Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 23 Apr 2004 17:58:49 -0700 In: alt.startrek.creative From: whoa_nellie40@hotmail.com (whoa nellie) Title: Here There Be Q-nicorns Author: Whoa Nellie (whoa_nellie40@hotmail.com) Series: TNG Repost 1/6 Rating: NC-17 Codes: P/Vash, Q Synopsis: On the eve of Picard and Vash's first anniversary Q shows up to bestow a gift. He changes Vash into a virgin and throws the couple into a medieval adventure complete with knights, castle and dragons. Author's Note: Feel free to archive to any pertinent site. In preparation to play in our Double Entendre universe in the coming year, we're reposting the stories from that universe as a refresher (or introduction to those who haven't read our earlier work). These stories have been polished up a bit, but they are still are earliest pieces from when we began writing nearly a decade ago. Edited-down versions of most of our stories can be found through our author page at fanfiction.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=85355 As always: Paramount owns all the marbles, we just have a lot more fun playing with them. Feedback is always appreciated - posted or e-mail. Whoa Nellie's Picard/Vash Romance Fan Fiction website is at: http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Galaxy/7926/ Whoa Nellie's Sci-Fi Romance Fan Fiction website is at: http://www.geocities.com/whoa_nellies2000/ Here There Be Q-nicorns "Jean-Luc, could you please undo this for me?" Vash Picard sighed plaintively to her husband. The couple had just returned to their quarters on the Enterprise E after an evening of dinner and dancing on Starbase 219 to celebrate their first anniversary. Captain Jean-Luc Picard turned to see his lovely wife standing next to their bed struggling with the top clasp on the back of her evening gown. The long column of black velvet skimmed the feminine curves of her delicate frame. The slit that ran up the right side of the skirt to mid-thigh revealed a generous length of leg with her every step. Making his way over to stand behind her, Picard replied in his deepest bedroom baritone, "Of course, ma chere. It would be my pleasure." Vash's hands dropped to her sides as Jean-Luc began to unfasten the clasps. He nudged beneath a curtain of shoulder-length, brown hair to nuzzle the sensitive skin on the back of her neck. Her senses stirred as he trailed feathery kisses from the nape of her neck to just under her right earlobe. As he nibbled and toyed with her ear, she could feel him gently pull on her crystal-drop earring. With a giggle, she admonished him, "If you're not careful, Johnny, you're going to choke on that earring." "Not to worry," Picard chuckled softly against her neck as his hands finally reached last clasp of her gown at the small of her back. Drawing in a deep breath, he savored the sweet scent that always lingered in her silky, brunette hair. He slipped his hands inside her dress, encircling her tiny waist to caress her satiny skin. The warmth from his large hands as they tenderly stroked her skin caused a shiver of excitement to race down Vash's spine. However, she had something else planned for the evening. "Thank you, Jean-Luc. I can handle it from here." "You're so beautiful. I've been looking forward to making long, slow, passionate love to you all evening," he murmured determinedly into the soft skin of her neck. "At ease, Captain," Vash teased, as she quickly pulled away from his hands and spun to face him. With his sleek, muscular build, steel-grey eyes, and chiseled features, Jean-Luc looked quite dashing as he stood there in full dress uniform. Holding her gown up, she continued, "I've been saving something special for tonight and I would at least like the chance to put it on." Picard's gaze trailed over every curve of her shapely silhouette before returning to her vivid blue eyes. Giving her his most suave smile, he mused, "I have no idea why you bother with things that are going to end up in a heap on the floor next to our bed in a matter of minutes." "Just consider them various tests of your response time, darling," she quipped, patting his shoulder before heading off to the bathroom to change. As she passed the dresser, she noticed the vase that held the dozen red roses he had sent her that afternoon. She paused at the bathroom door, "I meant to thank you for the gorgeous roses." "You're quite welcome," Picard called to her as she disappeared into the bathroom. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he continued, "I noticed you had them in here." "Did you also notice something else about this evening, or actually the lack of something else this evening?" Vash asked. "Lack of something?" he inquired, sounding bewildered. "No interruptions. Not one single, solitary hail from the bridge all evening. It can be done!" she called triumphantly from the bathroom. "It may have taken me a year, but I finally figured out how to have you all to myself." "If I may be so bold as to ask, how did you arrange that?" Vash sounded very pleased with herself as she explained, "It was so simple really. While I was talking to Will earlier today, I steered the conversation toward the subject of the constant interruptions you and I seem to face. I told him that I bet we would not make it through tonight without you getting at least one hail. You and I both know the one thing Will Riker can't pass up is a good wager. So, I bet Will one bottle of Chateau Picard that either he or someone else on the ship would call you before the night was over. It was a bet I was counting on Will making sure he won." Picard sat on the edge of the bed, completely astounded for a moment. Vash had purposely set out to make that wager with Will. She knew it would become a matter of personal pride for Will to keep Picard himself from receiving any interruptions. This woman could talk a Ferengi into giving up all of his profits. "Vash, that was shrewd, cunning, not to mention totally Machiavellian." A smile of admiration pulled at his lips as he finished, "And absolutely brilliant!" "I try," she replied just before she finally emerged from the bathroom. "Sacre bleu'," Picard gasped under his breath as he saw Vash poised in the bathroom doorway wearing a babydoll negligee and matching panties of the palest pink. Thin straps and lace covered satin barely contained the lush roundness of her breasts. A double layer of pale pink chiffon falling from just below her bustline to her upper thigh made for a diaphanous veil over her feminine curves. The sight was a dizzying blend of naughty and nice. He let his gaze travel down the shapely length of her legs before returning to her face. In a deep, resonating whisper, he marveled, "You're simply the most alluring woman I've ever seen." "Thank you," Vash said quietly, flushing slightly at the intensity of his gaze and the warm timbre of his voice. Suddenly feeling shy, she demurely averted her eyes and made her way over to the dresser to idly toy with the roses. As she distracted herself with the flowers, Picard took the opportunity to study Vash. Her hair fell in a soft cascade to her shoulders, framing her rose-petal lips and the flutter of her dark lashes. Her delicate features were highlighted by the warm blush that colored the ivory skin of her cheeks. Her bashful response to his praise combined with the way the sweet nothing of a negligee charmingly revealed more than it concealed gave her an air of innocent sexuality. All at once, he pictured her as a young woman giving herself to a lover for the first time. 'Now there is an intriguing notion.' Picard thought. Vash was such a passionate lover. To have seen her take the first steps toward discovering that passion would have been an extraordinary experience. "Vash," Picard gently beckoned as he stood up and walked over to stand next to her. Tenderly, he cupped her chin in his hand and drew her gaze up to his. He stared down into her blue eyes, saying softly, "Je t'aime." "Je t'aime," Vash managed to whisper back just before his lips captured hers in an impassioned kiss. Jean-Luc moved his hand to the back of her head, entangling it in her hair, pushing her lips closer to his and deepening the kiss. His tongue plunged past her lips, claiming everything in its path. As her lips and tongue responded ardently to his, Vash's arms slipped around his neck. Jean-Luc had one powerful arm wrapped tightly around her waist, holding her as her body melted against his. The clean, masculine scent of his aftershave and the sensation of the rough wool of his dress uniform through the flimsy fabric of her negligee threatened to completely undo her. The couple didn't even notice the bright flash of light in the room. An acerbic voice sounded in the room, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." As Vash let out a alarmed gasp, Picard broke off the embrace and spun to face the intruder, "Who the hell . . ." "Just moi," Q called out. "Q," Picard huffed in disgust. "Bonjour, Mon Capitaine, Madame Picard," Q greeted them cheerfully. From behind him, Vash peered over Jean-Luc's shoulder. Quickly recovering her composure, she quipped, "I suppose just killing him is out of the question." "But, Madame, I come bearing a wedding gift," the entity implored. "You leaving would be gift enough," Picard stated flatly. Vash sighed with annoyance and leaned against the dresser. "Ooh la la," Q crowed, staring past Picard at the very, scantily clad Vash. As she crossed her arms protectively in front of herself, he added with a salacious leer, "I most certainly did interrupt something." "Merde!" Picard cursed, ripping off his dress uniform jacket as he turned back to Vash. Using his body to block Q's view, he helped her slip on the jacket and quickly fasten it up. He was immensely grateful that he had chosen to wear the long crimson dress jacket rather than the shorter, white dinner jacket. With his jacket hitting her at mid-thigh, leaving her long legs exposed, she still appeared very seductive. 'At least it covers the rest of her.' Picard thought to himself. As much as she tried, Vash could not quite hide a small smile that tugged at her lips. Answering Jean-Luc's questioning look, she explained, "I've never seen you take this jacket off so fast." "He's had more than enough of a show for tonight," Picard grumbled before turning his attention back to Q. "Go away, Q." The entity ignored him. Instead, he cooed, "Oh Vash, I'm hurt. You never dressed, or should I say undressed, for me that way." "I'm sorry, darling," Vash told Jean-Luc calmly as she took the roses out of the vase and laid them on the dresser. Picking up the vase, she turned to face Q. "Get out, you despicable, wretched, intergalactic, peeping Tom!" The vase hurled through the air toward Q, impacting on the wall behind him in a thunderous explosion of glass shards and water. Q looked back at the wall and then at Vash. Sounding very amused, he told her, "Impressive, my dear. You went from sex kitten to hell cat in the blink of an eye. And I thought I was the quick-change artist around here." Reaching up, Vash tapped the communicator on Jean-Luc's jacket, "Picard to security." "Now, you really didn't think I would allow that did you?" Q sighed when no response came to the hail. With a snap of his fingers, the entity reinstated the vase and roses to their original condition on the dresser. Vash glanced back at the restored roses. Throwing her hands up in resignation, she huffed, "Okay boys, that's it! I'm not playing anymore." Q watched as Vash went over and sat on the bed. He turned back to Picard and chuckled, "She certainly is quick to throw your name around, mon Capitaine." "It now happens to be her name as well," the captain reminded Q. "So it is," the entity nodded. As he eyed Vash sitting on the bed attired in Picard's jacket, he smirked, "Right now, she makes your uniform more appealing than you ever did. If you ask me, that would make Starfleet a sublime recruitment poster." "I didn't ask," Picard answered curtly. "Is there a point to this little visit, Q, or are you here just to leer at my wife?" Q chuckled conspiratorially, as if speaking man to man. "If ogling Vash was the point of my visit, I would have waited before appearing. I mean, how much longer could it have taken you to remove that little pink number?" Quickly losing patience with the situation, Picard snapped, "Your point, Q!" "As I said earlier, I come bearing a gift," Q reminded him gleefully. Feigning embarrassment, he added, "I was simply chagrined that I let the big day slip by with out an acknowledgment. And I know exactly what you want, Jean-Luc." Picard huffed in frustration, "Q, there is absolutely nothing that I want from you." "Oh but there is, mon Capitaine. A flight of fancy only I can carry out for you." "I have no idea what 'flight of fancy' you could possibly be blathering about," Picard retorted. "Why, the little daydream you were so enjoying, inspired by Vash's apparel or lack there of," Q sneered. Sighing with annoyance, Vash asked, "Q, just how long have you been spying on us?" "Long enough to know that you were worried Johnny might just swallow your earring," Q informed her. His tone turned conspiratorial, "But wouldn't you rather know exactly what the hubby was fantasizing about?" "After you leave, I'll just ask him," she answered matter of factly. "Trust me. My way will be much more fun," Q responded cheerfully. Turning his attention back to Picard, he taunted, "So Captain, are you ready to go where no man has gone before?" "What the devil . . ." Picard grumbled, wondering what Q was referring to. The entity had obviously been intruding upon the privacy of his thoughts. He glanced over at Vash. All of a sudden, he recalled the sight of her standing there in the delicate negligee and how he had imagined her as if she was giving herself to a lover for the first time. His expression darkened with anger, Q couldn't possibly mean . . . "By Jove, I think he's got it!" Q crowed, rocking back and forth on his heels. Picard glared menacingly at the entity. It was one thing for Q to put him through these little tests, including Vash was something else entirely. He hissed, "Stay away from my wife, Q! And forget whatever twisted game you are plotting!" Rising off the bed, Vash made her way to her husband's side. She reached up and gently laid her hand on his cheek, "Calm down and unclench your jaw. He's simply trying to get a rise out of you." "No, my little turtledove, I believe that's your job," Q smirked. "Let it go, Jean-Luc. He's not worth it." With her hand resting on his upper arm, Vash tried to soothe her now seething husband. "Having him on my ship is bad enough. Having him peering in my head and in our bedroom is intolerable," Picard ground out. "I know," Vash nodded. Turning to face Q, she asked wearily, "Am I to presume that I'm about to be, once again, cast as the helpless, fragile damsel-in-distress in yet another little charade of yours?" "Don't blame me," Q protested. "It is your dear husband who is entertaining fantasies about being the one to have claimed your maidenhood." "My maidenhood?" Vash sounded baffled for a moment. Then she realized what Q was saying. In astonishment, Vash glanced over her shoulder at her husband. "Were you really fantasizing about taking my virginity?" "I wouldn't call it a fantasy. It was more like a passing whim," Picard offered in explanation, his mood softened by his amusement at her surprise. "I see," she cooed in reply. Unable to help herself from following this further, she turned to face Jean-Luc. She reached up and splayed her hands across the expanse of his chest, feeling the hard muscles through his tunic. As she stared up into his grey eyes with a come-hither expression, her tone was flirtatious. "And this whimsy of yours, does it entail you seducing and ravishing my untouched, virginal body as you introduce me to the carnal pleasures of the flesh?" "Absolutely," he chuckled softly as he returned her gaze and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Does that shock you?" "No, not really," she answered with a coy smile. "But, it has been a awhile since I've been able to see a unicorn." "In case the two of you have forgotten, I'm still here," Q huffed in contempt. Picard forced himself to drag his eyes from his wife and turn his attention back to the very powerful entity. "Believe me, Q, I'm aware you're here, painfully aware." "Splendid. I must admit my curiosity has been peeked. What do unicorns, a fictional Terran beast, have to do with any of this?" Q asked. "So much for omnipotence," Vash giggled. Turning around in Jean-Luc's arms, she leaned back against his chest and explained to Q, "In Earth mythology, Unicorns represent purity. According to medieval European folklore, the unicorn could only be seen by a virgin." "How fascinating!" Q declared happily just before a blinding flash lit the room. ................................. End Part 1 -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! 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