Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!newsswing.news.prodigy.com!prodigy.net!prodigy.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!ngpeer.news.aol.com!audrey-m1.news.aol.com!not-for-mail Lines: 440 X-Admin: news@aol.com From: gojirob@aol.comendspam (Rob Morris) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Date: 13 Dec 2004 01:49:48 GMT Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Subject: REP ENT Holiday Stories, G-PG13, 1/1, Various Message-ID: <20041212204948.15947.00002138@mb-m02.aol.com> Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative:161561 X-Received-Date: Sun, 12 Dec 2004 17:50:06 PST (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title : Don't You Tell A Single Soul Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogogojirob@aol.comendallspam Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : ENT Type : Xmas story Characters : T'Pol Part : 1/1 Rating : PG Summary : If the crew found 'Carbon Creek' hard to swallow, wait'll -- Don't You Tell a Single Soul by Rob Morris CHRISTMAS EVE, 2152 Hoshi finished up her story. "...but then he discovered that the civilization in question had been, by the standards of most worlds, very wicked. The supernova ended their evil, and its light was seen on Earth as the Star Of Bethlehem, while its charged particles caused rains on Kelielan Four that ended decades of drought. In every instance, it served a need." The only person left was not seen as likely to offer a tale, but T'Pol proved them wrong by rising. "Mine is merely an urban legend, as it is sometimes called. But those involved have veracity to me, so I will not discount the possibility it is true." She had their attention, and kept on. "A Vulcan scout-ship scanned Pre-Contact Earth. They often found nothing of import over this decades-long mission." -------------------------------------------------------------- 2000 "T'Vek, what is that you read?" "Oh. Sotel, I am intrigued by this offering of Terran Samuel Clemens. 'The Mysterious Stranger' speaks of an odd being from the future, almost serenely pure and unemotional. It is, however, doubtful Clemens ever encountered such a one on this world. Has the anomaly come up yet?" Sotel checked scans. "No. Still, one must be watching at that exact moment, or it will be missed. I have observed the Russians truly pushing the video concept known as television. Yet the only story of note came when the crew of a whaler described what I can only call a warp-nacelled, cloaked stellar-capable ship. It stopped their hunt of the endangered cetaceans, and moved on. I believe it to be unrelated to our anomaly, though." T'Vek saw the time, and saw put aside the older tabloid which spoke of a billionaire computer maker being kidnapped by UFO's. "Sotel--we have contact." As always, the readings vanished. "And now, T'Vek, we do not. Frustrating. Why does it do that? And within an atmosphere?" T'Vek pulled out two small plates. "We require pie." Sotel nodded. "Indeed." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2152 Archer shrugged. "So what did they scan?" T'Pol waited the barest of moments before answering. "A small, mega-warp-capable craft within Earth's atmosphere. It was quite literally moving quickly enough to be everywhere on the planet in one instant." Tucker waved his hands. "One, its just impossible to move that fast. Two, its twice as impossible to do it within a solar system, let alone an atmosphere. Just when was this supposed to have occurred?" T'Pol gave the answer. "Once a year, at 12:01 AM, on December 25th, from a theorized polar launch site." T'Pol left the room. As eyes widened and jaws dropped, Reed asked his Captain's opinion. "Did she get us, sir?" Archer smiled. "I don't view it as being gotten, Malcolm. I view it as the hope that one night, Ambassador Soval will be visited by three ghosts." --- Title : As Sharp As Any Thorn Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogogojirob@aol.comendallspam Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : The Enterprise-AU, Land Of Canon Type : A Christmas story that takes the TOS and TNG histories of the 21st Century into account. Characters : All, including Paula Napolitano (AU T'Pol) Part : 1/1 Rating : For discussion of Post-Atomic Horror Summary : Media-altered saints, objects given life, anthropomorphized ---------------------------- As Sharp as Any Thorn by Rob Morris DECEMBER 25TH, 2151 They entered the central greenhouse. Paula looked at the tree. She placed beneath it tiny figurines of 21st-Century children who saw no Christmas trees, only a hideously bright flash. "It would do him good to see how fine and green a place it is." Travis brought out a small ship, a carved replica of the lost trading freighter he had been recruited from. "When a man is no longer there, he leaves an awfully big hole." Phlox placed a stethoscope, its severed line reattached, under the tree. "Herod commanded that no aid be given the fallen, else the healers would also fall. These are also the words of Colonel Green, on this day that is now merely to be known as 1225." Trip held up his arms. "This is no more a purification colony. As Executive Officer, I forbid anyone to hold someone else here against their will, or their faith. If ordered to do so, I will refuse and act against the issuing of this order, which I say is unlawful. If one is to leave now, they will be applauded for bravery, not taunted with words like heathen and pagan. I will not recant these words. So go ahead and fire." Hoshi held out her opened palms. "You say these words are not meant for all that live. You have erased the records, and burned the books, and kept the words memorized unto yourselves. You think that only prayers, directed by you elite, will undo the blight we poor stupid things have brought upon the Earth. We will find other copies. The mystery of faith will not be held in certain places, by literati who bear a shield of nuclear ignorance." Reed bit his lip, then spoke. "All the people you have rid yourselves of, on this little island of ours. All the ones who didn't belong. How dare you petty things that murdered and who abided the murder of your neighbors make bold, passionate entreaties to one of the only real kings ever to decide it was alright not to be born in a palace? Have you even asked for his forgiveness? Or that of those you made to vanish? Well, you shan't have mine. You ask me to remove the Gunpowder Day mask I wear? Remove yours, first. Happy Christmas. England Prevails. Or are those merely more of my riddles?" Captain Archer completed the circle. "We won't feast, while supply lines, haunted as they are by pirates and slavers, are cut off in the remote areas. We won't feast while the rad zones are still yielding up a harvest of walking dead, terrorizing those in the unfortunate border regions. We give thanks for life and the hope of tomorrow, for that is all we have." All turned to the specialized hybrid of conifer tree that was genetically bred to clean the tainted rad zones. Phlox plucked a needle, the first such tree being a gift from his people, when they learned of the planet still in need of cleansing and rebirth. Archer kept on. "See this pine tree that somehow grows golden apples that glow. See the pears whose skins are like hulls that must never be pierced. See the sprouts of the holly and the ivy. Remember well that first Christmas after the bombs came, when a simple world-wide audio hook-up, punctuated by hours-long bursts of static, let anyone who still held on to any kind of faith that it was alright to do so. Remember when the light from the Star Of Bethlehem shone even through the mushroom clouds that dotted the Earth like a dead log." The tree kept well its deadly inner light, and most of the crew departed. Napolitano and Archer remained. "Jonathan? Will this holiday ever be joyous again?" Archer shrugged. "People remember, then people forget. It takes on new meaning, and then it seems to lose all meaning. It seems inclusive, and then without warning it is once again the decried as typical of the narrow view of one faith. The green reminds us of giving and new birth. The red reminds us of the death that comes from covetous greed, and of ignoring what we know to be true. Red and Green. Holly And Ivy. Beautiful in many respects, but as sharp as any thorn. They're both always with us." They would both live to see a time of renewed conspicuous consumption and of forgetting all the 'old badness', which wasn't really what it was, but that's what it was called. Both also knew that the pendulum would swing back, and so enjoyed themselves for what time they had. ---------------------------------------------- The holly and the ivy, When they are both full grown, Of all the trees that are in the wood, The holly bears the crown. O the rising of the sun, And the running of the deer, The playing of the merry organ, Sweet singing in the choir. The holly bears a blossom As white as lily flower; And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ To be our sweet Savior. The holly bears a berry As red as any blood; And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ To do poor sinners good. The holly bears a prickle As sharp as any thorn; And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ On Christmas day in the morn. The holly bears a bark As bitter as any gall; And Mary bore sweet Jesus Christ For to redeem us all. The holly and the ivy, When they are both full grown, Of all the trees that are in the wood, The holly bears the crown. -- Title : If Rankin-Bass Wrote Enterprise Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogogojirob@aol.comendallspam Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : ENT parody Rating : G Part : 1/1 Characters : Captain Nicholas Kringle, Helmsman Rudolph, Comm Officer Clarice, Navigator Nestor, Doctor Frosty, Chief Engineer Yukon Cornelius, and First Officer Hermie Summary : But do you recall--the most revisionist ST series of all? -- If Rankin-Bass Wrote Enterprise by Rob Morris 2151 The Captain entered the Bridge, a quite jolly CO. A red-nosed reindeer entered with him. "Ho--so this is the Starship Enterprise. The ship that can take us all over the known galaxy in one night. Its been a long road getting here." Rudolph developed a bit of a sneer. "Begging the Captain's pardon, but we'd have gotten this ship moving a lot faster if the Elves hadn't acted to hold us back, all these years." "No one knows that better than I, Rudolph. Why, the Kringles worked with Zefram Cochrane to develop the basic technology for this ship. But for now, let's ignore the Elves and...." *Put One Foot In Front Of The Other, And Soon We'll Be Warping Through Plutoooo; Put One Foot In Front Of The Other--And Soon We'll Be Warping Past The Borg!* His song done, Captain Kringle took a tour of his ship. A small donkey tripped over his enormous ears, running over to him. "Ensign Nestor, reporting for duty, Captain. I'm--I'm Navigation. Sorry about the ears. I'm not an Elf, by the way." Lt. Cmdr. Rudolph lit up his nose, and smiled at the nervous youngster. "Don't worry, kid. This isn't the 20th Century. We misfits all have a place, here in Starfleet. See...." *We're a couple of misfits; But we beat all the bigots; Now's the era for misfits; That's how we will win!* The small donkey perked up. "Thank you, sir. I feel like I could carry this whole ship on my back, now." Into the Doctor's offices they went, finding the Doctor quite immobile. Rudolph grabbed something in his mouth. "Capftan--hif environmental headgeat!" Captain Kringle placed the headgear upon the resident of Haagen Daaz One. He awoke with a start. "Happy Birthday! Boy, this is a really neat ship. I can't wait til somebody gets sick and nearly dies." Doctor Frosty needed to work on his bedside manner. In Engineering, Kringle and Rudolph were nearly skewered by a pick-axe. "Sorry, sirs. Just testin' the warp field stability." Engineer Cornelius then tasted the edge of the pick-axe. "Nothin'. Not a trace of deuterium, or other warp-field by-products. Keep tryin' boys!" Leaving the odd man to his work, Captain Kringle called over another reindeer. "Rudolph, this is our translator and Communications Officer, Clarice." Rudolph nodded. "Hi, Clarice. Long time no see." "That was your choice, Rudolph. You left without saying goodbye." "If I had said goodbye--could you have let me go?" She looked down. "No. You're--you're still cute, Rudolph." As she walked away, Rudolph smiled. "She thinks I'm cute!" Finally, the Elf shuttle arrived. Rudolph looked at his Captain. "You know he's gonna say it. All elves say it. Its in their silver and gold blood." "Rudolph, there's a line regarding such comments. Now, I don't like this much more than you. But the Elves have been as much help as hindrance, as we sought out this last frontier." "He's gonna say it!" The Elf, Sub-Commander Hermie, looked about as he disembarked. "Ahh. Humans and Reindeer. Such a tragic lack of proper Elfin dental hygiene." Before Kringle could order Rudolph not to say the obvious, the Elf got to the point with typical bluntness. "Captain, let me see your prisoner." The shaggy abomination was bound in the brig. Hermie studied the alien. "Captain, we can't return this Bumbles! His teeth have all been removed. His people will regard him as forever lost, and view us with anger for retrieving him this way." Kringle shook his head. "No. We're taking this fella home, Sub-Commander. This is a North Pole operation, not an Elf one, last I checked." And so the standoff began. Next Week : The chronally shadowed figure stared at Kringle. "You want to know who I am, Nicholas? Wellll....." *I'm Mister Revision; I'm Mister Chron; I'm Mister AUness; I'm Mister Anomalous; They call me TimeMiser; Whatever I touch; Alters history in my clutch; I'm--too much---* Smaller versions of the figure then began to dance and sing in front of him, providing a chorus. -------------------------------------------- "Your would-be attackers don't like you. Your would-be rescuers don't like you. Harry, *most* people don't like you." - Peter Kirk to Harry Mudd, 'Lawful Warrant' NewMessage: