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From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Date: Sat, 5 Jun 2004 19:11:36 -0500
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW: VOY C/P Disappeared, without a trace 1/9 R - NC17
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Title: Disappeared, without a trace 1/9
Author: Darksusie - February 04
Series: Voyager
Pairing C/P P/K C/other
Rating: R - NC17
Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew are the property of
Paramount. 
Summary: Tom thinks about anniversaries and
Tom Paris sat staring out at the stars, thinking about
anniversaries. This month particularly held mixed
feelings for him. Last week had been the anniversary
of the crew coming together. Six years of heartache,
hard work, friendship and love, especially friendship
and love. Maybe not at the beginning but over the
years they had all come together as a family. 

Yesterday had been the anniversary of Tom and
Chakotay's first date. Four years ago, so much had
happened since that day. Tom thought back to that
first year on Voyager, when Chakotay could barely
tolerate him, never mind find it in him to become a
friend. Tom had baited him but had secretly admired
him, admired his strength of character, his
steadfastness, and his firm delicious ass, especially
his ass. 

After the first year, the Commander had relaxed enough
for them to become more than acquaintances and Tom had
wooed him, not as a lover but as a friend. The odd
game of pool, a meal here or there, until one day,
four years ago Tom had built up enough courage to ask
Chakotay on a date. Tom smiled to himself as he
remembered the shock on the Commander's face but it
was nothing like the shock on his own face when
Chakotay accepted. It had been an enjoyable evening,
a meal, a few drinks in Sandrine's and then the
Commander had insisted on walking Tom to his cabin. 
He had joked that he always made sure his dates got
home safe. At the door, Tom had turned to go in, not
wanting to rush Chakotay but Tom had found himself
quickly wrapped up in strong, capable arms and gently
but seductively kissed. Tom allowed himself a small,
sad smile at the memory. He couldn't allow himself to
linger on those thoughts, even now after all this
time, they still caused his heart to ache and his
tears to flow.

But those thoughts naturally led him to the upcoming
anniversaries next week. In four days time it would
be three years since his lover had disappeared. Lost
in the Delta Quadrant, on one of the shuttles. Six
weeks, six long, desperate weeks they had looked,
searched everywhere, asked everyone. Tom had refused
to give up, begged to keep on looking. The logs said
disappeared, without a trace. Just a brief entry, it
didn't tell the full story. Didn't say how all the
crew had been in shock. The loss of any crewmember
caused upset but when it was someone like the
Commander, who everyone respected, then it affected
everyone. Those few words didn't tell how Tom had
lost weight, had drunk himself silly and had broken
down at the helm every time a stray memory of Chakotay
had come to him. The Captain had removed him from
helm duty. The trouble was that just gave Tom time to
think. A bad thing when all you could think about is
what you have lost. It was one of those days, when
everyone else was busy and Tom had time on his hands
that he realised Chakotay had never said what his
feelings were for Tom. The pilot became obsessed with
the idea. He asked all their mutual friends if they
thought Chakotay had loved him. In the end, after
some counselling with the doctor and a long talk with
the Captain, Tom came to the conclusion that though he
had loved Chakotay, he would never know if Chakotay
had loved him back.

On the sad day that they resumed the journey home, Tom
had to be sedated. All he'd got was one year of
memories. And on the day of Chakotay's disappearance,
one year later, Harry Kim had comforted him, helped
him through the misery of the first anniversary. He
had held him, soothed his sorrow and eventually kissed
him.

Since then it had been a hard and eventually rewarding
two years. Harry had helped him over the grief, been
patient and loving and slowly Tom had begun to return
the love and next week they were to be married. Tom
was happy, contented even but still held the loss of
Chakotay close to him, though he never let Harry know
how he sometimes yearned for the passionate, hard sex
he'd had with his former lover. The lovemaking with
Harry was good, but it was always gentle, with Tom
doing the giving all the time. Harry had no interest
in being on top and the idea of giving Tom a blowjob
had only been mentioned once and refused with a look
of disgust. The fact that Harry didn't mind being on
the receiving end of said blow job hadn't escaped
Tom's notice and as for rough, heart pounding sex,
that was way out of the question. But some days when
the shift had been long and tough, Tom craved to be
fucked and fucked hard and the only man able to make
him forget himself was Chakotay. Tom sighed, this
maudlin thinking was getting him nowhere, he loved
Harry and he would try to make him as happy as he
could, he owed him that.

Making his way to the Bridge, he took a few deep
breaths to clear away the memories, smiled when he
thought about the celebrations to come. Two years and
three days after the romance began they would be
official. Janeway had decided on the three days, as
it didn't seem appropriate to hold a celebration on
the anniversary of the day the Commander had
disappeared. They had both agreed, though Harry did
reluctantly, as he thought it would be romantic if
they married on the date that they had first kissed. 
In a few days they would have two days of glorious
leave on the Holodeck. Harry water skiing, Tom
lounging and interspersed lots of gentle but
passionate lovemaking. Even if he couldn't forget
Chakotay, now was the time to put him in the past and
concentrate on the future.

Tom came out onto the Bridge just as the red alert
sounded. 

"Mr Paris get to the helm quickly, there's a rift
opening up, straight ahead. Slow to half impulse and
keep her steady," Tuvok calmly stated the orders from
Chakotay's old seat. Something Tom, after all this
time, hadn't got used to. He still thought of Tuvok
as in impostor when the Vulcan sat in that chair.

"Readings Mr Kim," Janeway asked.

"Not enough information at present, Captain," Kim
answered. Then as the ship shuddered Harry quickly
added, "there's a vehicle of some kind coming out of
the rift."

"Shields at full, Mr Ayala," Tuvok said as he moved
over to join him at tactical.

Suddenly the screen showed a small vessel, average
size of a shuttle, gold in colour with a marking that
looked like an eagle on the side.

"Open communications Mr Kim," and Janeway began her
usual speech to new friends or enemies, which ever the
case may be. There was no reply. Just as Janeway got
ready to repeat the speech, the screen lit up. 
Janeway stared at the screen as an audible gasp went
around the bridge, watched with her peripheral vision
as Harry Kim fainted and Tom go very pale and visibly
begin to shake. Staring at them from the screen,
dressed all in black, his hair rippling to his waist
and wearing a large gold earring in his left ear, sat
Chakotay.




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