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From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2004 18:20:43 -0500
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW TOS: A Generation's End  (K/Mc) 1/1 NR
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Title:  A Generation's End

Author:  Nikita

Series:  TOS

Pairing:  K/Mc

Summary - He was alive, but now he's dead.

Warning:  Mentions of character death.

Author's Notes:  Double hanky alert!  This ficlet is depressing as 
hell, but what can you expect with a challenge like this - 46. Write 
a story how McCoy reacts to Kirk's death in "Generations"!
As soon as I read this challenge I could feel McCoy's pain...  

XOXOXOX


I'm an old man - I've lived through some amazing times.  Seen, 
heard, and felt so much...  I was a husband, a father, a doctor, an 
adventurer, a friend, and a lover...

I've suffered losses...no man can live as long as I and not suffer 
great pain as well as joy...  But in my advanced age I felt secure 
in my knowledge that I had already experienced the greatest pain I 
could know...that nothing left could truly touch me anymore...

How little I knew.

He was alive.

He was alive all this time...waiting...  How long did it take me to 
come to terms with his death?  How long did I rage and demand that 
Starfleet investigate the incident further...?

He was alive...trapped in a state of being that even now I cannot 
comprehend...alive.

And he is dead.

Dead.

They ripped my heart out and crushed it before my eyes in the space 
of moments.  He was alive...but now he's dead.  

Officially dead.  Legally dead.  Physically dead.

Dead - dead - dead.

I didn't think that word could hurt me anymore.

I was wrong.

All these years I lived.  All these years I was dead inside.

All these years I could have...should have...done SOMETHING.

For all the times he rescued others...for all the times he refused 
to give up...  Why did we give up on him?

He died bravely they tell me.  Heroically.  Saving the innocent from 
certain destruction...he was always so good at that.  His death will 
be added to the history books - yet another heroic deed - a 
fantastical act...a wondrous occurrence.

He is dead.  There is nothing wonderful in that...I do not want to 
answer the questions they try to ask me - do not want to relive his 
exploits yet again for the newest generation of young hero 
worshippers.

He is dead.

And as I lie down in my bed and pull the blanket up over my old and 
tired body I know I am ready to join him.



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