Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 14 Apr 2004 14:34:04 -0700 In: alt.startrek.creative From: whoa_nellie40@hotmail.com (whoa nellie) Title: Double Entendre Author: Whoa Nellie (whoa_nellie40@hotmail.com) Series: TNG Repost: 4/10 Rating: NC-17 Codes: P/Vash, W/T, D/f Synopsis: During the Enterprise E's final fittings, Vash comes onboard as the ship's Chief Archaeologist. The evil Alternate Picard from the mirror universe appears to steal the new ship's schematics when he spots Vash and decides to take her with him. Can Picard stop his counterpart, saving his ship and the woman he loves? As always: Paramount owns all the marbles. We just have a lot more fun playing with them. Feedback is always appreciated - posted or e-mail. Whoa Nellie's Picard/Vash Romance Fanfiction website: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Galaxy/7926/ Whoa Nellie's Sci-Fi Romance Fan Fiction website is at: http://www.geocities.com/whoa_nellies2000/ CONTINUED FROM PART 3 Riker entered the turbolift. He had spent the last few hours questioning everyone who had come in contact with the captain's alternate. He had saved the captain for last and, according to the crew, Picard had been in a royal snit all day. "Bridge." He still was no closer to finding out what the alternate had been up to than when he started. That meant he would have to talk to Picard about the time both of them had been in Picard's quarters last night. After talking to Vash, Riker really wasn't looking forward to questioning the captain. He had read the captain's log concerning the incident but he needed to talk to the captain directly. His commanding officer was not exactly going to be in a very talkative mood. Riker was well aware that Picard cared very deeply for Vash. Q's little Robin Hood game as well as the captain's reaction to Vash's appearance at the reception proved that. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be forced to watch helplessly as the woman you love was seduced right in front of you. From Vash's emotional state, Riker was fairly certain that the scene in the cargo bay between Vash and the captain had been pretty nasty. A small smile crossed his face. He had seen commanders of Romulan Warbirds quake at Picard's name, but there stood this young petite brunette calling the captain of Starfleet's flagship an arrogant son-of-a-bitch right on his own ship. Riker wondered if anyone had ever dared to talk that way to Picard before. She was a perfect match for the captain; he hoped they could patch things up. The doors slid open and he stepped out onto the bridge. Picard was nowhere to be seen which meant he was probably in his ready room. Riker walked over to the door, adjusted his uniform and thought to himself, 'Into the jaws of death rode the six hundred . . .' Like a man about to face a firing squad, he rang the door chime. "Come," came the expected, if harsh-sounding, reply. Riker walked into the ready room and stood somewhat stiffly in front of Picard's desk. Picard laid down the PADD he was working on, and looked up at his first officer. "Yes, Number one?" "Sir, I have contacted Planitia about the impostor. They have instigated a search to see what he accessed and will report that to us as soon as possible. It may take awhile, they report that Commander Kerrgan is missing. They are now doing an extensive search of the shipyard. I have also questioned everyone onboard who had any contact with the impostor, except one. We do know that he questioned Commander LaForge about the location of the ship's schematics. That tells us that his mission involves this ship, other than that we're still investigating. Of course, the report from Planitia may tell us more about what he's after." "I take it, Number One, that Vash was your one exception." "No, sir. The one exception was you." "Unfortunately, Number One, I have no useful information to give you." "Sir," Riker hesitated. He was definitely on thin ice here. "Sir, anything you could tell me about last night might help." "As I said, I have no useful information. My alternate was not in a talkative mood." Picard's icy tone dropped the temperature in the room ten degrees. 'So I've heard,' thought Riker. "Is there anything further, Number One." Picard was not-so-subtly dismissing Riker. "No sir." Just before Riker reached the door, he turned back around, "This impostor was well-prepared. It would have been impossible for anyone to tell that it wasn't you." Riker could tell by the expression on Picard's face that Picard knew he was referring to Vash. "Dismissed, Commander," the cold finality of Picard's tone brooked no arguments. "Yes, sir." Riker beat a hasty retreat from the office. As he left he wondered how much longer any of them could stand Picard's current mood. He could only hope, for everyone's sake, that his captain and Vash kissed and made up soon. Outside Picard's ready room, Riker breathed a sigh of relief. He needed a drink. As he passed Data exiting the turbolift, he stopped to comment. "Some days you get the bear, some days the bear bites your head off," the first officer muttered. "I'll be in Ten Forward." Data nodded. He clutched his leather-bound copy of Shakespeare's complete works in his left hand. He wondered if this was the best time for this. Deciding that, in Picard's present mood, there was no best time, he rang the door chime. "Come," the curt reply beckoned. Data stepped through the doorway. Captain Picard was standing next to his window, moodily surveying the Planitia shipyard, his arms crossed. He did not look at the android. "Sir," Data began slowly, "I was wondering if perhaps you had a moment? I have been reviewing the works of Shakespeare recently. I have found that the emotion chip has greatly broadened my appreciation for them. However, I have am still puzzled by the actions of many characters." Picard turned, perhaps a diversion was just the thing to get his mind off of certain matters. "Shakespeare, you say? 'To be or not to be, that is the question.' Certainly, Data, what are your questions?" Data decided to simply leap in, head first. "Well, sir, for instance, the character of Othello baffles me. While I understand that Othello was deceived, I am uncertain of the motivation for his subsequent actions." *Othello*, somehow discussing a man who killed his wife in a jealous rage did not seem to be the diversion he had hoped for from his present concerns. "Well, Data, that is exactly the point of the play. Othello's reaction to the deception was his undoing." He walked over to the replicator. He gestured to Data then turned to the machine. "Two Earl Greys, hot." Picard offered a cup of the tea to the android and then sat down behind his desk. "You see, Data, Shakespeare was attempting to recreate the emotions of jealousy, rage, and distrust in the characters of that particular play. You know for yourself how quickly the mind can be numbed by such powerful feelings." "I understand, sir. However, the act of murder does not directly follow from the information presented to Othello at the time. All of the evidence presented to him was either circumstantial in nature or completely fabricated. He had no reason to feel threatened. At no point in time did Desdemona even entertain thoughts of that which she was accused of doing." Picard drank deeply while he thought for a moment. He was beginning to feel defensive. "I disagree completely. It doesn't matter whether or not Desdemona actually did what Iago had claimed. The point of the play was the insecurity of committing yourself so totally to another human being. In Othello's eyes everything that was himself, his entire being, was in jeopardy, his life, his honor, his fortune and not the least his wife. Also, you need to keep in mind his point of view. He was a commander of men. Iago was his right hand man, he entrusted his life to Iago, he had no reason to disbelieve him." Data sipped the tea. Although he found the taste of Earl Grey bitter, the captain was under the impression that he loved it. The android had no intention of having him believe otherwise. He continued the dialogue. "But, sir, if he indeed loved this woman as much as he claims, why would he doubt her? It seems to me that the real problem Othello had was hubris." Picard frowned. "Hubris? In what way?" "He believed that he knew all. Rather than considering alternative explanations for the observed behavior, he made conclusions that eventually led to his demise." "Mr. Data," Picard stood. "I have always read Othello as a sympathetic character absorbed by passions gone awry. You paint a very different figure. Your version is much colder, more distant. He seems much more in control than I have ever considered." The captain stood silent for a moment. He was shocked as he realized Data's ploy. The Othello presented by Data was very similar to himself. Vash's pleas had fallen on deaf ears with him, much as Desdemona's pleas had gone unacknowledged by Othello. Apparently the android had mastered the art of subterfuge much more quickly than anticipated. Very clever. "Your insights are numerous, Mr. Data, very thought-provoking." he smiled, "Is there anything else? I believe I need to have a conversation that is long overdue." "Well, sir, briefly. I was also thinking of another piece of literature that is applicable here. Perhaps you are familiar with the story of *Old Yeller?" Picard looked puzzled. "*Old Yeller*? Isn't that a story about a boy and a dog?" "Yes, sir. The dog, Old Yeller, became mad, barking and snapping at everyone in sight," explained Data. "Yes, yes, I am aware of that. The dog became infected with rabies." Picard could still not see a parallel with their previous discussion. "Well, I would simply like to point out, sir, that in the end of the book, they shot Old Yeller." With that parting shot, Data made a dignified, if hasty, retreat from Picard's ready room. Inside the ready room, Picard stood there by his desk, looking slightly stunned. ..................................................... "Where is Alexander?" "He's staying overnight with a friend." Worf and Deanna were having dinner in Worf's quarters. The lighting was low, soft music was playing in the background, and a variety of Klingon and Betazed delicacies were spread on the table between them. They were slowly introducing each other to their unique customs and traditions. Deanna had explained the purpose of the chime during Betazed meals but had not used it because 'it was damned annoying.' "What did you say this was called again?" Deanna eyed the wriggling gelatin mass before her with suspicion. People ate this? "Gagh, it's a delicacy. Here try some." Worf held a fork covered with the wriggling creatures. Deanna thought about that offer long and hard. Exactly how much did she love this man? After deciding that he was worth it, she closed her eyes and took a small bite of the live concoction. "Not . . . bad." Not chocolate, but surprisingly edible. In small bites and very rarely, of course. The look on Worf's face made the aftertaste almost worthwhile. He smiled in satisfaction and took a large bite for himself. "This pie is very good, Worf. Do I want to know what's in it?" "Probably not. It's called Rokeg blood pie. My human mother learned to make it for me when I was a child. I'm sure she would send you her recipe if you asked." "Blood pie. You were right. I don't want to know. By the way I talked to Mother earlier today." Worf braced himself. He could never be sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes their talks went well and Deanna was happy afterward. Sometimes their talks didn't go so well and Deanna was . . . less than happy. "Mother wanted to know if you would be able to hear thoughts in time for the wedding. I told her I wasn't sure. Alexander has caught on very quickly. Mother was very impressed with him last time he visited her." Deanna had broached the subject of his learning to hear her thoughts many times and in many different ways. Worf was still very reluctant to learn and she didn't understand why. "Why would your mother assume that I was learning to hear thoughts?" "Because she naturally assumed that, as my husband, you would want the added intimacy of sharing our thoughts." Deanna could feel Worf becoming very defensive. She probably ought to drop the subject but she was suddenly tired of dancing around certain issues because of some machoistic code of honor. "Well, I don't," he responded. "Why not?" "I don't want to." Deanna felt herself growing very annoyed. Aside from Will Riker and her mother, Worf was the only being who was able to set her off this quickly. After all the compromises she had made, she could even speak some Klingonese now, he still hadn't made one single solitary compromise for her. She had absolutely had it! "Why not? I've learned to speak Klingonese for you." "That's not the same thing. Klingonese is a language. You speak it." "Well what about this?" Deanna stood up, pushed her chair back, and gestured angrily at the table. Worf stood up and glared back at her in his most intimidating manner. "What about what?" he growled menacingly at her. "Don't you growl at me you overgrown excuse for a guard dog. I mean this dinner. I have at least tried a bite of every Klingon dish here, most of which involve live creatures. You have not even tried one bite of any Betazed dishes," Deanna huffed and put her hands on her hips. "They're too bland. Klingon food is real food. That stuff is baby food." Worf couldn't understand what she was getting so upset about. Her mother. Her talk with Lwaxana must not have gone well. "What did your mother say to you this afternoon?" "Leave my mother out of this. You haven't even tried the food. How do you know it's bland?" Deanna's eyes were blazing as she regarded the infuriatingly calm Klingon before her. "I just know. And your mother is the cause of this so why should she be left out?" "My mother? MY MOTHER! How dare you bring my mother into this. This is about compromise. Oh, I forgot, there is no such word in the Klingon language. Compromise means I try something of yours, and you try something of mine. That means my food, my customs, my lifestyle. If we're going to mesh our cultures together, we both need to work at this. I'm the only one who's been giving around here. Let me tell you something, a give-and-take relationship does not mean I give and you take. You immature, insensitive, selfish brute! You still won't even talk to me about changing the furnishings in here after I move in." "Change what? It's livable." Worf looked around his quarters. His bat'telh was hanging on the wall, he had traditional Klingon artifacts scattered throughout the quarters. By Klingon warrior standards, it was quite luxurious. "Because if you think I'm going to sleep on that shelf you call a bed for the rest of my life, you have another think coming. And as for the rest of this incredibly depressive decor, some pastel wall hangings and flower arrangements will liven this place up nicely. If you don't want to discuss it with me, I'll just do it myself, my way. And what about our wedding. I compromised. I understood that you were uncomfortable being nude at the wedding so you don't have to be-" "I don't want anyone naked at our wedding," Worf growled back. Deanna hit another octave. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. You have no respect for my customs or my traditions. It's all about your customs and your traditions. Well I have news for you, Betazeds evolved long before you stopped dragging your knuckles when you walked. Our customs and rituals are beautiful expressions of our culture and evolution. How can I believe that you have respect for me when you don't even respect what I believe in?" Worf started to reassure her that he had a great deal of respect for her but Deanna cut him off before he got a word in edgewise. "Shut up! Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to you. Do you think I'm talking just to hear myself talk? Answer me!" Deanna finally had to stop to breathe. Which she did in great, gasping breaths as she glared daggers across the room at Worf. Worf, for his part had moved away from her and was standing against the far wall of his quarters wondering what he should do or say at this point. Deanna geared herself up to launch into another tirade but couldn't think of the words to say. She started to send her thoughts to him but remembered that she couldn't because the hulking beast refused to learn even that about her people. In frustration she picked up the plate of gagh and hurled it at him. With his warrior reflexes, Worf quickly moved out of harm's way. The plate's rim embedded itself into the wall of his quarters, right where his head had been just seconds before. As he stood there, open-mouthed, staring at the plate of dripping worms sticking straight out of the wall, Deanna sent a parting shot: "Captain Picard isn't the only arrogant son-of-a-bitch on this ship." With an angry toss of her hair, Deanna stormed out of the quarters and off to find some chocolate. Worf stood there, looking from the plate to the door and back again. 'Damn, some woman,' he supposed she wouldn't be in the mood for mating tonight. ....................................................... Will Riker looked very pleased as he swept the poker chips from the middle of the table toward himself. Around the table, Beverly, Geordi, Data, and Guinan all shook their heads. "I can't believe he took that with only two pairs. I had a flush. How does he do it? Why play? He almost always wins," Geordi lamented as he sat back in his chair. He had just fallen for one of Will's famous bluffs during their weekly poker game. "That's why I really enjoy watching him lose to Jean-Luc." Beverly turned to smile at Will. "You just haven't figured out how to bluff the captain, have you Will? He can read you like a book. Remember last week when Jean-Luc bluffed you into folding with a straight flush. The captain had only two of a kind. I thought I was going to see a grown man cry." "Where is the captain this evening? I figured he would be here," Guinan asked. "You haven't seen him today, have you." Riker was making a statement of fact rather than asking a question. "No, why?" Guinan seemed confused. "He's in just a wee bit of a snit," Geordi shook his head. "And that is just a wee bit of an understatement," Riker sighed, "remember, the captain could only watch as the impostor took his place. It must have been very frustrating. He's been very concerned about any actions the impostor took before being discovered." "This is just a guess," Geordi ventured, "But could the captain's mood have anything to do with this other guy's actions towards a certain lovely brunette in a red evening gown?" "It's been a long time, are you sure they're still interested in each other?" Beverly asked. "Didn't you notice his reaction when she walked in Ten-Forward? Oh, he's interested." Geordi tapped on his visor with a forefinger. "From what I could see with my visor, his metabolic rates skyrocketed when he saw her. Of course, so did Will's." "Geordi's right. His eyes never left her," Riker agreed, then, in defense of himself. "As far as my reaction, she is an attractive lady." "Now that is a wee bit of an understatement!" Geordi smiled. He hesitated for a moment, then decided to continue on. "The rumor is that Vash went to see the captain last night in his quarters after the ceremonies. That means she saw the impostor. It also means the captain saw her see the impostor. Depending on how far things went, it would explain his mood." Geordi looked at Riker for confirmation. "I'm not going to touch that for all the gold-pressed latinum in the quadrant," Riker muttered as he held up his hands and leaned back away from the table. "At least tell me about the scene in the cargo bay this afternoon. Did she really call him a son-of-a-bitch?" Geordi just had to know. He couldn't imagine anyone saying that to Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise. "Actually, her precise words were: 'Picard, you arrogant son-of-a-bitch'," Data chimed in helpfully. Beverly couldn't contain herself, she collapsed into a fit of giggling. Geordi chuckled and shook his head. Guinan smiled. "Data!" Riker hissed. "Oh, come on Will," Beverly teased the first officer. "I would have given a week's pay to witness that." "He probably deserved it. And it was probably amusing," Guinan sounded pretty amused herself. "It was funny," Riker admitted with a small smile. "All right very funny. But that still doesn't solve the problem of the captain's present mood." "Don't worry Will. She's the one, they'll work it out." Guinan had a calm smile on her face. Riker was about to ask Guinan how she knew that, when Data piped up again. "I am sure Guinan is right." "Data, how do you know that?" Riker sounded exasperated. "The captain and I were having a discussion and he informed me that he had decided to engage in a conversation with Councilmember Vash," Data was his usual matter-of-fact self. "I couldn't even get near that particular topic with him. What in the hell were you discussing?" Riker ran his hand through his hair. He sounded very tired. "Literature," came the perfunctory response. "What literature?" Riker felt as if he was pulling teeth. "*Othello* and *Old Yeller*." "*Othello*? Oh my God! Data, did you realize what you were implying?" Geordi couldn't believe his ears. "Of course, Geordi. I may not have a complete understanding of emotions at this point, but I can add the emotional two plus two and come up with four. However, it did take the captain by surprise when he realized that I had done it intentionally," Data looked rather pleased with himself. Riker looked up at Data and smiled. "The reference to *Othello* is obvious. But *Old Yeller*?" "I was merely pointing out the similarities in temperament. I also pointed out to the captain that," he smiled even wider, "in the end of the story, they shot old yeller." "That's working without a net." Riker could hardly believe what he just heard. "I guess as long as the captain and Vash kiss and make up, it was worth it." "They would make a handsome couple. I think they're well-suited to each other," Beverly added almost gleefully. Riker smiled at the thought of the incident in the cargo bay. "She certainly is perfect for him. She can definitely go toe to toe with him, that's for sure." "I think they would be happy together. That's the least the captain deserves," Geordi smiled and then added, "Besides think of the sheer entertainment value." "Speaking of happy couples, where is Worf and Deanna?" Beverly asked. "I passed Mr. Worf's quarters on the way here. I happened to notice that the counselor and he were having a rather heated debate." Data was just a wealth of information. "I hope Deanna is all right," Geordi's voice sounded worried. Riker chuckled. "Deanna is fine. However, Mr. Worf might be in mortal danger." He began to deal the next hand. END PART 4 ............................................... -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Mon Apr 19 10:16:46 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n25.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.81]) by eagle (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bfzw31AA3NZFji0 for ; Mon, 19 Apr 2004 07:12:54 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13384-1082383861-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah