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Date: Sun, 06 Jun 2004 23:32:53 -0400
Subject: [ASC] NEW TOS: The Lost Years: Unstoppable 1/3 [PG-13] Slayer Series
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Forwarded by the ASC-VSO 
Posted: 5 Jun 2004 19:52:23 -0700  
In: alt.startrek.creative 
From: djinn@djinnslair.com (Djinn) 
 

TITLE: The Lost Years: Unstoppable (Slayer Series)
AUTHOR: Djinn
CONTACT: djinn@djinnslair.com http://www.djinnslair.com
SERIES: TOS
RATING: PG-13
CODES: Ch, K, U, Others
PART: 1/3
SUMMARY: The tenth in the Lost Years series.



Kirk watched Decker walk away.  It had been easier than he expected. 
Taking the man's ship.  But then she was Kirk's ship first.  And she
always would be his.  As long as he could command her, the Enterprise
would be his.

Scotty shot him a sympathetic glance.  Kirk smiled wryly.  They both
knew there was no way to make this better for Decker.  Will had lost. 
It was just a question of how much that loss hurt, and would he stay
once this mission was over.

If they survived this mission.

The shower of sparks from a nearby console seemed to echo the
pessimistic thought.  A klaxon went off, the sound different than he
remembered.

The technician who had been working on the panel hit the comm switch. 
"Transporter room, come in! Urgent!"  He looked at Scotty.  "Redline
on the transporters, Mister Scott!"

Scott was already moving as he shouted, "Transporter room, do not
engage.  Do not--"

"Too late," the tech said.  "They're beaming now."

Kirk raced out of the room, not sure exactly where he was heading but
pulled by a deep sense of urgency and dread down the corridor.  He
could hear Scotty pounding behind him.

The scene that met them in the transporter room was a nightmare.  The
transporter was trying to hold onto whoever was beaming in, but their
patterns kept shifting, whirling and morphing.  Then they started to
form.  Kirk pushed Rand aside, took the controls.

He heard a scream, a woman's voice.  Rand turned away from the horror;
he couldn't.  He could make out enough of the male to see he was
Vulcan.  It had to be Sonak.  He'd recommended him for this post,
talked to him just a few short hours ago.

There had to be something he could do.

Kirk reached for the transporter control, desperately trying to call
up some magic and finally feeling it answer inside him, unfocused,
even panicked, but ready for him to use.  But before he could try the
controls again, the pattern stopped and the transporter chamber was
eerily quiet.

He let his hand drop, felt the magic swirl inside him for a moment,
then die back down.  "Starfleet, do you have them?"

"Enterprise...what we got back didn't live long. Fortunately."

Kirk said all the things he was supposed to say, expressed his
condolences to their families.

Who had the woman been? A new officer, excited and happy for her first
tour?  Or someone more experienced, someone who'd transported hundreds
of times?  Someone who'd never expected to die like that?

He turned to Rand.  She was trembling.  "There was nothing you could
have done, Rand. It wasn't your fault."

She nodded, waited until Scott had left before saying, "I...I knew
her, sir.  The admiral."

He felt his hackles rise.  "That was an admiral?"

Rand nodded.  "Admiral Ciani, sir."  Her voice broke.  "Lori."

Lori had been beaming up?  Why in god's name would she have done that
when she had to have known that he and Chris were gunning for
her--that Nogura was on to her?  "You knew Lori?"

Rand looked up at him.  Her eyes were filled with tears.  "I served on
Admiral Nogura's staff, sir.  Just before I went into transporter
specialist training.  And Lori got me this posting."

"She did?"  

"She was my cousin, sir."  Rand looked up at him.  "She was the pride
of the family."

"She never mentioned you, Janice."

"That doesn't surprise me.  We have a big family, sir, and she and I
don't--didn't exactly travel in the same circles.  I was surprised she
wanted to come up to say goodbye.  I couldn't say no--she _was_ an
admiral."  Rand's eyes filled with tears again.  "I'm glad you pushed
me away from the controls, sir.  I don't have to feel as if I killed
her."

Kirk tried not to flinch.  Had he done that?  Had he killed Lori?  Not
that he minded killing Lori--she had been a monster and she'd gotten
Carl killed, and nearly Chris, and who knew how many others--but he
hadn't known it was Lori when he'd rushed in.  What if she'd been just
some random crewwoman?  Did he kill Sonak and her by his rash action?

"Sir, I need to go make some calls...to the family.  You understand?"

He nodded, distracted.  Then he touched her on the arm.  "I'm sorry,
Janice.  I didn't know."

She shot him a look that seemed to say there had been much he didn't
know--to everyone's misfortune.

He tightened his grip on her.  "I didn't mean--"  He suddenly felt the
hair on the back of his neck rise, the familiar pop-crackle.  It
wasn't anywhere near as intense as the feeling had been with Lori, but
still there, still similar.  He opened himself slightly, tried to read
her.  A rush of pheromones hit him.  He shut down quickly, dropped his
hand.  "Cousins?"

"Yes.  But not close.  I told you that."  Rand's eyes were suddenly
hard.  She moved closer.  "Captain, have I told you what an honor it
is to be serving with you again."  She reached for him and he suddenly
understood why he'd always shied away from any involvement with her. 
Understood too why she had called so to the beast inside him.

She moved closer, the pheromones she was putting out were far less
intense than Lori's had been, but somehow, Rand's were more obvious,
easier for him to identify and to resist.

"I imagine Lori was the star of your family, Janice, if you are
typical of it.  You have all the subtlety of a photon torpedo."

She shot him a surprised look.  She reached for him again and he
exploded, tired of games, tired of bestial leers and werewolf
pheromones that left him cold and made him feel dirty.  As his anger
erupted, a bolt of current arced out of his hand into hers.  She
screamed and yanked her hand away.  Where the energy bolt had gone
through her palm, the skin was charred black.

He'd finally learned how to do that.  Weasel would be so proud.

She backed away from him.  "What are you?"

"Didn't Lori tell you?"  Maybe Rand wasn't lying about not being very
close to her more illustrious cousin?

"She didn't notice me most of the time, let alone talk about anything
important.  Please?  Just tell me what you are?"  Rand's voice was no
longer harsh; it had fallen to the almost little-girl tones she'd used
on him when they'd served together before.

He didn't find the act any more alluring than he did her pheromones. 
"I'm your commanding officer."

Her smile fell.  Cradling her hand, she turned to go.  

"I didn't dismiss you, Rand."

She turned to look at him, held up her burnt hand--the charred edges
already looked slightly less black.  "I need to get to sickbay."

"I thought your kind healed fast."

"Are you saying I can't go to sickbay?"

"Man your post, Janice."

"You said I could make some calls."

"That was before I knew who and what you'd be calling.  Do it on your
break."

"You're meaner than I remember."  Rand took a step toward him.  She
licked her lips, a quick, hungry movement.  "But then I always knew
it...always felt it.  Did you feel it too?  How much I wanted you?"

"Haven't I made it clear that I'm not interested?"  He moved away from
her.  "Never have been, never will be."

"You have no one here.  No Spock glued to your side, no McCoy to patch
you up when you get hurt.  You're alone.  I could be an asset. 
Someone to watch your back."

"I've got someone at my back.  Someone far scarier than you, Janice."

Rand smirked.  "Who? Uhura?  Chekov?"

"Chris."

She frowned, as if she couldn't figure out who he meant.  "Chris who?"

He smiled.  Either Lori had kept Rand completely in the dark or his
former yeoman was an incredibly good actress.  "Chapel.  Your friend,
if I remember correctly?"

"Christine?  Christine Chapel?"  Her laughter was cruel.  "You think
I'm afraid of her?  She's harmless."

"She was never that, Janice."  He turned to go, suddenly wanting to
see Chris.  "I expect you to behave on board my ship.  Do that, and
I'll forget what you are.  I'm not one to hold your origins against
you."

She didn't move.  Her smile was mocking.  As if she didn't think he
could stop her if she wanted to misbehave.

"Push me, and we'll see how long you can live when the air is full of
aerosolized wolfsbane.  It won't harm a human.  But a wolfgirl like
you?"  He gave her his coldest smile.  "You can thank your harmless
friend for that inspiration."

Her smile faded, and he hoped to god she didn't get a notion to do any
research.  Chris had told him when they'd been trying to come up with
weapons to use against Lori that such a mixture would be lethal--for
everyone.  Even if she'd had that much wolfsbane lying around, she
would never mix up such a biologically devastating agent.

"As you were, Rand."

He turned on his heel and left.  

As he walked toward sickbay, Rand's word echoed in his ears.  "You're
alone."  He wasn't quite as alone as she thought.  McCoy would be
back--probably kicking and screaming, but still back.  And soon.

But Spock?  Spock was gone.  Spock wasn't coming back.  Kirk would
give anything in his power to make it right between them again.  He'd
turned his back on his own feelings, kept Chris as a friend when
everything inside him cried out for her as a lover--as a mate.  He'd
done that out of loyalty.  Out of honor.

What if Spock didn't care about those things anymore?  What if he
couldn't care less what Chris did?  Or with whom?

And how long would Kirk wait to find out that he could have had her
all along if only he hadn't been such a fool?  Would he wait until
they were out of time?

A nurse looked up as he walked into sickbay.  

"Doctor Chapel?" he asked.

"She took a break, sir.  I think she went back to her quarters."

"Thank you, Nurse...?"

She smiled.  "Tebeau, sir."  She turned back to the inventory she was
working on.

Chris was in her quarters?  Wonderful.  It was the perfect place to
share his new insight before he had to get back to the bridge.

-----------------

Christine sat wearily on her bed.  Her brain felt muzzy, and she knew
that she'd have screamed if she'd stayed in sickbay one more minute
answering question after question that she'd never prepared for.  Why
had she thought it would be a good idea to be CMO?

When the chime rang, she didn't get up, just said, "Come."  She had to
repeat it for the computer--the first time it didn't hear her.

Jim smiled as he walked in.  "Miss me?"

All tiredness forgotten, she ran to him.  He caught her up in his
arms, and her tension seemed to drain away.  She felt herself relax
for the first time since she'd reported to the Enterprise.

"What are you doing here?"  She nestled her head against his neck, the
warm, familiar smell of him calming her even more.

"Couldn't let you have all the fun."  His hands were moving across her
back, easing away her tension.

She felt herself begin to tremble against him.  

He seemed to also, because his arms tightened around her.  "Chris,
what is it?"

"This is harder than I thought, Jim.  I can face down vampires and
hellbeasts, but I don't know what I'm doing as CMO.  They all keep
looking to me, and I don't think I can do this.  I was crazy to think
I was ready to be in charge of sickbay."

He stroked her hair.  "For what it's worth, I think you are ready for
it.  But what if I told you that you don't have to?"

She pulled away, shook her head.  "You're not transferring me off,
dammit, just because we've got big-time danger out there."

He laughed.  "Nothing quite so dire.  In fact, you may have just made
what I have to say sound like good news."  He stroked her cheek, his
touch gentle, tender.

She closed her eyes at the sensation.  "What's your news?"

"I'm bumping you back to deputy."

She opened one eye.  "Why?"

He laughed.  "See you're convinced you can't do it until it's being
yanked away."

"You're yanking it away?"

He nodded.  "I'm not here as an observer, Chris.  I'm here as the
captain.  And I convinced Nogura to bring back McCoy."

She couldn't figure out if she was mad or relieved at being demoted. 
Maybe when she wasn't quite so tired, she'd know what to feel.  For
now, all she cared about was that he was on the ship--with her.  "And
you think Len's going to beam up without a fight?"

He shrugged.  "Reserve activations clauses are tricky things."  He
grinned, then his grin faded, his face becoming deadly serious.  "I
need him."

She felt a pang at his forlorn expression.  Reaching up, she ruffled
his hair.  "I know you do."

"I had another reason for demoting you."  His voice was huskier than
she'd ever heard it.

She met his gaze, couldn't look away.  "You did?"

He nodded.  He touched her cheek again, but this time his hand
lingered, tracing the lines of her face.  "I couldn't do this to a
direct report."

"Well, it's not advised, that's for sure." She leaned into his hand.

He smiled, it was a sad expression.  But one full of determination. 
And desire.  "He's not coming back, Chris."

"Spock?"

He nodded.  "I have to accept that.  He's not coming back.  He'll
never forgive us, hell, he probably doesn't even care about us
anymore."  He pulled her closer.

"He probably doesn't."

"That thing we're rushing to meet may kill us.  We could die and I'd
never have the chance to do this again."  He moved slowly, nothing
rushed or desperate about his motion as his lips touched hers, pressed
down.

She moaned.  He was kissing her.  Finally, he was kissing her without
pulling away in a rush just when the kiss got good.  His arms
tightened around her, his hands moving over her back, possessive and
gentle and causing her skin to tingle everywhere he touched her.

He finally drew away.  But it was a slow movement, and he held her
still, his hands warm on her back.   His smile was so sweet that she
felt something twist inside her.

She loved this man so much it hurt.  

"Jim?"

"He's not coming back."  

She didn't argue with him.

He leaned in again, his lips touching down on her face for fleeting
little kisses as he said, "I had to tell Will he wasn't captain
anymore.  I lied to him.  I told him I was demoting him temporarily. 
But this isn't a temporary thing.  Nogura gave me the ship, Chris. 
I'm not going anywhere."

"You're not?"  She frowned, looked down.  "You made a deal with the
devil then.  He'll expect us to find Kirsu even faster with both of us
working on it."

"We'll deal with that.  At least Lori's out of the way." 

She frowned.  "I don't understand."

"You didn't hear about the transporter accident?"

"I did.  That was Lori?"  Why hadn't Janice mentioned that?  It wasn't
everyday an admiral was killed in a routine beam up.   "So she's dead?
 Why don't I feel safer? "

Jim didn't look any more relieved.  "I know.  Something feels off to
me too."  He seemed to be considering his next words too carefully.

"Just spill it. Whatever bad news you have."

"Rand's a werewolf."

"And I'm the tooth fairy, Jim."

"I'm not kidding.  She's Lori's cousin.  And she's a werewolf."  He
smiled slightly.  "Not a very smart one..."

Christine just stared at him.  Could her life get any weirder?  She'd
palled around drinking hot chocolate with her vampire nemesis without
catching on that he was undead, now one of her friends turned out to
be a werewolf.  "It's a new thing?  She was just bitten?"

He shook his head.

"How do I miss this stuff?"

He smiled.  "You weren't looking for it."  He sighed.  "Janice isn't a
threat.  It's Lori I'm worried about."  He shook his head.  "How
discreetly can you run some tests on those remains?"

"Pretty damn discreetly.  Don't worry.  I'll look into it."  

"I want to be sure before we tell Nogura that she's dead."

"We can't work for Nogura.  We can't give him Kirsu."

"Who says we will?  All we have to do is make a good show of looking."
 He tipped her face up.  "He doesn't need to know that you can get to
Kirsu anytime you want.  We'll hunt for it for a while.  It may be the
only way to protect it.  Would you rather he had someone leading the
search who might actually find it?"

"Someone like Decker?"  She shook her head.  "What's going to happen
to him?"

"He'll become first officer if he wants to stay on the Enterprise.  Or
he can transfer off to a new ship and be a captain again.  Nogura will
see that he's treated right."  Jim started touching her, his hands
roaming all over her body, making it difficult for her to think.

"And us?"

"We're here.  We'll be here.  Together.  Far away from the slaying and
the madness.  Although I think you're stronger now.  So much stronger.
 We could have stayed on Earth and you'd have been fine.  But I like
it here better.  Barring the big evil thing out there, you're safer
here with me than on Earth with me."  His lips were on her hair, near
her ear.  He whispered, "Notice that 'with me' part."

She smiled.  "I did notice that."

"Emma told me I should be with you.  Did you know that?"

She shook her head...barely--unwilling to do anything that might cause
him to move even a millimeter away from her.

"She did.  I told her I couldn't be with you."  He kissed his way down
to her neck, began to nuzzle it, his lips touching down gently on the
marks David had made.  "But I was wrong.  So stupid.  Spock's not
coming back.  Ever."

"No, he's not."

"I stayed away from you.  I tried to do the right thing."

She wrapped her arms more tightly around him.  "You did do the right
thing.  You didn't betray him, Jim."

"Didn't I?  I've been in love with you for a long time, Chris." 

"Not when he and I were together."

"No.  Not then."

"So see."  She let go of him so that she could stroke his cheek,
enjoying the freedom she had, the unaccustomed joy of touching him
wherever and however she wanted.  "You aren't betraying him now.  And
he doesn't care anyway.  Not anymore."

"I know."  He kissed her, the gentle kiss quickly turning into
something not gentle at all.  He pressed against her, his need for her
apparent as he pushed her back against the bed, following her down
when she collapsed onto the soft covers.  He kissed her for a long
time, then she pushed him to his back.  She stared down at him before
kissing him again.

He moaned, his arms pulling her on top of him.  His lips felt hot, his
tongue seemed to be everywhere at once and she moaned.  He pushed her
off him, rolled onto her, his hands touching her places he'd never
allowed himself to go near before.  She began to undo his uniform.

He pulled away, his hand coming up to cover her fingers.  "No."

"No?  But you said."

"Not like this.  Not a rushed five minutes before I have to get to the
bridge."

She smiled.  "But five minutes might be all we'll ever have."

He shook his head.  "It'll take hours to get to the rendezvous point. 
We'll steal one for ourselves."  He kissed her.  "It won't be enough
but it'll be better than this."  His eyes were gentle, full of some
tender humor.  "I want more than five minutes, Chris.  We've waited so
long.  We can wait a few more hours."

"Speak for yourself, buster."  She fidgeted underneath him, saw him
groan as her body rubbed up against some very sensitive parts.

"Witch."

She laughed, kissed him again.  "You seem to have me confused with a
werewolf, love."  Spike's endearment seemed entirely appropriate.

Jim seemed to think so too.  His smile grew and he kissed her again. 
Then he moved off her.  "I have to get back.  But we'll meet later. 
I'll comm you."

She pulled him back for a quick kiss.  "I love you."  

He smiled.  "I love you too."  He ran his hand down her body, slowly,
lingering over any area that gave her pleasure.  He looked at her, and
she saw some remaining hesitation warring with his desire.  "No reason
anymore not to do this," he said softly.

He seemed to need reassurance so she said, "Not a reason in the world
to keep us apart."

Her words had the desired effect.  He kissed her then whispered, "I'll
see you later."  He grinned.  "All of you."

She laughed, wondered if she'd be able to hide the huge smile on her
face until she saw him again.  When they'd be together.  Finally,
they'd be together.  Even if it was only until this unknown thing
heading for Earth killed them all.

---------------------------

Kirk leaned back in the center seat, truly happy for the first time in
a very long while.  The ship was his again.  And Chris was too.  He
had it all.

Possibly only for as long as it took to get out to the alien thing,
but he'd take what he could get.  Besides he'd beaten the odds before.
 Maybe it was the magic?  Or just that he could never give up.  It
wasn't in his nature to accept defeat.

Why had he accepted it with Chris?  Why had he thought he had to give
her up out of some loyalty to Spock, when his friend had completely
forgotten about him and her?

He sighed.  Had he really thought Spock would just show back up on the
ship and say, "Here I am, Jim.  Ready for duty."  Ready to be his
friend again.  All anger gone, all betrayals forgiven?

It was idiotic.  Spock was gone.  Forever.

Kirk watched as Ilia plotted a new course, away from the shuttle that
had docked briefly with the ship before pulling away again.  Chekov
hadn't come back, which was probably good.  Kirk was afraid that his
security officer's neck was going to have a permanent crick from
sneaking looks at the Deltan.  Sulu too seemed to be unusually helpful
with the nav board.

Kirk smiled.  Ilia was attractive but maybe he'd been around Lori's
pheromones too long because he didn't feel particularly drawn to hers.
 Or maybe loving a Slayer and before that a fire demon had spoiled him
for a garden-variety Deltan?

His exec was obviously not immune.  Nor was Ilia unaware of Decker. 
Kirk could tell there was significant history between them.

But that was none of his business.  He smiled.  He had some history of
his own he wanted to rewrite.  He could leave the bridge now and steal
away for an hour or maybe two.  With McCoy on board, Chris could sneak
away without feeling guilty.  Hell, she didn't have to even sneak. 
She could just take a break.  He didn't think Bones would begrudge her
that, and if he did, Kirk would have something to say about it.

He smiled.  It had been touch and go there for a moment with McCoy. 
He hadn't been sure his friend would let down his guard, would let him
back in.   But somehow Kirk had found the magic words.

Such simple words: "I need you."  Words he wasn't sure he could have
said before.  They would have meant admitting defeat.  But somehow the
time he'd spent with Chris and Weasel had taught him there was no
shame in bending enough to say that you needed your friends around to
keep you safe and sane.  And on the straight and narrow.

He needed his friends.  And he needed Chris even more.  "Kirk to
sickbay."

"Sickbay here, sir."  

He thought he recognized Tebeau's voice.  "Is Doctor Chapel there?"

"She and Doctor McCoy are on their way up to the bridge, sir."

"Perfect."  He smiled.  Had Chris felt him thinking about her? 
Thinking about the way he'd run his hands over her, how they'd kissed?

He realized he'd better stop thinking of those things if he wanted to
leave his chair anytime soon.  He forced his thoughts back to the
probe; it had the desired effect.

There was a sudden quiet hubbub on the bridge, a murmur of voices all
talking at once.  Chekov walked past him, a strange look on his face. 
Kirk saw Uhura break into a huge smile; she glanced at Kirk.

He turned.  Felt his breath catch in his throat.  Spock.   Spock was
on the bridge--on his ship.  His friend was back.

"Spock!  Spock, where...how...?"

He knew the grin he was wearing threatened to split his face as he
moved toward Spock.

Spock turned away, moving to Decker and the science station. 
"Commander, if I may?"

He hadn't even acknowledged his greeting.  Kirk swallowed hard.  His
friend was back.

And he obviously had forgiven nothing.

Spock's voice was cold as ice as he said, "I have been monitoring your
Starfleet transmissions, Captain, and your engine design
difficulties."  He began to punch something into the computer.

Captain still.  Not Jim--Captain.  Kirk felt his smile fading away.

Spock turned to him and Decker.  "I offer my services as Science
Officer."

Kirk's smile came back.  He couldn't help it, he grinned as he ordered
Chekov to log Spock back into active duty and his old position.  Even
a still resentful Spock at his side improved their chances of getting
out of this alive.

Their chances.  Chris.  Chris didn't know Spock was here.  Did she? 
Or was that why she and Bones were heading up?

The elevator opened.  Her reaction was vintage Christine Chapel. 
"Mister Spock!"

McCoy was more restrained, "So help me, I'm actually pleased to see
you."

Kirk watched Chris closely.  For all her apparent happiness, she was
watching Spock closely, as if he was a vampire that might turn on her
any second.  For his part, Spock barely glanced at her, turning and
dismissing her and all of them as he went back to work.

Uhura took a step toward him.  "That's how we all feel, Mister..." 
She trailed off as Spock turned a cold look on her, then turned to
look at Kirk.

"With your permission, I will now discuss these fuel equations with
the Engineer."

Their eyes seemed to lock, and Kirk searched desperately for the
friend he had loved, the friend he would have died for.  All he saw
was a cold shell of a man who lacked even the scant warmth of a
typical Vulcan.   Spock turned away, clearly dismissing them all.

Kirk tried desperately to connect with him.  "Mister Spock.  Welcome
aboard."

He thought he saw Spock hesitate for an infinitesimal moment but it
could have been just wishful thinking.  The doors closed on Spock's
back.  His friend had not even wanted to look at him.

Maybe Kirk should reevaluate those odds of survival again?  He glanced
over at McCoy who shrugged before walking over to Uhura's station.

Chris stood staring at Kirk.  There was nothing happy in her
expression.  In fact, she looked stricken.

Kirk turned to Decker, "You have the conn, Will."  Then he walked to
her, touching her only long enough to get her moving to the lift.

"Jim--"

His curt headshake cut her off.  She looked miserable as she stepped
into the lift.  They rode in silence until the doors opened and he led
her to his quarters.  When he palmed the doors opened, she hung back.

"Chris.  We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk.  Not about him.  Not about how his coming back
ruins everything."  She turned and he reached out, grabbing her arm
and stopping her.

He could feel her about to react, knew that he couldn't hold her. 
"Chris.  Please?"

She turned back, tears in her eyes.  "Don't.  Don't use that tone with
me.  You know what it does.  You know I can't fight you when you talk
to me that way."

He nodded.  Didn't stop using that tone when he said, "Come in. 
Please."

She pulled free of his arm and walked past him to the viewscreen.  She
stared out at the stars, her back hunched slightly.

"It would be easier talking to your face."

She didn't turn around.  "He's not the Spock we knew.  You saw him. 
He's purged his emotions.  He actually did it."

"I'm not sure of that."

She did turn around.  "Wake up, Jim.  He's gone.  He's not ever coming
back."  She wiped at her tears angrily.  "He wasn't glad to see you or
me or anyone else.  He's not Spock.  He just looks like Spock."  She
looked down.  "Like a vampire.  The real person is gone."

He stepped closer.  "The real person isn't gone in that case either. 
You know it, and David proved it."

She closed her eyes.  "He's not there, Jim.  Don't throw us away."

He pulled her into his arms, realized immediately that it was a stupid
thing to do.  Would he ever be able to hold her and not know that he'd
nearly had her?

"Don't throw me away," she whispered, her arms tightening around him
almost painfully.

"I'm not throwing you away.  I'll always be here.  I'll always be your
friend.  Whenever you need me, I'll be there for you.  You know that."

She pulled away.  "I want more than that."

"I don't think that's possible.  Not while he's here."  He reached
out, touched her cheek.  "I can't betray him again."

He saw something hard in her expression, something fierce.  "He's not
the Spock we knew.  I know that.  You will too in time.  And I can
wait."  She laid her hand over his.  "I can wait for you to see that
too.  Then it won't matter to you, and we can be together."

He could feel the heat rising between them and pulled away.  "It may
be a long wait."

"I don't care; I can wait."  She smiled, but the look was slightly
mocking.  "If I don't die in the meantime."  She turned away from him.

"Chris.  Please."  

She waited.

What did he want her to do?  What did he think he could have from her?
 Why torture himself like this?

"What, Jim?  Please what?"

"Nothing.  Never mind."

She nodded tightly and left the room without looking at him.  He
turned to the viewscreen.  The stars had always soothed him in the
past.  Why did they make him feel even emptier this time?


End part 1 of 3

--
Forwarded to ASCL by:
Stephen Ratliff
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