From: bil...@hiwaay.net (Bill Livingston)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: NEW ALL: "Five and a Half Things That Never Happened on Star Trek" (3/6) (PG)
Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2005 05:48:09 GMT
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Title:   Fair Play
Series:  Five and a Half Things That Never Happened on Star Trek
Part:    1/1 (Story), 3/6 (Series)
Author:  Bill Livingston (bil...@hiwaay.net)
Series:  DS9
Rating:  [PG]
Codes:   W/D

Summary: Some things never get any easier, even after 7 lifetimes.
Note the first: As you may have guessed, this is inspired in part by Rocky's
"5 Things That Never Happened to Kira Nerys".  I asked her if I could borrow
the premise, who was nice enough not only to say yes, but to point out that
it's been used before.  Thanks, Rocky.

Note the second: There's going to be one of these for each series, plus one
more (hence the "half").

Archive: OK anywhere, as long as title and authorship remain unchanged.  Any 
MSTers welcome, just let me know. 8-]

Disclaimer: "Star Trek" and all related characters and situations are 
trademarks of and © Desilu/Paramount/Viacom. All rights are reserved.

Feedback in ASC and by email is welcome.  If you liked it, please let me 
know.  If not, please let me know.  In either case, please let me know 
*why*.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
NATAL MANEUVERS
By Bill Livingston

"Push and breathe, commander, push and breathe - that's it, you're doing quite
well."

"This should not be challenging for you, Jadzia."

"Urrrgh!  Let's change - *huff* - change places and see you say that! *hufff*

"When I served aboard the Enterprise, I assisted Chief O'Brien's wife with the
delivery of her first child.  It was not particularly difficult."

"That's *hoosh* - not what Keiko said! *yyyyyergh!*"

"Mister Worf..."

Worf shook his head. "My apologies, Doctor Bashir.  Proceed."

"Thank you.  All right, Jadzia, just push."

"What do you think I've *been* doing?!?   _Arrrrgh!!!_

"Is this level of discomfort normal, Doctor?"

"Worf, I've given birth plenty of times - trust me it alwaaaIIIGH!s hurts!"

"Something about pain suppression techniques interfere with the Trill uterine
system.  It's quite unfortunate, but..."

"Klingon females do not use suppression techniques either, but they are not so
- vocal.  Perhaps they are better designed to endure pain."

Jadzia's eyes flashed dangerously.  "*huffhuffhuff* Maybe because they spend
their lives married to Klingon MALES!!!"

Bashir rolled his eyes - if he could, he'd have shooed the new Federation
Ambassador to the Klingon Empire out of the room, but both he and his wife had
wanted him there.  They had been through a lot -the Dominion War, the attack
on Jadzia by Gul Dukat that had nearly killed her, Worf's battle to the death
with Gowron, and now the disappearance of Captain Sisko, an act which may or
may not have kickstarted Commander Dax's delivery.  Small wonder they were
anxious to share this supremely sublime moment together.  The problem was
Worf's bedside manner - or lack thereof.  "Mister Worf, perhaps you should -"

"Doctor!  The head!"

"I see it!  Okay, Jadzia, push again!"

"YYYYRRRGGGHHHH!!"

The whole process took another excruciating half hour, but the end result was
as it had been for millennia on many different worlds.  A smiling Julian
Bashir wrapped the small, squirmy bundle in a thermal blanket and deposited it
in Jadzia's waiting arms.  He was tiny and wrinkled, with the beginning of his
father's prominent cranial ridges, and the faintest hint of his mother's
elegant system of spots - and, if the moment of his birth were any
indications, the healthiest set of lungs in the quadrant.

"Oh, Worf," Jadzia said, exhausted but smiling, "Isn't he the most beautiful
baby ever?"

Worf studied his new son intently.  "I believe that on that point, my wife,
there can be no argument."

Bashir was smiling as well.  "Congratulations to both of you.  Quote a healthy
young lad. Do you - do you have a name picked out yet?"

This had been a bit of a sore spot for them - the Ambassador had wanted a
traditional Klingon name for his new son, while the Commander fancied
something from her own homeworld.  Now, though, Worf nodded at Jadzia, and
they both they knew there was only one name for their son.

Dax turned to Bashir and smiled again - though it was a smile tinged with
sadness.  "We're going to name him 'Benjamin'."

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