Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Wed, 21 Apr 2004 04:11:50 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: Jungle Kitty Title: Backwards and In High Heels Author: Jungle Kitty Contact: kittyjungle @ earthlink . net Series: TOS Posted: 4/20/2004 Part: 3/5 Codes: Various characters including real people, humor Rating: PG Feedback: Yes, please. See part 1 for summary, disclaimers, and acknowledgements. *** BACKWARDS AND IN HIGH HEELS, part 3 (c) 2001-2004 Jungle Kitty "Well, Julie, this is it. The big day." Julie looked over at Gene as they entered the studio screening room. During the four weeks they'd spent in post-production, editing the film and adding special effects, his mood had swung wildly from joy to despair, touching every base in between. Today, despite his air of enthusiasm, she knew that he was nervous. If the studio executives didn't buy this version of Star Trek, she was afraid his spirit would be permanently crushed. "I'm sure they'll love it, Gene. The new pilot really shows the essence of everything this series can be--ground-breaking, thoughtful, entertaining. You'll see. They won't pass on it again." "If it is all those things, Julie, it's mostly due to you." "And Daphne Howard." Gene harrumphed uncomfortably. "Yes, Miss Howard. Of course." "We're going to win today, Gene." "Julie, a no-win situation is a possibility that every television producer may face." "I don't believe that, Gene, and neither do you. Not one man in a million could do what you've done...produce a TV show. A hundred decisions a day--hundreds of jobs staked on you making every one of them right." Gene, suddenly puffed up with confidence, made his way down to the four men who would decide the fate of Star Trek. "Julie, that was great," Tom said as he came up behind her. "Did you make that up?" "Some of it. Mostly it came from a fortune cookie." "Let's hope that cookie knew what it was talking about." They settled into two seats at the back of the small theatre as a man in a sharp-cut suit boomed, "Well, we're all here, Gene, and eager to see what you have to show us. So why don't we all take our seats and have a look-see, hmmm?" The lights went down and Tom squeezed Julie's arm as stars began trailing across the screen. The music began with a single eerie note as a softly accented voiceover set the scene. "Space...the final frontier..." *** In the building next door, a "green room" had been set aside for the Star Trek actors to wait for the decision. Trying to look casual, they were milling about and devouring the buffet as fast as they could, with Grace Lee Whitney being the notable exception. She was too excited to eat but not too excited to talk. "Isn't this great? Gosh, I hope the show is picked up. I've never played a nurse before. Nurses are smart, right? I mean, they've gone to school and everything. I've never been invited to one of these before, have you?" "No, but I'm not arguing with it," replied Gary Lockwood who was torn between wanting to get her into bed and wishing she'd shut up. "Did you see the champagne?" DeForest Kelley asked as he breezed by, English muffin in hand. "It's the good stuff. Do you think anyone would mind if we opened it early?" "It might be bad luck," said Leonard Nimoy. His voice was still a little hoarse from shouting his lines all through his performance as Spock. He hoped the studio would spring for a voice coach or he'd be mute by mid- season. That is, if the show were picked up. "We'd better wait until the studio says yes to the pilot. Don't you agree, Daphne?" He turned to the woman whose performance had transformed the entire show. "Oh, why, yes, I think we should wait. But you don't really think they'll pick it up, do you? After all, there's already an outer space show on another network." "Gene's assistant seems very positive about our chances," Nichelle Nichols said. "No one is supposed to know this, but Desi Arnaz himself looked at some of the rushes and was very impressed." "What?" "That's right," Jimmy Doohan piped up. "I hear it's in the bag." "Daphne, are you all right?" Nichelle went to her and took her arm. "You look like you're going to faint." "I think I'd better sit down for a minute." As Nichelle led Daphne to small sofa in the corner, George Takei murmured, "You don't think she's pregnant, do you?" "God, I hope not," replied Nimoy. "This is the first shot I've had at a regular paycheck in months." *** In the screening room, Julie leaned forward to watch the captain's first entrance. She remembered how upset Daphne had been when she'd received the last minute changes right before they began shooting the scene. "Mr. Roddenberry!" she had accosted the producer. "It says here that Mr. Spock kisses the captain." "Yes, that's right. He kisses all the women." "But--" "That's his character, Miss Howard. As a half-Vulcanian, he's in a constant state of emotional and sexual turmoil." "But--" "PLACES! PLACES, EVERYONE!" Jay hollered as he walked through. "But, Mr. Roddenberry, doesn't it seem, well, ridiculous for an officer to kiss his captain hello?" "Look, sweetie, I'd love to stand here and explain it to you, but we'll be on overtime if we don't shoot this right now. So get up on the transporter platform and do the scene, all right?" Daphne had taken her place and now, as Julie looked up at the screen, her pulse raced with anticipation and anxiety. She thought the scene was great and she'd even managed to convince Gene of that, but now it had to stand on its own. As the captain materialized on the platform in a shimmer of gold, Julie felt a shiver of pride. That shimmer--expensive and difficult to get just right--was worth the hour-long argument with Gene who had originally wanted a puff of smoke. Onscreen, the captain stepped down to the main level where she was greeted by her first officer, played by Gary Lockwood at his lazy, arrogant best. "Welcome aboard, Captain." "Thank you, Mister...?" "Mitchell, ma'am. Commander Slate Mitchell. May I present the senior staff? Ship's surgeon Dr. Remington McCoy, engineer Storm Scott, physicist Lancelot Sulu, and science officer Spock. If you'd care to sign the log, ma'am..." He handed her a clipboard and as she signed, Spock stepped forward and shouted, "I HEARD ABOUT YOUR EXPLOITS AT THE BATTLE OF SPACEPORT CHARLES, MA'AM! I WAS MOST IMPRESSED!" "Thank you, Mr. Spock." "I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SERVING UNDER YOU, MA'AM!" As he put his arms around the captain and moved in for the kiss, she raised the clipboard and rapped him on the forehead. Luckily, the movement was big enough and surprising enough that no one noticed the Vulcanian's ears flying off. Nimoy, ever the professional, turned away from the camera and hunched down as if in pain. "I'm afraid, Mr. Spock, that if you want to us to have a successful working relationship, you'll have to deal with my mind and not my lips. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a starship to run." The doors opened and shut--ssst! ssst! (inexpensive but wonderfully effective)--as the captain left the transporter room. "A star is born," Tom whispered. *** Back in the green room, the newborn star turned to the wall as she pressed a phone to her ear. "Mudd's Women," a voice chirped. "Tops in Talent." "This is Daphne Howard. I need to speak to Harry." "Oh, Daphne, I hear you're wonderful in the outer space thing. We're all so excited for you!" "Put Harry on!" "I'm sorry, Harry can't be disturbed. He's trying to find two girls to play saxophone and bow fiddle for a gig in Florida. Do you know anyone?" "Don't talk to me about Florida, Evie! This is an emergency! I have to talk to Harry NOW!" *** Twenty minutes into the show and Julie could feel the growing excitement in the screening room. She'd been right! They were ready for a woman in a position of authority! Thank heavens for Daphne. What Julie hadn't managed to slip into the scripts, Daphne had improvised, and with the budget constraints, there was rarely time for retakes. Between them, they'd created a complicated and appealing female character. It was truly a television first and now, as they watched Mr. Spock drag the beautiful stowaway into the captain's quarters, Julie was practically bouncing in her seat. "Now, my dear, what's your name?" the captain asked. "Mary Smith," the frightened young woman replied. "SHE TOLD ME IT WAS JONES, MA'AM!" "Well, Miss Smith or Miss Jones, you have illegally stowed away aboard my ship." "I had to! You don't know what it's like at home! I wanted to see the galaxy! I'm tired of being--being--" "STATE WHAT YOU'RE TIRED OF BEING!" "Mr. Spock, please," the captain said. "Now what's so horrible at home, dear?" "I'm nothing there! I'm just supposed to sit around and look pretty and never go anywhere or do anything, unless the son of the one of the board of directors wants me to, and if I say I'd rather read a book, Daddy gets so angry and says, 'Zephyr, if you--'" The young lady gasped, realizing her mistake too late. "Zephyr?" Jamocha repeated. "Are you Zephyr Cochrane, runaway heiress to the Cochrane Industries fortune?" "Oh, please don't send me back!" "Well, Miss Cochrane, I--" "CAPTAIN! I SUGGEST THAT MISS COCHRANE STAY ON!" "In what capacity, Mr. Spock?" "I'M SURE I CAN FIND DUTIES FOR HER IN MY QUARTERS!" Jamocha eyed him coolly. "I'm sure you can. Very well, Miss Cochrane, you can remain on board...as my yeoman." "VERY GOOD, MA'AM, I'LL--huh?" "Yes. I think it's awfully strange that I don't have anyone to keep my reports in order, don't you, Mr. Spock? It's the perfect job for a bright, ambitious young lady like Miss Cochrane. And if it works out, Zephyr--may I call you Zephyr?--if it works out, maybe you'll be promoted." "CAPTAIN, I MUST PROTEST! I AM A VULCANIAN!" "Yes, Mr. Spock, I know all about Vulcanians and their need for constant attention from beautiful women. But it would be ridiculous to take a young girl who has shown initiative and courage by leaving a home where she isn't being allowed to develop her full potential and turn her over to an alien twice her age to be his personal geisha. I'm sure it's illegal and if it isn't, it should be. I intend to take it up with the authorities. In fact, Miss Cochrane, that's your first assignment. Call the Commander-in-Chief and ask him if Mr. Spock is allowed to keep a concubine in his quarters. You're dismissed, Mr. Spock." "BUT--BUT I--" "I said dismissed, Mr. Spock!" *** "What are you talking about, get you out of it?" "That's right, Harry!" Daphne growled into the phone. "Get me out of it! They're saying it's going to picked up by the network!" "I can't get you out of it, there's no way out of it, it's a one-way option. Theirs." "What are you talking about? Who gave them that?" "You did. You signed the standard contract." "Harry, you don't understand! My whole life is a mess because of this! Janice knows something is up--" "Janice? Who's Janice?" "Janice Lester. My friend from acting class. Don't you remember? She was very upset at not getting this part. It was sad really--she kept crying and saying, 'I'll never be the captain. Never be the captain.' So I went to the audition to prove to her that they wouldn't recognize talent if it bit them but I didn't think I'd get the part! How can I tell her they hired me? She has no self-confidence anyway and if she finds out that I'm a better woman than she is--" "You're not making any sense." "Just get me out of this! Because if you don't, I'm going to go in there and tell them--" "Tell them what? That you've been making fools out of them? We're talking major fraud here. You can't do it. You gotta find a way to make it work." *** Meanwhile in the screening room, all eyes were glued on Captain Kirk, who had just entered sickbay and was about to take another giant leap for womankind. "What is going on here, gentlemen?" she asked. "Captain, I'm questioning this nurse about the allegations she's made," Dr. McCoy replied. "Now, Miss Cherish, are you sure your assailant looked like me?" "Yes, Doctor. It was you!" "THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE! THE DOCTOR WAS WITH ME AT THE TIME!" "Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, have you lost your minds?" Jamocha put herself between them and the startled nurse. "I can hardly even believe what I'm seeing! This unfortunate young woman has been sexually assaulted and now she's being interrogated by two men, one of them the accused!" "I--I--I never laid a hand on her, Daphne--I mean Jamocha! It was an alien who beamed aboard...or something...I think...it could be..." "That doesn't matter! You're the accused, and I want some security men in here right now to confine you to your quarters. And yes, maybe we will learn that we have an alien intruder aboard who looks just like you, and if that should prove to be the case, I'll declare a red alert, no, make that a double red alert, and we'll hunt him down and string up him by his shape-shifting badoobies, but in the mean time, I don't want you anywhere near this poor, traumatized woman." Daphne had delivered the lecture with such heartfelt indignation that Julie had been moved to tears the day it was filmed. Now, she raised her hands to applaud but before she could do so, she became aware of someone kneeling down beside her chair. "Excuse me, Miss Morgan," the projectionist whispered. "I've got bad news." *** Panic-charged adrenaline pumped through Julie's veins as she and Tom emerged from the executive building. "Then we're agreed, right?" she said. "I'll get the actors and you--" "No, we're not agreed! I think we should tell Gene." "Tom, if it was just a matter of telling Gene, I'd say yes. But he's sitting with the Desilu programming executives! Do you want them to know that the pilot they're watching doesn't have an ending?" "It *has* an ending! The film is just temporarily misplaced. Can't we ask them to take a short break while we look for it?" "No! We'll look like screw-ups and no one buys a pilot from a bunch of screw-ups. Tom, they like what they're seeing! I could feel it. We can't risk destroying the momentum! With a little bit of luck and a lot of hustle, we can make this work! NOW GO!" *** Daphne's knuckles were white as she clutched the phone. "Now, listen, Harry, I don't care what it takes--" The door slammed open and Julie rushed into the green room. "Attention, everyone! We have an emergency!" she shouted. "The film of the last scene has been misplaced so we're going to run down to the set and do it live!" "Live? We can't do that!" Doohan howled. "Yes, you can. You have to. One or two of you have had theatrical training, haven't you?" "I was in a school play once," Grace said cheerily. "There you go! Luckily the costumes haven't been put into storage yet so--" "Are the executives coming down to the set to watch us do the scene?" asked Kelley. "No, we're going to broadcast it directly into the screening room. They'll never know the difference. Now quick, quick like bunnies! You have seventeen minutes to get into costume! Dress uniforms for the captain's birthday party!" "But my ears take over an hour to put on!" Nimoy cried. "Leonard, just stick 'em on the best you can. Now get going!" For a long moment, Daphne stared at the telephone in her hand. She could hear Harry squawking, "You can't tell them! Do you hear me? DO YOU?" She hung up the phone and went to Nimoy and Kelley, whose stunned expressions explained their immobility. Linking her arms in theirs, she pulled them toward the door. "Daphne, are you smiling?" Kelley asked. "You can't be happy about this!" "Well, gentlemen, we all have to take a chance. Especially if one is all you have." [End part 3] -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? 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