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From: gojirob@aol.comendspam (Rob Morris)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Date: 22 Sep 2004 05:14:42 GMT
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com
Subject: NEW TNG(Movie Era) The Really Long Straw, Humor, PG13, 1/1
Message-ID: <20040922011442.18589.00001263@mb-m29.aol.com>
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Title : The Really Long Straw

Author : Rob Morris 

Contact : gojirob@aol.comendspam

Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame 

Series : TNG - Movie Era

Type : Humor

Characters : Basic TNG Plus

Part : 1/1

Rating : PG13

Summary : What was the Enterprise-E really doing during The Dominion War? Vital
----

The Really Long Straw
by Rob Morris


Sela shook her head.

"Picard, the Federation must surrender all bases within one parsec of Gorlanden
Morg."

Picard sipped his Long Island Iced Earl Grey Tea. His tenth that day.

"I think that's Cor."

Sela grabbed a handful of blue tortilla chips, then turned over to finish her
even tan.

"Yeah, whatever."

Picard yelled out to Doctor Crusher.

"Beverly? Sorry about what's-her-face...you know, the immortal woman."

Beverly looked over from her beach clinic for overstressed, overbulked male
bodybuilders.

"You're that round-headed guy, right?"

"She's forgiven me. Wesley? You sure we can't persuade you to rejoin
Starfleet?"

Wes wandered about, de-ageing the ladies who were once hot, and moving forward
the young girls who would be, stopping at about nineteen and a half in most
cases.

"No, sir. I totally disgraced my uniform."

"Then why are you still wearing it?"

"Hello!? Can we say 'mag-net?"

"Isn't the Traveler concerned with you using your abilities that way."

But the Traveler just sat at the nearby Temple Of Saint James Buffett.

"Oh--its all so true."

Worf smashed his head through ten solid blocks of ice, then chatted with his
competitors.

"So he thinks he's Kirk reincarnated, the Bajoran is always insubordinating her
mouth off,  while the gene-guy and the Cardie actually have the nerve to think
that no one's figured it out yet..."

Data walked out and made an announcement.

"If the entrants will assemble in the rather large stadium with the seventeen
jumbo-tron screens, I will begin the vetting process for the Videogame Womens
Nude Volleyball Tournament. It should be noted that we will not be wimping out
as Xbox did."

Geordi walked up to the Horgon concession stand. He pointed at one that stood
twenty feet tall, and weighed well over a ton.

"Fifty of those."

Someone saw Riker topping Deanna's Damnation-By-Chocolate Ice Cream with
butterscotch pudding.

"Commander? Isn't that just a bit much for someone who wants to keep the
Counselor's figure?"

Riker grinned evilly.

"She'll work it off. All of it."

Deanna sat with a troubled Admiral while staring at her blessedly empty Mailbox
files, wholly free of reminders of her age and admonitions to attend obscure
family functions.

"Sir, if the Federation wants to delay retaking Betazed for another year or
two, I think the Dominion will respect our patience."

Finally, Picard bravely refused yet another offer of relief while getting his
thrice daily back-walking massage.

"No, sir. We will stand here for this entire war, if need be..."

He looked up at the clear skies and felt the ocean's breeze.

"...we will all die before surrendering Risa."



--------------------------------------------

"Your would-be attackers don't like you. Your would-be rescuers don't like you.
Harry, *most* people don't like you." - Peter Kirk to Harry Mudd, 'Lawful
Warrant' 




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