Received: from [66.218.66.31] by n46.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 01 May 2004 15:20:27 -0000 X-Sender: campbratcher@psci.net X-Apparently-To: ASCEM-S@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 37728 invoked from network); 1 May 2004 15:20:26 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.166) by m25.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 1 May 2004 15:20:26 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO mailstore.psci.net) (63.65.184.2) by mta5.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 1 May 2004 15:20:26 -0000 Received: from max (as1-d10-rp-psci.psci.net [63.69.225.10]) by mailstore.psci.net (8.12.2/8.12.2) with SMTP id i41FKEDr030663 for ; Sat, 1 May 2004 10:20:15 -0500 Message-ID: <005201c42f8f$d9e663c0$0ae1453f@max> To: "ASCEM-S" Organization: ConGlomeration X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2800.1158 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2800.1165 X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 63.65.184.2 From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" X-Yahoo-Profile: sileya MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEM-S@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEM-S-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCEM-S@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sat, 1 May 2004 10:20:34 -0500 Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW: VOY: The Maquis Way (7/7) NC 17 C/P C/Various Reply-To: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Title: The Maquis Way Author: Darksusie (December 2003) Series: Voyager Pairing C/Various C/P Rating: NC 17 Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount. Summary: The Captain and Tuvok have been left on New Earth. Then he dashes out. I had stupidly thought that our relationship would change things, that this would stop. I'd not thought to discuss it, I had just assumed. I can't leave his quarters, I need to know what time he returns. I pace the floor, the thought of him rewarding Tabor causing me more pain than I could ever imagine. I'd fallen asleep by the time he returned. It takes me awhile to come round but when I do I just fly at him, hitting him in a frenzy. Unfortunately he quickly overpowers me. "What the fucks a matter with you. I'm too tired for this shit." He holds me in a vice like grip. "Oh I bet your tired, fucking Tabor all night you bastard." I was sobbing by this time. All day I had felt on top of the world and now I don't think I can feel any worse. "You know it isn't personal, not like me and you. I'm the Captain, Tom. I have responsibilities which includes punishment and rewards. You know that." I push him away. "I can't share you. Find another way." I stare at him, wanting nothing more than him to take me in his arms and reassure me. "There is no other way, only the Maquis way." He moves towards me. "No Chakotay, you've a choice, either the Maquis way or me," and with that I walk out. I arrive at the briefing five minutes before the others. "So Chakotay what's your decision?" Most of the night I have been awake, thinking things through. I have to be strong or else I will have no pride left. "Tom I want you, you know how much but I have responsibilities, you must understand that." He grabs my hand but I shrug him off. "No I don't understand at all. I can't make love to you then stand by as you go and fuck someone else. You broke my heart last night I'm not prepared to let you continue doing it." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry Tom, but my priority is to the ship and its crew." "If that's the case then I have to inform you Captain that I will be leaving the ship tomorrow when we reach the Ziranni Homeworld. I have been in contact with the trader that Tabor met up with and they have no problem in accepting a qualified pilot." I march out of the room just as the rest of the senior staff come in. Part of me is hoping that Chakotay will come after me, tell me he has made a mistake. But deep down I know that he won't. He must have announced my departure at the staff briefing because throughout the day friends drop by to dissuade me. Ayala comes by and we talk. He says I am being a fool, that I should take the good and not mind the bad. He tells me that Chakotay has deep feelings for me but in the end he accepts that I can't deal with it. Next day they drop by the transporter room to say goodbye, all my friends but Chakotay. That hurts. Now I'm down on the surface. I've got a good job and lodgings with a really nice family. It's been 3 days, 3 long days. I have found it hard to eat and sleep. Yesterday it finely hit me that they're gone for good. So I go out and get laid and then get drunk. I can't face sleeping with another man, not after Chakotay but a nice local girl comes onto me in a bar. For an hour or two I can forget my unhappiness but as soon as it is over I feel empty again and guilty at using the girl. Five days, I'm still not sleeping. I either dream about Chakotay fucking Tabor and I wake up shouting and sweating or I dream Chakotay's making love to me and I wake up wet and sticky and crying in anguish at the loss. Six days, I find myself wondering what they are doing, who Chakotay's with. As if I'm not in enough pain I have to add to my torment by thinking of that. I don't regret leaving, I know I couldn't have stood by and watched Chakotay implement the Maquis Way. Equally I know that he's a stubborn man and wouldn't have been persuaded to drop it. I am now resigned to the fact that I have to make a new life for myself. Seven days, a whole week. Any hope they will turn around and come back for me is now gone. By now they will be too far on their journey home. I try not to let the depression take me over but it is hard. I arrive at work and straight away I get called into the office to see the supervisor. At no time have I put a foot wrong so I'm not nervous. Maybe I'm already in line for promotion. When I enter her office the first person I see is Ayala. My breath catches in my throat. For a minute I am in ecstasy, Chakotay's sent for me and then the agony kicks in. "I'm not going back if he hasn't changed anything. You can tell him if he still wants to do it the Maquis Way I'm staying here." I cross my arms, I can be as stubborn as him. I haven't really looked at Ayala but when I do glance at his face I can see how strained he looks. "Tom, Chakotay didn't send me. We need you back on the ship, the Captain is dying," Ayala manages to choke out. Luckily my training kicks in, "right stay here I'll get my things." I quickly go back to my lodgings, gather my things, say my goodbyes and I am back at the office and in the shuttle in no time. Greg flies the shuttle as I am too shaken up. I sit at the back thinking things through. Chakotay is dying and he hadn't sent for me. Chakotay is dying and he had been prepared to leave me. Both thoughts break my heart. I take a deep breath, I'll have more time later to put my thoughts in order, and so I join Ayala up front. He begins to fill me in on what happened. Chakotay regretted letting me go and skulked about, taking his temper out on the closest to him. Then after a heart to heart with Greg he had decided to turn around and come back for me. Greg said he'd got upset and had said he loved me and that he would find a way that would make me happy. I cried at the irony that he was on his way to get me back when he'd been injured. Ayala waits for me to calm down and then continues, they'd encountered a defence ship and they got a lucky shot in. The console near Chakotay had exploded, embedding metal into his skull. The doc had operated but he was now in a coma and failing rapidly. The whole crew were behind Ayala in coming back for me. They want me to captain the ship. By the time he had given me the entire story we had arrived at Voyager and we were on our way to sickbay. Even with all the information Greg has given me I am not prepared for the sight of Chakotay all wired up, his face grey and drawn. The display is hardly moving, his life signs are so weak. I hold his hand, tell him I love him. Eventually Ayala squeezes my shoulder, telling me that we have work to do. I lean over and kiss my lover on the lips, holding back my tears, there would be time for this later. I settle in to the job but I won't let anyone call me captain. That is Chakotay's title and until there is no doubt that he will not retake his position I take the title of Commander. A couple of weeks later Chakotay begins to improve, only slightly but it gives us hope but after a week of slow improvement he levels out. I have been the acting captain for 3 months. From the start I made it plain that I had no time for the Maquis Way, not fully anyway. If there was any punishment to be handed out Ayala socked them on the jaw and then they did time in the brig. If anyone deserved rewards, they got replicator rations, or holodeck time. The crew are all working well together so there is less need for this to happen. Chakotay is on the decline again. I have tried to come to terms with the fact that I will lose him. In fact some days when I am really down I pray for his death as I feel the crew, and me especially, can't cope with his lingering demise. We wonder into a hostile sector, which keeps my mind off sickbay. We've been fighting and evading for days and have just got a breather when I get the call I've been dreading. "Commander Paris can you get to the sickbay as quickly as possible." The doc says tersely. I comm B'Elanna and nod to Greg to join me. They are his oldest friends, they need to be there as well. None of us say a word as we make our way. "How long." I ask the doctor as I take Chakotay's hand. "No longer than 30 minutes." He goes to his office to give us some privacy. B'Elanna has taken his other hand and Greg has rested his hand on Chakotay's shoulder. The air is filled with sobs. I look at the man who has caused me so much pain and so much happiness. He doesn't look like he will last the next five minutes. I bring his hand up to my lips and just as I gently kiss it the red alert starts. I look at Greg and B'Elanna and we all know we have no option but to leave him but I can't stand the thought of him dying on his own so I comm Wildman and ask her to come and hold his hand as he passes over. I will have to grieve later. Four hours pass, we are flying by the seat of our pants. We take heavy damage but luckily injuries are minimal. We finally get everything under control and the three of us again make our way down to sickbay. As we stand outside the doors B'Elanna begins to cry and I take her in my arms, sobbing with her. Eventually we manage to calm ourselves and walk in. My heart goes into my mouth when I glance at the biobed. All the wires have been removed, I suppose ready for the autopsy. He looks quite peaceful as I walk towards him. His eyes are closed, his head slightly turned away from me. I take his hand, it is still warm so he can't have been dead long. The floodgates open up and I lay my head on his chest and let all the hurt and sorrow come out. I feel Greg's hand on my shoulder. "Tom, Tom." I ignore him, I am too deep in my sorrow. "Tom, look." He is more insistent. I look up into brown, serious eyes. Chakotay's eyes. I am confused, light-headed. I hear Greg saying Chakotay is alive. I am just staring and then slowly, very weakly Chakotay reaches out and touches my face, the tears flowing down his cheeks. I lay down next to him and gently hold him. After a while his breathing changes and I realise he is asleep. Leaving him on the bed we go in to see the doctor who soon fills us in. When our ship took damage, a bolt of power hit the console and cut off the life support to Chakotay. The doc decided there was nothing to be done, that the best thing was to let him die with dignity. But the stubborn, wonderous man had carried on breathing and after an hour had weakly opened his eyes. Whatever had hit the console had kick started his system. The doctor said that he was on the road to recovery but he was still extremely weak, it would be along time before he would be released. We all take it in turns to sit with him, making sure he is never alone, encouraging him to get better. And then one day I enter sickbay and he is sitting up. I hold his hand, stroking and kissing it, grateful for this second chance. We haven't spoken about what happened between us, but one day we will, but just not yet, he seems so fragile. Then comes the day he can leave sick bay. I take him home and hold him in my arms, revelling in the feel of his body. It must be nearly six months since we touched like this but my body responds like it was yesterday. But I need to make sure, make him understand that things are different now. I turn to him, "Chakotay I love you very much but you must know there is to be no more Maquis Way. If you want us to be together, for it to work, from now on it has to be my way. With a twinkle in his eye, he smiles, "and does your way include me making love to you." His hand was slowly moving up my chest, playing with my nipples, his arousal pressing into me. "Because if it doesn't the big bad Maquis will have to make sure it does." "And just how will the big bad Maquis do that?" I smile my heart filled with love for this man. I lean up and kiss him gently but he begins to kiss me feverishly. "You'll find out at the next briefing, fly boy, when I take you over my knee and give you a good spanking." Then the only sound is Chakotay's soft moans as it becomes clear that making love to me, and only me, is definitely included in Tom's Way. The end [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~--> Buy Ink Cartridges or Refill Kits for your HP, Epson, Canon or Lexmark Printer at MyInks.com. Free s/h on orders $50 or more to the US & Canada. http://www.c1tracking.com/l.asp?cid=5511 http://us.click.yahoo.com/mOAaAA/3exGAA/qnsNAA/5x3olB/TM ---------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEM-S/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: ASCEM-S-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ From ???@??? Mon May 03 22:31:58 2004 X-Persona: Status: U Return-Path: Received: from n8.grp.scd.yahoo.com ([66.218.66.92]) by killdeer (EarthLink SMTP Server) with SMTP id 1bkGIj4Hn3NZFlr0 for ; Mon, 3 May 2004 09:54:42 -0700 (PDT) X-eGroups-Return: sentto-1978024-8041-1083603282-stephenbratliff=earthlink.net@returns.groups.yahoo.com