Forwarded by the ASC-VSO Posted: Sun, 30 May 2004 14:11:06 GMT In: alt.startrek.creative From: "Heather Smyth" Title: Alone Inside Author: Heather Smyth Series: TNG Part: 10/? Rating: R Code: P/C Disclaimer: Paramount owns all Startrek and I derive no financial gain from this story...just a little fun. Summary: See part one. The red haired Doctor was treating a sprained wrist when Deanna and the Captain walked in. She took a moment to admire his handsome form in his civilian clothes, then turned her attention back to the wayward Ensign. "Now Dwight this is the second.and definitely last.time I'll fix this wrist. Either alter the programme or choose another sport." She winked at the Ensign, who had blanched at seeing the Captain's arrival. "Go on now, off you go." He offered a quick nod to Jean-Luc then made himself scarce. Beverly was still smiling at the effect the Captain had on his younger crew when Deanna broke into her thoughts. "Beverly can we see you in the office?" She nodded and led them across the room to her sanctum. "What can I do for you?" The three settled into chairs and Deanna gathered her thoughts. "The Captain and I have been discussing his feelings concerning the Borg. It would seem he has some repressed anger that is doing him harm. I want you opinion on his suitability for regressive therapy." "I think it's a good idea, but surely you don't need my sanction?" "In this instance I do. I suggest you sedate the Captain prior to me hypnotising him. The choice of drug would be crucial of course." "I see. Why sedation? Why not use the standard method of hypnosis?" Deanna sat forward in her chair and clasped her hands on the desktop. "Captain Picard has an extraordinarily strong mind. His natural instinct when threatened would be to shield himself from me and I want to circumvent that if possible by using drugs to sedate him first." "What did you have in mind?" "Benzotyline would be my choice.what do you think?" "Hmm. Let me do some research and I'll get back to you. When did you think you want to do it?" "Soon.the sooner the better." Jean-Luc leaned forward and asked what was on his mind. "Tell me, will I have any control over this procedure? Will I remember it?" Deanna turned to him and nodded. "No Captain, you'll have no control, but you will remember it and it's very important you do. We will be in your quarters. Beverly will sedate you and monitor your physical responses. I will hypnotise you and allow you to vent your buried emotions concerning the Borg. Later we will deal with the effects of the catharsis." Jean-Luc frowned as his fingers gently rubbed his lower lip. "So no one else.just us three." "Yes Sir." He looked at his best friend. "Beverly? What do you think?" She reached across the desk and took his hand. Looking deep into his dark hazel eyes, she smiled tenderly. "Jean-Luc if this can help you.if you can rid yourself of this damn demon.then do it! Deanna and I will be with you, it'll be all right." Jean-Luc sat back and studied the two women before him. He was about to commit his well being into the hands of others.again, but he knew these two women, knew them and trusted them. Coming to his decision he nodded abruptly. "Very well then. We will do this and I pray we only ever have to do it once." Deanna smiled at her Captain and nodded to Beverly. "We'll be with you Sir." The following afternoon the three friends gathered in Jean-Luc 's quarters. He raised his eyebrows at Beverly who in turn looked to Deanna. "Captain would you make yourself comfortable?" He cast about, eventually choosing the chair by the viewports. Settling himself, he watched as Beverly opened her med kit and took out a hypospray. She opened a tricorder and placed it on the seat beside her then checked the dose on the hypospray. Nodding her readiness, she turned to Deanna. The Counsellor opened a small case and removed an intriguing object. Small in size and multi-faceted, it caught the light and glowed with the colours of the spectrum. She held it up and showed the Captain. "This is what I will use to hypnotise you." He nodded and smiled as Beverly came to his side. Her blue eyes glowed as she looked down at him. "Are you ready?" He shrugged and took a big breath. "I suppose so." Beverly trailed her fingers down his face then brought the hypospray to his neck. "Remember my love.you're not alone." As she said that, she dispensed the Benzotyline and watched as his body relaxed. Jean-Luc sighed and raised his head when Deanna called to him. "Captain I want you to watch the lights, just watch the lights and relax." Within minutes the drug and Deanna had done their work and Jean-Luc entered a trance-like state. Deanna moved closer and issued some simple commands that Jean-Luc carried out without hesitation. She looked up at Beverly. "He's ready." The Doctor nodded and took up the tricorder, scanning the Captain before giving Deanna her go-ahead. Deanna sat forward and spoke gently to Jean-Luc. "Captain I want you to think about the Borg." Over the next two hours, Jean-Luc re-lived his assimilation and the devastation of the battle at Wolf 359, but this time he was able to express his feelings in all their dark connotations. He roared and spat, screamed his fury and sobbed his despair as piece by piece, Deanna dismantled his hidden emotions. When it was over he lay exhausted and sleeping on the sofa. Beverly had placed a pillow under his head and a blanket over his body. The two women looked down at him with pity and awe. "My God." Beverly whispered. "That was like removing the most stubborn malignant tumour." Deanna nodded and went to the replicator, and returned with drinks for both of them. "I suspected he was holding a lot in, but the reality of it.having him confront it then express how he feels.I don't know how he's managed all this time. It's no wonder it surfaced." Beverly nodded and rubbed her face with her hands. "Surfaced and bit him on the arse! God if only he wasn't so.so." "Beverly he is the way he is. Would you change him?" She thought but a moment and sighed. "Of course not. I love him Deanna, completely, with all his.foibles." "There you go then." "Would you change anything about Will?" Deanna chuckled and put a finger to her chin. "You mean apart from the beard?" "What.you don't like his beard?" "You're forgetting I have memories of a clean shaven Will Riker. Let's just say the beard may be on borrowed time." The two friends settled into a companionable silence while they sipped their drinks. Beverly picked up the tricorder and scanned the somnolent Captain. "He's been avoiding food hasn't he." Beverly frowned over the readings and nodded. "Yes and he's not been sleeping well.if at all. You know I thought that by keeping him in Sick Bay I could monitor all this, but he's done his usual thing right under my nose and I let him!" "Don't be too hard on yourself Beverly. He's spent a lifetime doing what he wants, it would be a hard habit to break." "I know.it's just." "You're thinking about the baby?" "Yes. It will change everything. He will have to think about his vulnerability in a way he's never had to before. He won't like it." "Maybe not, but perhaps it will strengthen your bond with him. Look at it this way.who else would he be happy in knowing all this?" "Nobody!" "Beverly." "All right, fair enough. I suppose you're going to tell me that if he's willing to let me witness this, then I should tell him about the baby." "Well, what do you think?" Beverly put down the tricorder and sighed. "How do you think he's going to be when he wakes up.or over the next couple of days?" "Very fragile. He'll be appalled at what he will see as a breakdown, it'll be my job to make him see himself in a kinder light." "Well then, when he's stronger I'll tell him." ".Tell me what?" "Jean-Luc! How long have you been awake?" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Just now. I woke up and heard you say you should tell me something. What?" "That you need a meal and a drink, a shower then bed, in that order." "Beverly." "Come on sit up.how do you feel?" He ran a hand over his face and grimaced at feeling the salt from his tears. "Wrung out mostly.and ashamed." Deanna came to sit beside him and took his hand. "No Captain, never shame. What happened was needed and accepted by us in the strictest confidence." "I know Counsellor.but." "Not now Captain.later, when you're feeling stronger." "That's not like you Counsellor. You usually like to tackle things head on." "I know Captain but this time I think we all go do with a breather." Beverly stood over the Captain. "Come over to the table. I've replicated a light meal and a hot cup of Earl Grey." Jean-Luc cast a long-suffering look at Deanna, but bent to Beverly's wishes. He sat at the table, looked at his meal and sighed. "Beverly, I'm really not hungry.perhaps.? "Uh uh Jean-Luc. I want you to eat all of that and I'm not going anywhere until you do!" He looked up at her and frowned. "I was hoping you'd stay anyway. I'm discharged from Sick Bay aren't I?" The two women looked at each other and Deanna shrugged. Beverly made her decision on the spot. "Ok." "Ok to what? You staying or my discharge?" "Both. But you're going to have to pull your weight. I want you eating and sleeping properly.no half measures.no 'I'm fine' and brush me off." Jean-Luc scowled and looked up at Deanna. "Can I stay with you instead?" She chuckled; pleased he was finding his sense of humour. "No Sir, you stay here. I think you and Beverly both need some quiet time together. I'll see you tomorrow and be prepared, you've got some hard work ahead of you." He nodded and watched her leave before turning to his lover. Beverly went to the replicator and returned with a meal for herself. Sitting, she picked up her cutlery. "It's always nicer to share a meal, don't you think?" "Hmm. I'm not convinced you know." "Convinced? About what?" "You've got something to tell me and it's got nothing to do with diet or sleep." "Oh Jean-Luc.eat your chicken and be quiet." He sighed and picked up his fork, looking down at the meal with distaste. "Very well Beverly but you should know.I'm a very patient man. I'll wait." She looked at him and smiled warmly. Inside her heart trembled. Later that evening Beverly was wiping his brow with a damp cloth. He'd gone to bed, only to waken from a nightmare. His chest heaved as he regained his breath, his whole body quaking. Beverly was about to ask him to lie back down when he abruptly threw off the sheet and bolted from the bed. "Jean-Luc?" "God I hate this! When is it going to be bloody well over?" She stood and went to him feeling his boiling emotions. "Can I get you anything.a drink perhaps?" He stopped his pacing and cocked his head. "Yes! A whiskey.a double. There's a bottle in the sideboard." While he went to the bathroom to wash his sweat-streaked face, Beverly went to the living area and soon returned with two glasses. She gave one to Jean-Luc and was about to suggest a toast when he placed the tumbler at his lips and downed the lot in one go. "Did you bring the bottle?" "No it's." He strode from the room and Beverly found him re-filling his glass. "Do you want another?" "I've not finished this one." He shrugged and downed the liquor in one gulp. He was reaching for the bottle again when she stopped him. "Jean-Luc.this isn't necessary." He filled the tumbler nonetheless and gestured with the container. "Are you going to drink with me or not?" She came fully into the room and sat on the sofa. "I'll drink with you.at my own pace and you, my dear Captain, should slow down." "Really? And what if I don't feel like slowing down?" "Then.eventually.you'll get horribly drunk and I'll have to put you to bed." He sat heavily on the chair and looked into the depths of the glass. "Tempting." "Maybe, but you'll feel rotten in the morning." "Nothing a well placed hypospray wouldn't fix." "You'd feel worse than just hung over Jean-Luc.and you know it." His voice grew harsh. "Jesus Christ.there's no fucking escape is there?" "Nope. You've got to face it Jean-Luc.you can't put it off any more." His voice drooped to a rough whisper. "It's so hard Beverly.so hard." "I know my love but you'll be well again soon. I need you to be well." "Why Beverly.why are you so keen to see me recover quickly? You know it'll happen anyway." "Oh Jean-Luc.you must know.I love you.I." "Tell me Beverly." Beverly stared at this resolute man who'd stolen her heart and came to a sudden decision. "I'm pregnant." His breathing stopped. "What? You're what?" "Pregnant Jean-Luc, you know.with child." He put down the glass and stared at the table. "How?" "My implant malfunctioned." "When?" "The first time we made love." "So you're.?" "Nine weeks." When he didn't say anything further, Beverly began to worry. She rose from the sofa and kneeled at his legs. She took his hands and looked deeply into his glittering eyes. "It's not necessarily a bad thing." "I know." "But.?" He stood up and brushed past her, pacing about the room. Even dressed only in his sleep shorts he was an impressive man. Lost in thought, as he was now, only made him more desirable. Beverly rose to her feet and watched him as he wrestled with his thoughts. He stopped suddenly and stared at her. "You want to keep it?" She took a step towards him, but stopped. "Yes. But I'd rather not be a single parent again." He nodded and lowered his head. Beverly closed the distance between them and rubbed his arm gently. "Would it be such a terrible thing? To have a child with me?" He looked up at her incredulously. "Terrible? Beverly this is the most wonderful news I've ever had!" "Then why do you hesitate?" He gripped her elbow and led them both to the sofa. They sat and he gathered his thoughts. "Beverly.since the untimely deaths of my brother and nephew.you know my feelings about my regret over the non-continuance of the Picard line. You know.surely you must know.that I'm delighted by this news.but would I make a good father? Look at me Beverly. At the moment I'm undergoing therapy for unresolved anger.what sort of a father could I be when I can't even keep myself under control?" "Jean-Luc." "No Beverly, hear me. We need to think carefully about this. What if I make a mistake with the child? What if I shut it out, like I sometimes shut you out? A child deserves a full time father not a remote authority figure who will." "Stop it Jean-Luc! This self-castigating is getting us nowhere. I know you' ll be a wonderful father. If I didn't I never would've told you. You're not yourself right now. Let's leave it a few days and, when your feeling stronger, we'll talk about it.Ok?" He looked speculatively at her but acquiesced. He picked up the glasses from the table and gave Beverly hers. "Is it all right for you to drink?" "One's ok." "Then here's to.us, all three of us." They clinked tumblers and Jean-Luc tossed his down. Beverly sipped and giggled when she caught him glancing at her belly. "I'm not showing yet." He reddened slightly. "And there's no movement to be felt.?" "No not yet." "May I?" He gently moved his hand over her abdomen as she shifted to accommodate him. "Who else knows?" "Deanna, Selar, Guinan.oh, and Adam Simpson." "Ah yes, Adam Simpson." "I already knew when I saw him.I scanned myself when the vomiting wouldn't go away. He prescribed an anti-emetic and supplied me with a vial so I wouldn't have to continually turn up at the Infirmary." "Are you well?" "I've had a few hormone problems, hypertension and headaches, but Selar has it under control." "Not life threatening I hope?" Beverly shook her head, making her lustrous red hair dance. "No! In fact we're both in tip-top condition. The problems should resolve themselves after the birth." "And what about your age. Won't it be.difficult?" "Not necessarily, but Selar will be monitoring me closely. I must admit.I'm not really looking forward to the birth. Wesley was hard work and I would rather not have to go through that again, but there are lots of things to consider. Nothing's set in stone." Jean-Luc raised his hand and trailed his fingers down her face. "Well I have a suggestion, if you're willing." "Oh, what's that?" "Right now I find you incredibly attractive. I want to make love to you Beverly." Somewhat taken aback, Beverly smiled and cocked her head. "So do pregnant women turn you on?" "Apparently." She chuckled but soon moaned as he kissed her suddenly and passionately. His hands roamed over her body and she arched up to him as he cupped her breasts. Breaking the kiss, he stood and held out his hand. She stood with him and their hands entwined. He kissed her again and led her slowly to his bedroom. Slowly undressing her, he kissed all the newly exposed skin and lavished her with love and on the bed that he'd so recently departed, they made the most tender and extraordinary love that two people could manage. In every gesture, every caress, he tried to let her see into his heart, into his very soul to let her know that he was happy, to say to her with his body what his mouth could not. -- Forwarded to ASCL by: Stephen Ratliff ASC Stories Only Forwarding In the Pattern Buffer at: http//trekiverse.crosswinds.net/feed/ ASCL is a stories-only list, no discussion. Comments and feedback should be directed to alt.startrek.creative or directly to the author. Yahoo! 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