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From: "Sileya" <sil@sileya.net>
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Date: Fri, 9 Jan 2004 07:34:10 -0600
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW VOY: "How the Bitch Stole Christmas" 1/1 (J/crew) [NC-17]
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I wrote this for the Femmeslash fandom on Kira's 2003 Slash Advent 
Calendar. Since then I've been whoring it out all over the place 
(well, T'Lin's FFF and now here). Still, the girls don't seem to mind.


Title: How the Bitch Stole Christmas
Author: longbeachtrekstar (longbeachtrekstar@y...)
Series: VOY
Code: J/crew
Rating: NC-17
Parts: 1/1
Beta: Farfalla-la-la, la-la-la-la
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Star Trek. "How the Grinch Stole
Christmas" is by Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel). This is not for
profit, just Christmas merriment.
Archiving: Written for the Slash Advent Calendar of 2003 at
http://www.kardasi.com/Advent/2003. ASCEM also. Others, please ask 
first so I can say "yeah!"
Feedback: Yes please, here or by email.
Summary: A Star Trek VOY version of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

"How the Bitch Stole Christmas"
by longbeachtrekstar, December 2003


Every girl on board Voyager liked Christmas a lot.
But Kathryn Janeway, the Captain of the starship, DID NOT!
That Bitch hated Christmas and all of its games.
She was jealous of all of her hot horny dames.

You see, her cold pussy'd never been screwed just right,
And her asshole was always just a wee bit too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that her clit was two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason, her ass or her clit,
When it came to the holidays, she did not give a shit.
She just sat on the bridge, with her legs closed so tight,
And brooded and sulked all day long, and all night.

"I know what they're doing," she said in a snit.
"They're charging their batteries and oiling their tits!
With their vibrators charged, on their pussies they'll strum.
Then they'll cum, and they'll cum, and they'll CUM, CUM, CUM, CUM!"

All the girls there on Voyager, with large and small racks,
With flat little asses, and babes who "got back,"
Would all come together for a big yuletide orgy.
They'd act very nasty. They'd behave very whorey.

Then the moans and the groans, with delight they'd all squeal,
As one after the other, they all copped a feel.
Then the girls, on each other's pussies they'd suck.
Then with dildos they'd fuck, and they'd FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!

They'd all fuck the Borg, with her bionic quim.
With the biggest dildo, they'd fill her to the rim.
Then they'd all turn on Kessy, her pussy so tight,
While B'Elanna and Seska had a nude tickle-fight.

Then they'd strap that hot Klingon to the warp engine -- nude!
They would do lots of things to her, all of them rude.
As the warp engine throbbed beneath her Klingon butt,
She would shimmy and shake like an Orion slut.

"I can't let that happen," the Bitch soon declared.
"Of this lesbian lifestyle I want to be spared!
I know what I'll do! To their quarters I'll creep,
And I'll steal all their toys from them while they're asleep."

She rode in the turbo-lift to where they were sleeping,
And, entering the first room, commenced with her creeping.
She took all their sex toys, as much as she could.
Dog collars, leashes, even a hood!

Black boots with high heels, and fat anal beads.
Clit stimulators, what every girl needs!
She picked up ben-wa balls and a butterfly harness.
Some things, what they were, she could only guess.

As the mean Bitch bent down to take the last ribbed French tickler,
She double-checked her work, 'cause she was such a stickler.
Then a little girl appeared, going to the bathroom to pee.
It was sweet little Naomi, who be no more than three.

As much as she wanted to drop-kick the snot,
Even a Bitch like our Captain had to be nice to a tot.
The little bugger looked up at the Bitch and asked, "Why?
Why are you taking their favorite toys? Why?"

"Why my dear," the Bitch lied, "they've got cooties and yeast.
If your mom gets infected, she'll behave like a beast.
So I'm taking them back to my quarters, my dear.
I'll clean them up there, then I'll bring them back here."

Her lie fooled the child, and she patted her head.
Then she swatted her butt and said, "Now, off to bed!"
When Naomi was gone, the Bitch closed up her sack.
A bitchy grin on her face, she tossed it over her back.

Off to the airlock she went with her treasure.
"There'll be no sex toys to be giving them pleasure.
I will toss the whole lot into space, oh so cold.
These dildos will all soon be fucking black holes.

"Ho! Ho!" laughed the Bitch, "I wish I could be there,
When they see that the floor 'neath their yule tree is bare."
She strained to hear their sobs over the warp engine's humming.
"They're finding out now there'll be no Christmas cumming."

But the sounds that she heard were not sad sounds at all.
From the hootin' n' hollerin', they were havin' a ball!
So she hadn't stopped them from having lesbian sex.
She was wondering why and was totally vexed.

They came without hand-cuffs and without nipple rings.
They came without sex-swings on which they could swing.
They came without vibrators wrapped up in bows.
They came without butt-plugs, or even dildos.

She thought, rubbed her pussy, then she thought for some more.
She thought and she rubbed until both ends were sore.
"Maybe Christmastime pleasure isn't about sexy toys.
Maybe true happiness comes from sharing some joy."

And what happened then? Well, on Voyager they say
That the Bitch's small clit grew three sizes that day.
And the moment her ass didn't feel quite so tight,
She stuck in a butt-plug, and it felt just right.

So she brought back the toys, and the batteries too.
She looked at sweet Kes and said, "I want to fuck you."
Then she turned round and said, "I think I want another."
She had B'Elanna and Seven, one after the other.

Their Christmas was merry, their yuletide was slutty.
With new Christmas presents she fucked her fuck-buddies.
And the Captain would never be one who would boast,
But the Bitch (she herself!) orgasmed the most.

(End)




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