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From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Date: Sat, 1 May 2004 10:16:44 -0500
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW: VOY: The Maquis Way (5/7) NC 17 C/P C/Various
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Title:        The Maquis Way 
Author:        Darksusie (December 2003)
Series:        Voyager
Pairing         C/Various   C/P
Rating:            NC 17 
Disclaimer:       Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount.  
Summary:        The Captain and Tuvok have been left on New Earth.  
WARNING  THERE IS A RAPE SCENE.  PLEASE DO NOT READ ON IF YOU FIND 
THIS IN ANYWAY OFFENSIVE

"Fucked up good and proper, this time, haven't you Paris."  He 
couldn't say my name with any more contempt if he tried.  "You have 
made my job extremely difficult.  Do you know what it has cost us to 
placate the Aneriens?  One more week and you would have been my First 
Officer, but you just couldn't cut it could you?"  

He reaches around and undoes my trousers, pulling them down roughly.  
If I thought I was scared before I am absolutely petrified now.  For 
what seems like ages nothing happens and I can feel my legs beginning 
to shake, with the fear and the shame of being on display like this.  
And then the pain hits me.  Fuck he must be putting all his strength 
into the beating.  It's a good job I am gagged or else I would be 
screaming the ship down.  I can't believe the bastard could make love 
to me like he did and then beat the shit out of me like this.  The 
beating stops and the raw pain begins to recede into an excruciating 
throbbing.  And then I cry into the gag again as he roughly enters 
me.  He's put on lubrication but as he's not prepared me, the pain as 
he slams in nearly makes me pass out.  Like a copy of the last time 
he visited me, he keeps up a chant, but this time it is insults.

"Your just one more disappointment in my life, Paris."

" How many more fuck ups are you going to make."

"Your behaviour disgusts me."  

With each slam into my body he brings me down a bit more and then he 
stops talking.  He undoes one of the ties on my hands.  His movements 
slow, become more sensuous and despite the fact that I am hurting and 
filled with rage at him, I begin to get aroused. He is hitting just 
the right spot, and whispering in my ear, "touch yourself Tom."  At 
first I resist, but he becomes more insistent.  His voice takes on a 
menacing timbre, "I said touch yourself."  So I begin stroking 
myself, if I climax maybe he will too and we can get this over with.  
I can feel myself approaching the point of no return, when he says 
the words I had so loved last time.  "Come for me, for me."  I start 
to climax when he leans over,  "come for me Paris like the whore that 
you are."   I come but it is physically painful as though I've
been 
stopped in mid flow by a phaser shot.  He then begins pounding into 
me bringing himself off.  The tears began to flow.  I'd managed to 
hold them back while he thrashed me, held them in while he fucked me 
hard but I can't hold them back any longer.  He not only thinks I am 
a fuck up and a disappointment but a whore as well.  I want him away 
from me so I can just curl up with the humiliation.  He doesn't even 
make a noise when he comes, just pulls out, pulls up his zip, undoes 
my other hand, turns and leaves.  I lay on the floor, filled with 
shame and anger and a great deal of hurt.  The doc comes by and 
patches me up and then thankfully I can curl up and cry myself to 
sleep.  

I'm back in my quarters now.  Two weeks in the brig.  No
visitors, no 
one to talk to.  At least Chakotay didn't make a repeat visit. 
I've 
got a week of bridge duty, with the rest of the time confined to 
quarters.  I'll get through it.  The hate I feel for the Captain
will 
make sure of that.  

It's business as usual.  Everyone, including Chakotay, is talking
to 
me like nothing unusual as happened.  Chakotay even rests a hand on 
my shoulder when I've done a good move.  Well, fuck him.  At
lunch, 
Harry asks about my brig time, but I can't tell him what Chakotay did 
to me.  I can hardly live with the humiliation without Harry knowing 
as well. Over the week I find it harder and harder to talk to people 
and even after my confinement to quarters is over I can't mix, can't 
really eat.  My behaviour on the bridge is textbook, no banter, no 
fancy flying, no quips, no smart ass replies.  After 2 weeks of this 
the captain calls me in to his office.

"Sit down Tom," Chakotay says as he brings over two drinks. Great so 
he thinks he can do the good pal act, well he can think again about 
that.

"Harry's been to see me, he's very concerned about you, as am
I."

I can't help snorting in derision at this.  Yeah I bet he's
really 
concerned the asshole.  I just sit and look at him.

"Do you have a problem and can I help you with it at all?" he sounds 
all concerned, as though he cares.

Putting on my most sarcastic voice, "No why would I have a problem, 
Captain?"

"Look Tom you can confide in me if there's something bothering
you," 
again in that calm counsellor's voice.

The anger is nearly consuming me.  "Well let me think.  I get thrown 
in the brig, beaten to a pulp, raped and humiliated by my commanding 
officer and you think there might be something bothering me.  You 
don't think that could be fucking affecting me you bastard." 

I launch myself at him, trying to punch him.  But by now I am so 
fired up but at the same time so upset that I am ineffective.  He 
catches hold of my arms and holds me to him.  The tears start again 
and I just keep repeating the same words, "how could you do that to 
me, you bastard."  Over and over, but he just holds me.  When I 
finish he places me down on the couch and sits next to me.  

He grabs my chin.  "Look at me," he says sternly.  

Eventually I look up and meet his eyes.  

"Is that how you see it, Tom that I raped and abused you.  I
don't 
see it like that.  You had a lesson to learn, a hard lesson. 
That's 
all it was.  Punishment for your crime.  It's the Maquis Way of 
things.  Now you should put it behind you.  Get on with your life and 
don't make the same mistake again."  He reaches out and wipes
away 
the tears from my face and idiot that I am; lean in to get more of 
his touch.  He leans over and again takes me in his arms.  

"Everyone misses the old Tom, I miss the old Tom.  I want you to go 
to Sandrine's tonight, mix with your friends.  Will you do that
for 
me?"  

I nod, mutely, unable to trust myself to speak.  

"Good," he leans over and kisses me on the forehead. He gets up to go 
back to the Bridge giving me 5 minutes to pull myself together.

I meet up with Harry for a couple of games of pool.  Actually I do 
feel a little better and everybody treats me with friendship.  I 
expected everyone to know what I'd been through, expected
everyone to 
be disgusted.  But everyone treats me as they normally would.  The 
ones who didn't talk to me before still don't and the ones who I 
count as friends act like nothing life shattering as just happened.  
So I try to as well.  Chakotay comes in with Ayala and Tabor and I 
quickly decide that I'll have to get out of here, when the Captain 
comes over to Harry and me.  

"Mind if I play the winner." He grins, knowing full well that would 
be me. 

"Not at all captain," Harry says fawning around Chakotay.  I am 
seriously going to have to have words with him. 

Chakotay isn't the pushover I expect him to be.  When he calls time 
on things, saying he's got an early shift in the morning I
realise 
two hours have passed.  Two pleasant hours. 

As is well known I bounce back from anything.  So I pick myself up 
and eventually I feel more like my old self, except for my 
impotence.  I can't get it up.  I've tried a couple of my old lady 
friends, no chance, I even tried an old gentleman friend.  I
didn't 
even get to first base with him.  I can't touch myself.  I do get 
hard when I am asleep, but only if I dream of Chakotay.  Usually it's 
the most beautiful dream, him kissing me, stroking me.  Then he'll 
put his sweets lip around my throbbing cock and just when I'm about 
to come, I hear the word "Whore" again.  I orgasm but instead of it 
being intense pleasure it's intense pain in my lower stomach, as 
though someone has kicked me in the balls.

My relationship with the Captain as mellowed a little.  Ayala took me 
aside and told me to get over it, said he knew what I'd gone 
through.  It had happened to him, not on Voyager but on the Crazy 
Horse.  Said it had taken him 3 months to get over it, but in the end 
it had made him a stronger person.  I can't see the logic behind his 
thinking but equally I can't stay bitter forever.

A couple of weeks later the opportunity to put it behind me comes 
along when the Captain picks me to accompany him to a nearby planet.  
It is a hospitable society and they've agreed to do trade with
us.  I 
have been asked because there is a great deal of turbulence and 
Chakotay needs to concentrate on the coming negotiations.  We land 
well and are wined and dined by the friendliest people we have met in 
the Delta Quadrant.  By midmorning of the next day we have completed 
all the negotiations so have free time to look around the city.  
Chakotay is the ideal companion, pointing out things of interest, 
making me laugh, and chuckling at all my jokes.  By the time we sit 
down at the banquet in our honour I've nearly forgotten there has 
been any unfriendliness between us.  The night is marred for me by 
one of the officials who makes it plain he is attracted to the 
Captain.  As we are mingling I take my eyes off Chakotay and when I 
look back he is missing and so is the official.  I feel a tight knot 
in my stomach.  The likeliest place is the balcony so I set out for 
there.  When I get to the door, I see them talking and they look 
pretty cosy.  I cough and they turn around.  

"Ah Tom, come join us, please." 

For a moment I think he looks relieved.  We chat for a few minutes 
and then the alien leaves. 

"Thank the spirits you came by," Chakotay says and he looks like he 
means it.

"Why captain, you looked like you were enjoying yourself.  I noticed 
a bit of flirting going on at the table." Even to my ears I sound 
bitter. 

I hate feeling jealous but when your emotions are bouncing all about 
the place, jealousy is bound to rear its ugly head.  Chakotay gives 
me a questioning look.  

"I can't deny I find him attractive, but the non-fraternisation
rule 
stands for me as it does for everyone else.   If you hadn't
joined us 
it could have turned nasty.  He didn't like the fact that I
didn't 
want to jump into bed with him and was getting a bit argumentative."

I'm only half listening.  He's lost me after the find him
attractive 
line.  The rest of the evening I spend worrying over Chakotay's 
attraction to the official but by the end of the evening he's
brought 
me out of it.  I had been hoping that with our new found camaraderie 
we could take it a step further but he's kept it strictly work. But I 
am enjoying myself, the Captain is such good company when he isn't 
being a hard arse.  We were just coming to the end of the farewell 
ceremony when I see the official from the balcony coming towards us.  
In a split second, I see him raise the weapon and fire.  
Instinctively I push Chakotay out of the way and take the shot.  God, 
fuck, shit it hurts.  Chakotay is cradling my head while medics 
come.  My last thought is that at least I'll die with him and me as 
friends.

I come around a day later in our sickbay.  Harry tells me that the 
government couldn't apologise enough, in fact we got the goods
for 
free.  Chakotay did a good job getting us back, we took damage 
getting through the atmosphere which was why I have been in sick bay 
so long. I hear the doc comm the Bridge and inform the Captain that I 
am awake.  I lay back, quietly excited about his visit.  Up to the 
shooting we had such a good time and I was hoping that it would carry 
over onto Voyager.

Five hours later I've been released to my quarters, with instructions 
to rest.  Harry and B'Elanna keeping me company until I start to 
wilt.  Harry helps me to bed, concern showing on his face, but I 
reassure him with some excuse.  But as I lay in bed I admit to myself 
that I am disappointed and hurt.  He can't even come and visit me and 
I saved the bastard's life.  It seems we are back to square one.

I manage to get to the mess hall and back the next day before I 
tire.  He isn't there.  Harry says they are all pulled out on the 
bridge, but I think he is trying to make me feel better. The next day 
I stay in my room.  I am due back on the bridge tomorrow and I need 
to get in the right frame of mind.  Harry stops by and persuades me 
to go to Sandrine's.  If I'm honest I only go in case the
Captain 
drops in but he doesn't.  At around 2100 hours I set off back to my 
quarters.  When I get in I don't feel tired so I lounge around the 
room, restless.  Hopefully after a warm shower I can fall asleep.

I walk into my bedroom, my heart nearly stops.  




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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