Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!atl-c03.usenetserver.com!news.usenetserver.com!wns13feed!worldnet.att.net!216.196.98.144!border2.nntp.dca.giganews.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!ngpeer.news.aol.com!audrey-m2.news.aol.com!not-for-mail Lines: 668 X-Admin: news@aol.com From: gojirob@aol.comendspam (Rob Morris) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Date: 11 Dec 2004 03:14:48 GMT Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com Subject: REP TNG Holiday Stories, Various, G-PG, 1/1 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=utf-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Message-ID: <20041210221448.00480.00001540@mb-m17.aol.com> Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative:161519 X-Received-Date: Fri, 10 Dec 2004 19:15:01 PST (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title : A Feast I Don't Like In The Least Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogojirob@aol.comendspam (Take the first go off, then the obvious) Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : TNG AU : No Type : Xmas Story Characters : Picard, non-UFP Ambassador Relationships : N/A Time-Setting : TNG S3 Follows ep : N/A Part : 1/1 Rating : G Summary : When Picard deals with an arrogant diplomat, he notably does not ---- A Feast I Don't Like in the Least by Rob Morris DECEMBER 24TH, 2366 The Tekri Ambassador received the last report from his aides. He smiled at Captain Picard, as they sat in his ready room. He was a tall, well-built man, and he knew this to a degree that tested, but never truly broke, the captain's already-fabled resolve. "Tell me, Picard--where is that mewling child?" Picard refused to react. "Ensign Crusher was, as you requested, removed from both Bridge Duty and his regular quarters. He is currently keeping entirely to a very large room that contains not a single one of his possessions. You shan't see him about while you're here, Mister Ambassador." The Ambassador read off his list of demands he had made. Demands that one and all, Picard had acceded to as per his orders, the better to fully accommodate a possible Federation applicant. "The children's drawings were all removed. The images of the red-suited saint were taken down as well. The oddly strung lights and popped corn are gone. The milky, oversweet beverage is nowhere in sight or smell. Those decorated trees are simply gone. Religious imagery kept to quarters, well out of public view. Very good, Picard." The Tekri kept on smiling. Picard nodded. "All as you demanded, Mister Ambassador. One would never know that it was Christmas on the Enterprise, to look around here." The Ambassador laughed. "Weakness." Picard shook his head in confusion. "Weakness in what, Mister Ambassador?" He gestured dismissively at the captain. "Weakness of your people and culture, Picard. You gave in with no fight. It speaks poorly of you." "Sir, we did what was asked of us. I fail to see how that indicates weakness." The Ambassador shrugged. "Simple. You gave up Christmas. I have observed that it is a great boon to those who believe in it. To the secularized, it is happy indulgence. To the strict religious inerrancy advocate, it is a polluted pagan festival meant to mislead the faithful. To the nihlist, it provides welcomed proof to their view that all others are deluded, greedy fools. To those of other beliefs, it is something that must not be allowed to subsume what they hold dear. This holiday, this Christmas, the beliefs that surround it, and the ramifications of those beliefs in effect are your culture in microcosm, Picard. Yet you gave it all up, no questions asked." Picard stood up behind his desk, calm and collected. "Mister Ambassador, you are wrong. You see, from Herod to the Caesars to the Puritans to the reductionists, someone somewhere is always removing the things from the holiday. Well, the things don't matter. The people, and what we keep in our hearts can not be taken down, and I defy you to try. Christmas and all its attendant surroundings are stronger than your temporary ability to make them invisible. We readily surrender our egg nog, our trees, our debates about commercialism, secularism, and the possible forcing of one belief over others not because our culture is so weak. It is because that culture, as glimpsed by you through a prism of red, green, silver and gold has no great need of baubles, lights, shiny trinkets and long receipt lists. They are but one pattern of choice we make, as we quite gratefully celebrate charity, brotherhood and peace as ideals and as goals." The Ambassador shook his head. "Nonsense. The appearance of the decorations and gifts tell your people that this holiday and all its attendant challenges are about to begin. Without those publicly displayed religious objects, your atheists and cynics can't start to object. If there are no images of Saint Nicholas, your purists and fundamentalists can't complain of secularism. If there is no bustle of purchasing, your merchants can't balance their financial foolishness the rest of the year. If there are no presents, your children will sulk, and then turn on you all like rabid dogs. And for those handful who honestly wish to celebrate and keep the holiday's higher ideals amid a sea of rampant nihilism and then rampant exhortations to divisive hypocrisy? Well, they will lose that one vital lifeline to what little joy this life offers. You and your people killed Christmas, Picard, and you did it merely because we insisted you do it. We will take this into consideration as we seek more worthy allies." Picard looked one last time at the Tekri Ambassador. "I feel so very, very sorry for you. Transporter Room--beam the Ambassador for the Tekri directly back to his lonely world, where random tests that reveal nothing ride brutally over the mystery that is faith." After the stunned man disappeared, Picard left his ready room, confident that Starfleet would find that he had done all he could to facilitate relations with this difficult species. "And now--the seal is broken." Down he went, to the large 'quarters' in which he had 'isolated' Wesley Crusher. Picard noted that indeed, no trace of Wes's many and various possessions were in evidence. Between the many trees, gifts, decorations, and sealed containers of every imaginable type of edible, there was simply no room for them. "You stood guard well, Mister Crusher. Our treasures were kept safe during the boarding. Are we ready to resume?" Crusher had checked his figures a thousand times. No way was he screwing this one up. Those kids were scary when roused. And the adults were even worse. "Just hit the switch, Captain." Picard did, and around the ship, crewmembers and civilians watched in abject wonder as the drawings of children appeared again on walls across the ship. Trees laden with decorations both ancient and exotic appeared back in the precise spots they vanished from. Gifts went back to their sacred hiding spots, and tables with treats galore set themselves up in an instant. Picard smiled. "Well. It seems that the spirits have done it all in one night." Crusher checked on the various transport points. It had gone as planned. "Just don't let anyone know that I had any larger role in all this than anyone else, sir." "Oh? Whyever not?" Wes opened a spare container of non-syntheholic egg nog, and poured them each a drink. "Let's just say that I know certain people who couldn't handle a report with a title like 'Wesley Saves Christmas'. Joyeux Noel, Captain." Picard raised his glass. "So To Us All, Ensign. So To Us All." ---- Title : I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogojirob@aol.comendspam (Take the first go off, then the obvious) Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : TNG AU : No Type : Songfic/Parody Characters : TNG Standard, and some surprises Relationships : N/A Time-Setting : N/A Follows ep : N/A Part : 1/1 Rating : G Summary : When the crew gets silly, Picard gets going, but it can't save ---- I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing by Rob Morris ( On the Bridge of the D, Deanna rises for no reason ) Troi : I'd Like To Buy The World A Home; And Furnish It With Love; ( Bev joins in ) Bev : With Honey Bees And Apple Trees; ( Worf nods head, reluctantly ) Worf : And..Snow White Turtle Doves. Picard : That's enough, now. Wes : I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing ; In Perfect Harmony Picard : Oh, I'LL teach you how to sing! Geordi : I'd Like To Buy The World A Coke; And Keep It Company; Riker : Its The Song I Sing; Picard : Really, Crewman Riker? All : ( Except JLP ) What The World Wants Today; P : World? Which world? All : And What The World Wants Today; Is The Real Thing. ( As they bob, weave, and continue singing Picard runs off The Bridge ) P : Holodeck 4! ( Holo 4 ) P : Computer--access greatest known battle of Captain James Kirk--begin simulation! ( We see TOS Crew; Enterprise is facing Ghidorah in space ) Kirk : All stop! Picard : All stop? But what about King.... Spock : Live... Uhura : From The Enterprise... Picard : Oh, No...Not again! Sulu : Its The Ancient Destroyer Holiday Special! Chekov : Featuring Peter Kirk and The Revelations Childrens Choir! PK : Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! While The Merry Bells Keep Ringing...Happy Holidays...To You! Oh, Its The Holiday Season; All : ( Except JLP ) The Holiday Season.. Picard : Why Me? Who is causing this? ( By an artist's board, we see a cackling Q) Q : Gee, Ain't I A Stinker? ( For good measure, Chevy Chase comes in dressed as Ghidorah and devours Q ) Chevy : Land Shark. --- Title : He's Not Santa Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogojirob@aol.comendspam (Take the first go off, then the obvious) Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : TNG AU : The Post-Generations Series, Starting Over Type : Xmas Santa Story Characters : Kirk, Riker, Andia Kirk, TNG others Relationships : N/A Time-Setting : About three weeks after Kirk's return from Veridian Three Follows ep : Generations with alt-ending Part : 1/1 Rating : G Summary : They're just tryin' to help Ole' Santa out...but they realllly stink ---- He's Not Santa by Rob Morris DECEMBER 24TH, 2371 Andia waited as midnight approached. Her adoptive parents, Professor Peter Kirk and Admiral Saavik, knew better than to try and keep her in bed. "I'm going to see him!" If only, she thought, Uncle Jim could be there with her. But since coming back from Veridian earlier that month, he'd been staying with people like Aunt Nyta. She saw a light by the fireplace. "He's here!" A jolly fat man in a red suit and a beard with striking blue eyes appeared, looking around. "Ho-ho-ho! Meeeerry Christmas! This looks like the home of good little boys and girls!" Another light appeared by the fireplace. Another jolly fat man with a beard and a red suit appeared. "Merry Christmas! I came right down Santa Claus Lane just to be here!" The first Santa looked confused. "Ho-ho-who are you?" Now the second Santa looked confused. "I'm errr--Santa--Number One? Captain Santa, is that you?" Andia saw the two huddle, but did not hear their words. "Will? I said I'd be doing this." "Sorry, Jim. But didn't you say you had a bad back?" "THAT WAS---that was to throw Andia off. Now what do we do?" "Relax, sir. We're both Santa. We just had a transporter accident that split---ohhh, we're dead." "No, we're not. I'll unmask. You'll thank me for helping out you—the real Santa." "No, Jim. You're the Captain. I'll unmask." "Will, this isn't a landing party. If we play this my way, we can salvage this before its gets any---" Another light appeared. "Jim? It just got any." "Ho! I have come to reward those children who have kept to discipline and hard work! I know well the honorable from the dishonorable!" This Santa wore an ornate suit of battle armor. His beard was white, a contrast with his dark skin. Jim walked up, and looked him over. Especially his unhidden head ridges. "Koloth did a better job at the 2293 Embassy Party, and he wasn't raised on Earth!" Finally, a frustrated Andia came out of hiding. "Uncle Jim, will you and these guys stop playing around? You'll scare off the real Santa Claus!" Out the front door the three Nicks went. All were silent until Worf spoke and pointed. "By the fireplace inside! Another light." Riker shook his head. "Can it be?" Kirk smiled. "Gentlemen. Why Not? We've all faced greater wonders." The door opened again, and a figure was angrily pushed out by Andia. This Santa had the standard suit and beard, but no padding, pale skin and yellow eyes. He looked at his fellow Kringles. "In the future, it would seem that coordination of such an effort would be in order, the better to attain a truly Merry Christmas." --- Title : I'll Be Home For Christmas Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogojirob@aol.comendspam (Take the first go off, then the obvious) Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : TNG AU : Starting Over Type : A fantasy Christmas Characters : P, C, Wes Relationships : P/C Time-Setting : Nebuous, Post-Generations Follows ep : Generations (AU) Part : 1/1 Rating : G Summary : Love knows no season, and no boundaries, and will tolerate no ---- I'll Be Home for Christmas by Rob Morris "Into the staid and uber-Dickensian, vaguely Victorian Christmas scene she comes, her red hair more appetizing than any of these overdone main dishes. In her eyes I see a sparkle that plainly makes me forget the fire-hazard Tree and absurd Carousel. I have let her get away from me repeatedly. I'll not make such an insipid error in judgement again." "As this night speaks of the Promise Of Salvation, so is to me the promise that her quick peck on the cheek makes. But like that salvation, it is a promise that I must be worthy of, and can easily lose amid the dread sameness and occasional madness of those times when The Promise is not so apparent. Hell, then, has been my life without her." "As she sits and talks with me, this commercialist concept of what a Christmas should be begins to fade. The sound of her voice makes the mundane seem the cosmic. For the downy creature that was supposed to have been my wife, I sadly feel nothing. Her cherubic children are replaced by my overanxious nephew and the formerly overanxious son of my walking heart. There is another woman, an ageless one, downy like the other. Since she is ageless, I make of her a statue. Let her chat up Perseus. My woman is as imperfect as her boy, and for that do I love them both very, very well." "None of the others seem to know how to act around me, so I do not abide their presence. Oddly, I see Will chatting amiably in the next house with a sandy-brown haired man whose name I should but do not know. The Trois are there. Lxwana seems contented, which confirms for me the sheer surreality of this scene. My confessor has a look of safety on her face, the safety she confided she lost when Ian died. Is it the man I see who has provided such? I want to thank him-- but I have the oddest feeling that he took something wholly precious from me. Or more precisely, that he took something back." "Now, the one I love best must go, and I feel as though cold metal is clamping down upon my heart and my soul. But these bonds shall not keep me from her. I shall return, have no question of that." "Beverly, you can count on me." -------------------------------------------------- Christmas, 2372, Borg Space His regeneration cycle all done, Locutus Of Borg rose to begin his duties on a day that was just like any other. A fleeting thought echoed across his brain as he emerged. The thought was of course, irrelevant to The Borg. "If Only In My Dreams." -- Title : The Stars Are Brightly Shining Author : Rob Morris Contact : gogojirob@aol.comendspam (Take the first go off, then the obvious) Archive : www.southroad.com/brightfame Series : TNG AU : Starting Over Type : Xmas Legend story Characters : Kirk, Starndard 'Starting Over' TNG crew Relationships : R/T, Pierce/Houlihan Time-Setting : One year after 'Generations' Follows ep : See above Part : 1/1 Rating : G Summary : The heart of a child, or an android learning emotions. Both seek ---- The Stars Are Brightly Shining by Rob Morris DECEMBER 25TH, 2372 This region of space was known to many, though it really had no name. The Vulcans who observed Earth before first contact scanned it, intrigued by the prevalence of a certain Terran religious legend. Believers had scanned it, when Humans first moved out into space. So it was as well for disbelievers. An Andorian sect that sought proof of any and all religious legends did an impossibly thorough scan. No one found a thing, and this stunned even the most hard-core of atheists, for something was always found, and misinterpreted, to their minds. To find nothing almost seemed more unnerving than finding proof positive. But within the galactic time-frame involved, this area of space had seen no supernovae, no large comets, no planetary collisions--nada. Despite its position relative to Earth, no surge of light came from the area of space that would have been in the correct light-year trajectory to explain the phenomenon known as The Star Of Bethlehem. Yet still they searched. All sects of Christians. Jewish scholars, seeking possible hints of Immanuel's true coming. Muslim scholars, seeking to know the last prophet to walk the Earth before Mohammed's birth. Others joined in, for reasons, high, low--and intellectual. Now, a life forged of man was among them. ----------------------------------------------- Jim stared at the drinks in Hawkeye's hands. "Why do you even bother? With your metabolism--you can't possibly get drunk." Doctor Pierce shrugged. "What can I say, Captain? I like the taste. I like the taste of this one. I like the taste of that one...and that one...." While one of his CMO's used his Eugenics-enhanced body to not drink himself into a stupor, Jim saw the other driving herself crazy on the Christmas tree trimmings. "Margaret--the tree looks fine. Let it go." Doctor Houlihan turned and glared. "SEZ YOU---sir. Jim, maybe you can't see how crooked this thing is, and how poorly the decorations are distributed, and how the lights are barely noticeable--but I can! This tree is going to be done correctly--end of story. This isn't Korea, 1950. This is the time when technology has triumphed--and a lousy Christmas tree can be done right!" The Counselor and The XO were having no better luck. "Will, your little sister is a spoiled brat! I spent days picking out her gift." "Don't go picking on Donna. She's not even seven, yet. Now, your mother is impossible to buy for. She calls up, in a huff, asks me 'what was I thinking', and disconnects!" Jim covered his ears. "Would someone please remember the true meaning of this celebration?" Data walked in. "Captain. Everyone. I believe that I have made an intriguing discovery." Since it beat drinking, kvetching, and arguing, everyone present sat down. The android began. "I believe that I have discovered the origins of the astral phenomenon known as the Star Of Bethlehem." "C'mon, Data...." "Even the Padre said it was apocryphal..." "Data, while I'm glad you're exploring this aspect of yourself..." "Data, people have been searching far and wide for cent..." Jim silenced them by raising an open hand. "You go right ahead, Data." "Thank You, Captain Kirk. Faster-than light travel involves the use of tachyons, as we all know. Also known is how they decay, actually traveling backwards in time as they go. Therefore, I have calculated the path of all tachyons used in FTL travel since this region became a traffic lane for warp-driven ships. Observe." The display showed the tachyons all flowing backward, and yet still towards Earth. Their varying rates of decay were factored in, as was their innate attraction to one another. Data pointed at a convergence. "The Year Four Before Common Era would seem to be a major locus of this activity. If anything were to affect this convergence in almost any way, it would cause a large and visible effect, seen best in certain portions of the Earth, at this time. In effect, the very individuals that have searched for the *star* may in fact have brought it into existence. I have not yet chosen how to classify this possibility." A flabergasted Hawkeye Pierce felt all and none of his 400 years simultaneously. "Father Mulcahy would have called it faith, Data." Margaret Houlihan had tears in her eyes as she hugged and kissed the android. "Wanna help me trim the tree, Commander?" "Indeed, Doctor. It would be a welcome respite from my previous endeavors." As they did just that, Deanna shook her head. "There are times I swear that the chip hasn't changed him at all. Then he does something like this." Riker was still amazed at the simple possibility the display before him raised. "Jean-Luc said of Data 'Believe in that man, Number One. He will yet continue to amaze us all.' And he always manages to do just that." Jim felt an old twinge, watching a dear friend discovering the other half of his existence. He looked at Pierce. "What do you make of this, Doctor?" Pierce shrugged. "I think, that, of all the Data Soongs in the universe...he's the Charlie Browniest." NewMessage: