Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:41:23 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 4/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** "How are we doing time-wise?" Rocky asks. "Considering it's been three hours so far and we're only at the halfway mark, I'd say about the same as usual," Seema says. "You think maybe we could speed things up a little?" Rocky rolls her eyes. "Trying to get any of these characters to do exactly what we want is almost impossible. They've all got minds of their own." "Don't I know it," Seema says. "Sometimes they can just go on and on, adding pages of dialogue when you all you want is to get to the action already! But just remember, if simple persuasion won't work--" "There's always Big Betsey," Rocky says, nodding. "I'll get right on it." "You do that," Seema says, watching Rocky go off. "I'd almost feel sorry for the TNG people," Seema mutters, "if I wasn't more afraid that Picard is just going to talk her to death." Vic Fontaine has been swapping jokes with the audience during the commercial break. "Oh, we're back?" Geordi La Forge, looking very dapper dressed all in black and sporting a stylish goatee comes out on stage. "I'm here to present the awards for TNG Drabbles. You know, there's nothing like a good drabble to show an example of engineering at its finest, because every single word counts for so much--" Geordi breaks off as his enhanced artificial eye detects some peripheral motion off to the right, in the form of a large phaser rifle being aimed directly at his head. "But I'm sure you know all that already," he says hastily, "so on with the show." Rocky smiles and pats Big Betsey before slinging the rifle over her shoulder once more. "First place for TNG Drabbles goes to 'Hitch' by Alex Voy." "Second place for TNG Drabbles goes to 'Watch Where You're Aiming!' by Lyrastar." "Third place for TNG Drabbles goes to 'Repetition' by Cait N." As Geordi exists to a round of applause, Vic greets the next pair of presenters. "For a moment there, boys, I thought I was seeing double!" "This is my brother, B-4," Data informs Vic. "Crazy," Vic says approvingly. "I never knew you had an 'evil twin', Data." "No, that is Lore," Data says. "And considering the circumstances of our last meeting, I do not anticipate his showing up here tonight." B-4 chooses this moment to push his fingers into Vic's face. "Why does my hand go through you?" "That is because he is a holographic projection," Data says. "B-4, it is not polite to stick your hand through people." "Why?" "Because they do not appreciate such things." "Why?" "Never mind," Data says, a bit wearily. "Mr. Fontaine, I apologize for the actions of my brother." "It's okay," Vic says breezily. "You know the old expression, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." "I know another version of that expression," B-4 says brightly. "You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's--" "We must be going, B-4," Data says, pulling him along. "Thanks for the sage advice, pal," Vic says, amused. Onstage, B-4 looks around at the audience. "Say hello to the nice people," Data coaches. "Hello, nice people," B-4 says. "Do you know why we are here tonight, B-4?" "Yes." "To--" Data coaxes him "Give out awards for TNG General Story," B-4 says. "That's right," Data says, and pulls out an envelope. "What is an award?" "It is a sign of recognition, that someone has done a good job," Data says. "I do not get any awards when I do a good job," B-4 says. "But we tell you when you have done something correctly," Data says. "But I never get any rewards!" B-4 says. His face puckers up as if he is about to burst into tears. "I will give you a reward when we get home," Data says hastily. "Now, I must present the--" "Can I meet the General?" B-4 asks eagerly. "I would like that for my reward!" "What General?" Data asks, puzzled. "General Story. Isn't he here?" "There is no general," Data says, patiently. "'General' in this case refers to a non-specific category of stories--never mind, I will explain later. Right now, just stand up straight and be very quiet." "OK," says B-4. "I can do that. I can be very quiet. I can be so very quiet, no one will even know that I am here--" Data claps a hand over B-4's mouth then opens the envelope. "First place for TNG General Story goes to 'The Institute' by Ventura33." "Second place for TNG General Story goes to 'Letting Down the Race' by Ventura33." Data turns to B-4. "Would you like to do the last one?" "No," says B-4, "I am being very quiet now." Data clears his throat. "Third place for TNG General Story goes to 'April Q' by Alara Rogers." The band begins to play as the presenters and winners exit. The overhead loudspeaker says, "To present the award for TNG General Pairing, Commander William T. Riker, and Commander Deanna Troi!" Riker and Troi come out. He is wearing his white dress uniform. She is in a peach dress. Riker flashes a big smile at the crowd. "Though technically, it should be 'Captain and Mrs. Riker', right, Deanna?" "Or Commander and Mister Troi," she says sweetly. Riker acknowledges the thrust. "I've always liked that dress on you, Deanna. Isn't that the one you wore at our wedding in Alaska?" "It's certainly not what I had on for the Betazoid ceremony a few weeks later," she says with a laugh. "Network standards and all. Now if this was being broadcast on cable..." There is a disappointed 'oh' from the audience. Riker hastily changes the subject. "Well, I think it's very appropriate that we are here tonight to present this award, considering how long we've been together. How many years has it been?" "That depends," Deanna says, "whether or not you count all those years on the Enterprise-D, when you were off chasing alien babes of the week--" "--and you were involved with Worf?" Riker says pointedly. "Exactly," says Deanna. "It certainly took us long enough to finally come to our senses." "Way too long, my Imzadi," Riker agrees. The two share a kiss, before Riker pulls out the envelope. "First place for TNG General Pairing goes to 'Pistol Packin' Pink' by monkee." Deanna takes the envelope. "Second place for TNG General Pairing goes to 'One of the Living' by Alara Rogers." Together, they say, "Third place for TNG General Pairing goes to 'A Little Bit Of Fun' by Catherine Ellis." Vic comes out and applauds as Riker and Troi exit. "And now for another classic TNG couple, Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Doctor Beverly Crusher, to present the awards for P/C Pairing!" As Crusher walks by, Vic says, "I hope you'll save a dance for me later, doll, at the post-Awards party!" "Wouldn't miss it," says Crusher. She is wearing a soft mint-green gown, her red hair swept up into a French bun. Picard is wearing a white dinner jacket and black bow tie that looks like it could have come straight from a Dixon Hill holonovel. "You're looking particularly lovely tonight, my dear." "Why thank you, Jean-Luc," Beverly says, smiling. "You don't compliment me very often, so when you do, I know you really mean it." "I don't compliment you often?" Picard says in surprise. "That's something I must rectify immediately. But you should know even when I don't say anything, I do notice. In fact, sometimes I just can't take my eyes off you." "You old charmer, you," Beverly says, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "Oh, Jean-Luc, why is it you and I never got together?" "Aside from having breakfast every day?" Picard shakes his head. "You know--" "Yes. Jack, and then his death and your guilt and then your being my commanding officer---" "Not to mention Wesley." "You think Wesley would have objected to our getting together?" Beverly says, clearly shocked at the idea. "I didn't mean that he would object, but that *he* was objec--never mind," Picard says. "Beverly, you know, you're not the CMO on the Enterprise anymore." "And that means what?" she says, her lips curving in a provocative smile. "Let me put it this way, are you doing anything tonight?" Picard asks, leaning over her and cupping her cheek in his hand. "Aside from the dance I promised to Vic?" Beverly asks innocently. "Is the dance really that important?" "Well," she says, making a show of thinking hard, "he is awfully light on his feet, if you know what I mean...no, I guess not." "Good," Picard says. "Then the sooner we present these awards, the sooner we can be away from here." "An excellent idea," Beverly says. She opens the envelope. "First place for Picard/Crusher Pairing goes to 'A Distant Shore' by Seema." Picard takes a turn. "Second place for Picard/Crusher Pairing goes to 'Connections' by Whoa Nellie." Beverly finishes up. "Third place for Picard/Crusher Pairing goes to 'Mistaken Place' by Louise Ellis." Vic chuckles as he watches the two of them prepare to leave, then straightens up. "Uh oh, trouble at two o'clock." Vash glides up to the two would-be lovers. "Jean-Luc, surely you weren't going to dash off without saying hello?" "That sounds like a great plan to me," Beverly says. Her eyes are twin laser scalpels and aimed at the other woman, who is wearing a violet halter dress which leaves her midriff bare. "Vash," Picard says weakly. "You're looking, uh, as splendid as usual." "Thank you," Vash coos. She squeezes his arm, lingering a bit longer than is polite. "You always were such a charmer." "Yes, he is," Beverly says, her arm tightening possessively on Picard's. "Sorry to disappoint you, honey, but we really have to be going now." "Don't trouble yourself, *dear*," says Vash just as sweetly. "I'll see you around, Jean-Luc. Perhaps next time without the extra baggage in tow." Any reply of Picard's is lost as Beverly drags him away. Vash watches them go, an amused smile on her lips, then resumes her walk to center stage, her hips swaying with every step. "Good evening," she says. "I'm delighted to be here to present the awards for Picard Pairing." Her expression leaves no doubt about who she thinks should constitute the other half of that romantic grouping. Vash pulls the envelope out of her waistband. "First place for Picard Pairing goes to 'Interlude' by Rocky." "Second Place for Picard Paring goes to 'Fire And The Rose' by Lori." "And finally, third place for Picard Pairing goes to 'Test Of Focus' by Lori." Vic pulls out a large handkerchief and mops his face. "Whew! That's one catfight averted!" (Offstage, Seven of Nine lifts her head. "Did someone say catsuit? Is it my turn to go on?" "No, no," Rocky says hastily. "We've still got one more category to go in TNG, and then there's all of DS9 to get through first.") Before Vic can announce the next presenter, there is a brilliant flash of light. "How nice, another ASC Awards dinner," Q says, as he surveys the crowd and rubs his hands together in anticipation. "Q!" shouts Picard, as he runs up to the omnipotent being. "What are you doing here?" "Why, I'm here to enjoy the festivities, of course," Q says. "Ratliff always throws a good party." Q glances at Picard's clothes, then down at himself; as usual, he is wearing the uniform of a Starfleet captain. "However, I agree I don't seem to be properly dressed for the part." A wave of the hand, and Q is wearing white tie and tails. "A bit more formal than your attire, but I think this will do just fine, don't you?" "Your outfit is hardly relevant or important," Picard says between gritted teeth. "What matters is--" "Ah, but I remember the last time I showed up naked in one of your venues, Jean-Luc," Q says. "Clothes make the man, you know." He leans in closer and says in a stage whisper audible to the very last row of the audience, "By the way, did you notice you've got lipstick on your collar? An interesting shade, too--not one I'd think would go with a green gown, more like a violet color scheme--" "Q!" says Picard hastily. "I want you to get off my stage!" "Your stage?" Q feigns surprise. "Why, mon capitaine, this is hardly *your* stage. Unless you meant that you were here to present the award for TNG Author?" "As a matter of fact," Picard says, striving to get his temper back under control, "that's exactly what I'm about to do." "Excellent!" Q says. "We'll do it together." "Q..." Picard says, while glancing backstage and making frantic gestures (which are being studiously ignored), "this is hardly the time or the place--" "Nonsense!" Q snaps his fingers and the envelope appears in his hand. "I'll start. First place for TNG Author goes to Alara Rogers." Picard recovers enough to grab the envelope. "Second place for TNG Author goes to Lori." Q snaps his fingers again and the envelope is in his grasp once more. "Third place for TNG Author goes to Seema." "Q," says Picard, shaking his head as they go offstage. "You are the most irritating, annoying, obnoxious, egotistical--" "Oh, Jean-Luc," Q says, "flattery will get you everywhere." He winks at the surprised captain. "But I'm afraid that will have to wait for another time." As Picard watches open-mouthed, Q disappears in another flash of light. *** -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? 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