Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: 22 May 2004 15:21:25 -0700 In: alt.startrek.creative From: brubo2260@yahoo.com (Brubo) NEW Voy "Inner Dark"; J (Series Shift Challenge) Title: Inner Dark Author: Brubo brubo2260@yahoo.com Series: VOY Rating: PG Codes: J; Series Shift Challenge Archive: ASC only Summary: How does the TNG "Inner Light" experience affect Janeway? Note: I imagine this to be set shortly before the opening of the VOY episode "Night" and would expect it to contribute to Janeway's depression. It's the scene at the end of "Inner Light" where Picard plays the flute, but from Janeway's point of view. Disclaimer: Paramount owns them; they just haunt my daydreams. ****** Inner Dark by Brubo ( c ) May 22, 2004 You sit alone here pondering. How black your surroundings; how lost your psyche. You summarily dismissed the idea that you are grieving the loss of "your family" as the Doctor phrased it. But in your solitude, you realize he is probably right. Damn! You hate it when he's right. Your quarters close in around you; you're no longer _home_. Your loss weighs heavily now and you can't think, because in thinking you'll remember. You _can't_ remember or you'll go crazy. Humph! You know Chakotay can see it. You've pushed him away many times now, but he continue to return, even bringing his infernal bundle of stones and feathers with him. As if holding stones and seeing lizards could soothe you! You release a bitter chuckle at the thought. As the saying goes, you've seen how the other half lives. You -- the _real_ you, the part Starfleet - no you can't blame it on them - YOU'VE buried alive -- want what your probe-self had... home, spouse, family... dare you think it... love. You pace. The blackness seeps through your windows, mocking you. Your thoughts are silenced. You realize you're staring at your large empty bed. You're unnerved by the sight. Of all the things you miss, you miss her the most - Eline, your spouse. You miss her understanding, her comfort, her love... her warmth. You idly wonder what Justin and Mark would think of it. Actually, you admit, you wonder what _you_ think of it. Afraid of what your answer may be, you turn your back on the sight and tell yourself to shut up. You pace again until the box catches your eye. You stop, open the lid and carefully remove the only thing that survived the destruction of Kataan. You examine the ancient flute and marvel at the fact that you are now musical. You think your mother would laugh at the idea. Your early years of imprisonment in piano lessons hadn't brought forth a fraction of what twenty-five minutes with and alien probe had. You gently place your fingers over the holes and lift the flute to your lips. You do not play the melancholy schmaltz the probe taught you. Rather, you play the sweet tune Eline used to hum when she was preparing a meal or bathing the children. You allow the music to massage your soul and your bittersweet tears push their salty flows past your lashes. You finish the tune and curl yourself into a tight ball on the couch. You acknowledge exhaustion creeping through you. You stay there because your bed unnerves you. You know of no one in your _real_ life that would understand. But Eline would have. You cry yourself to sleep and hope the blackness swallows you before you wake. The End. -- Forwarded to ASCL by: Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek.creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCL/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCL-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Mon May 24 22:17:02 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n48.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.67.25]) by killdeer (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bsrtr4Eu3NZFlr0 for ; Mon, 24 May 2004 19:15:25 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1977044-13613-1085451324-stephenbratliffasc=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yahoo.com