Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 25 Apr 2004 03:45:24 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: ASC Awards Title: 2003 ASC Awards Dinner Author: Rocky and Seema E-mail: roq@iname.com, seemag1@yahoo.com Part: NEW 7/8 Rating: PG-13 Codes: Everyone, everything, and including a custom-built teak kitchen sink Archive: ASC and BLTS yes, everyone else please ask. Summary: It's the end of the Awards and now it's time to party like it's Website: http://www.angelfire.com/yt/rockyroad/ , http://seema.org **** When the lights come back on, Worf is standing at the podium. He looks very proper in his tuxedo, his hair pulled back in a ponytail. In the front row, E. Michelle Logan pumps her fist at the sight of the Klingon. When Worf speaks, his voice is deep and resonates throughout the auditorium. "I am here to present the Award for Best Combined story," he says. "It is an honor to be here, as others have already stated. I believe I am a natural to present this Award as I have appeared in several incarnations of Trek, not only as myself, but also as my ancestor. And many times, I am on aboard Enterprise, under the command of Captain Picard, and my timing can never be better; something interesting always occurs when I show up." Worf clears his throat. "And with that brief explanation of my presence here at these Awards, I am proud to announce that third place winner for Best Combined story is 'It's Always Fun Until Someone Loses' by Alara Rogers!" "Second place goes to 'ASC Awards Dinner 2002' by Rocky Seema Sara Stephen!" "First place goes to 'Kindred Spirits' by Rocky!" The crowd applauds, and Worf starts to exit stage right, but then changes his mind, and heads left instead, where he runs into Vic Fontaine. "Hey, pally!" Vic greets Worf. "How is it shakin'?" Worf grunts. "I do not have time for this." "Just tryin', my friend." Vic beams and proceeds onto stage, where the crowd erupts into wild applause. Backstage, the Awards staff high fives each other. Vic Fontaine has always been a crowd-pleaser. "Our next award," says Vic, "is for MIS Crossover." A blue flash appears just as the presenter approaches the microphone. From backstage, Rocky stares as what appears to be Jonathan Archer standing at center stage. Archer has a confused, 'deer in the headlights' look on his face. "Oh boy," he gulps. "Archer's giving out this award?" Seema asks, surprised. "Uh, no, he's not on the roster," Rocky says, frantically consulting her PADD. "But he's there now. Who's that next to him?" Seema says. "Looks like Colonel Grat--you know, the Tandoran official in charge of the camp of Suliban way back in the first season," Rocky answers, then quiets to hear what the two men are saying. "Al!" 'Archer' whispers frantically. "Where the hell are we?" "Relax, Sam," says 'Colonel Grat', busily pushing buttons on a brightly colored object that resembles a cross between a kindergarten activity center and a tricorder. "Ziggy says you're in the body of a guy known as Jon Archer, captain of the Enterprise." "Huh?" says 'Archer', or rather, Sam. "I thought Kirk was the captain of the Enterprise. Or was it some French guy with an English accent?" "According to Ziggy, Archer was the first--his ship was the NX-01." Sam looks around frantically. "Any clue what we're supposed to be doing? This doesn't look like a starship." Rocky sighs, then goes on stage. "Excuse me, Dr. Beckett?" Startled at being addressed by his real name, Sam says, "Yes?" Rocky says, "You and your hologram friend Al… Delveccio?" Al nods. Sam whispers, "I think she can see you, Al!" "Of course I can see you," Rocky says. "Anyway, since you appear to have Leaped into our regularly scheduled presenter, your job is to give out the awards for MIS Crossover--stories which cross Trek with some other TV show." "Oh, so that's what this envelope is for!" Sam says gratefully. Al rolls his eyes. "Right," Rocky says, backing off stage once more. Sam opens up the envelope and reads. "First place for Crossover goes to 'Makeover' by Ventura33." "Second place for Crossover goes to 'Unworthy of Assimilation' by Ventura33." "Third place for Crossover goes to 'The Other Side Of The Gate' by Jemima." No sooner than he's done speaking, there is another blue flash. When it clears, Wesley Crusher is standing there. "Uh, does anybody know what just happened?" he asks plaintively. Stumbling off stage in confusion, Wesley nearly trips over Chakotay, who has passed out in front of the giant teak bathtub; meanwhile, Janeway sits nearby in a silky peach nightgown, a satisfied grin on her face. "The plumbing works," Janeway tells Wesley. He looks at the bathroom and nods. "Good to know," he says, and as he continues on, he passes Jadzia Dax, who looks absolutely stunning in an incandescent gown of silver and blue. She flashes a dazzling smile at the audience. "Good evening!" She smiles. "All eight of me are so happy to be here tonight. It's such an honor and a privilege to present the award for Best Filk/Drabble/Poem. Unfortunately, unlike Captain Kirk, Vic Fontaine and the EMH, I do not have such a good singing voice, so I will not be able to sing a tune for you tonight. However, later on, if any of you are interested, Worf and I will be at the Entertainment Tonight after awards party and we will be teaching Klingon drinking songs. Bloodwine is on my father-in-law, General Martok." She smiles again. Backstage, Julian Bashir passes out, hitting his head on the teak bathtub, and earning a punch in the arm from Ezri Dax. "And now about this category. I feel perfectly at home, as I'm used to taking two things, putting them together and coming up with a combination that exceeds the sum of its parts. That being said, it's my honor to announce that first place goes to 'I Fought the Borg' by Jemima!" "Second place goes to 'Pun-ishment 11' by Rob Morris!" "Third place goes to 'The Sound of Borgness' by Jemima!" The lights dim, and Jadzia sweeps off stage and into the arms of her Klingon warrior. Both of them gracefully avert their eyes from the bathing Janeway and Chakotay and they step carefully over the prone figure of Julian Bashir. "And now," the loudspeaker booms, "here to present the George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew, Ensign Mary Sue!" Mary Sue comes out onstage. Her long flowing tresses are an unusual mixture of red and gold, with crystalline highlights. Her eyes, lavender in some lights, emerald green in others, are now the exact shade of cerulean blue as her diaphanous gown. "Here I am!" she cries, flinging her arms wide as if to embrace the audience, "the most popular person to ever set foot on a starship! You can all relax now, as I'm here to save the day!" It is so silent you can hear the Makatorian crickets chirp. "Oh well," sighs Mary Sue. "As I once told my boyfriend Captain Kirk--or was it the time I was having an affair with Commander Chakotay while giving piloting lessons to Tom Paris?--you can't please all of the people all of the time. My half-sister (twin, but we were separated at birth and I was raised by an alien princess) Deanna Troi told me there are times we have to subdue our natural abilities and let someone else have a bit of the limelight." She gives a melodious, silvery laugh. "After all not everyone is blessed with as many natural abilities as I am! Not even my Uncle Q!" Mary Sue pulls out the envelope. "First place for George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew goes to 'Crossing the Line' by Seema." "Second place for George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew goes to 'Not Indefatigable' by Stephen Ratliff." "Third place for George D. Morgan for Best Original Captain and Crew goes to 'Chantilly, Five Lashes' by Stephen Ratliff." Mary Sue performs an intricate curtsey to the crowd--which she learned from her cousin Elaan of Troyius--and blows kisses until the band starts playing and two young men come to escort her from the stage. Vic nods to the next presenter. "Guinan, how're you doing?" "Fine, Vic," she answers. "Yourself?" "No complaints," he says. "Good to hear," Guinan says and then goes onstage. As she walks across the stage, the camera pans across the audience, stopping briefly on Rob Morris who is talking to Peter Kirk, and then moves on to Gabrielle Lawson who is sipping a glass of white wine. Meanwhile a group of individuals wearing triangle hats and wearing buttons that read "I love Swedish meatballs!" are chatting and swapping stories at their table. The next frame shows Ananke exchanging PADDs with Bill Livingston. A group of Enterprise authors, including Mareel, Mara Greengrass, A and KayJay, are sitting at a table with Reed, who is talking animatedly, his hands gesturing wildly. "My people are known for being good listeners--no doubt why so many of us have ended up in the hospitality business since we were rescued from the Nexus," Guinan says. "Over the years, you can be sure I've heard 'em all, everybody's story. Which is why I'm really glad to be here tonight to present the awards for MIS Authors, those people who can transcend ordinary series boundaries and tell stories that can't be easily pigeonholed." Guinan pulls the envelope out of her large purple hat. "First place for MIS Author goes to Seema." "Second place for MIS Author goes to Ventura33." "Third place for MIS Author goes to Rob Morris." As Guinan exits the stage, she passes Stephen Ratliff on her way out. He nods at her and then makes his way onstage. "Good evening, I'm here to present the Award for Best New Author, commonly known as the Wolf and Otter Award, after two of our respected alumni, Greywolf and Macedon. The two of them helped nurture newbies on ASC and hopefully, those of you posting to ASC for the first time this year found a similar atmosphere and felt welcome. We're certainly glad to have you here and hope you stick around in the future. And now, on with the Awards! In third place, this author specialized in writing Reed and she turned out both drabbles and long stories based on this character. We're happy to present this Award to Mareel!" "In second place, this author made hir presence well known in TOS with her wicked sense of humor and obsession with James T. Kirk--" "Isn't everyone?" Jungle Kitty yells out. Stephen shakes his head and continues, "--but also had a story or two in the MIS category. Please welcome, Pinetrees!" "In first place, this author specialized in Voyager stories this year, but did also had contributions in other series as well. Congratulations to Alex Voy!" Stephen exits the stage, and Seema gives him a high five as she passes. In the background, the orchestra plays the theme song to Enterprise, the muzak version. A few fans are screaming, "Bring back Russell Watson! Bring back Russell Watson!" Seema steps behind the podium. "Good evening. As this year's coordinator, it's my privilege to present the Alara Rogers for Best Author. This year's trio of authors exemplified a trend we've been seeing over the past few years as all of them spanned four or more series with their work. The stories were funny, touching, angsty, action-adventure -- you name it, these authors wrote it. So, without further ado --" Seema slits the envelope with a flourish "-- third place goes to an author who has a lovely way with words and an interesting and unique perspective on not only characters, but on situations as well. Congratulations to nostalgia!" "In second place, this author has always managed to find the unusual angle to illuminate a situation or put together the most impossible crossover or combined story perfectly. Congratulations go to Ventura33!" "In first place, this author did a tremendous job in all series, whether it be with a cutting sense of humor or writing angst or simply a character vignette, she did it all gracefully. This year's Alara Rogers Award for Best Author goes to Rocky!" -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. 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