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From: k_trojnar@hotmail.com (Kaytee)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Nemesis Story (second posting with revisions READ THIS ONE!!) P/C
Date: 3 Jan 2005 22:38:21 -0800
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**Ok: note to thos of you who m,ay have already encountered my first
posting: read this one instead: I realized about 5 minutes after
posting that my italics to indicate internal thoughts were not put
in...thus making the story a lot harder to read than it needs to be.
So enjoy this clarified format in which little *'s will be used to
signify thoughts.

Disclaimer: Paramount owns 'em yadda yadda yadda...

Summary: Beverly finally tells Jean-Luc the difference between
Author's note: This story is based on a deleted scene from the nemesis
dvd...if you've seen it, you'll be able to figure out which one. Oh!
and if you can think of a good title, I'm VERY open to sugguestions!

Nemesis Story

The casualties were slowly beginning to amass and Beverly Crusher
found herself very overworked, and very, very, tired. *But,* she
thought
to herself, *my pain is nothing compared to these poor patients of
mine. Gods, there's so much death onboard a starship.* Secretly,
though
she would not even admit the thought to herself, Beverly wondered just
how much longer she would be able to deal with it all.
She had spent the last few hours working in vain to try and save the
woman before her who wept desperately as her stomach and internal
organs continued to fill with blood. So involved in her treatment,
Beverly would not have noticed anything…except Jean-Luc Picard's
presence within the room. Since their joining on Kess-Prytt, it was as
if his mind had left an imprint on her own and she could feel when he
was near her: like a rush of warmth starting at the base of her spine
and traveling upwards.
He was near her now, and in spite of all that was happening around
her, she could not help but embrace this warm feeling inside of her.
In a hopeless attempt to relieve the dieing woman's pain, Beverly
administered a sedative. She gently wiped the sweat from the woman's
forehead, and briefly rested her hand on the woman's cheek, whispering
softly, "I'm sorry Tia, I wish there was something more I could do."
Still feeling Jean-Luc Picard's presence intensify, she turned around
to notice him quickly approaching her. Seeing the stern look upon his
face, she began her report before he even had a chance to address her.
She spoke about her work, but her mind was completely distant. *Oh
Jean, what are you hiding from me now?* she thought as she looked
compassionately upon his features. She could see the burdens of the
mission clearly on his shoulders, as they were rigid, as though he
were angered. His brow looked permanently knit, and his eyes were
hard, gray, and showed none of the love that they usually held for
her.
Before she realized, she had finished her report, and Jean-Luc nodded
his head and turned to leave. *NO* her mind screamed, *Don't let him
leave you like this!*
"Jean-Luc!" she called after him, reaching out to grab his arm before
he could retreat.
He turned to her, looking annoyed. But she saw beyond this look into
his hardened eyes, which had now began to soften with hope. *I'm his
best friend* she told herself, *what can I possibly say to help
him…*Then
she realized what he needed to hear more than anything else: "He's not
you" she asserted, looking firmly into his eyes.
His looked hardened once more, giving her an angry, almost fierce
look. Before she could speak again, he turned from her. At this point,
she was convinced he would leave her, walking out of her life…perhaps
forever. She had a strange, uneasy feeling about this mission, like
the presence of death's spirit pervading the entire ship. She saw him
walk towards the door, and was tempted to call after him again; or
even chase him down the halls until he agreed to talk to her. But
then, before she could do anything at all, he stopped in front of the
door, turned, and walked past her into her office.
*Good, it's time to talk* she thought. Taking a deep breath of relief,
she looked around, ensuring her sick bay was under control. She then
turned, and entered her office: closing and locking the door behind
her.

She looked at the man she loved, sanding before her; he held his hands
tightly clasped in front of him, as he paced around behind her desk.
He looked angry, distressed: like a lion caged for the first time.
In an attempt to soften his rage, she spoke softly, "Jean-Luc, I know
you're-"
"-What the HELL do you know?" he roared back at her. He had turned
from his pacing, and walked up to her so that he stood face to face
with her. "You say he's not me," he continued, shouting, "how do you
know? How the hell do you know?"
This was not the response she had expected from him at all. It had
been a long time since they had had a shouting contest like this, and
she did not want to start that tradition anew. Taking a calming
breath, she repeated, "Trust me, Jean-Luc, he's not you. You know-"
"Ha!" he spat at her, "trust you? Is that your evidence? That's all
you can say Beverly? Do you know how foolish you sound?"
"If you would let me finish just-"
"Why? So you can throw lies at me. That's the problem Beverly, there's
scientific evidence that proves he is me. We have the same DNA. This
is just silly. If you'll excuse me doctor, I have work to do." He
turned as if to leave, but she refused to end it like that. His words
had stung her to the core, and though she tried to tell herself that
he was just taking his anger about Schinzon out on her, her Howard
temper was beginning to win out.
Roughly, she grabbed his arm, and turned him to her. In a voice
equally as loud and passionate as his, she began "Jean-Luc, I know
he's not you because-"
"Oh!" he turned back to her, still yelling, but now in a mocking
fashion, "Oh! This ought to be good. What? Did you make something up
just now? Tell me my dear doctor, why on earth he-"
"God dammit Jean-Luc," her eyes had begun to gloss over with tears,
her cheeks grew increasingly red with frustration, and she shouted
back at him, "I know he's not you because I could never love him" he
suddenly stopped shouting as his eyes grew wide at her admission, "and
I have always loved you." At this, the tears in her eyes began to roll
down her cheeks. *That's it* she thought, *I've finally let go of my
deepest secret. The rest is up to him now.*
Picard stared at her, bewildered. *Of all the times to do this…* he
thought to himself. His deep rage brought him over the edge as he
lifted his hand to slap her, and drove it at her with all of his
force.
Seeing his arm coming towards her, she instinctively lifted her own
hand, and caught his arm in mid-swing. *He would have knocked me
unconscious.*
*I would have knocked her unconscious,* he thought, looking first at
her
hand firmly holding his arm, and then into her eyes, where he saw a
bewildered mixture of terror and sadness. Relaxing the muscles in his
arm as Beverly released her tight grip on his arm, his legs let go,
and he dropped to the floor. It was now his eyes that had become
glossed over, as he stared out at nothing.
	For a long period of time, which felt like an eternity to Beverly,
they remained in an emotional checkmate: She stared at him, he stared
blankly across the room. Both of them were too shocked by his actions
to break the silence. Trying desperately to calm herself, Beverly took
a few deep breaths, *he still needs me.* She looked at him, crumpled
onto the floor, his legs carelessly spread in front of him. He looked
weak, tired and afraid. His emotions were laid open to her in a way
that he never could have done with anyone else. He was her soul mate,
and she was his first and only great love.
"You know it's funny," he began. His voice sounded distant, as if he
were not sitting within the defeated body she saw before her. "I have
imagined this happening in so many ways" he stopped for a moment,
looking directly into her eyes, "you know, the moment when you would
finally tell me that you love me…" Jean-Luc chuckled bitterly, "I
could never have imagined it would happen this way." With that, he
resumed his blank stare.
*No, no! Don't push me away, not now: you're so close!* Kneeling down
on
the floor beside him, she took his hand in both of hers. Though this
action alone could not break his trance, she hoped her words would.
"Jean-Luc," she began, her voice deep, quiet, and inviting, "talk to
me, please." She paused, rubbing his hand within hers, hoping that she
could draw him out of the barrier he seemed to keep between them.
"Jean, I meant it, you know. I have loved you for a very long time,
and I know you love me. Jean-Luc, look at me! Gods, I love you!" She
began to weep softly between words, "I'm right here, kneeling in front
of you…Jean, I'm not afraid any more."
His gaze, though it refused to turn towards her, turned down towards
the ground. *I don't deserve her. She gives me her love, and I try to
knock her to the ground. Oh Beverly, keep trying, please don't give up
on me yet…*
As she began to realize that her words were not strong enough, Beverly
decided it was time to let her body speak for her. Grabbing his chin
roughly, she tilted his head up and kissed him as passionately as she
could between sobs. Moving her kisses up to assault his left ear, she
quickly swung her legs over so that she was straddling him. Finally he
spoke.
 "Beverly," he mumbled in between kisses.
"Yes?" she answered quietly.
"What are you doing?"
She stopped and leaned back to get the full view of his confused, and
lipstick-stained face. Keeping her body in the straddling position,
her posture slumped, relaxed, and she gently rested her palms against
his chest. In a tone that was unmistakably timid, she replied, "Trying
to get you to talk."
Shaking his head, he took her hands in his own and guided her body off
of his own. "No," he said softly, "as much as I would li…Beverly, this
is not what we need to be doing right now."
She looked at him, missing the closeness they had just shared, and
mentally scolding herself for allowing herself to lose focus. Before
her, sat the man she loved more than anything, and he needed her so
much. "Jean-Luc," she said quietly, "just tell me what you want. I
just don't know what to do…" *Is that my voice? Why am I so nervous?
Please Jean, I need you now too…*
He softly drew his hand under her chin and brought her gaze up to meet
his. Her cheeks were flushed and her blue eyes were shimmering with
tears. Finally Picard allowed himself to show his love for her.
Beverly smiled inwardly at the gentle touch. *This is my Jean-Luc.*
"Oh Beverly," he began with a sigh, "I'm so sorry. You just want to
help, I know. I mean, I would never want to hurt—"
She stopped his speech abruptly as he hand reached to cover his mouth.
She looked intensely into his eyes to make sure he understood her
sincerity, " I know, Jean-Luc, I know."
She spotted a look of relief in his eyes as they embraced each other.
They both held the other tightly, never wanting to end. A peace had
been restored, and perhaps, a new level of their relationship had been
reached. Picard tenderly stroked Beverly's hair as he whispered his
love for her in her ear.
"Jean," she whispered
He loved it when she called him that. "Yes, love?" he replied, eyes
shining with such tenderness and happiness.
"You need to go" she asserted, "it's time to go out there and be the
captain."
He paused for a moment, as if thinking. *Did he forget about what is
happening out there?*
"Yes," he finally answered, "it's time."
"When this is all over, you'll be right here next to me all over
again. Besides, I need to finish what I started." She smiled at this
last comment as she wiped some of her remaining lipstick from the side
of his lips.
"Actually," he started, joining in on the joke, "as much as I would
like to be…next to you again, I'd rather it was not…right here. I was
thinking perhaps a bed…or at least a couch would be nice…"
She swatted his arm playfully, muttering something about him being a
"cheeky thing".
With that, he kissed her lovingly on the lips, and got up to leave her
office.
Quickly, she touched his arm lightly to grab his attention. He turned
to her with a full smile on his face. However, after seeing the
obvious look of worry in her eyes, his grin began to fall.
"Just, just promise to be careful…ok?" she spoke barely above a
whisper.
"Beverly, you know there are inherent risks in every mission. I want
to tell you it's all going to be ok…but I just…" he trailed off as a
smile slowly began to pull at the sides of her mouth.
"Oh Jean, I know that." She said, "I just want you to keep in mind,
there's a woman who loves you sitting down here in sickbay. Ok?"
His lips broke out into a full grin, "Oh ma cher, how could I ever
forget." He kissed her again, and paused a few moments: just looking
into her eyes. "I'll be back, I promise."
As he left, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, tracing her
hand down her own neck. *Hmmm, maybe life on a starship isn't so bad
after all.*

Fin.

comments? k_trojnar@hotmail.com

check out my website: www.geocities.com/kaytees_soulfire/index.html


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