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Date: Wed, 28 Jan 2004 00:29:21 -0600
Subject: [ASCEM-S] New: TOS "The Cave of K'ri'lior" S, S(m), [NC-17] 1/2
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Title: " The Cave of K'ri'lior"
Series: TOS
Author: T'Thrill
Romance Codes:  S, S/(m) Withheld for right now, although 
most will pick it up right from the beginning.
Rating: NC-17   m/m sex
Summary:  During his time with the Kolinahru, Spock under 
This, like all my stories, can be found on my webpage -- 
T'Thrill's Den of Trek Delights - 
http://www.geocities.com/tthrill1612/ 
 
Warning:  This story contains *explicit* m/m sex.  I mean 
it!  It's pon farr, under the *most extreme* circumstances.  
There is nothing pretty about it!  If you are not interested in 
and/or are offended by such things, you will find reading 
this a complete waste of your time, so please move on.  If 
you are under 18 years of age, please move on, as well. 
 
Disclaimer: Copyright 2004 by T'Thrill. This is an original 
work of amateur fiction based on Star Trek. This work 
makes "fair use" of Star Trek copyrighted material; it is not 
intended to infringe on the intellectual property rights of 
Paramount, Viacom or other owners of copyright in Star 
Trek or any of their assignees or licensees. The author's 
copyright extends only to the original material in this work.

Archive:  Okay to archive in ASCEM, BLTS, and COCO-
SSD, provided that header, disclaimers, my name, and email 
address are all attached. All others please ask. My email 
address is -- TThrill1612@aol.com 
 
Acknowledgments--A big THANKS to my wonderful beta, 
Selek.  This story was actually inspired by Selek's Vulcan 
Language Dictionary (http://www.starbase-10.de/vld/).  I 
was looking for a Vulcan word for another story I am 
working on, and I noticed the word, K'ri'lior, eighth month 
of the Vulcan year, the meaning is Bright one.  Also, thanks 
go out to MizzMarcee, who read the first part of this story 
and gave me a big 'thumbs up'!


Chapter 1/2

It was the ninth day of the month K'ri'lior, the eleventh 
hour, when the burning began.  After only a brief 
moment of confusion, his mind yielded.  It had been 
six Standard years since he experienced the first 
burning.  The reason this was upon him sooner than 
expected was unimportant.  It was.  That was all that 
mattered.  The Standard translation for the word 
K'ri'lior is Bright one.  Once, long ago, there had once 
existed for him a 'bright one'.  Not a star.  A man.  A 
Human.  Now, he would be called to death in the 
month that unwittingly bore his name.  Even through 
the bands of sheer logic that had been sought after and 
found in these two Standard years, there was a smile 
that caressed the acolyte's lips.  Indeed, it was fitting.

There were alternatives.  None, however, were 
acceptable.  Although he did not seek death, neither 
did he fear it.  He accepted it.  It was restlessness 
followed by sleep.  It was torment followed by peace.  
It was a logical end to a life that had been comprised 
of equal mixtures of logic and emotion, successes and 
failures.  It would not be a notable death, but neither 
would it go unnoticed.  In five days, it would be done.

Had he not lived through the burning once before, he 
would not know this with such clarity.  Each male 
responds in the unique way of his own physiology, and 
it is an unknown until a cycle has been experienced.  
Possessing this knowledge, he could calculate almost 
to the second when his last breath would be drawn, the 
last heartbeat felt, the last call for relief would be 
ripped from his throat.  This, he found comforting.

It was simple mathematics, the most logical language 
of the universe.  The clock had begun.  It was a simple 
matter of counting down.  As calculated in VuH, there 
were eighteen hours in a Vulcan day.  Six additional 
hours would need to be allotted for his biological 
functions to stop.  Three minutes later, death would 
claim him.  Ninety-six hours and three minutes.  On 
the fourteenth t'ved of K'ri'lior, the seventeenth v'hral 
plus three lirt'k, his death would come.  Kaiidth.

Kneeling on the stone floor in a third level chamber at 
Gol, the very nature of the acolyte's meditation 
changed from that as a seeker of logic, to that as a 
seeker of courage.  The sonorous tone emanating from 
the ringing of the kep, signaling the time for the taking 
of sustenance, was ignored, as was the next.  Only 
when his knees could no longer bear his weight, and 
his thoughts could no longer be ordered, did he rest 
himself upon the thin pad that was positioned the 
length of his body away.  Eighty-seven hours, forty-
two minutes, he thought, as he closed his eyes.

The images that came to him in his sleep were 
troubling.  It was expected.  It was the call of the flame 
that burned steadily within him that awakened him.  
He lay on his back and concentrated on the block of 
stone located directly overhead, calculating its 
dimensions and weight, scrutinizing its texture and 
color.  It was no different from the other blocks that 
comprised the walls, floor, and ceiling.  This one, 
however, was the one on which he chose to remain 
fixated as he waited for the effects of the blazing 
torrent that had arisen within him to subside.

When it became bearable, he rose from the pad and 
resumed his meditative stance.  He had slept for four 
hours, eleven minutes.  The call for asal-yem, the first 
offered meal of the day, would be sounded in two 
point six hours.  He knew that upon refusing 
sustenance for a third time, the Shakhu, the elder one, 
would come to him.  The next period of time would 
need to be spent in preparation for his arrival.  
Knowing he would be required to defend his request 
for Kup'es Ma'toi, the right to die, he knew he must be 
ready to do so, logically and methodically, in an 
orderly manner.

Systematically, he began to define and justify his 
reasons.  When the kep sounded, he was prepared.  He 
did not have to wait long.

"Ne'lan Spahkh," the elder addressed his student as he 
entered the chamber.  "You have refused the offer of 
nourishment a third time.  Explain."

The acolyte remained in his kneeling position.  "The 
time of pon farr is upon me, Osu," he bowed his 
respect.

"Is there one who will attend?"

"Nirsh, Osu.  Neither do I request one to attend me.  I 
request Kup'es Ma'toi."

"It is not a choice made without consideration.  This 
choice is based on emotion?"

"Nirsh, Osu.  This choice is based on logic."

"Ne'lan Spahkh, you must convince me of this.  State 
your reasons."

"I am sa-ka-ashausu.  Only the body of a male can 
please me; therefore, procreation during the mating is 
impossible.  I have never before sired offspring, and it 
is my intention never to do so.  My continuation will 
not interrupt the genetic code that would otherwise be 
passed on through me.  I have no contributions that 
require my continued presence.  Any contributions I 
have made are self-sustaining and a matter of record.  I 
am expendable.  Neither the welfare of my planet, or 
of its people, is dependent on my continued existence.  
As a student of the Kolinahru, I am replaceable.  The 
Order has existed for two thousand years.  It shall 
continue in its existence even though I am no longer 
present.  Although my death may stir the emotions of 
some, it will cause physical harm to no one.  No fear, 
no anger, no hatred, nor any other emotion compels me 
in this decision.  It is simply my choice.  My reasons 
are sound.  Such a request must be based on that which 
is, not on that which may be at some time in the future.  
Therefore, I request that my application for Kup'es 
Ma'toi be granted."

There was a moment of silence during which time the 
elder seemed to be considering his request.  "Indeed, I 
can find no flaw in your logic.  I shall present your 
request to T'Sai.   Should it be granted, do you have a 
preference for location?"

"Ah, Osu.  I request to be left in a place I knew in my 
youth.  The Cave of the Tai'la.  It is a remote area that 
bears only the remnants of ancient ruins.  It is 
unpopulated and infrequently visited.  It is free from 
carnivorous animals and has pools of water in which to 
cool myself.  It will serve to shield me from the hot 
winds and allow me to pass through all that I must, 
unimpeded and unhindered."

The elder nodded.  "A logical choice.  Will you wish to 
transfer your katra?"

"I will not."

The elder nodded his understanding.  "You shall await 
the decision of T'Sai."

"Th'i-oxalra, Osu."  The acolyte nodded his 
appreciation.  When the elder had left him, he grasped 
his midsection and doubled over.  It had taken all the 
strength he could find within him to stave off the 
burning while he made his case.  He only had to wait.  
If he were granted his request, he would leave this 
place.  If he were denied, an attendant--not one of his 
choosing--would be brought to him.  He would have 
no power to resist.  He would mate.  If it were not one 
with whom he felt a kinship, he would be unable to 
release that in his mind which was necessary.  It would 
only serve to sustain his life.  Insanity, permanent and 
irrevocable, would certainly be the outcome.

His body began to ache for release.  It was too soon to 
give in to what it called for.  Soon there would be no 
ability to resist.  Once control was relinquished, there 
would be no peace.  He pushed back the urgent need 
and began to concentrate on the hour.  The exchange 
had lasted four minutes.  Eighty hours, twenty-one 
minutes was the time left to him, after which he would 
be either dead or kae'amp.  Death he could accept, 
insanity he could not.

With difficulty, he regained his posture.  He stared into 
the never-changing glow of the firepot set before him.  
Silently, he began to chant, and contemplate, the 
Doctrine of Surak.

'Do no harm.  Harm speeds up the death of the 
universe, and indirectly, your own.'  

'The spear in the other's heart is the spear in your own.'

'Cast out fear.  Cast out hate and rage.  Cast out greed 
and envy.  Cast out all emotion that speeds entropy, 
whether it be love or hate.  Cast out these emotions by 
using reason to accept them, and then move past them.'

'Wide experience increases wisdom, provided 
experience is not sought solely for the stimulation of 
sensation.'

'Do no harm to those who harm you.  Offer them 
peace, and offer them peace again, and do it until you 
die.'

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, 
or the one."  

The one.  The gold-green eyes of the bright one.  There 
had once been great love, and then great anger, that 
boiled in his blood with his memory.  No more.  The 
men who had once stood in the cold dampness upon 
that blue-green island no longer existed.  Indeed, they 
both still lived, for now, but they were no longer the 
same.  Neither did the love that had led to the offer of 
a bond, or the anger when hearing the refusal, exist 
any longer.  All that was left was, in accordance to the 
teachings of Surak, peace.  Others, those of lesser 
understanding, would call it emptiness.

The kep sounded the mid-day meal.  It could not be.  It 
must be.  The ringing of the kep was a constant.  Five 
hours and twelve minutes had past since his request 
had been made.  He must not allow himself to lose 
track of time again.  Time was all he had to hold on to.  
It was time that would see him through to the end.  
Seventy-six hours, nine minutes were left to him.

Despite the ache that was growing ever stronger, he 
forced himself to stem the anxiety that attempted to 
rise within him.  An answer would come.  Anxiety was 
illogical.  To give into it would not bring the answer 
sooner; however, he knew it would not be long before 
he would be unable to resist ripping the cloth from his 
body and attempting to satisfy the unrelenting hardness 
between his thighs.  It would, of course, be useless, but 
there would be no stopping the attempt.

He allowed his weight to shift slightly forward in an 
attempt to ease the discomfort.  It was not successful.  
He resumed his original position.  

He had been at this stage once before.  He had used 
surgical tape to strap his unrelenting erection to his 
abdomen, attempted to carry on with his duties, and 
had appealed for leave on his home planet.  His request 
had been denied.  He was optimistic that the request 
made this time would produce a more favorable 
outcome.

He must concentrate.  His thoughts had strayed from 
their purpose.  He was contemplating that which Surak 
had endowed upon his people.  Had he mentally 
explored the first five, or was it six?  He shook his 
head in a futile attempt to remember.

One hour and eight minutes later, the elder Vulcan 
returned.  He bowed.  "Spahkh, does thee still request 
Kup'es Ma'toi?"

"Yes, Oau," the acolyte replied.

"T'Sai has granted your request.  Follow me.  Your 
transport awaits."

Finding it difficult to stand, it took a moment before he 
was able to steel himself and followed the elder 
Kolinahru through the sacred halls to the gate that had 
not been breeched by him in over two years.  Outside 
sat a shuttle, the hatch open, a pilot waiting for his 
arrival.

"Spahkh, once 40 Eridani has past overhead six times, 
the shuttle shall return to retrieve that which is left.  
Know that yours is a life that will be remembered with 
honor."

"Most kind, Oau.  Live long and prosper."  He raised 
his fingers in the ta'al.
  
The elder Vulcan did the same.  There was no mention 
of a long life as he bid him his leave.  "May peace be 
your companion."

He did not look back as the shuttle left behind that 
place where he had spent these years.  Neither did he 
look forward toward that place of his destiny.  He only 
had to survive an additional seventy-four hours, forty-
two minutes.

(end of 1/2)



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