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To: "ASCEM-S" <ASCEM-S@yahoogroups.com>
From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Date: Sun, 16 May 2004 20:47:29 -0500
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW 1/1 Top Ten Complaints... PG 13 (TOS, TNG, DS9, VOY) J/C, G/B, K/?, Wes/?, humor
Reply-To: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Title: Top Ten Complaints Received by Holosuite Technicians
Author: Elizabeth Helena 
Series: All except ENT, unless staring at Jeri Ryan's breasts makes 
Mr. Braga forget continuity again.  
Codes: J/C, G/B, K/?, Wes/?, ad infinitum, humour?  
Rating: PG-13 
Summary: Dedicated to all of the kind people who answered my mud-

Top Ten Complaints Received by Holosuite Technicians 


10. Holo-Janeway won't put out, and Holo-Chakotay still isn't wooden 
enough. 

9. Holo-Kirk gave me the clap when the safeties failed.

8. Not enough mud-wrestling yeomans in the latest release 
of "Captain's Orgy: Doin' It Old School."  

7. Holo-Garak and Holo-Bashir spent all of their time arguing over 
literature. 

6. Somebody overwrote my perfectly logical security program with "The 
Best of Klingon Death Match IV: Songs of the Great Tribble Hunt."  

5. Caught Wesley Crusher trying to get laid by pretending to be a 
holo-character again. 

4. Holosuite emitters wore out halfway through my Pon Farr.  

3. Holosuite computer keeps interrupting my program to inform 
me "that's not how Master Barclay likes it."

2. One of the mud-wrestling yeomans in "Captain's Orgy: Doin' It Old 
School" bore a disturbing resemblance to Wesley Crusher.  

And the number one complaint received by holosuite technicians: 

1.  Vic Fontaine.  





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