Path: newsspool1.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!atl-c03.usenetserver.com!news.usenetserver.com!wns13feed!worldnet.att.net!204.71.34.3!newsfeed.cwix.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!newsread.com!newsstand.newsread.com!POSTED.monger.newsread.com!not-for-mail Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Sender: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: From: "temara.rm" MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEML@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEML-owner@yahoogroups.com Subject: NEW: The Healer Triad VOY C/f, C/P/f NC-17 11/14 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Lines: 1071 Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2004 01:55:26 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.198.142.218 X-Complaints-To: Abuse Role , We Care X-Trace: monger.newsread.com 1103594126 209.198.142.218 (Mon, 20 Dec 2004 20:55:26 EST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 20:55:26 EST Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:86091 X-Received-Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004 17:55:47 PST (newsspool1.news.atl.earthlink.net) ************ Part Eleven ************ See Part One for disclaimer "Only one more detail, Tom," Tamara said excitedly. Her face was=20 glowing as she looked over the holo-program that she had created with=20 Tom's help and guidance. It was a place from her childhood in the=20 mountains of West Virginia overlooking a valley nearly sixty miles=20 long and roughly twenty miles wide. "What's that?" Tom grinned at her excitement, not only for being=20 close to finishing the program, but doing something outside of=20 therapy with the woman that kept him from death or worse. "Fire flies, grasshoppers, owls and a whippoorwill by the pond," she=20 blushed under his stare. "Maybe a garter snake or two that I could=20 slip under the bed clothes." With a chuckle. "You have a twisted mind and an evil sounding chuckle," he laughed=20 with his blue eyes twinkling. "I know." They laughed together. =09 Tom had come a long way towards healing these last few months with=20 the help of the Healer and his friends. With Tamara's help, he took=20 control of his life. Dealing with all the issues in his life had=20 given him a new confidence in himself and he finally started to like=20 himself. He was back at the conn flying, doing shifts in Sickbay,=20 playing uncle to the Chakotay kids and recently he started playing=20 pool at Sandrine's and going to the resort with friends and that=20 included Chakotay. It wasn't too bad to get out of bed these days since he was also=20 getting to fulfill one of his dreams. That one dream was to be near=20 Chakotay and have a small part in his life. Thanks to Tom and his=20 love for vids, movie night became a big favorite in the Chakotay=20 household with family and friends sprawled all over the place. Tamara played hostess, providing lots of popcorn, soda and candy=20 while Chakotay and Tom would watch the twins; though in her book,=20 that was only asking the bigger kids to watch the smaller ones. Most=20 of the time it would turn into a sleepover for their guests, for=20 after watching movies over half the night, most fell asleep where=20 they were, and Chakotay and Tamara never had the heart to wake them,=20 especially Tom; who Chakotay quietly would take to the couch and tuck=20 him in without a second thought. Even Captain Janeway showed up once=20 in awhile for movie night thought she always showed good sense to=20 leave before it got too late. Yep, movie night was a hit and became a=20 fast tradition in the Chakotay household giving a whole new option=20 for the crew on Friday nights, and it made Tom happy to be in their=20 life even for a little bit. Tom and Harry were spending a great deal of time together even though=20 Harry had started to date Seven of Nine, for he never wanted to=20 overstay his welcome in Chakotay's families lives, no matter how much=20 they said he was welcome to be there. Being there was too important=20 to him and he would do nothing to jeopardize it. He did feel a little=20 bad taking Harry away from Seven for their relationship was getting=20 pretty serious and the crew was looking forward to another wedding in=20 the near future. ************ Chakotay gave a deep sigh as tapped his com badge. "Computer,=20 location of Healer Tamara." "Healer Tamara is in holodeck 2." The computer voice answered. This was the third time this week he had awaken and found her gone.=20 Always to the Holodeck she went to try and wear herself out so she=20 could sleep; obviously something was bothering her and she wasn't=20 talking about it. Even her work was beginning to suffer and her=20 temper was flaring up in irritability. With great concern he got up=20 and got dressed and set off to find his wife.=20 Wondering if he should leave her alone or not, he wander down to=20 Holodeck 2 on Deck Four and noticed Tom Paris standing outside the=20 doors to the holodeck. He was leaning against the corridor wall with=20 his arms crossed and a grin on his face=85at 0200 AM in the morning? "In the dog house, uh, Chakotay?" Tom stated as the Commander stopped=20 beside him. "None of your business, Paris. Why are you here anyway?" He snapped=20 as he looked at the panel to see what program Tamara was=20 running. "Healer 2A Glass Shop. What kind of program is that?" "Tamara likes to throw things when she gets mad." Tom replied not=20 bothered at all by Chakotay's waspishness, or the fact he wasn't sure=20 why he was here, he just was. "How would you know?" His face drew up into scowl. "I helped her design it. We've done several programs together over=20 the last few months. Tam's got lots of great ideas and together we=20 make pretty mean programs," he smiled teasingly at the older man. "Did you know the safeties are off? There's also a privacy lock on=20 it." He growled, ignoring the pilot who had become an extension of=20 his family over the last few months. This was between Tamara and=20 himself, not Tom, and it was time they worked it out. "I wouldn't interrupt her, Chakotay. Not until she cools off or=20 changes the program. I know, I walked in once and she doesn't pay=20 attention to where she's throwing that stuff." Tom advised. Of course, Chakotay thought he knew better and used his override=20 command codes to open the holodeck doors. Sounds of breaking glass=20 rang in his ears as he entered a store full of vases and drinking=20 glasses. There was also the sound of Tamara talking very loud to=20 herself and the walls around her. "Always Miss Goody Two Shoes, never the fucking bitch. When do I get=20 to be selfish and greedy?" Tamara picked up a heavy French cut vase=20 and hurled it against the far wall of the store. "When do I get to=20 pull the covers over my head and pretend the world went away?" Another glass shattered as her words continued, "Same with the big=20 man. Work, work, and work. How about some fucking flowers or a lousy=20 box of chocolates? Or Hey, baby, I got off early tonight, how about a=20 walk on the beach under the moonlight? Why can't I come first for a=20 change?" "How about Voyager not expecting so much from me? I never wanted to=20 be a damn doctor, but I agreed to it for the sake of the crew, but do=20 I really want play doctor? Not much! I'm a fucking secretary! I love=20 doing paperwork not attending cuts and bruises. I'm supposes to be an=20 Executive Administrative Assistant where I can work from the=20 background in the shadows back home=85well fuck I miss that!" Another=20 glass hit the wall and a smile lit her face as she watched the crash=20 with satisfaction.=20 "Watch the mouth, Tamara. It's always gotten you into trouble in the=20 past." She chided herself. "That's not how a mother of three should=20 act=85Ahhhh Little Mother, be damn, I want to rest. But no, I got my=20 duties and I'll get all the rest I want when I dead, right? Well Fuck=20 duty for two minutes!" The venom in her voice stunned Chakotay as he stood there not even=20 noticing Tom standing behind him. The far wall of the store had piles=20 of broken glass at the base from his wife's current fit.=20 Tamara was breathing hard from her exertions while reaching for a=20 tray of drinking glasses. Sweat matted her hair and she rubbed a hand=20 over her tear-stained face knocking her safety glasses astray. "Away=20 missions? Why, yes dear, I understand or no fucking problem, ma'am,=20 anything for the crew. I'm always happy to help, no matter what." She=20 said with hurt and regret as one glass after another hit the wall=20 with loud shattering crashes while Tamara's voice drop to a low=20 mutter. "I wish I was home," she cried. One last crash as a heavy glass-serving tray hit the wall, but Tamara=20 never noticed the two men behind her as she tossed the safety glasses=20 to the floor. Tamara had really worked up a sweat and her hair was=20 plastered to her head, "Computer, change program to Healer West=20 Virginia." Everything was silent as they found themselves at the edge of the=20 tree line in a deep valley high in the Appalachian Mountains. The men=20 could see the Healer heading for the pond near a farmhouse that dated=20 around the beginning of the twentieth century. A tall black man met her at the edge of the pond and gave her a big=20 hug. Tom slapped a hand on Chakotay's shoulder when the big man was=20 ready to charge in full of jealousy and anger. They started talking=20 softly and he escorted her to a bench at the edge of the pond.=20 Sitting together on the bench, they watched the sunset and continued=20 talking softly. "Chakotay, I think we should leave. If she finds us here, she'll be=20 upset." Tom whispered hoping to get the big man out of there. "You=20 have no reason to be angry at Tamara for trying to work out her=20 frustrations, especially with a hologram. It'll be okay, Cha, just=20 give her some time, Okay?"=20=20 The shoulder under his hand relaxed slightly as Chakotay swung around=20 to him. He couldn't but help notice how the light made Chakotay's=20 dark eyes sparkle and his skin shine, especially the little bit of=20 moisture on the full lips that suddenly seemed to be taunting him=20 with their presence.=20 Tom was right, Tam had to work this out for herself, and he realized=20 he was pushing in where he didn't belong=85and with that thought a=20 tingle came over him, as if his thought had meant something, but he=20 shook it off. Breathing hard and keeping a lid on his temper, he=20 suddenly noticed Tom's lips were slightly parted and he was licking=20 those soft pink lips nervously. Then he realized how the red and gold=20 sunset made Tom look beautiful with the light framing his golden=20 looks, presenting an angle to a weary mortal; He forgot about=20 everything but the beautiful man before him that he didn't notice=20 that their surroundings had changed from a beautiful forest, but to=20 the Sickbay on Voyager.=20 Tom found himself looking into a pair of beautiful ebony eyes and=20 smiled as his heart lurched, for he knew this was where his heart=20 lie. Reaching over, he stroked Chakotay's cheek with the back of his=20 hand with affection, recalling how soft his skin was to the=20 touch. "So lovely," Tom murmured as he pulled Chakotay against him=20 and gave in to his urge to kiss those full sensual lips, recalling=20 how sweet they were. Melting against the slim body, Chakotay wrapped himself around the=20 younger man and returned the kiss hard and demanding more from him,=20 knowing the young man would give it to him freely. Moaning with need=20 and want Tom's tongue had teased Chakotay's lips into opening so he=20 could explore the inside of his mouth and the cool heat vibrated=20 throughout his body, as his mind chided him for doing without this=20 for so long. Hips and erections rubbed against each other through their layers of=20 clothing. Chakotay's lips blazed a trail down the long pale neck=20 biting and sucking leaving marks showing where he had been. He ceased=20 thinking and gave into the sensations and pleasures of the moment and=20 in one swoop, picked Tom up into his arms and laid him down on the=20 biobed and climbed on, ready to ravish the man beneath him. "Chakotay, wake-up." A sudden rush of adrenaline woke him up like it=20 was a red alert and he bolted upright on the bed. Turning in fright=20 and guilt, he found Tamara kneeling next to him with a scared look on=20 her face. "Are you okay, Tay?" She reached for him with one hand and was very=20 surprised when he flinched. She pulled back in wonder and acceptance. "Nothing," he lied quickly unable to hide his shame. He was hoping=20 the shadows of the room would hide his embarrassment. "Tom Paris, uh," she chuckled slightly, sitting back and crossing her=20 legs. "That man is a beautiful piece of work, isn't he?" "What?" He got an incredulous look on his bronze face. "Come on, Tay. He's been under you skin for years and now=85you're=20 dreaming about him again." Tamara stated. "How do you know? Have you been reading my thoughts without=20 permission?" He demanded to know as he grabbed her wrist pulling her=20 to him. With the face that allowed her and her husband to clean up at the=20 poker tables, "I couldn't sleep, so I was on the holodeck meditating=20 after a=85workout when suddenly your `dreams' invaded my spirit realm.=20 You and Tom put on quite a show, you know." She told him truthfully=20 and felt him stiffen up beneath her body. "What=85what do you know about it?" He got defensive until she started=20 wiggling around trying to distract him and keep him from putting up=20 walls. "I know more than you think," she smarted off to him playing with his=20 chest directing some of his sexual energy toward her. Chakotay pushed her off of him and got up from the bed not knowing=20 what to think anymore. True he did dream about Tom from time to time,=20 but this last time=85it was more than a dream somehow, for it felt so=20 real, and his body was aching for a touch he never really had, yet=20 was missing. He pulled on his civilian clothes and grabbed his=20 medicine bundle. "I need to think and meditate, Tam, I'm going to the holodeck." "Fine. Whatever." She locked herself in the bathroom for some=20 guaranteed privacy, and leaned against the door. //that was too=20 close, // she chided herself, as tears fell down her face. They had=20 almost remembered what happened in sickbay all those moths ago, and=20 that would be a disaster. It also showed that Chakotay and Tom were=20 more connected than she had realized if the two of them were pulled=20 together like that, via her; and a part of her was glad it was=20 through her, or she wouldn't have known in time to stop it from=20 progressing too far.=20 Of course there was the sting of how close Tom and Chakotay were,=20 after only one night, even if neither man truly remembered it, where=20 she had to work for Chakotay's love. She closed her eyes and felt=20 Chakotay's confusion of the dream, the guilt of desiring Tom since he=20 was married to a woman he loved=85 //Yes, he loves me, // she reminded=20 herself.=20 Then she worked on placing up barriers to block the link between the=20 two men, not just for her, but for them. A dark part of her wanted to=20 rip it out, but that would hurt Tom greatly, for it was the union of=20 Chakotay's love that really healed him, not her. Sure, she helped him=20 get back on his feet and gain self worth, but it was Chakotay that=20 gave him the reason to try. No, removing the link was out of the=20 question, she would just have to work harder on keeping it from=20 bleeding through like it had been.=20 She did what she could, sensing that Tom had continued on with his=20 share of the memory, believing it a dream, and if he continued he=20 might remember that it was real=85this couldn't be allowed, so with a=20 mental push=85 Tom woke up with a shout, "Chakotay," and a raging hard on. Finding=20 himself alone in his quarters from the life like dream, he pulled his=20 cock out and finished his thoughts of Chakotay in his arms, the two=20 of the making love. Afterwards, he took a warm shower and went=20 peacefully to sleep. =09 *********** Even weeks later, the subject of Tom Paris and the dream became a=20 forbidden subject between them and was left open and unspoken of.=20 They still enjoyed their friendship with Tom, for both of them felt=20 that Tom was apart of their family now, but never mentioned that=20 night to him or each other=85it was to be dropped and so it was, to a=20 degree.=20=20 With that as a distraction, Chakotay forgot about the problems he had=20 seen Tamara was facing in the dream, not realizing it was her mind=20 that he and Tom had transversed, because her veneer of control was=20 slipping beyond her grasp. This led to her taking up counseling sessions with Tuvok, but up till=20 today, they had gone almost text book, and very clam. She would=20 discus some of her concerns, and Tuvok would point out the logic of=20 the situation, but today, it didn't seem to be enough, and finally,=20 (as Tuvok had quietly thought,) she broke her calm exterior.=20 "Oh=85fuck logic!" she suddenly snapped. "Logic isn't always the key to=20 every problem, sometimes you have too=85take risks, regardless of the=85 logic or right or wrongness of the actions taken," she fumed.=20 This got Tuvok's attention, "Are you saying you have done the wrong=20 thing, knowing it was wrong in your eyes?"=20 She turned her dark green eyes on the Vulcan, anger flaring, not only=20 at his all too calm manner, but because she revealed something she=20 wasn't suppose to; so in response she simply stood up and started to=20 storm toward the door, her intentions of leaving, and was surprised=20 to find that they wouldn't open. She whirled, "Let me out of here!" "You have not answered my question, Healer," Tuvok stated, knowing=20 that for humans, they needed to be pushed at times to reveal unwanted=20 emotions, Healer Tamara was no exception.=20 "Let me out of here, you pointed eared freak!" she shouted, her face=20 flushing with the red of her temper. "You have no right to keep me=20 here! No body has the right to keep me prisoner!"=20 "You have been a prisoner? Back on Rashela?"=20 "None of your business," she growled, and turned away, facing the=20 doors, but not seeing them, as her hands clenched and unclenched as=20 she took deep breaths to control her anger.=20 "Perhaps it `is' my `business', since it obviously holds a great deal=20 of meaning to you," he stated calmly. He arched a brow when he saw=20 her slim shoulders starting to rise and fall rapidly, thinking she=20 had started to cry, but the sound he heard from her removed that=20 belief=85she was laughing.=20 Tamara turned to face Tuvok, not caring if tears were falling down=20 her face or not, she didn't give a damn. "Yeah, I was in prison. You=20 want to know why? For killing a guard that was trying to hold me down=20 when that bastard of a Prince wanted to rape me. He raped me, and I=85I=20 go to jail=85is that a lark or what?" she laughed, as more tears of=20 pain fell down her cheeks.=20 "Oh, and don't think the rapes stopped once I was `safely' tucked=20 away in a foul stinking rotting cell=85no! Oh, the guard's didn't touch=20 me that way; they wouldn't dare=85that privilege was left up to Cat's=20 sperm donor, every fucking chance he got! Oh, they had their own=20 forms of fun with me too=85dead rats in my food, stripping me naked in=20 front of them all on a night Jack Frost would have been shivering on.=20 Oh, and let's not forget their favorite, how much can we beat her ass=20 till she can't heal it and hid it from the Prince, for if he got wind=20 I was hurt, he would chew them out. No, real punishment, just yell,=20 and then they would take it out on me again!"=20 By now she had moved from the doors and was hovering over Tuvok that=20 still remained seated in his chair. "To get out of prison I had to=20 agree to be that son-of-a-bitches whore and bear him a child! A child=20 I didn't want=85" she caught her words with horrific meaning, and=20 turned away, clasping her hands over her mouths as some realization=20 dawned on her, and she cried.=20 "You are a good mother, Tamara," Tuvok stated, his voice a bit=20 lower. "The fact that you had doubts about becoming=85" "It wasn't doubt," she stated, turning toward the man, "I=85I didn't=20 want her," she cried. "I didn't want my own daughter," she added as=20 she sat down on the sofa and let the pain flow from her heart.=20 "Because she was forced on you?"=20 "No, because she would be a constant reminder of that hell and all I=20 lost=85" She looked up, her face swollen from tears, "I didn't want her=20 for that reason=85but=85but now=85"=20 "You no longer feel that way about her."=20 "No, I=85now she and the other children=85they=85they remind me of what I=20 could lose now."=20 Tuvok arched his brow, "Clarify?"=20 "It was sudden when I was taken or what have you from my time and=20 home, what is there to say it won't happen again? Before I would have=20 given anything to go back, now=85" she used her sleeve like a child to=20 wipe her face and nose. "You wish to stay with the family and the life you have created here.=20 That is a most logical desire for one such as you, Healer. But may I=20 point out, you your self said they, the people of Rashela were=20 performing an experiment, and the odds of a portal back to your=20 original time without their direct assistance, is, three hundred=20 billion six hundred and ninety-seven million, eight thousand and four=20 to one, give or take the current facts as I have calculated.=20 She only stared at him for a moment, stunned at the astronomical=20 number he had just quoted, "It sounds like you have given this some=20 thought?"=20 "When you became a member of this crew, it was my duty to see if=20 there would be any unexpected departures on your behalf," he stated,=20 not a lie, but he would never admit he was concerned for the=20 Commander should he lose the mother of his children.=20 She had stopped crying and gave a small laugh, mostly from the=20 releasing of stress that had been built up for so long. "Well, if I=20 had of known, I probably wouldn't have been so worried." Then she=20 yawned, another physical sign of the body releasing pent of stress,=20 not necessarily meaning she was tried.=20 "As for what occurred back on Rashela, I would like us to discuss=20 that in more detail, as well as to what guilt plague you in regards=20 to your actions, and why you think they were wrong, in our next=20 session. I believe you have exerted yourself enough for now."=20 Tamara had only nodded yes, as she stifled another yawn, feeling the=20 pent up stress from the emotions she had kept bottled up along with=20 the guilt of even having them, finally start to leave her. She was=20 also glad that Tuvok took her words in reference to the distant past,=20 so she felt that her particular secret about her husband and Tom was=20 safe. "Very well," she said softly as she stood up and moved toward=20 the doors, then looked back at him. "They will open, for I had them set on a timer, to assure our session=20 was not cut short."=20 "Very insightful," she stated, though there was little anger, for he=20 did help her overcome one of the many hurdles she had been blocking,=20 keeping her from containing the confines of her mind. She then turned=20 after giving him another nod, this of respect, and left, walking=20 slowly down the hall. With each step came a realization that it was=20 the secrets that were hurting her, for she had always been the type=20 of person that never wanted to hold anything back from those she=20 love; but things had changed, she had changed, but not as much as she=20 had hoped.=20 She stepped into her quarters, her home=85and felt empty inside seeing=20 it was empty of its occupants, her children and her husband, and all=20 the extensions of her family, Tom=85and Kathryn, Harry=85 The ones she=20 loved with all of her being and would do anything to protect them.=20 She knew that the adults were on duty, and Cat was in school, and the=20 twins were in day care, set up by the crew, for as more and more=20 people were pairing off, children were soon to be in the picture.=20 She moved in and walked to the view port, staring at the stars, her=20 arms folded around her chest, when a glint of gold caught her eye.=20 She turned to see the picture on the near by table and moved to pick=20 it up, it was a group shot taken by Neelix, Her, the twins, Cat,=20 Chakotay, and Tom=85 looking very happy=85they all were. She=20 sighed, //Some secrets are necessary, but not all guilt. // She=20 decided then to work out as much as she could with Tuvok, to help put=20 the past where it belonged, so her future could be more clear; as for=20 Tom and Chakotay, once again, she accepted her responsibility, and=20 looking at the picture, taken not that long ago, seeing a happy=20 smiling man=85guilt flew out the window.=20 She put down the picture, "Okay, girl. Out with the old in with the=20 new," she smiled. "And this is your home=85and nothing or no one is=20 going to take it away from you=85including you=85you hear me?" she asked=20 her reflection in the view port. "Good!" With her conviction in=20 place, she set herself in motion. Sure it would take some time with=20 Tuvok to work some of the things out, but this was her home and where=20 her future lay, and she was going to make the best she could out of=20 it! ************ Tamara slipped from the warmth of Chakotay's arms, body and bed to=20 check on the twins, for it was her turn. Kolotay was asleep, but=20 Charlin was fussing until Mom picked her up and settled into the=20 rocking chair for a bout of rocking and humming. At two years old,=20 Mom was still needed to rock them to sleep and chased their fears=20 away, and it made her realize how glad she was to be here for them,=20 and all of her family. Musing, she realized the twins needed a bigger=20 bed and maybe redecorate the room, since they were no longer babies.=20 It was the last thing she recalled as she nodded off holding her=20 daughter happily in her arms. Standing in the doorway, Chakotay watched the scene in front of his=20 dark eyes and his chest tightened in love for his family. He was not=20 used to waking up alone anymore and he worried for a moment when he=20 discovered Tamara was not in bed. Feeling her and his children in the=20 back of his mind was still new to him.=20 She had convinced him to link and make a family circle, not only for=20 security and peace of mind, should they get separated, but it=20 increased the bond between them. It was like an awareness that he=20 could concentrate on and get an inkling of how or what they were up=20 to and feeling. All four were feeling sleepy and peaceful feelings=20 washing over him soothing him with their contentment, and he smiled,=20 with a silent prayer of thanks on his lips to the spirits for the=20 gift they had given him.=20 Putting a hand on Tamara's shoulder, he let her know it was time to=20 get up and get ready for their shift. Smiling at him, she put Charlin=20 back in bed with her brother. Sam Wildman-Alaya was coming over to=20 get the twins for today so Tamara could pull her first shift on the=20 bridge with Chakotay. Tamara was getting a chance to fly Voyager today. After nearly two=20 years of flying the shuttles, the Delta Flyer, the Seymour and=20 countless hours in flight sims with Tom Paris and Chakotay, Captain=20 Janeway felt confident enough to let the Healer have a chance at the=20 helm; for Voyager could always use a few more back up pilots, was her=20 argument to the Captain and she had agreed. She was daydreaming about=20 being at the conn as she pulled her clothes and brushed her teeth the=20 excitement crackling in her eyes. Catching her off guard, Chakotay pulled her into his arms for a long=20 loving kiss. Responding to his kiss she wrapped her arms around his=20 waist and grabbed his ass, massaging the rounded cheeks. He groaned=20 in desire as they started playing tag with their tongues. "Jeez, Mom, Dad! Why don't you two get a room?" Cat said in disgust=20 as she stepped out of her bedroom heading for the hall bathroom. They=20 broke apart laughing as the bathroom door shut. The door chime sounded and Samantha was let in to care for the twins=20 and Naomi was with her waiting for Cat. "Thanks, Sam for watching the twins," Tamara said as they left their=20 quarters to head for the Mess Hall, though it wasn't necessary, the=20 two families switched off quit frequently, till the day care crew=20 reported for duty, for there were now four other children that needed=20 their services on board, and soon, in three months, number five would=20 arrive. It had come as a surprise when Sam and Greg hooked up and=20 more so when she filed with the Captain a state of divorce decree,=20 freeing her legally and morally to marry Greg. "Good luck at the helm, Tamara." Samantha replied, as she waddled in,=20 but glowing like a thousand watt light bulb, and watched the happy=20 couple head off to work.=20 "Nervous, Tam?" Chakotay teased as they took the turbo lift to the=20 Mess Hall. "Yes." Came her reply short and curt. "You'll be fine." He hugged her and felt her trembling. "Relax, you=20 know that you wouldn't be doing this if you weren't up to the task,=20 my wife or no," he said to reassure her, knowing she understood, that=20 he never played favorites when it came to the safety of his family or=20 the crew. Then held her hand as they walked together to grab=20 breakfast together.=20 Breakfast went by fast and the next thing Tamara knew she was=20 slipping into the seat at the helm of Voyager. Lt. Tom Paris was at=20 her side in case she ran into any trouble and after a few moments of=20 nervousness her fingers began to dance across the console. Tom=20 squeezed her shoulder in reassurance when she faltered for a quick=20 second and recovered. Excitement raced through her when her confidence began to grow in her=20 ability to handle the starship. She had come to enjoy being a=20 doctor/Healer, but this=85this was something that if she had a choice=85 she'd be doing full time. She recalled when Tom let her take the helm=20 of the shuttle for the very first time and how she was hooked. It was=20 like suddenly being included in a secret club that one couldn't=20 fathom till you experienced it, and now she understood Tom and her=20 husband much better. She also understood what Chakotay had given up=20 to be the First Officer and it made her admire him even more, as if=20 there was any room left in that department.=20 "Flying, baby's flying, whoa, whoa, baby's flying," she sang softly=20 to herself, forgetting the rest of the words and hummed the rest. "What song is that, Tamara?" Kathryn Janeway asked from behind her in=20 the command chair. "20th century tune called "Baby's Flying", Captain," Tamara said=20 cheerfully as she got a few chuckles and smiles from the bridge crew. "Sounds like we got another candidate for Talent Night." Janeway=20 grinned. "Only if you want my voice to scare everyone out of the room,=20 Captain," Tamara responded. "My old man will back me up on that one." "She's right, Captain. Tamara can't sing a note, but she's got the=20 perfect ear for music," Chakotay remarked with a full smile. "That's right, but he can make me sing out about other things."=20 Tamara teased and she could feel his blushing through their link.=20 Harry disappear behind his console and Tom fell out of his chair in=20 his laughter while Kathryn and Tamara watched Chakotay turn different=20 shades of red while grinning at him. Tuvok merely looked disgusted at=20 the whole thing. "However, if you're looking for a great voice, you should be looking=20 next to you, for oh, how can that man sing!" she added sweetly.=20 "Tam, you promised!" Chakotay found himself replying, forgetting=20 himself at the moment. Then looked about, seeing he was found=20 out. "Okay, so I sing in the shower=85and that's all," he stated,=20 regaining his Commanding presence. The little snicker from Janeway=20 and his wife made him shiver, for he knew=85they were plotting=20 already. //better start looking for a song, otherwise you'll be on=20 the spot unprepared, // he thought, for he knew these women too well.=20 "Tam, you should do this course change like this," Tom said bringing=20 her full attention back to the console. "Thanks, Tom. I'm really glad you're here with me on this," she said=20 under her breath. The friendship between the two had deepened over=20 the months since B'Elanna's death and his interest and her expertise=20 in the 20th century had led to some interesting adventures on the=20 holodeck. Plus, he was apart of the family, for thought Chakotay=20 still wouldn't talk about it all this time later, this was what he=20 wanted, and after a while, so did she.=20 "You're welcome, Tam." His blue eyes bore into her green eyes and she=20 blushed when she sensed his desires and wants. Turning her attention back to her board, she could feel Chakotay's=20 jealousy and another sort of undertone directed at Tom Paris. There=20 was an asteroid field coming up that Voyager was going to through for=20 her to practice and it was going to demand her full attention. She=20 filed Chakotay's jealousy away to mull over later, for she wasn't=20 clear, was he jealous of Tom moving on her or her moving on Tom? There was no other feeling in the galaxy that compared to flying a=20 starship. It was a freedom until itself and nothing could top it,=20 except maybe making love with Chakotay. She was by herself at the=20 helm while Tom was manning the science station while Baxter took a=20 break. A better way to describe it was dancing among the stars. A rough hand on her shoulder made her jump. Looking up, she found=20 Chakotay smiling down at her. "You're doing great, babe," he said in=20 a hushed tone.=20 "Thanks, sweet cheeks," she replied in an equal hushed tone, and felt=20 him move back to his seat.=20 Voyager was halfway through the asteroid field when the attack=20 started and the ship rocked under the impact of weapons fire.=20 Suddenly, Tamara found herself trying to keep the ship stabilized=20 moving around asteroids and dodging pot shots. Red alert sounded and=20 she could hear explosions behind her and off to her left. "Tamara, get us out of here!" Chakotay yelled. "On it, sir." Her fingers flew over the console sending the ship into=20 a barrel roll under the alien ships and up over an asteroid. "Can you tell who is attacking us?" Janeway barked at Ensign Harry=20 Kim. "Sensors are off line, Captain. Shields are down to 64%," Harry said=20 above the noise. "Can we hail them?" Janeway asked. "No response to any attempts, Captain." Tuvok answered. "I'm getting damage reports from all over the ship," Chakotay=20 reported as he scanned his terminal. He could feel Tamara's raising=20 concern over her experience in handling the ship. Tamara was starting to panic as Voyager began to feel sluggish and=20 drift under her inexperienced hands and taking heavy damage. She=20 needed help badly. Handling a shuttle was one thing, this was a=20 starship and the rules were different as well as size. As she looked=20 towards the science station to Tom, who was halfway out of his seat=20 leaning on the console, hoping for his help, it exploded and sent the=20 pilot hurtling towards her. With a loud wail of pain, Paris hit the=20 floor beside her out cold from his injuries. Then to make matters=20 worse, another explosion from behind her, and she no longer could=20 feel her Love's awareness=85he was hurt.=20 "Damage report," Janeway barked behind her checking on her=20 unconscious First Officer, but Tamara was busy keeping Voyager from=20 banging into any nearby debris, it was up to her to keep this crew=20 alive, and the feeling that she was failing was overwhelming her. Risking a glance at Tom, she got an idea when she saw how close he=20 was to her with his head at her feet and could smell the burnt flesh=20 from the injuries. Kicking her shoes and socks off, she used her bare=20 feet to cradle his neck and head giving her physical contact so she=20 could try and link with him. With her hands fighting with the console=20 to keep the ship intact, she winced at the amount of pain Tom was in=20 as she dove into his mind. Keeping the pain at bay, she linked with=20 him telepathically. //Tom, come fly with me. I need you to help me get Voyager out of=20 this asteroid field. // Tamara entered his pain-filled mind pushing=20 the agony of his burnt hands and arms off to one side. //Tam?// He felt confused and fiery pain running down his body. //Yes, Tom. It's me. You're injured pretty badly and technically=20 unconscious, while I'm at the helm. Voyager is adrift in the asteroid=20 field and I need you to guide me so we can get the ship out of=20 danger, for she's taking a beating, and dear one, Chakotay has been=20 hurt.// she felt Tom respond to the news with all his strength and=20 desire to help.=20 Tamara merged his mind with hers. //I can hold the pain at bay. You=20 fly and I'll do the rest. // `How?' He embraced the link accepting the challenge, for Voyager and=20 Chakotay were in danger. //Like this, // she showed him his image overlying with hers letting=20 him take control of her reflexes and instincts while she took control=20 of his pain. Tamara shared her confidence and trust in him when his=20 self esteem hesitated a little bit. Then he blossomed and her fingers=20 flew over the conn with his ability, grace and style no one else in=20 the galaxy could ever hope to match and soon Voyager was safe if=20 somewhat banged up. The conn overloaded sending Tamara flying backwards and landing at=20 the feet of Captain Janeway. Darkness descended on Tamara and she=20 didn't know anymore. A slightly dazed Janeway used a site to site to=20 transport both Tom and Tamara to Sickbay, where Chakotay and a few=20 others had been already sent for care. ************ It was more of a confusion of thoughts when she awoke in Sickbay two=20 days later. Thomas Paris and Healer Tamara, their identities were=20 mixed together and it was going to take awhile to untangle the mess=20 created by the accident. Tamara was glad Tom was asleep and his=20 injuries on the mend, for she didn't think she could handle him and=20 his pain at the moment. Then she realized there was another presence=20 already there sorting through the mess, lending her a hand. //Tuvok?// she sensed his logic and meticulous picking the aspects of=20 our identities apart and putting them where they belonged. Tom to his=20 and Tamara to hers, but the damage was done and they had bonded like=20 life mates. Guilt ran over Tamara at what she had done. //There is no logical reason to feel guilt over this, Healer. You and=20 Mr. Paris did what you had too to save Voyager. The Commander will=20 understand. // I had betrayed Chakotay, my love, my mate=85again; her mind whispered=20 farther back, where even Tuvok couldn't touch. //I hope so, // she=20 projected, trying to keep her wits about her. //We'll just have to=20 wait and see. Is this going to take much longer, Tuvok? // Tamara=20 asked feeling sleepy again. //Go to sleep, Tamara. A deep healing sleep. // Tuvok projected, and=20 then continued on with the difficult task at hand.=20 Chakotay was sitting on the bridge staring at the viewscreen his PADD=20 forgotten in his hand. He could feel something wrong in his awareness=20 of Tamara. There were now two other presences in her mind and he was=20 dimly sensing mass confusion.=20 Her feeling of betrayal hit him in the gut like a hefty punch=20 followed by a wave of despair and guilt. It was more than his mind=20 could handle, for he hadn't learned any of the techniques that she=20 and Tuvok had for blocking unwanted thoughts, for he never saw the=20 need, and so when the wave hit him, his mind overloaded, he fell to=20 the deck in a faint. "Chakotay," Janeway exclaimed not able to catch him in time. "Janeway=20 to transporter room. Beam Commander Chakotay directly to Sickbay." Chakotay was transported to Sickbay and placed on the bio-bed next to=20 Tamara. The EMH ran a scan over him and administered a hypo spray to=20 his neck. He awoke to find the Doctor and Lt. Tuvok standing over him. "What happened?" the First Officer asked in confusion. "You fainted, otherwise you're fine. You can leave when you are=20 ready," the EMH said brusquely as he returned to Tom Paris' bedside. "Commander, I need to speak with you concerning Healer Tamara and Mr.=20 Paris," Tuvok stated as Chakotay sat up swinging his legs to one side=20 of the bed. "But first, you should know, your fainting was due to an=20 emotional overload received by your wife. I recommend sessions on=20 techniques to prevent this from occurring again. However, as for your=20 wife and Lieutenant Paris..."=20 "What about them, Tuvok?" He was a little blunt with the Vulcan. "Are you aware of how we got out of danger the other day?" Tuvok=20 asked, wondering just how deep the bond between the Commander and his=20 wife went. "No. I thought Tamara got us out of danger with a bit of fancy flying=20 on her own." He rubbed the back of his neck as he glanced at Tamara=20 still asleep on the next bed. "The Healer established a mind link with Mr. Paris so he could guide=20 her in getting Voyager out of harm's way. By blocking the pain of his=20 injuries, Mr. Paris was in fact using Tamara's body to fly Voyager=20 out of danger." The Vulcan explained his eyes on the Commander. "I don't see what the problem is. It looks like Tamara did what she=20 had to too get Voyager to safety." Chakotay was puzzled. "When the helm exploded and Tamara was injured, she had not broken=20 the link with Mr. Paris. Although unconscious, they were still=20 linked. I became aware of their distress last night and separated the=20 link in most part for them." The Vulcan stopped as if unable to find=20 the right words. "What do you mean by the most part?" Chakotay demanded with a sinking=20 feeling in his gut and a worried look in Tamara's direction and=20 Tom's. They were both asleep. "They have bonded on several levels and that was the distress you=20 felt from your wife that cause you to faint. She feels like she has=20 betrayed you and the guilt is overwhelming her despite my telling her=20 that it was not anyone's fault." "Can the bond be broken?" he asked with concern. "Not without causing them a great deal of pain and anguish,=20 Commander. I would not recommend that course of action." He raised an=20 eyebrow at the suggestion. "Thank you, Tuvok." Chakotay dismissed the Security Chief needing=20 time to think. He walked from the biobed he was on to stand near his=20 wife, while looking on to see Tom being tended too in the distance by=20 the EMH, his heart and mind filled with some confusion, as he sorted=20 through the options that lay out before him and his family, which=20 seemed to include Tom Paris even more than before.=20 Feeling his presence, Tamara woke up. "Chakotay?" Tears welled up in=20 her eyes. He approached her with no expression on his face. //Oh=20 Spirits! I finally fucked up enough that he's going to dump me. //=20 her mind cried. "I'm sorry." Chakotay bent over and kissed her. "There's nothing to be sorry=20 about, baby. You did what you had to for the crew and ship." The tension drained from her body in relief. "What about Tom?" "What about him, baby? You need your rest." He replied with a loving=20 smile, for he knew the answers he needed in his heart, and when she=20 was ready, he would let her know.=20 "I agree." The Doctor said as he injected a sedative in her neck. "I'll get even." She fell asleep with an image of decompiling the=20 doctor's matrix. "Doctor, what is the full extent of Tom's injuries?" Chakotay asked=20 as he turned to gaze at the blond pilot lying still on the bio bed=20 next to Tamara. "Mr. Paris suffered very extensive burns to his hands, arms,=20 shoulders and chest. I've nearly lost him twice to cardiac arrest.=20 Regeneration of his hands and lower arms is going to take a long time=20 and than he'll need physical therapy to relearn the use of his hands=20 and limbs. He is going to require long term care for this sort of=20 injury, Commander." The Doctor said. "Can he get the long term care he needs here in Sick Bay or would a=20 family unit be better for Tom?" Chakotay asked knowing through the=20 link she would easily agree to what he was planning, thanking the=20 Spirits for her love and understanding. "Are you suggesting your family, Commander?" The Doctor asked as he=20 ran a fresh set of scans over the Healer, relieved that she was fully=20 recovered from her physical injuries. "Could be. I would need to talk to Tamara. I made the suggestion=20 because we all know how much Mr. Paris hates Sick Bay, Doctor," he=20 lied easily.=20 "That is certainly true. Your family would be a good place for Mr.=20 Paris to regain his health, Commander. I'll make the recommendation=20 to the Captain," The EMH was satisfied with her readings. "Tamara can=20 go home this evening and return to duty in 24 hours." "Tay?" Tamara woke up fighting the sedative; for she had to speak=20 with her husband...she had too.=20 "What, baby?" Her green eyes opened and regarded his dark eyes full=20 of love and she felt relieved. "What about Tom? Can he come home with us, please?" she=20 pleaded. "Wolf, horse and falcon all together," she mumbled. Time=20 for the healing to begin, to make things right," she murmured some=20 more as she fell back asleep from the vision in her dream. There was=20 Chakotay with his wolf, she with her stallion and Tom watching a=20 golden falcon in the blue sky while children crawled at their feet. "He's coming home, baby, don't worry. I'll make the arrangements." He=20 kissed her forehead and left Sickbay to talk to the Captain. ************ Tom Paris awoke for the first time since he had been injured two=20 weeks prior and was feeling pretty groggy. With his fuzzy mind, he=20 became aware of no feeling or movement below his neck. What was going=20 on? Than he felt something in the back of his mind, awareness with a=20 strong feeling of protectiveness and love for him. "Hey, Dancer. Welcome back to the land of the living." Tamara said as=20 she ran her fingers through his red-gold hair. "Tam?" His throat was dry and she quickly brought him a drink of=20 water. "Just sips, Tom. You've been out for nearly fifteen days." She gave=20 him another sip of water. "You were injured pretty badly." "Is that you in my head?" Tom asked hoarsely. He could smell her=20 scent like spices and roses. "Yes, we accidentally bonded while we flying Voyager together. We got=20 mixed up and Tuvok had to separate our identities about twelve days=20 ago." Tamara explained quietly knowing if they talked too loud the=20 EMH would come online and she wanted some private time with Tom. "How bad, Tam?" His blue eyes pleaded with her green ones filling=20 full of tears and despair. "You suffered extensive burns on your chest, shoulders, arms and your=20 hands. We nearly lost you twice to cardiac arrest," Her tears were=20 echoing his own and she felt the calming influence of Chakotay behind=20 them. "The Doctor induced a coma while I worked on regenerating your=20 arms and hopefully your hands." "Will I fly again, Tam?" "I don't know, baby. It's going to take a few more weeks to regrow=20 your hands and than extensive physical therapy. Why don't we take it=20 one step at a time?" She wiped the tears from his eyes. "Why didn't you just let me die?" Despair rolled over him and with a=20 strong feeling of helplessness following which made Tamara's gut roll=20 in turmoil. "Because `we' love you and now our family wouldn't be complete=20 without you, Tom." Chakotay said softly in his low melodic voice=20 surprising both of them. "Cha?" Tom questioned in confusion and a sudden spark of hope filled=20 him. "I know this isn't the best place for this conversation, but I've had=20 feelings for you for a very long time now. It took almost losing you=20 two to wake me up. If you died now, it would not only hurt Tam very=20 badly because of the bond you share together, but it would break my=20 heart." Chakotay admitted laying a hand on Tom's cheek and stroking=20 it with the back of his hand. Tom found himself leaning into the=20 caress. "Tam, why can't I feel anything?" Tom asked in anguish changing the=20 subject when he suddenly got scared that a nightmare of his might=20 come true. "I have the nerves blocked so you can sleep naturally and not full of=20 drugs. The Doctor and I have been butting heads over you for a few=20 days now concerning the treatment of your hands. We started the=20 physical therapy on your arms several days ago." She sent a wave of=20 love, not only from her but Chakotay, and a hope of a future with him=20 in their lives through the bond. Feeling the truth behind their=20 words, he relaxed slightly still a little apprehensive. "Since you=20 are awake, I'm going to unblock the nerves and see how much pain=20 there is. It's going to hurt, Tom." "I'm used to pain in my life." His body was on fire and he screamed for relief as a wave of cool=20 healing washed over him and the nerves were healed. There was feeling=20 in his legs, hips, chest, everywhere but his lower arms and hands,=20 which were heavily bandaged. When he became aware of surroundings, he=20 found himself in Chakotay's arms while Tamara had her hands on his=20 face and head; if he wasn't in so much pain, he would have been in=20 heaven. "At least he can get up and start getting around again. We can take=20 him home today, Handsome," Tamara was telling Chakotay as she=20 finished and yawned suddenly as fatigue set in. "The new quarters are ready and all of `our' stuff has been moved.=20 Sam and Ayala are taking the children so we can get Tom settled in,"=20 he replied while holding Tom and rubbing his lower back until the=20 trembling stopped, letting his love for the young man flow from his=20 fingers. "Don't I get a say in the matter?" Tom snapped feeling like his life=20 was spinning out of control again like it had been at the time of=20 B'Elanna's death. "Sure you do, Tom. Do you want to stay here in Sick Bay or go home=20 with us?" Tamara cocked an eyebrow at him. She felt his indecision=20 and the cocky attitude snap into place for a brief moment and than he=20 relaxed his defenses as he looked up at the man still rubbing his=20 back with care. Laying his head on Chakotay's shoulder, he answered=20 with a sigh, "Home with you." Tamara placed a cortical monitor on his neck behind his ear and he=20 glared at her sideways. "Doctor insisted. We had to compromise on a=20 few things and this was one of them." "We'll do a site to site, Tam. You look exhausted." Chakotay said as=20 he lifted Tom off the bio bed with ease and gave him a gentle hug. "You'll get no argument from me today, Tay." Tamara agreed as she=20 tapped her com badge. "Healer to transporter room. Site to site for=20 myself, Mr. Paris and Commander Chakotay to our new quarters please." "Yes, ma'am." They rematerialized in the new First Officer's quarters. "These don't look like your quarters, Cha?" Tom commented as he=20 looked around. "We took over the Chief Medical Officer's quarters and the=20 observation lounge next to it to make room for our ever-growing=20 family. We rearranged it into a new home for all of us." Chakotay=20 placed the pilot on the couch in the new living area, his eyes=20 meeting teary blue, as he smiled how much he was touched by the=20 sediment. "Who moved my office, Tay?" Tamara bellowed from her desk in the=20 corner. "I did and no one else. All right?" He grinned at a bemused Tom. "Now, I'll never find anything." She snorted while rummaging through=20 the desk drawers. "What are you trying to find, Tam?" Chakotay asked giving Tom one of=20 his big smiles complete with dimples, knowing that his wife had an=20 organized chaos to her desk, and he sometimes cleaned it up just for=20 the fun of watching her fuss; she wasn't the only one with a wicked=20 sense of humor in the family. "The PADD that had the holoprogram I was working on. I had a thought=20 to add and now it's gone. I've been working on that for over a=20 month." She complained. "Ah, the hell with it." "Now what?" Chakotay smirked while Tom choked on a laugh, suddenly=20 seeing Chakotay's amusement and the realization that the older man=20 did this on purpose to his wife. "Nothing. Will you two be all right while I take a nap?" She eyed=20 them suspiciously knowing that the two of them would be exploring=20 each other before much longer. "Yes, Tam. We'll be fine." Chakotay sat next to a blushing Tom=20 running his fingers through his hair. "Go to sleep." "In that case, I'll sleep in the spare bedroom so you can make as=20 much noise as you want too." They could hear her laughter as the door=20 closed behind her, even as their lips met in a much desired, long=20 over due kiss. ************ End of Part Eleven ************ ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML. NewMessage: