Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 30 Mar 2004 19:23:13 -0800 In: alt.startrek.creative From: djinn@djinnslair.com (Djinn) TITLE: The Lost Years: Chaos (Slayer Series) AUTHOR: Djinn CONTACT: djinn@djinnslair.com http://www.djinnslair.com SERIES: TOS RATING: PG-13 CODES: Ch, K, U, Others PART: 7/7 SUMMARY: The seventh in the Lost Years series. Uhura watched Christine pummel the punching bag, and sighed, snuggling deeper into the chair in the corner of the basement. It was going to be a long wait before she could try again to talk Christine into eating or getting some sleep. Her friend was barely taking a moment between blows and kicks, her grunts getting louder as she hit the bag increasingly hard. Kirk came down the stairs and stood in the doorway, watching Christine for a long time, his face unreadable, before he walked over and sat down on the padded bench across the room. He looked over at Uhura, the slight lift of his eyebrows asking her for a status report, the way he used to on the bridge, when he didn't want the others to hear how bad it was. She shook her head very slightly, the old answer that said, "It's bad." He nodded, the gesture barely more than a slight tilt of his head, a slight dip of his eyelids. She missed this interaction, the easy way she could read him and what he needed from her. Saw by his expression that he did too. She would have it back soon, or its replacement--whatever system Decker implemented to find out what he needed to know from her without words. But what would Kirk have to replace it? Christine kicked hard, then stopped the bag. She turned to look at Kirk. "You saw her?" He nodded. They stared at each other for a long moment. Uhura couldn't see Christine's expression, but Kirk's seemed to soften, compassion for the watcher and Christine evident. Christine turned away abruptly, whacked the ball hard with the back of her hand, followed up with another fierce chop. She kept up the routine. Smack, smack, smack. Uhura rubbed her eyes. She had a fierce headache, born more out of worry for Christine than anything else. She looked over at Kirk. "Is Emma alone?" "Silver is with her." There was a slight break in Christine's tempo, but she didn't say anything. Kirk and Uhura shared a look. He leaned back against the wall, watched Christine silently. Suddenly, Christine reached out and stopped the bag again. She didn't look at either of them, just stood breathing hard. "I wish you two would stop staring at me." "We're just worried about you," Uhura said softly. "Uh huh. And have you reserved the padded cell yet, or will that come later?" Uhura didn't recognize the bite in her friend's tone. This must be what Len had been telling her Christine was like just before she ran away. Brittle, sharp. Ready to explode. Kirk laughed. "Because you're working off a little steam? How many times do you think I went down to the gym alone and punched the hell out of the bag? You think I don't know what you're doing? You think I don't know the frustration you feel trying to keep it together for Emma while inside you just want to fall apart?" Christine turned to look at him. The sharp tenseness of her shoulders seemed to relax. "How did you do it? How did you hold it together?" "The same way you are. One moment at a time." Christine stepped closer to him, held out her hand and he took it. "I'm sorry." She turned to include Uhura in the apology. "I'm just so..." "Tired," Uhura finished for her. "You need to rest." She knew it was a losing argument. But the Uhura women were nothing if not stubborn. The Chapel women outdid them though. "I'm fine." "You're not fine," Kirk said. "You're overtired and you probably haven't eaten. Do you know what Bones would be saying to me right now? What you would be saying to me, if our places were reversed?" Christine sighed, throwing her head back and rolling her neck as if trying to work out far too many kinks. "Come here." Kirk let go of her, patted the seat next to him. She didn't move right away, seemed poised to jump away if he reached for her. But he didn't reach for her, just sat quietly. Waiting. With a sigh, Christine sat down next to him. He shifted slightly, began to knead her neck. "You'll be no good to Emma if you can't function. And you need rest to function. And what if you have to go out on patrol one of these nights? You could get hurt because you're too tired to pay attention. How will that help Emma?" His voice was gentle, not chiding, just reminding her of the facts. "The other slayers are patrolling," Christine said softly. "They're not gone yet?" Christine shook her head. "Nevertheless..." Uhura smiled softly, put her head down on her arm and watched as Christine's expression slowly relaxed. Lie down, she sent her friend, thinking her love ought to count for at least a sleep spell. Christine groaned. Kirk let go of her, shifted a bit so that he was in a more comfortable position, then said softly, "You need to sleep." Christine's eyes were drooping. Yes, you need to sleep, Uhura silently tried to reinforce Kirk's suggestion. Christine swung her legs up on the bench, slowly stretched out, her head in Kirk's lap. She seemed tense, her body held tightly, as if she was about to jump back up. Kirk didn't say anything, but he moved his hand to her hair, began to stroke it gently. Uhura felt her own eyes closing as she watched the rhythmic movement of his hand. Christine moaned, and she shifted on the bench, her body relaxing, her eyes slowly falling shut. In a moment, she was out. Kirk smiled, looked over at Uhura and shook his head. "Stubborn," he said softly. Uhura nodded. "You could use some sleep too." "I'm fine, sir." "Jim." She frowned. "Call me Jim. I should have told you that a long time ago, Nyota." Uhura smiled tiredly. "Jim." She yawned. "I'm not that tired." He smiled at the fib. "I'll wake you if Emma needs anything." Sleep was so tempting. She watched as Jim's hand slid down Christine's hair. He was such a good man. And good for Christine. He'd look out for her. He'd look out for them all. "Sleep," he said again. "All right." She lay her head back down, let her eyes close. She opened them a second later, saw that he had turned back to watch Christine. The look on his face was unguarded, tired. And full of such tenderness that Uhura felt as if she was intruding on the two of them. She shifted in the chair to get more comfortable, closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax, secure in the knowledge that she was safe as long as he was watching over them. ------------------------------ The slow rise and fall of the monitors lulled Christine into a nearly hypnotic state. Emma's breathing was labored; she was sleeping more and more. A sleep made accessible by the heavy painkillers she increasingly needed. Christine shifted in the chair. She looked over at Emma, saw that she was awake and watching her. "Are you in pain?" Christine asked softly. Emma smiled. "No." Christine had mixed in some other meds, meds designed to relax Emma, remove her slightly from any fear. "What happens to us?" Emma asked, her voice barely more than a croak. "When we die?" Emma nodded. "I don't know." Emma frowned slightly. "But you died. What happened?" Christine shrugged. "I don't remember very much. It was dark and peaceful. No one wanted to hurt me and I didn't have to hunt anyone anymore." She sighed. "I didn't get very far before they brought me back." "Well, I'm glad for that." Emma smiled, then held her hand out. Christine took it and held on tightly. She tried not to react to how little strength Emma had when she squeezed back. "I'm glad I killed the bolus demons. I'm glad Kevin made me your watcher." Christine fought the tears. Emma didn't want them, and Christine could cry when this was over. "I am too." "It's getting dark. Is it night?" The light hadn't changed in the room. "Yes, it's very late." "You knew Laura, didn't you?" Emma asked. "That's how Jim made her come alive for us." "I knew her." "You watched her die. At the Gotterdammerung?" "Yes." Christine closed her eyes. "I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell David too. But I couldn't." "I understand. He would too." Emma smiled. "Don't give Kirsu to Kevin. I'm not sure he'll share it. Keep it for the slayers." She smiled. "It's what David would have wanted." Emma's gaze was suddenly drawn to something above the foot of the bed. She shifted her gaze from one spot to another and back again. "Emma?" "They're here. How wonderful." She seemed to be talking to herself, her hand loosened on Christine's. "I wasn't sure...but he did care for me." She smiled, a beautiful smile. "And Laura. They came." Christine looked at the spots that drew Emma's attention. She imagined two people standing there, could picture how soft David's eyes might be if he were free of the hatred that had warped him, how Laura's smile would light up the dark for Emma. Take care of her, she tried to tell these ghosts only Emma could see. Please take care of her. She looked back at Emma. Her watcher's eyes were closed. The monitors chimed softly once and then went still as the level indicators all went black. Christine had missed the moment; she had missed Emma's death. She could almost hear Emma correcting her. Death was more than just a moment. Christine had been there for all of it. She didn't need to see a last breath to have been a witness. She busied herself with the things that needed to be done after death. The times and numbers recorded, the medicine drips removed. She leaned down, kissed Emma's cheek. "Safe journey, Emma. I'll never forget you." She bit back a sob. "Don't forget me." She straightened back up. "Chris?" She looked up. Jim was at the door. "How long have you been there?" "Long enough." He stepped into the room, held his arms out to her. She didn't hesitate, hurried to him, almost threw herself at him. His arms closed around her tightly, and he said, "Let it out. It's all right to let go now." He rubbed her neck, his mouth on her hair, near her ear, whispering, "Let it out." The control she'd maintained for Emma's sake shattered and she heard a strange wailing sound coming from somewhere. Then she realized the broken animal-like cry was coming from her. She tried to pull away, afraid that she was breaking apart. The terrible cry sounded again. "Oh, sweetheart. I'm sorry." He eased his hold on her, letting his arms drop to her waist, making it easy for her to pull away if she wanted to. She looked up at him. "What do I do?" He smiled gently. "Whatever you have to." She felt the panic recede. His hands on her waist rested lightly, supporting her but not holding her. His eyes were so calm, so concerned. She moved back against him, relaxed and felt his arms tighten around her. "You're safe," he whispered. She let go then. Let the tears that felt as if they were a pounding tidal wave inside her head, finally burst free. He didn't say anything, just held her while she wept. She felt a slight tingle, and then it was as if a heavy cloak had fallen around them, blocking out the light and the outside world. Keeping everything out but them. The darkness seemed to settle around her, protecting her, keeping her safe. As she gave herself over to the pain inside her, she heard his words echoing softly all around her, as if the blackness was saying, "It's all right. You're safe. It's all right." She didn't now how long she wept. She only stopped when she couldn't breathe anymore. He handed her a tissue, wiped her face with his thumbs, the pressure gentle across her cheeks. Her head throbbed and she couldn't stop the half-sobs that kept escaping. He gently drew her out of the bedroom. She saw Uhura waiting in the hallway, concern and pain evident on her face. She walked to Christine's other side, wrapped her arms around her and said, "I'm so sorry." Christine realized someone else stood in the hallway. She blinked hard, not sure what she wanted to say to Silver. He stepped forward, his face void of any of his normal unpleasant expressions. She realized he was blinking hard. She stretched out her hand, and he took it, held on to her tightly for a long moment then let go. "She wanted to be buried with the other watchers," he said. Christine realized he was asking for her permission; she nodded. "I'll make arrangements for transportation then." As he turned to head down the stairs, Christine whispered, "Thank you for sending her to me." He turned slowly. Unshed tears were bright in his eyes. "I didn't do it just for you." He smiled slightly. "I never cared a whit about those damned bolus demons." He blinked rapidly, turning and fleeing down the stairs but not before the tears he'd worked loose fell. Christine sobbed, felt Jim's arm tighten around her. "What now?" Uhura asked quietly. Christine glanced back into the room, saw Emma lying serenely. No pain, no effort to breathe. Just peace. "I'll make some tea," Christine said softly. It was what Emma would have done. FIN -- Stephen Ratliff ASC Awards Tech Support http://www.trekiverse.us/ASCAwards/commenting/ No Tribbles were harmed in the running of these Awards ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek .creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? 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