Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Wed, 21 Apr 2004 04:11:12 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: Jungle Kitty Title: Backwards and In High Heels Author: Jungle Kitty Contact: kittyjungle @ earthlink . net Series: TOS Posted: 4/20/2004 Part: 2/5 Codes: Various characters including real people, humor Rating: PG Feedback: Yes, please. See part 1 for summary, disclaimers, and acknowledgements. *** BACKWARDS AND IN HIGH HEELS, part 2 (c) 2001-2004 Jungle Kitty Four weeks later, Julie sat at the back of the control booth studying the latest headshots submitted by the talent agencies. The director, Tom Winston, was at the control board, staring at a wall of monitors. On the set below, three women dressed in futuristic nurse's uniforms were posing provocatively, oblivious to the unceasing construction activity all around them. With the soundfeed turned off, the booth was a relatively peaceful refuge from the hammering, drilling, and shouting that grew ever louder as the deadline approached. In less than twenty- four hours, "Star Trek: All My Aliens" would begin shooting and the frenzy of activity did nothing to dissipate the growing tension. They had a budget, a set, crews both in front of and behind the camera, but no captain. The door flew open and the quiet in the control booth was shattered. Without looking up, both Tom and Julie said, "Close the door" in a tone that indicated they'd given this reminder several times already. "Sorry," said Jay Fitzpatrick as he sat down next to Tom. "Julie, casting says they've got some more captains coming over in five minutes." "You better pray someone fits the bill or we're going to put one of you in a miniskirt." "Not me. The Director's Guild won't allow it," Tom replied. "And besides, Jay's prettier." "True," Julie agreed. "It would be a big promotion for you, Jay. From assistant director to captain of the starship." "Thanks, but I'd rather look at girls in miniskirts than be one." "Then look at this." Tom pointed at one of the monitors. "Julie, you want to check the nurses?" "I'm sure Gene has given them all a thorough examination," she replied and went back to sorting through the headshots. Tom flipped the switch on the microphone. "Nurses, face left, please." The nurses turned and Tom tapped his pen against the control board as he studied their profiles. "I thought this was supposed to be 'Wagon Train to the Stars,'" said Jay. "It looks more like 'Tits in Space.'" "That's the subtext," Tom replied. "Those--" Jay reached up to the monitor and cupped the brunette's most noteworthy assets. "--are not subtext." "I know but that's our story and we're sticking to it." He leaned into the microphone. "Nurses, face front, please!" The women struck new poses in the direction of the camera. "What do you think of the hairdo on Chalice?" Tom asked. "Which one's Chalice?" "The redhead." "Are you sure? I thought she was Chastain." "No, Chastain is the brunette." "Then who's the blonde?" "She's uh..." Tom leaned into the microphone. "Blonde nurse! Who are you playing?" The young woman stepped forward, trying not to stagger under the weight of her mountainous bouffant. "Cherish," she said. "Cherish?" Tom looked down at his clipboard. "That's not even on the list." Tucking the photos under her arm, Julie went to the two men and showed them an updated call sheet. "There," she said. "The censor made us change it." With a weary sigh, Tom drew a line through the objectionable name and penciled in "Cherish" as Julie left the control booth. "That censor's crazy!" Jay called after her. Turning to Tom, he added, "I think Cherry's a lovely name." *** Julie squared her shoulders as she approached the trailer that Gene had commandeered as his office. Since the female captain had been her idea, he had agreed to allow her some input into the casting but that had been the last thing they'd agreed on. Everyone she liked wasn't bitchy enough for him and everyone he liked had "evil temptress" written all over her. Just an hour earlier, they'd nearly come to blows over Joan Collins. "But, Julie, she's a name! Do you know how lucky we'd be to get her?" "Gene, I can't imagine anyone following her into outer space. Hell, I wouldn't follow her into the ladies room. The crew of the starship has to love her, they have to trust her, she has to have warmth!" "She can do warmth, I promise you." Gene turned and waved to the woman lounging in the director's chair. Smiling broadly, he called out, "Miss Collins, you can do warmth, can't you?" "How hot do you want it, darling?" the devil in the blue dress purred. "See?" He beamed at Julie. "No, Gene. She can play Jamocha's evil cousin Alexis or Hitler's girlfriend when we do the time travel episode but she cannot play the captain." While Gene broke the sad news to Miss Collins and consoled her in his office for forty-five minutes, Julie had called a dozen casting agents and begged them to send over more potential captains. Now the new arrivals were lining up near the trailer and she gave them an encouraging smile as she approached. "Thank you for coming by on such short notice, ladies. Our producer, Mr. Roddenberry, will be--" "All right, who have you got for me?" Gene stepped out of the trailer, eagerly rubbing his hands together. "Harry Mudd's office just sent these ladies to read for us." "I hope one of them is our captain or we're going to have a very tough time when we start shooting tomorrow morning. Now let's see." A stylish woman with soft, red hair stepped forward and shook his hand firmly. "Hello, Mr. Roddenberry," she said, her Southern accent rolling softly over the syllables of his name. "I'm the captain of your spaceship." Julie looked the woman over carefully. She was on the small side, no more than five-five. Her simply cut dress drew no attention to her figure, which Julie's keen scrutiny told her was probably a wise choice. The colorful scarf draped around her throat further served to draw attention away from her body and up toward her face, which although not exactly attractive was nonetheless striking in its warmth and intelligence. You put yourself right out there, Julie thought admiringly, without waiting for Gene to come to you. Good move. You might just be the one. She turned to Gene and her heart sank as she saw that he, too, had drawn a quick conclusion about the woman. "Oh, I'm sorry, dear," he said as he removed his hand from hers. "You're just not right for this part." "How do you know, Mr. Roddenberry?" she replied. "You haven't heard me read yet." "No, but we're looking for someone to play the captain of a spaceship." He put his arm around her waist and led her toward the exit. "You're just a little too feminine. We're looking for someone stronger." "I can be strong. How's this? Take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth. Was that strong enough for you?" Everyone within earshot had turned to watch the exchange and Julie saw that she wasn't alone in marveling at a woman who could lecture "Hotrod Roddenberry" into a corner. And all without raising her voice. Or her knee. "I know what you're looking for, Mr. Roddenberry," the woman continued. "You're looking for a gross caricature of a woman to make some idiotic point about powerful women being unattractive or a woman having to give up her femininity if she's to be regarded as a figure of authority. Well, shame on you. And shame on any woman who lets you do that to her. Good day, Mr. Roddenberry." She turned on her heel and left the set. Julie looked around at the gaping crew and realized that she was letting the moment of destiny slip past. "Don't do a thing until I get back!" she snarled at Gene as she shoved the stack of photos into his hands. She ran out to the parking lot and saw the woman hurl her handbag into the passenger seat of a convertible. "You! You, Miss--" The woman took a moment before she turned to Julie. Then she patted her hair into place and smiled calmly, giving no indication of the anger to which she'd subjected her purse. "Daphne Howard," she said. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Howard. I'm Julie Morgan, Mr. Roddenberry's assistant. Was that for real back there or were you auditioning for the part?" Miss Howard cocked her head. The gesture was both sly and ingenuous, and Julie decided they'd found their captain before she even heard the equally artful reply. "Which answer will get me a reading, Miss Morgan?" Ten minutes later, the captain of the Enterprise was signing her contract. *** The next day while Daphne was being rushed through costume fittings and makeup checks, the company shot around her as best he could. By noon, the costume designer wasn't alone in the urge to scream, although he was the only one who did so. "Oh, God! Get her out of that miniskirt! NOW! NOW! NOW!" "Oh, thank you!" Daphne gasped as she took his hand. "I've been trying to tell them all morning that the captain wouldn't wear a miniskirt." "She would if she had the legs for it, honey. TRELANE! I need more gold fabric!" As his young assistant scurried out, the costume designer paced around Daphne, sighing and tut-tutting. "If I may, Claudio--" Daphne began. "It's Mr. Marcus to you, dear. Only pretty people get to call me Claudio. TRELANE! Where is that giggling twit? I'm thinking a bias cut might work although...DAMN! What was Gene thinking of when he hired an actress with bad legs and no ass?" "Perhaps the same thing he was thinking of when he hired a rude, foul- mouthed costume designer," Daphne replied. "Look, dear, don't get huffy with me or it's back to the miniskirt." Trelane returned, carrying a bolt of gold velour. "They want to know when she'll be ready to shoot!" "I'd gladly shoot her right now," Claudio muttered. "And why the hell is she wearing combat boots? High heels. I was very specific about that. Black leather boots with high heels." With a regal toss of his head, he stormed out of the room. Eyes shining, Trelane gushed, "Isn't it exciting?" and ran after his boss. Daphne turned to the costume mistress and said, "Mrs. Eymorg, is it realistic for the captain to dress like a dominatrix?" The woman took the pins out of her mouth and lit a cigarette. "It's the future, dear. Be glad they used all the silver cellophane on the nurses." [End part 2] -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Sat Apr 24 23:58:17 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n12.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.67]) by condor (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bhAKg15i3NZFjK0 for ; Sat, 24 Apr 2004 20:55:56 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13464-1082865287-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yah