You don't have the privilege to call yourself a man.  Nor
do you have capacity to appreciate the company of a lady who is a
pearl of such great price," Picard's voice thundered in the confines
of the brig.  His anger exploded.  How dare that barbarian talk about
Vash in such a vulgar manner.  The only thing keeping him from killing
this animal was the force field.  Since her birthmark was located four
inches straight below her navel, there was only one thing that swine
could have been doing to nibble on it.  The thought nearly made him
lose his legendary control over himself.  "Stay away from Vash or I'll
kill you!"

	"My, my, Captain, would you actually kill for her," the alternate
sneered back at Picard.  He seemed amused.

	Would I?  Picard wondered.  He flashed back to Q's little Robin Hood
adventure.  He thought of Sir Guy's lifeless body sliding off the
blade of his broad sword.  A sense of calm flooded over him.  Picard
looked his alternate in the eye with a cold, calculated smile.

	"I already have," came his even response.  Then he turned and left
the brig.

	As he watched Picard leave, the alternate felt the first twinge of
fear.  Had he pushed this Picard too far?  Quickly recovering his
composure, he said in soft whisper, "Touché Captain, I didn't think
you had it in you."

.....................................

	Vash stormed around her quarters cleaning furiously.  'The nerve of
that arrogant, self-important, French jackass,'  she thought to
herself as she reached for another tissue.  She never cried; she hated
to cry.  She especially hated the fact that she was crying over him.  
No one was going to see her cry over him, that was for sure.  Her door
chime rang.  She really didn't want to see anyone right now.

	"Oh, go away!" came her exasperated response.

	"Vash,  It's Will.  It's really important I talk to you."

	"All right, come in."

	Riker walked into her quarters, he noticed there were a number of
impressive artifacts from all over the galaxy set out for display. 
Then he noticed her, standing in the middle of her quarters with a
tissue balled up in her hand.  He hated the fact that he had to
question her right now, but finding out what the impostor was up to
was imperative and she might be able to help. "I'm sorry to intrude, I
really need to ask you some questions."

	"It's all right, Will.  Of course, I'll try to help in any way I
can."  There was a catch in her voice as she answered.  He could tell
that things were definitely not all right.

	"Vash," he took her arm and gently sat her down on the couch, taking
a seat in the chair facing her.  "I was remembering your reaction in
the cargo bay earlier.  Did you see the captain last night after the
reception?"

	"Yes," her response sounded very shaky.  She closed her eyes and took
a deep calming breath.  "I went to his quarters after the reception. 
I wanted to clear up a little misunderstanding we had at the party."

	"Vash,  This is really important.  I need to know exactly what was
said.  The smallest thing could be a clue to what he's doing here." 
Riker hated to press her but he needed her help.

	She smiled humorlessly, "Will, there wasn't any talking going on. 
Because of that,  Jean-Luc will probably never speak to me ever
again."

	"What?" came the stunned reply.

	"I slept with the impostor."  Her stoic expression could not hide the
hurt and confusion that were so evident in her voice. "I went in and
the impostor swept me into his arms and made love to me.  I thought it
was Jean-Luc.  I didn't know.  How could I have known?"

	She looked so lost.   Riker moved to sit beside her on the couch. 
Speaking in a calm voice, he tried to reassure her.  "Of course you
didn't know.  No one knew anything was wrong until we discovered the
captain while investigating some anomalous readings originating in his
quarters.  You were an innocent victim.  It's not your fault, Vash."

	"Jean-Luc doesn't seem to see it that way.  He seems to think I
should have known.  That by not knowing, I've betrayed him."  She
stood and said apologetically, "I've haven't been much help.  I'm
sorry, Will, I realize you're just trying to do your job.  Thank you
for the shoulder."

	He stood and smiled down at her.  "It's all a part of the service." 
He started to leave, then turned around and gently added "The captain
is a proud man, Vash, but he is also fair. Give him some time to calm
down.  I'm sure he'll realize that you are in no way to blame for any
of this."  Then he left.

END PART 3
...........................................

--
Stephen Ratliff
ASC Awards Tech Support

http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/

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