Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.pas.earthlink.net!elnk-nf2-pas!newsfeed.earthlink.net!newshub.sdsu.edu!tethys.csu.net!nntp.csufresno.edu!sn-xit-02!sn-xit-06!sn-post-01!supernews.com!corp.supernews.com!not-for-mail From: billfl@hiwaay.net (Bill Livingston) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Subject: NEW ALL: "Five and a Half Things That Never Happened on Star Trek" (5/6) (PG) Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 06:00:08 GMT Organization: Almost None Message-ID: <41fdc839.7223737@newstoo.hiwaay.net> X-Newsreader: Forte Free Agent 1.11/16.235 X-Complaints-To: abuse@supernews.com Lines: 90 Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative:162186 X-Received-Date: Sun, 30 Jan 2005 22:02:04 PST (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title: Last Rites for a Warrior Series: Five and a Half Things That Never Happened on Star Trek Part: 1/1 (Story), 5/6 (Series) Author: Bill Livingston (billfl@hiwaay.net) Series: ENT Rating: [PG] Codes: A, S, T, Ph Summary: Captain Archer has to observe "honor" - and pays a price Note the first: As you may have guessed, this is inspired in part by Rocky's "5 Things That Never Happened to Kira Nerys". I asked her if I could borrow the premise, who was nice enough not only to say yes, but to point out that it's been used before. Thanks, Rocky. Note the second: There's going to be one of these for each series, plus one more (hence the "half"). Archive: OK anywhere, as long as title and authorship remain unchanged. Any MSTers welcome, just let me know. 8-] Disclaimer: "Star Trek" and all related characters and situations are trademarks of and © Desilu/Paramount/Viacom. All rights are reserved. Feedback in ASC and by email is welcome. If you liked it, please let me know. If not, please let me know. In either case, please let me know *why*. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- LAST RITES FOR A WARRIOR By Bill Livingston "We return your fallen warrior, Klaang" said Hoshi Sato. "He died in battle - with honor." *Honor my foot!* Jonathan Archer thought as the Ensign translated Ambassador Soval's words for him. *He got gut shot by an Oklahoma farmer after he tried to murder him.* An accurate enough summation, he thought, but not one designed to go over well with his current hosts. The chancellor of the Empire scowled, and intoned a series of guttural syllables that sounded, to Jonathan Archer, for all the world like a large dog choking on a chicken bone. "He says that Klaang is in Sto'Vo'Kor - it's the Klingon version of heaven - and that they will announce him. I think that last part is right." The Vulcan diplomat and his party were roughly shouldered aside as the Chancellor and Council members surrounded Klaang's chamber and pulled the lid open. They seemed to be clawing at Klaang's face, Archer noted with no small distaste, almost pulling the dead warrior's eyelids off. "I still think this was a bad idea!" he whispered to his companion. "I will admit, I dislike the idea of simply allowing a patient to die," the Denobulan physician said in a low yet agreeable tone (Archer had never heard the man sound anything *but* agreeable). "But I'm more than willing to admit that my experience with these 'Klingons' is nil. So for the moment, I'm perfectly content to allow the Vulcans to take the lead in this matter." "You should be grateful your command showed the same wisdom," the Vulcan woman on Archer's other side stated. "Had they consented to your scheme to return the Klingon in his state of infirmity, he would have merely been slain in disgrace - and yourself, as well, for dishonoring him." Archer declined to turn and face her, knowing that *look*, that smug-and-don't-care expression of superiority she seemed to wear constantly, would only inflame his already considerable sense of outrage. "I refuse to concede that delivering a corpse is somehow morally superior to nursing a living being back to health!" he hissed. "Then you are merely exhibiting the emotionally provincial behavior that has held your species back for so many years," was her reply. Archer's angry rejoinder was cut off by a low growl that issued from the group around Klaang's body, a growl that escalated to a shout, and finally a roar. Hoshi winced and Jonathan cupped his hands over his ears, noting (with some satisfaction) that Soval's emotionless facade cracked a bit as a fleeting expression of annoyance flashed across his face. Suddenly, the tumult of the Klingon ritual was drowned out by a sound even more overwhelming, as the ceiling of the giant hall exploded. Huge chunks of rock and metal rained into the room below as concentrated disruptor fire blasted the rest of the building into rubble. That day, Captain Jonathan Archer, Ensign Hoshi Sato, Ambassador Soval, Sub-Commander T'Pol, and Dr. Phlox became the first off-world fatalities in what became known as the Grand Klingon Civil War. Sadly, they were far from the last. NewMessage: