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Date: Wed, 24 Mar 2004 20:15:01 -0600
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW TOS The Little Nerd [PG] (K/S) 1/1
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Title: The Little Nerd

Author: Saavant

Contact: saavaant @ yahoo.com

Series: TOS 

Rating: PG

Codes: K/S

Part: 1/1

Summary: This weird semi-AU came into my head the
was, once more, staggering home in high heels that had
blistered my feet beyond recognition, and somehow I
couldn't get Hans Christian Andersen out of my head.
There's an explanation at the end of the story.

Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom owns 'em. I don't, and I
can't profit monetarily from writing about them. 

Archive: Anywhere, long as you let me know

 

----- 

 

At Starfleet Academy there were many brilliant young
chemists, biologists and all manner of budding
scientists, happily immersed in their preparations for
life aboard space-faring vessels. Their world was a
delightful one, full of the joy of discovery and
invention. In the chemistry lab, diverse substances
reacted together and brought forth heat or scent or
brightly hued bubbles, or were held over flames and
burned in every color of the rainbow. In the biology
lab, fascinating creatures from all over the quadrant
were carefully studied and observed, to learn all the
myriad variations of the great circle of life. And in
every class, the students formed a deep connection
with their professors, born of the joyful experience
of gaining new and exciting knowledge from a truly
brilliant person-- for only brilliant people could
teach at Starfleet Academy. 

One of the cleverest young scientists was Spock, the
son of the Vulcan ambassador. He had the highest
computer rating in his class, he had already devised
several very insightful biological and chemical
theories of his own, he could do complicated math
problems in his head in instants, and he never forgot
a word he read or heard. 

To top it off, he was very attractive in his own
unusual way... shining dark hair, delicately pointed
ears, angular features, and a remarkable deep voice
that seemed somehow both rough and smooth at the same
time. The other scientists admired his voice most of
all, because it had given them so many fascinating
presentations in class, and participated with them in
so many lively discussions about the brilliant ideas
that churned within that sleek dark head. 

----- 

Scientists like Spock, however, were not the only
students at Starfleet Academy. There were others in
different areas of study, and they, somewhat more than
the scientists, tended to go to football games and
parties, and dance and drink and spend the nights with
people they hardly knew. Mostly they were polite to
the scientists, but they socialized more with each
other, and every once in a long while, one of them
would make a rude comment. Someone on command track
had once called Spock a "little nerd." 

Yet Spock was fascinated by this campus subculture as
he was fascinated by all unfamiliar things, and
finally, overcome by curiosity, he set out to study
it. 

There were many places on the Academy campus where
students could rest or talk or study, but the Robert
April Lounge was the most frequented by the people
Spock was interested in observing. It had a pool table
and several other games, and groups of students could
often be seen there discussing sports and social
events. When Spock entered that afternoon, several
groups had already formed. Spock found a comfortable
chair and settled in to watch. 

No sooner had he begun his observations than a great
swarm of lively students burst in, talking all at
once. "So what does it feel like to be twenty-one?"
giggled one voice. "What time is the big party
tonight?" queried another. It was soon quite clear
that one of the group was having a birthday. 

Before long, Spock ascertained which it was. At the
center of the crowd was a human who looked as if he
were made out of pure vitality. He was not
particularly tall, nor especially slender-- but his
smiles and laughs and gestures illuminated his
pink-and-gold skin and blond hair and hazel eyes until
he shone like a small sun. 

And something happened that Spock had made no plans
for whatsoever. 

He fell in love. 

------ 

Unable to move, the young scientist sat gazing at the
object of his sudden desire. His mind, almost as a
reflex, continued to collect bits of data from the
other students' ongoing comments: The young man's name
was Jim. He was taking command track courses and hoped
to be captain of a starship. He lived in the John
Glenn dormitory building. He did not appear to have a
current love interest, but he had had several before
and was expected to have many more. 

"Who are you taking to that big dance at the end of
the semester?" one of his companions asked. 

"I don't know. It's kind of far off to predict
something like that, isn't it?" Jim said with a
charming smile, setting his backpack down on a low
table near Spock's chair. "Anything could happen." 

"With you, yeah, just about anything," laughed another
friend. 

"I'm bored. How about a game of pool?" said another,
starting to slide her credit chip into the slot in the
billiard table. 

Jim grinned. "Great idea. Just what I'd been thinking.
Wait, I'll pay for it." He reached into his pocket for
his own credit chip, and then let out a forceful
curse. 

"It's not here. I must have lost it." 

"Lost your credit chip?" 

"Oh, that sucks." 

"What a crappy thing to have happen on your birthday."


"Where did you have it last?" 

"I don't know. I paid for lunch with it just a few
hours ago." 

"What did you do after lunch?" 

"Watched the game, over there." said Jim, gesturing to
the holovid in the corner of the lounge. 

"Where were you sitting?" 

Jim pointed at the empty armchair beside Spock's. "I
suppose it could have fallen out of my pocket there...
but no, it's not there now." 

"Do you suppose someone might have stolen it?" 

"I don't know. Darn it!" Jim began to pace back and
forth. 

As Jim's friends clustered around him, offering advice
and speculations, Spock leaned over and examined the
chair beside him. Indeed, the credit chip was not on
the seat, or on the floor nearby, or... 

A speck of color caught the Vulcan's eye in between
the cushion and the arm of the chair. Reaching for it,
his suspicion was confirmed: what he pulled out of
that hidden space was definitely a credit chip,
labeled with the name "James T. Kirk" and a picture of
the same young man's face. 

What to do? Spock had to give the chip to its rightful
owner, and soon; he could not bear the thought of
James Kirk continuing to be unhappy. But he was
altogether too shy, especially amid his newfound
emotions, to cry out "I found it!" and draw all these
people's attention to himself. 

And there was Jim's backpack, on the table in front of
him. As quickly as possible, Spock leaned forward and
shoved the chip into a small outer pocket of the
canvas bag, and then hastily returned to his original
position, glancing around furtively to ascertain
whether anyone had seen him. 

At first he was sure that no one had... but then,
startled by a movement, he turned around to look out
the window that gave the lounge a view of the hallway.
And out there, for a second, he was sure he saw a
girl's face watching him. 

He was not mistaken. Moments later, a pretty blonde
entered the lounge, and dexterously worked her way
into the conversation about the missing credit chip. 

"Are you sure you didn't misplace it?" she said,
batting her eyes at James Kirk. "Maybe you put it in
your backpack or someplace without thinking. I know
that's happened to me a few times." 

"I'm *sure* I didn't," murmured Jim, but it seemed he
wasn't absolutely certain, because he picked up his
backpack from the table and began going through its
pockets. "Not here... not here... not... Wait, here it
is!" 

The credit chip in his hand, he broke into a grateful
smile. "Thank you so much! You're a genius. What's
your name?" 

"Ruth. And you're Jim; I've heard all about you." The
look they exchanged made a very dark expression creep
across Spock's face. 

"I haven't met you before. What building do you live
in?" 

"I live off campus; I just come here for a few hours
each day for classes. I'm majoring in communications.
In fact--" She looked at her watch. "Darn it, I have
to go. Class starts in a few minutes. I'll see you
later, though, okay?" Dashing out the door, she smiled
at Kirk again, and he watched her out of sight with an
answering smile that made Spock turn his eyes away in
jealousy. 

----- 

Spock observed James T. Kirk as much as he could for
the next few weeks, and he was reasonably sure that
Jim and Ruth had not found another opportunity to meet
yet. The girl seemed to be as busy as she claimed;
days went by without Spock catching so much as a
glimpse of her. But Jim often mentioned her wistfully
to his friends, expressing admiration for her beauty
and kindness, and wondering aloud when he would see
her again. The big dance got closer and closer, and
Jim was often heard to say that he wished he could
take Ruth to it. The words made Spock's heart ache,
and whenever he heard them, his hands clenched and his
lips pressed tight until he could force himself to
relax. 

One day, as he sat in his usual armchair watching Jim
leave the lounge, a dark-eyed girl with long earrings
and heavy lipstick sidled up to him and sat down in
the next chair. "Why don't you just ask him out?" she
sneered. 

"To whom are you referring?" said Spock icily, trying
not to meet her eyes. 

"You know dang well. Why don't you? It's not like he'd
beat you up for asking. Everyone knows he's dated as
many guys as girls. Quit being a chicken." 

"I am not a 'chicken,'" Spock protested. "But I am
both a Vulcan and a... a nerd. I have no experience
interacting socially with people like him. He would
find me, at best, laughable." 

"Well, if you don't start somewhere, you'll never
*learn,*" the girl said impatiently. "Tell you what.
I've got a friend who can teach you everything. He can
be really mean when he feels like it-- heck, he's a
real witch sometimes-- but he knows *all* about social
stuff. When you've had a few lessons from him, you'll
know just how to dress, how to talk-- and how to pick
up guys." The young woman gave him a crude grin. "His
name's Mac. I'll introduce you to him if you like." 

----- 

In a small downtown cafe, sitting across the table
from an utterly disagreeable young man and barely
hearing either of their voices over the pounding of
the music, Spock wondered how he had gotten into this
situation. An hour earlier, Mac had instructed him to
put on jeans and a t-shirt so tight that he felt
naked, and then had practically drowned him in
hairspray and cologne. Even the shoes Mac had made him
wear were uncomfortable, and he already had blisters
from walking in them. Now he was receiving a lesson in
social interaction, and that, in its own way, was even
worse. 

"And most of all, *quit talking.* Hot guys like Jim
don't want to hear you go on for-freaking-ever about
your new theory of parallel evolution on the planet
Zorb, or whatever. If you want him to like you, what
you have to do is listen to *him.* You only open your
mouth to ask him little questions to look interested
in what he says, or maybe give him a compliment once
in a while." 

At Spock's stunned look, Mac patted him on the
shoulder and laughed condescendingly. "I mean it.
Because as soon as he hears something nerdy out of
you, he's gonna wonder why he started talking to you
in the first place, and once you get started on one of
your long science lectures, it's *over.* If he wanted
to hear about the heat death of the universe for two
hours, he'd enroll in Quantum Physics 399. You know
what they say, it's better to keep your mouth shut and
look stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." 

Spock narrowed his eyes. He had already given up his
comfortable clothes and shoes; assaulted his senses
with offensive-smelling cosmetic chemicals... and now
his voice was to be taken from him as well? 

Then he gave a sigh of resignation. If what it brought
him was Jim, any price was worth paying. 

----- 

"Go on," said Mac, pushing Spock toward the door of
Jim's room, behind which the sounds of a party could
be distinctly heard. "Just knock on the door. He won't
kick you out; it's not like you have to have a printed
invitation for a thing like this. Just remember
everything I told you. Listen to him. Ask him
questions. Give him compliments. And if he really
likes you, he'll ask you to the dance next week. If he
goes with someone else, it means you're not his type,
and you might as well go back to being a nerd. But
believe me, it's worth a try." 

Spock stepped forward, his lungs fighting to breathe
amid the stench of his cologne and hair spray,
blisters sending shooting pain through his feet inside
the uncomfortable shoes. He gathered all his courage
together, and knocked. 

A moment passed, and then another. Then, finally, the
door opened, and the young scientist was looking into
the face of the man he loved. 

There was a heartbeat of tense silence, and then Jim's
face broke into a glowing smile. "Hi! Wow, you look
nice. Do I know you? Never mind, come on in.
Everyone's welcome. What's your name?" 

Entering the room, Spock introduced himself in as few
words as possible, as he had been taught, and quickly
turned the conversation to Jim. The young command
track student talked happily about his memories of the
past, his plans for the future, and the current events
of his life at Starfleet Academy. Spock's small
questions encouraged his engaging monologue, and the
Vulcan found he was enjoying listening to Jim in spite
of himself. 

"But I've been talking too much," the human finally
said with a laugh. "Tell me about you." 

"There is not much to tell," Spock said, quietly
controlling the urge to bring up any of the subjects
he enjoyed discussing. "You are a far more interesting
conversationalist than I am." 

"Oh, come on. You must have lots of great things to
talk about." 

"Nothing that would interest you," Spock murmured, and
Jim could not make him say any more. 

----- 

The party went well-- at least, Spock did not think he
made any social mistakes that would completely
alienate Jim Kirk, and when he finally became tired
and went back to his dorm, Jim bade him goodbye with a
friendly handshake and an invitation to go out for
dinner the next night with a group of his friends. 

For the next several days, Jim and Spock got together
frequently. They went out to dinner; went out dancing
at nightclubs; went to movies. Jim taught Spock to
play pool and various card games. Spock taught Jim
some of the Vulcan language, and volunteered an
occasional bit of information about his homeworld, but
whenever he was pressed to say more about himself, he
changed the subject. 

He was sure that the only thing that made him
attractive to Kirk was the fashionable appearance Mac
had given him, so whenever he went to meet his new
friend, he was sure to cover himself in cologne, slick
his hair back and spray it, and wear the tight clothes
and the horrible shoes Mac had made him buy. 

When he walked beside Jim on the way to a restaurant,
or danced beside him in a discotheque, sharp arrows of
pain shot through his feet constantly, as if he were
walking on knife-blades. But he endured it, using
every Vulcan pain control method he knew, and forcing
his face not to betray his discomfort. 

Nevertheless, just being with Jim was enough to keep
him happy. When he felt overcome by the wish to
discuss a new scientific discovery he had made, he
reminded himself that it would make Jim reject him,
and remaining silent suddenly seemed like heaven. When
he felt tempted to curse the uncomfortable things he
was wearing, he told himself that they were keeping
Jim by his side, and the thought filled him with
gratitude. His greatest wish now was for Jim to ask
him to the dance, which was now within a few days. 

----- 

But one cloudy afternoon, his worst fear came to pass.


He and Jim had met in a cafe for lunch, and the human
was sunnier and more golden than ever, laughing and
grinning at every opportunity. At first, Spock was
simply content to bask in that radiance, but soon
curiosity overcame his happiness. 

"Jim," he commented, "you seem unusually cheerful
today." 

"I am," laughed Jim. "My dream's come true, Spock.
Ruth said she'd go to the dance with me!" 

Heat and cold lanced through the scientist's body, and
he bowed his head and forced all his control
techniques upon himself. "Congratulations," he finally
managed to say. 

"She'd been really busy for a few weeks, but now she's
finally gotten her big project done for Communications
202, and she showed up at the party in Armstrong Hall
last night. We talked for hours, Spock. We found so
many things to say. She told me all about the trip she
took to Risa last year, and the interplanetary
exchange students who stayed with her family when she
was a freshman, and... oh, she's such a great
conversationalist. You'll love her, Spock. I'll have
to introduce you to her." 

"I am happy for you," Spock mumbled, still looking
down at the table, realizing that Jim was too excited
about his new love interest to notice that Spock was
not at all happy. 

"Thank you, Spock. You're a great friend, you know
that? You're always there to listen to me." He paused
suddenly, as if remembering something. "Listen, I have
to go. I've got a study date with Ruth in an hour. See
you later, okay?" 

----- 

"What's wrong, Spock?" 

The young Vulcan looked up from the chemistry book
he'd been sightlessly staring at. The lounge of the
science building was almost empty at this time of
night, but apparently his old friend Monty had decided
to "pull an all-nighter" with his technical journals. 

"Come on, lad, what is it? You look miserable," Monty
pressed. "What's happened? Did something go wrong with
that Jim of yours?" 

Spock tossed the book onto a coffee table. "He is
going to the dance with someone named Ruth. He first
became interested in her because she helped him find
something. Even that interest was misplaced. He does
not know that I was more responsible for it than she."


A concerned but confused expression crossed Monty's
face. "Say again?" 

And Spock told him all about the day when he had found
Jim's credit chip. When he finished, his friend gave
him a thoughtful look. 

"Seems to me," he said, "that you have something you
can use against her. By all appearances, she was quite
aware that you were the one Jim should've been
thanking-- she saw you put the thing in his knapsack,
and she used that to make him like her instead of you.
She played a dirty trick on the both of you. Seems to
me that if you told Jim she did that, he'd not like
her any more." 

Spock pondered for a moment, wide-eyed. Was it
possible? Could he go and tell Jim everything that had
happened that first day... would his friend then leave
Ruth, and finally make his connection with Spock into
something more than friendship? 

Hope rose up for a moment within him, and then sank.
No, it would not work. Jim would probably not believe
him. If he did, it would only make him angry-- angry
at Ruth and angry at Spock for spoiling his new love. 

And even if it made him leave Ruth for Spock... would
that truly be better for Jim, or worse? After all, Jim
had said he loved to listen to Ruth talk about her
life... that it was her skill in conversation that
truly attracted him. 

Suddenly, it was clear to Spock that he was no mate
for Jim. Jim not only loved to talk, he loved to
listen. He could not be happy with someone who did not
make his own fair share of the conversation. And if
Spock were to talk about his life and the things that
interested him, Jim would realize that Spock was a
hopeless nerd, and simply laugh at him. It must be
true; Mac had said so, and Mac knew all about social
life. 

Spock looked at Monty, and slowly shook his head. 

And when Jim went with Ruth to the dance that weekend,
Spock was there with his most sincere-sounding
congratulations. 

----- 

"But the story had a happy ending, after all," said
Jim, smiling across the chessboard at the man who was
now his first officer and bondmate. "We were both such
little idiots. All I ever had to do was notice that
you were in love with me, and all you ever had to do
was be yourself... but it never occurred to us, did
it? Thank goodness we wound up on the same starship." 

"Indeed." Spock's eyes sparkled with controlled
laughter. "The position of science officer has been
most conducive to 'being myself.' I could not very
well be expected to show up at the science station
dressed in that excruciating outfit." 

Jim burst out laughing. "I can just imagine you... no,
I'd rather not. But I was such an imbecile to fall for
Ruth. You know, I had only known her a couple months
before I realized she'd never make a decent
communications officer. Great at making conversation,
but not a bit of sense in her head. I wonder what
became of her." 

Spock raised an eyebrow. 

Kirk responded with his brightest smile. "But I've
been talking too much. Tell me about yourself." 

And as Spock's fingers settled onto Jim's face in the
intimacy of bonded melding, no words were needed. 

--- 

END 

--- 

In Hans Christian Andersen's story "The Little
Mermaid," the title character fell in love with a
human prince when she went for the first time to see
the world above the surface of the ocean. When the
prince's ship sank, she rescued him and brought him to
shore, where he was found later by another woman whom
he saw only briefly before she left for parts unknown.
Thinking that woman had saved him, he devoted his life
to trying to find her so that he could marry her. 

Meanwhile, under the ocean, the mermaid was so
desperate with love for the prince that she went to a
sea witch for help. The witch cast a spell that
allowed the mermaid to have a human body, although her
feet would hurt almost unbearably whenever she walked
on land. In exchange for this, she had to give up her
voice. And if the prince married someone else instead
of her, the spell would break and the mermaid would
turn into sea foam. 

She agreed to all this and went to live on land, where
the prince found her and took her in. She lived with
the prince for a long time, and won his friendship,
but not his love. Eventually he found the woman he
thought had rescued him, and they were married. 

The mermaid's sisters came to shore and called to her,
saying that they had made a bargain with the sea
witch: if the little mermaid would kill the prince and
his new wife, she could become a mermaid again instead
of turning into sea foam. But she loved the prince too
much to do that, so she turned into sea foam anyway.
As a reward for this, her soul was given the chance to
go to heaven. 

I think heaven, for Spock, is being on the Enterprise
with Jim. 



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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