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Date: Wed, 7 Jan 2004 02:36:19 -0600
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW: TOS: "The Farther They Fall", Sa/m, K, S, Mc, U, [NC-17+] 3/6
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Continued from previous section...


PART 2 - Coming to Terms


Kirk awakened in the Enterprise sickbay on a diagnostic bed.  In the 
next bed over lay Sarek, sleeping or unconscious, but obviously 
alive from the readings above his head.  Movement caught his eye.  
He heard footsteps, and turned to discover Doctor McCoy, whose 
slight smile betrayed his concern.  

Kirk looked back over at Sarek. "Is he asleep?"

"More like half-conscious," McCoy said, his eyes glistening.

"How is he?  Kirk asked.

"Lucky to be alive," McCoy said.  "He's on heavy pain meds and 
sedated.  His head injury will keep him, at the very least, dizzy, 
groggy, and uncoordinated for awhile."

Kirk stared at him, obviously wanting more.

"A few seconds more without oxygen and his brain would have shut 
down irretrievably," McCoy said.  "It's a moderate head injury, but 
then Vulcans don't survive anything more serious." McCoy did not 
meet Kirk's gaze. "He has some serious internal injuries as well."

"Have you talked with him yet?" Kirk asked, hedging, hoping for some 
clue as to what McCoy knew without volunteering anything before he 
had a chance to talk to Sarek.

McCoy stared at Kirk for several seconds, then stared at Sarek and 
cocked an eyebrow.  "I know about the rape," he said quietly.  
McCoy's eyes warmed as he watched him.  Kirk realized the physical 
evidence for that would have been clear, especially with that level 
of violence.

McCoy continued, "He hasn't been conscious enough to be coherent.  
Anyway, I didn't feel it would be beneficial to his overall health 
to try questioning him about what I could discover on my own, and."  
He looked as if he regretted that last word, and looked away.

Kirk felt his insides twisting.  "And?"  He knew whatever McCoy held 
back wouldn't be good.

"I witnessed the assault," he said.  Then corrected, "We witnessed 
it."

Kirk paled at what they must have seen.

"We had the two locked gates to get through.  We couldn't blast them 
without attracting guards from the other sections, so we had to use 
a code-key generator.  It took about a minute or two."

Kirk thought back.  That had to be the entire time Sarek was being 
strangled and he shuddered.

Both McCoy and Kirk looked back to check on Sarek - still 
unconscious.

McCoy continued.  "I didn't think we'd make it in time, and to watch 
that monster do what he did while we stood helpless."  He closed his 
eyes.  "If that guard had not passed out, Sarek would be cooling in 
the morgue instead."

"I drugged him," Kirk said, now fitting in what must have 
happened, "but it took longer to act than I'd hoped."  So he wasn't 
impotent after all.  He did all he could do.  He just hoped it was 
enough.

"Quick enough to save his life," McCoy added to emphasize its 
importance.  "We just have to keep an eye on him to make sure his 
larynx doesn't swell closed."

"Who else saw?"  Kirk asked.  Then he swallowed, feeling his heart 
begin to pound.  "Not Spock!"

"No!  Thank God!"  McCoy said and looked as is he felt ill at the 
thought.  "Uhura was there."

Kirk swallowed hard.  Uhura had become close to both Sarek and 
Amanda.

"And Sulu, and a security detail.  They're all pretty shook up."

Kirk swallowed.  "Does Amanda know yet?"

"I didn't have the heart."  McCoy looked up and his eyes looked 
pained.  "She'd seen the head injury, and the gouge and bruises from 
the attempted strangulation and her knees gave out.  I sedated her."

Kirk couldn't help but wonder how they would tell her.



---ooOoo---



Spock stepped in not long after to update the captain before he was 
released.  Kirk noticed Spock's brief glance at his father, and had 
had years to learn to recognize the concern in his eyes.  He knew 
McCoy had given him the general information, but had left the worst 
to Jim.

Kirk was released and brought Spock to his cabin to talk.  He first 
poured himself a stiff scotch.

Spock refused the offer.  "I would rather just hear what you wanted 
to tell me privately." 

Kirk paused, his mind frozen at how best to begin.  "There is no 
easy way to tell you this," he stalled, realizing he sounded like a 
bad movie, but at least he had begun.

"Please, Jim," Spock prompted almost impatiently, then looked 
away.  "If my father is dying."

"No, God no," Kirk said.  "At least I don't think so.  I doubt it.  
I hope not.  No."  

Spock seemed to stare deep into his eyes as if he might net the 
answer from their depths.  "Rest assured, my father will always be 
taken care of, no matter what his mental state is," Spock said 
quietly.

Kirk realized Spock thought his father's head injury might be too 
devastating to recover from.  To be brain damaged, for a Vulcan, 
would be worse than death.

He realized that Spock had likely suffered more imagining the worst, 
so he just said it.  "Your father was sexually assaulted.  
Violently."  Kirk watched Spock for a reaction, but only got a 
firmer posture and a cooler expression.

"That would be the serious internal injuries the doctor referred 
to," Spock said, his head bowed as if considering.  "I had wondered 
how they had come about and why he did not specify."

"I'm sorry, Spock."

Spock looked up.  "As a diplomat, traveling throughout the galaxy to 
settle disputes, he has always been in a vulnerable position, if not 
a target.  It was always a possibility that I am sure he came to 
terms with long ago.  My father has gone through much in his many 
years in the Diplomatic Corps.  He is strong and resilient; he will 
overcome this unfortunate occurrence without undue emotionalism or 
indulgence, as he has others in the past."

Kirk felt immediate rage, but contained it.  He had attacked his 
First Officer before for precisely this cold analysis only to find 
it a front when dealing with what bothered him most.  He could not 
believe Spock could be so unaffected by his father's sexual 
assault.  Could Spock truly think his father was so impenetrable?  
He wondered how clearly Spock saw his father, instead of the 
paradoxical hero and tyrant he had envisioned as a child.  Kirk 
decided to handle it in a calmer fashion that might instill seeds of 
doubt so that Spock might consider offering support to his father 
and continue to deepen their understanding and support of one 
another.  

"I wonder," Kirk said, "if you don't have higher expectations of 
your father than he would ever consider expecting of you, Spock?"

Spock looked at him quizzically.

"He has feelings, and monumental pride, even though they are 
supposedly suppressed.  He takes comfort in your mother and worries 
about her constantly.  He also fears for your acceptance and 
contentment and is hurt by your distance.  I can't see how you can 
miss all of these things.  Did you ever stop to think that he might 
need you, even more than you need him?"  He stared hard at Spock.

Spock looked vaguely hurt and almost dumbfounded, then shifted and 
turned as if to reply, but Kirk cut him off.

"I don't want to hear any argument until you think hard about what I 
said.  And think about who you would actually be defending, if you 
were to argue this - your father, or yourself for your imagined 
archetype of a father."



---ooOoo---



As Kirk returned to sickbay hours later, Amanda stepped in looking 
sluggish and tearful.  She had obviously not waited to sleep off all 
of the sedative.  Kirk stepped over to her side.

"I want to see my husband again," she said quietly.

Kirk took her to him and since he had not had a good look himself 
since his arrival aboard, he stared at the ambassador.  The gouge 
about his neck was ugly and deep, bruises mottled much of the skin 
around it.  Kirk swallowed at the thought of how close Sarek had 
come; how he had lost consciousness likely assuming he would die 
while violated.

Amanda held her hands to her husband's face and kissed his lips 
lightly, then his forehead, then each cheek.  She traced the scar of 
dermal regeneration down his left temple where it met with abrasions 
and bruises and then more bruising around his jaw to his lips, 
swollen on the left side where the lip was split from being hit.  
She slipped her fingers slightly under the cover that ended just 
under his shoulders and paused, her fingers shaking.

Kirk snared them, and secured them between his hands.  He was 
thankful she could not see her husband's back as yet, or the 
significant damage from the violent rape.  A sheet of permaskin was 
generating new skin cells on his back in a thin layer between him 
and the bed.  Though Amanda hadn't noticed, her husband was actually 
suspended one quarter inch above the bed while the process was 
active, to relieve the pressure on the wounds and, therefore, also 
alleviate any pain from that pressure.

Her eyes were wet as she looked up into his.  She looked so frail 
and afraid, seeming a completely different person than when she 
stood smiling with Sarek by her side, gently teasing him, and always 
ready to rein him in.  "I want to see what else they've done to 
him."  Her voice cracked, and a tear slipped down her cheek.

"He's alive, and will be well again," Kirk promised, though not 
quite sure of that himself.  He reached to hug her, but she wouldn't 
allow it.

"You and the doctor need to get your stories straight."  She sounded 
angry.

Kirk was concerned now, but tried to hide it.  "What did he say?"  
He felt his stomach tighten, wondering if McCoy had been protecting 
him from the whole truth.

Amanda looked at him, confused.  "He said there are a lot of ifs 
with head wounds and asphyxia, especially with Vulcans, but that 
things don't look nearly as bad as they could be."

Not terribly reassuring, Kirk thought.

"I am going to ask him to quit the Diplomatic Corps.  No, I am going 
to make him quit.  He's a brilliant and gifted man; he could do 
almost anything else."  Her voice caught.  "I never thought I would 
do that to him.but."

Kirk swallowed.  There seemed to be no end to Sarek's miseries from 
this.  "You need to give yourselves some time before making any 
decisions."

"Oh, Jim, you don't know how many close calls he's had.  How many 
times I'd thought he was dead.  How many times he was held captive 
and, God knows what was done to him."  

Kirk swallowed at this, realizing he was complicit even now in 
withholding the truth from her.

She took a shuddering breath and continued.  "Every time I hear a 
loud noise, I think that it's an explosive device and I have to 
think of where he is and if he's still alive!"  She sucked in a deep 
breath to stop her shuddering, "Twice I heard on the news that my 
husband was assassinated.  Can you imagine how that feels?"

Kirk reached for her and she let him hold her now.  She felt even 
smaller in his arms as she continued, "They showed his limo 
exploding only a year after we were married.  I was visiting my 
parents; he was on his way there.  My father almost had a heart 
attack seeing that.  But the bomb had mis-signaled.  The driver was 
killed instantly.  Sarek had just stepped out less than five minutes 
before."

They heard a faint noise from Sarek and both turned and stepped 
toward him.  His eyes looked foggy still, but they seemed to focus 
on Amanda, and concern was clear in them.

Amanda picked up his hand and held it tight as she leaned close.  
Kirk stood just behind her, watching Sarek closely.

He seemed to be fighting to keep his eyes open.  He struggled to 
speak, whispering something so softly, neither could hear.  Amanda 
leaned close.  Kirk leaned in behind her.  "Are you well, beloved?" 
he whispered so very quietly, straining even to get that out.

"Yes, my love," Amanda said.  "How are you, sweetheart?"

To this Sarek allowed a slight smile, and whispered, "Tired." and 
his eyes slipped closed again.  Amanda kissed him softly on the lips 
again, then turned to Kirk and kissed him on the cheek.  "I think 
he's going to be all right, with time."

Kirk left them, closing the door to the private room and went to 
visit with McCoy.  He had only been there ten minutes when Amanda 
burst into the office, surprising them both so that McCoy slopped 
coffee over his most recent report.

"It appears you've left out some details regarding my husband," 
Amanda said, her voice darker than they'd ever heard it.  It was 
immediately clear why Sarek seemed to avoid her wrath.

McCoy and Kirk traded concerned glances.

"He'd been having trouble sleeping."  Amanda started, still glaring.

McCoy interrupted, "That's to be expected, with a head injury and 
the drugs."

"Being his wife, I took the prerogative of trying to help him 
relax."  Her eyebrows rose as her eyes darkened further.

McCoy got the gist immediately and stared at his coffee.  He'd had 
Sarek in sickbay for more than a week after his heart operation and 
he knew exactly what she meant.  She had asked then if it would be 
safe to help her husband relax through "gentle manipulation" - a 
hand job or fellatio he had gathered when she had winked and 
smiled.  

When he had assured her it would be safe, she frequently visited to 
relax her husband.  After her visits, Sarek had slept like a baby.  
It was certainly safer and healthier than the additional drugs it 
would have taken, and had provided a further workout, besides the 
regimen he had prescribed, to strengthen his repaired heart.  It had 
also seemed to keep them very close and their spirits up as he 
recovered.

Kirk stared at her, confused.

"We were going to tell you soon," McCoy said softly.

"Not soon enough!  When I reached between his legs, he nearly jumped 
off the bed, and he can barely move on his own."  Her pain reached 
her voice and mixed with her anger.  "In over forty years of 
marriage, my husband has never once refused me intimate relations.  
Until now."

Kirk understood finally and felt saddened that Amanda had to find 
out that way.

McCoy cleared his throat and set his coffee down.  "There was a 
sexual assault."

"Obviously!"  Her anger rocketed back with a vengeance.  "Perhaps if 
I'd known, I wouldn't have added to his trauma just now!"

"I'm sorry," McCoy said, "but we were concerned for you, too.  We 
thought it best not to burden you with too much at once."

Amanda's eyes lit up.  "I don't even allow THAT from my husband, as 
you well know!  How dare you!  He was attacked and I need every 
detail so that I can piece him back together."

"Yes, ma'am," McCoy said.

Amanda glared at Kirk, who couldn't meet her eyes.  "You knew, too, 
didn't you!"

Kirk swallowed as he caught her glare.  "Yes, ma'am."  He had heard 
that Sarek and Amanda had had some firestorms of fights.  Now he 
believed it.  She looked ready to tear him to shreds with her bare 
hands.

"I want every detail of what happened, in case my husband decides to 
block any memories from me and become 'creative' with the truth 
again."  Her sarcasm was scathing.

McCoy nodded.

"I also want to view all evidentiary and documentation holos taken, 
both public and confidential."

McCoy's eyebrows rose into his hairline.  "Now wait just a minute!"

Kirk felt shock at the thought that she would see crystal clear 3-
dimensional images of all of her husband's injuries.  By law, since 
Sarek had been representing the Federation, holos of any and all 
injuries received during a mission were taken immediately upon his 
arrival to sickbay and then again after being cleaned for a clearer 
view of the damage.  This included the anal/rectal damage, external 
and internal, that had to be taken.  Kirk couldn't even bring 
himself to look at them, though as captain, he was supposed to.

Amanda's eyes turned icy.  "Federation law cannot pre-empt Vulcan 
law in matters of privacy, Doctor.  Vulcan required that contingency 
before their acceptance of admission to the Federation.  Since my 
husband is Vulcan, this applies to us.  The Vulcan Privacy Code 
allows a husband no privacy from his wife with regard to medical 
records due to the dangers and lack of judgment brought on by pon 
farr, but I believe you know that."

It was a twisted irony, Kirk realized, that the Vulcan Privacy Code, 
used as a shield innumerable times by Sarek to protect his privacy, 
was now being used as a sword against him by his own wife.  It would 
kill Sarek to find out Amanda had seen those holos.

Just because she could, would she actually view them?  And if she 
did, would she actually tell Sarek?  She had become ferocious in 
guarding his health without regard for his privacy, but Kirk didn't 
believe she would actually take advantage of or hurt her husband 
unnecessarily, unless perhaps out of anger should he try to hide 
something else from her or casually risk his health or life in some 
way.

Kirk noticed McCoy took a breath to calm himself before responding 
to her shocking request.  His face had reddened, his eyes 
steely.  "Propriety would require a wife would request the viewing 
of confidential images of her husband in the rare circumstances 
where the viewing is necessary.  That privilege is extended even to 
young children."

"Doctor, did you think Sarek could withhold that he'd had heart 
attacks from me without effect or sanction.  He lost that privilege 
when he did so."  Her voice was calm, but the anger behind the words 
stunned Kirk.  This was a side of Amanda he had never imagined.

She had obviously not forgiven Sarek for not telling her of his 
previous heart attacks, and would use it as a weapon to afford her 
better leverage in protecting his health and safety.  Kirk had to 
wonder then what she had meant when she said she would "make him" 
quit the Diplomatic Corps.  What else might Sarek have given up to 
appease his wife for his earlier withholding of information?

Kirk had heard that T'Pring had lost her status as an equal to her 
new husband Stonn due to invoking the challenge upon one other than 
her chosen, thereby risking "innocents" to protect her desired 
intended.  She had in essence become Stonn's property because of 
that.  Though Kirk detested the woman, the thought of someone 
becoming the property of another made him nauseous.

For such a seemingly sophisticated and advanced society as modern 
Vulcan was, sometimes their completely unorthodox and unexpected 
wrinkles tied to ancient ways caught Kirk off guard.  He had to 
wonder if somehow Sarek had lessoned his status as compared to his 
wife, if somehow she gained a power over him to make choices he 
would normally never concede.

Vulcan was a matriarchal society, Kirk remembered, and in essence, 
those in power take that power for themselves more often than not.  
He knew that during pon farr, a male could refuse absolutely nothing 
to his wife.  Yet a wife, by law, could refuse even her body to her 
husband during his Time and thereby force him to endure a death 
that, Kirk had heard, was the most painful in, at least, known 
history.  Kingdoms had changed hands as wives watched husbands 
writhe in agony, slip into insanity, and die.  Sarek's most recent 
pon farr had been quite recent, less than a year after the journey 
to Babel, and they had ended up on the Enterprise.  Kirk remembered 
that crisis all too well.  Could Amanda have forced him to give up 
certain rights then?

There was much Kirk didn't know about Vulcan society so full of 
bizarre contrasts and seeming oxymoron's, like the peaceful people 
surrounded by deadly weapons ready for use at every ceremony and 
gathering.  There was really no way to know what Amanda might hold 
over him, perhaps nothing but his incredible devotion or a 
significant promise in a vulnerable moment unconnected to pon farr.  
Kirk decided that he must try to warn Sarek of what his wife knew, 
before he had the chance to worsen her trust in him even further and 
likely force her to view the holos and even to tell him she had 
viewed them.

Amanda continued, "And I want a full psychological evaluation.  
Again, being the wife of a Vulcan, I am allowed full disclosure."

Kirk grimaced.  He didn't believe that Sarek would be happy about 
that, either.  McCoy looked sad and shook his head.  Vulcans viewed 
psychological exams as an indignity if done voluntarily, a disgrace 
if forced upon them, likened to being locked up in an insane asylum 
for a human - a questioning of their essence as a Vulcan.

Amanda sat down and looked expectant.  Though they tried to soften 
the details, they told her everything.  She looked vacant and numb, 
though she said she was fine.  McCoy called Uhura to come spend time 
with her, and watch her.  None of them wanted to burden Sarek with 
her reactions to all she had learned.

While they awaited Uhura, McCoy tried to head off another 
disaster.  "Amanda, now that you know everything, well, I couldn't 
help overhearing about what you'd said to Jim about the Diplomatic 
Corps."

Amanda looked up at him.  "Already marshalling your defense of 
him?"  She didn't sound angry, but she eyed the doctor and then Kirk 
with suspicion nonetheless.  "Had my husband the faculties for it 
since.his injuries. I would think he'd been lobbying all of you, or 
is it his soft-spoken nature and seeming vulnerability that garners 
all of this sympathy?" 

McCoy looked saddened.  "No, it's not my business, I admit that.  I 
just hoped that you would let Sarek recover before laying that on 
him."

Amanda almost smiled.  "I love my husband too much to hurt him when 
he's down.  I'll wait until he's formidable again before starting 
that round.  You see, Doctor, both my husband and I are wolves in 
sheep's clothing, and we each would protect the other to the bitter 
end.  Do you not think he would be this aggressive, if not more so, 
if he thought my life depended on it?"  She arched an eyebrow at 
them, so like her husband did that it took some of the sting away.

After the short, truncated blow-out at Sarek on the journey to Babel 
after his and their son's teasing of her, Kirk had realized she was 
no shrinking violet, but he didn't realize she was such a force to 
be reckoned with.  Kirk smiled but felt unnerved by the boxing 
metaphors and the realization that this woman was formidable herself 
and could be calculating and even ruthless.

It made him respect Sarek even more to fathom that they had made it 
through forty years together.  To think Kirk had first thought of 
her as only a trophy wife unveiled a shocking dichotomy.  He 
wondered how many underestimated her, and how many paid dearly for 
that mistake.  He was not surprised by the fact that Sarek generally 
referred to himself and his wife as a diplomatic team.

Continued in next section...




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