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From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Date: Sat, 1 May 2004 10:12:57 -0500
Subject: [ASCEM-S] New ENT - Mood Swing - 19/? PG-13 (T/Tu)
Reply-To: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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TITLE:       Mood Swing - (19/?)
AUTHOR:      Sue
E-MAIL:      susieqla@yahoo.com
SERIES:      Enterprise
PART:        19
RATING:      PG-13
STATUS:      WIP
CODES:       T/Tu
CATEGORY:    Angst/Friendship/Could Even Be Love...
SPOILERS:    Harbinger, The Forgotten
ARCHIVE:     Yes
DISCLAIMER:  Enterprise is the property of Paramount and its 
subsidiaries. No profit is being made.
SUMMARY:     Trip POV, missing scenes...


Mood Swing - Part 19


T'Pol Redux



After my head stopped spinnin', and the realization hit me that T'Pol 
was touchin' me, I latched onto her hand like it was a lifeline she 
extended, and now that I think about it, that's exactly what it was. 
T'Pol and I connected like never before, and it was so much more than 
when she gave her body to me. Make no mistake, I loved the aggressive 
way she took charge and made sure I got the message she wanted me. 
And boy, I bit, hook, line and sinker; as long as I live, I'll never 
forget her and the fineness she is.

But, how she reached out to me a little while ago...I can't explain 
it...it just felt like she was really there this time, carin' about 
me, wantin' to be a comfort as though her life depended upon it. 
She's never done that before. There wasn't anythin' sterile or 
business as usual about her when she made it clear how much she 
wanted to be there for me. My pain was hers.

I weighted that small condolatory hand on my shoulder with mine, and 
gave it a firm, hard squeeze. I broke down all over again, seeing her 
eyes, the widest and wisest I've ever seen them, meet mine, as a 
tidal wave of tender feelings for her and the solace she offered 
swamped me for keeps. Any walls we've ever had between us collapsed 
right then and there. This was a woman--a real one--with honest to 
goodness soul, not some impossible machine!

For what felt like too many minutes, any words I'd wanted to say 
clogged in the pit of my throat, and all I could do was float between 
the heaven and hell I'd created for myself since we left home, bent 
on revenge.

Tellin' her that she should be happy bein' Vulcan, not havin' 
emotions to brutalize a person every step of the way was a release. 
She and hers have got the right idea. When I told her I envied 
Vulcans for that, I meant it with all my heart.

But I was dead wrong about Vulcans not feelin' anythin' for those 
they've lost after she told me the truth.

It was after what she said about not givin' into emotions, not 
lettin' them overwhelm and we humans are the ones to be envied that I 
knew. Armed with the knowledge, I felt strangely at 
peace...regardless of whether we succeed or fail to save our world. 
This is the woman I could spend the rest of my life with. By the look 
in her eyes, I knew she felt the same about me.

Just squeezin' her reassurin' hand some more wasn't enough.

I couldn't help my-damn-self and I think she wanted me to, anyway; we 
both felt better for my pulling her into my arms. After we hugged, 
and I have to admit, T'Pol hugs harder than I do, any day of the 
week, we walked hand in hand to retrieve the portable power cells I'd 
angrily kicked away. We got to work on the extensive damage; it was a 
doozy of a patch job, I kid you not... more like a spit and a prayer 
quick fix, and I'll own up to the fact that my spit's been runnin' 
pretty dry these days.

Tirelessly, T'Pol and I worked side by side as though that's how it 
should always be. I'd stake my job on the relays holdin' up and the 
repair crews have their power, thanks to the timely, practicable 
suggestions my able assistant made.

I was bein' a real snide pain in the ass when I made the crack about 
T'Pol helpin' if she could resurrect the dead.

I was only partly-right when I'd said my slain engineer, as well as 
others of the fallen, had a knack for fixin' fused assemblies. I was 
angrier than hell at the whole damn universe when I said what I said. 
Jane Taylor was gifted, and would have made a crackerjack chief 
engineer on whatever vessel she might have been assigned to, had she 
survived. The bright flame of her candle was snuffed out way too 
early...just like Lizzie's.

Yet, T'Pol, my T'Pol, though, is a wiz through and through, an 
analytical, technophilic natural, at anythin' she sets her mind to 
do. Whatever she does, she does it so well. She's the first to admit 
she's Vulcan, not a so-called human magician. She's not immune to 
makin' mistakes...yeah, right. She should know by now that our 
disagreein' is what makes life a lot more fun.

You'd think after all this time workin' so closely together I'd know 
what a sharpie this lovely lady is like the back of my hand. I know 
some things, but not nearly enough.

There's so much I don't know about her still. But I do know somethin' 
else, now, somethin' I've locked away in my head. T'Pol's a giver, 
and I can't thank her enough for what she's given me...the will to go 
on, to see all of this uphill battle through.

If I only get one wish, it's this: Let there be time. Time that'll 
lend itself to appreciatin' the paradox that is this remarkable 
woman, and some small hope that there might be a place where I fit 
within the beautiful puzzle.

The letter to Taylor's parents done, I close my eyes, free to quietly 
reflect on what the immediate future could hold. Breathin' in deeply, 
then lettin' it out with control, the way I've been shown, I solemnly 
say, "Goodbye, Elizabeth." I take another deep breath, lift my hand 
up from her framed photograph and rise from my bunk just as the comm 
sounds off. It's T'Pol.

"Commander, I need you."

Funny, I was thinkin' the same about needin' her, like needin' air 
for my next breath.

"I'm in the Command Center. Analysis of the co-ratial throposcopic 
data you collected is complete. I believe the findings confirm what 
you suspected."

"Sure thing, T'Pol. Be right there." And I am.


TBC



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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