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To: "ASCEM-S" <ASCEM-S@yahoogroups.com>
From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2004 19:19:10 -0500
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW TOS: Act of Desperation (TOS; Sa/Ch 1/2)
Reply-To: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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I wrote this little think when I was bored on Vacation. More when Joe went
to the gaming rooms I am not a big gambler so I wrote. 



Bert



Title: Act of Desperation

Author: Bert (AKA T'Ryl) 
E-mail: robertaclark@buckeye-express.com
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sa/Ch

Summary: Christine finds out too late that a certain Vulcan cared more then
Setting: The time between ST-III TSFS & ST-IV TVH. New Earth Emergency Chief
Commander Christine Chapel is visited by Ambassador Sarek with a sealed hand
written letter from his deceased son Spock.  

Disclaimer: Trek never has nor ever will belong to me. They are the property
of Paramount/Viacom.





Newly ordained Commander Christine Chapel stared at the vidscreen in her
private office. Out of all those she left behind Spock shouldn't have been
the first to die. He was Vulcan after all, even with his unseen human
frailties.  It was so like him, though, to do what he must to save lives of
others. Yet no tears could be shed for the love that never was. Those tears
had been used up years ago.



Grief for her must be short lived though she had responsibilities. A new
agenda in life nothing would detour. Remaining free helped her climb the
ladder to where she stood today. This rung though was full of someone else's
mess. She looked at the stack of paper work she had in front of her. Rather
than reaching for one, she reached for the bottle of Saurian Brandy. Instead
of pouring it into a glass, she took a mouthful of the fiery liquid.



The sound of the vibrating bottle resonated as she dropped it back onto the
desk. Her hand reached for the first report it came to. With a sigh she
scanned a report that had been grandfathered into her administration. A new
mutated form of a past deadly disease threatened Earth. She looked at the
title of the report, remembering what she had learned about it: AIDS the
Silent Killer. By the time they found a treatment, that worked, it wiped out
over a forth of the world's population. Now she was faced with a mutated
form that was unresponsive to all know medical treatments. As much as
current technology understood about micro-genetics, they still could not
stop this deadly problem. At least medical technology was at a point it
could be caught early. So far out of a population of more then 50 billion,
only 1000 had contracted the deadly disease. Still that was too many lives
to be lost, if it could be prevented.



Again her eyes drifted to the vidpic of Spock. How could they expect her to
work? She couldn't even think. The only thoughts she had were light years
away floating in space. They had never had any form of relationship other
then a few forced issues both regretted. "Damn," she said to the empty room.
At the same time realizing, a small part of her still loved Spock. Now there
was a feeling of what could have been and a regret of what never was. It was
the feelings for him that allowed her to grow past the feelings she harbored
for Roger. At least Roger had proclaimed to return her love.



Again she reached for the Saurian Brandy, taking a long gulp. Tonight she
needed something to calm her nerves. She really wanted to concentrate on
nothing but her work. She had far too much to do and not much time to do it
in.  Less than eighteen hours from now she had a meeting with a group of
scientist to see what could be done about the problem. 



A buzz at her office door, in mid-drink, caused some of the beverage to
trickle into the trachea. Her voice sputtered as she called out for the
person to just go away. She was in no mood to face anyone. It was bad enough
she was here so late, trying to clean up the mess she inherited. She was in
no mood for company.



Instead the door opened. Without looking up, Christine asked in a demanding
tone, "What the hell?" She wasn't much for cursing but she was tired,
depressed, and rather drunk. 



"Commander Chapel, may I first offer my congratulations." A tall hooded
figure stated. 



"Sp.Spock?" She asked confused. Surely, this was a figure of her intoxicated
imagination. Spock was dead but his voice spoke to her.



Slowly the hood dropped from the head of the stranger, revealing the face of
an aged Ambassador Sarek. "I can assure you I am not Spock."



Christine wasn't quite sure how to react, stand and salute or just remain as
she was. She chose to stand placing her hands carefully behind her back.
Posing herself the same manner she saw Spock do during the few times Sarek
visited the Enterprise. "How can I help you Ambassador?"



Sarek looked from her to the bottle she knocked over as she rose from her
seat. The distinct smell of Saurian Brady made its way to his nostrils. He
knew from personal experience the thick beverage hit hard and fast.
"Perhaps, it is I who should ask if you need assistance." 



Her eyes followed his to the over turned bottle. She hadn't realized it fell
over.  "Ambassador, sir?" She wasn't sure exactly why he was here, which
left her confused. As far as she knew Spock never talked about her to
anyone. After all what the hell was there to talk about, she was never
anything to him. 



He moved into the room closer to her. He stopped a moment by the image of
his son on her vidscreen. Perhaps now this mystery would make some sense. "I
have come on behalf of my son."



She looked at him. He was close enough now to smell the spicy aroma of the
Vulcan body.  NO, she was not getting lost again in that scent that very
scent is part of what attracted her so to Spock. This was a married man. He
was married to a woman she respected greatly. Christine stumbled for her
words, "I.see.then. please have a seat," preferably, as far away as
possible.



Sarek nodded and took the chair closest to her. "When Spock returned to
Vulcan, to undergo the Kolinar discipline, he left this in his room." He
handed her a small hand written sealed letter with her name on it. A letter
found when Amanda was going through his belongings, during her morning
process. "My wife, Amanda, found this among Spock's belongings."



Christine looked at the letter as though it could burn her finger at the
very touch. Her curiosity won out in the end though. She reached for and
took the small letter. Carefully, she opened the golden seal, unfolded it,
and began to read. 'Christine,' not Nurse or Doctor Chapel, 'Were I human, I
would have found the right words to express my thoughts of you. Instead I
must borrow from another.' A small poem rested below, placed there in
Spock's manuscript. 



'A Heart Of Stone 

Author: Unknown 



Once I had a heart of stone

For it had surely lost its home

It could not love or wanted too

But in my life, then came you. 



The stones began to fall away

As happiness began to fill my day

A feeling so sweet and special too

Could this be love, I pray it's true.



My heart now sings a song of love

For I know that it was sent from above

My heart is warm, there is no cold

Hard no more, but with wings of gold.



It soars above the sky so high

Sometimes I think of why and cry

My heart now sings a loving song

For the part of me I thought was gone.'



Christine looked up, pure confusion shown in her eyes. He never loved her?
Why this? Why now? Tears broke free of the corners of her eyes and trickled
down her face. Her hand loosened the grip on the letter and it drifted
softly onto the desk, floating on the pool of liquid still on her desk. 



Sarek glanced at the distorting words on the page. Words scripted by his
son's hand. Right now, all had been lost. His son was dead, never to return
to this world. All that could possibly remain was the chance his katra was
in another. Desperation had brought him to Earth, both Amanda's and his.
Their son was possibility forever lost. Battling his own grief he looked up
to see the tears stream from Christine's eyes. "I have caused you pain. I
ask forgiveness, it was not my intention. I often find logic fails one in
the mist of grief."



Christine stared at him through thick brown lashes. A slight smile sprung
upon her face.  "No, Sarek, it is not your fault." She took a deep breath,
she couldn't believe she was about to tell Sarek this. "I loved him, but he
never openly returned that love."  She looked at the now illegible letter.
"Or I thought he didn't."



"Vulcans are taught not to show emotions. It does not mean we do not feel
them in our own fashion." He conveyed, not sure if his words would offer
help or pain. "Spock felt the need to surpass even the levels of
unemotionalism I, myself, have failed in."



Christine looked at Sarek; it was most odd for a Vulcan to admit he had
emotions. Surely, he must though, how else could he keep a human wife for so
long? "Then what was it? What was it about me that caused Spock to turn on
his heals?" Her legs began to flutter under her as she realized the added
stress combined with the lack of sleep and intoxication was beginning to
have an effect on her. With an almost thud she dropped into the chair; all
her energy now drained. "I think this is where I need to end this
conversation." All she could think of now was getting home to sleep. 



Sarek took note of the paleness that came over her face. He knew it unwise
to leave her alone in such a condition. Humans were relatively frail when it
came to external impacts on the body. "Perhaps, logic would better suggest I
remove you to your personal residence." It was less then a command, but more
then what could be looked upon as a plea. Something told him, this woman
held some answers to Spock's life. Information he was curious to ascertain. 



"Yes, maybe I should go home. I don't need the help though." She stood and
moved a few feet and dropped to her knees in a state of weakness. 



Sarek moved to her quickly, lifting her from the ground, ignoring the mental
barrage her mind threw at him. "I reiterate it would be wise to take you
home."



This time she had no argument. She was tired and now she was sure she was
beginning to feel slightly feverish. "Ok Ambassador, I'll allow you to take
me home." She pulled away from Sarek in attempts to walk on her own.
Regrettably, her attempts failed and she faltered once again. "Oh this isn't
going to work," she grumbled. She really didn't want Sarek to assist her
through the building, even if the only ones there were guards.



After Sarek again took hold of the Commander he felt unusual warmth at the
area his skin touched hers. The same form of warmth Amanda use to bring upon
him during her ovulation cycle. Instinct told him to retract his hand before
to much of the progesterone affected him; it was a little known fact the
higher levels of progesterone the ovulating human pumped into her system had
a sexual impact on Vulcans.  However, logic told him if he did so, the
Commander would not make it to her home safely. It was clear she was
intoxicated and in a state of mental shock. With the decision to aid her, he
could only hope, she would not have the same sexual effect upon him as did
his wife. During the first years of their marriage, when her levels came to
their highest, he was influenced quite often; there were times he had to
literally have no physical contact with her what-so-ever. 





TBC



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