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From: "Keith & Jessica Bratcher" <campbratcher@psci.net>
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Date: Wed, 16 Jun 2004 19:27:17 -0500
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW DS9: Waltz II (or, Meanwhile, Back on the Station ...) 2/2 (O/K) [NC-17
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Title: Waltz II (or, Meanwhile, Back on the Station ...)
Author: C. Zdroj
Email: czb at comcast dot net
Website: http://odosgirl.tripod.com/
Series: DS9
Part: 2/2
Rating: NC-17
Codes: O/K, O/f implied
See part one for summary and disclaimers.

Part two:

Kira rolled onto her side and sat up slowly. She made no move to touch
him. She and Odo had, occasionally, spoken of his "link" with the female
changeling, always cautiously, always with a deep awareness of things
left unsaid. But there was something now in his voice, a sense of fear
as well as shame, that suddenly seemed familiar and troubling. She
reached out to him slowly, allowed herself to touch his shoulder. He
didn't move away, but she felt a contracting of his substance under her
touch, as if his cells were drawing together.

"Odo--" she asked softly, "Did she ... force you? Did she hurt you?"

"No, she ... I didn't have the strength to say no to her." It was not an
excuse. It was clear that he blamed himself entirely. He blew a soft
snort of disgust. "We spent three days in this room. I didn't even
realize how much time was passing. I let her have everything--everything
that was me--all my memories, my emotions, everything. I gave it all to
her. I even--I 'showed her how humanoids express intimacy.'" His words
were dripping with pain and sarcasm.

Kira said nothing. His tone was one of confession, as though he needed
to expose his failings before he could bring himself to touch her. "All
my life I've longed to be with my people. Those three days were the
closest I've ever come to complete happiness--and yet, all that time, it
still seemed ... unsatisfying." He paused before going on. "It seems all
I really wanted was to be with you."

Kira shut her eyes. She let her hand fall from his shoulder. "I'm sorry,
Odo. I had no right to do this to you. It was stupid for me to come here."

He turned then and looked at her. "Was it?" he whispered, "Is it really
so ridiculous? Am I so unattractive to you?"

She felt her throat constrict, tears stinging the corners of her eyes.
"Of course not!" She took his chin in her hands and kissed his face, an
act of desperation. She kissed his eyes, his cheeks, the hard, stubborn,
straight line of his mouth. She kept her face close to his in the
darkness, let her fingers roam through his hair, combing it haphazardly
into complete disarray. She struggled for to find her words. "Odo," she
whispered, "you're beautiful. I mean that. If you only knew how perfect
you look right now--and when you kissed me, just now--and in the
temple--it was like ... nothing I'd ever felt before. And it just seems
like we've both been avoiding this for so long. I don't know what I feel
right now. I'm tired and scared and lonely, and I do want you. I just
don't want to use you the way she did. When you started talking about
her--I realized that's what I was doing. This isn't right. It's not fair
to you." She let her fingers smooth a few strands of hair back into
place along his temple. "You've always been so good to me. You've always
been there. You've never complained. I've never done anything but take
advantage, have I?"

Odo shook his head. "That's not true. You--" He reached up and caught
her hands, drawing them down gently and holding them still. "Don't you
realize what you are to me? You are the one who made me feel ... like a
person, like I belonged here on this station, at a time when I'd become
so used to being a freak that I hardly thought about it anymore. Don't
you see?" His face was close to hers now, his voice filled with both
fear and longing.

Kira nodded slowly. "I think so."

"I'm not asking for any promises, Nerys. I don't even dare to ask you to
forgive me. But if I can do this, for you--then nothing else matters. I
won't feel used, I promise you." She leaned close and kissed him again,
feeling herself tremble with the intensity of it. He released her hands,
and she drew him to her, nuzzling his face. "It's all right--I promise,"
she whispered, finding a rhythm now in touching him. He raised his own
hands tentatively to her face, following her lead. This was uncharted
territory for both of them and they moved slowly, hesitantly as a pair
of ... *virgins,* Kira thought, and she gently drew Odo's hands back to
the nape of her neck--to the place where the zipper of her jumpsuit was
located. She pressed her forehead against his, "Help me out of this,
would you?"

She was surprised, somehow, by the delicacy of his hands, as they pulled
the zipper down smoothly and then slipped over her bare shoulders,
between the fabric and her skin. She felt the thrill of his hesitation,
the ache of her own body as she realized how badly she wanted him. "Go
ahead," she told him--and in silence, the front of the jumpsuit came
down, exposing her upper body in the starlight, the pale curves of her
neck and shoulders, her small, firm breasts. She shivered in the slight
chill of the room as this last "skin" was peeled away from her. Odo
paused for only a breath before she felt his hands travel caressingly
down her flanks to her hips. His fingers slid just under the elastic
waist of her thin white panties, freeing her from the last confines of
her uniform.

"Touch me," she said, "It's all right ..." and she felt his fingertips
move along the inside of her thigh, then higher, delicately, reverently,
tracing the outer edges of her vulva.

A tiny whimper of pleasure emerged from her as Odo continued the slow
and gentle investigation of her body. He continued to tease lightly at
the opening between her thighs, his fingers now solid, now partially
liquid, traveling in precise, careful circles until she moaned softly.
His mouth closed on hers and he liquefied, welling into her mouth and
her waiting vagina at the same moment. Her whole body shivered in
response, arching against him. Her hips moved, her whole body moved with
sureness against him, her arms and legs wound around his supple,
ever-changing form. There, on the wide bed in his quarters, on the very
sheets that had once held the pooled, entwined forms of Odo and the
female changeling, Kira Nerys opened herself, body and soul, to the
unknown and the unknowable, and cried out her passion in the dark.

She was mindless and unthinking as she twisted among the soft sheets,
against his soft body, against his soft words. Her body was a river.
There were rivers flowing out of her, where Odo moved inside her and
tasted her. She gasped. She felt the sound her name, a velvet rumble
against her skin, whispered to her over and over.

"Odo," she gasped

There was no end. She felt him inside her and her hips moved with his, a
chaos of passion amidst the sheets. He was warm and real, now solid and
now fluid, around her, inside her. Her orgasms shattered the silence,
one after another, as she moved beneath him, receiving his passion as a
smooth, white beach receives the ocean. She saw, through the haze of her
own pleasure, the look of intense concentration, almost pain, on those
simple features of his, heard him cry out and felt his essence spill
into her. Somehow it was a victory. He collapsed onto her chest,
breathing hard, as any Bajoran male would after sexual release. She ran
her hands over his shoulder blades, feeling the illusion of muscle and
bone, listening to him breathe, feeling him tremble. Her fingers ran up
through his soft, disheveled hair, pulling him to her in a protective
gesture. "Shhh... It's all right."

"I'm sorry, Nerys ...."

"Shhh..." She wound her legs around his hips, forcing him to stay inside
her, kissed his temple in reassurance, held him until his body became
still. She was aware of his mouth against hers, of slow, tender kisses.
She slipped into the warmth of sleep still clinging to him.

~~~

When Kira woke she was immediately conscious of an absence, a lack of
warmth. She rolled onto her side and saw Odo standing at the viewport,
staring into the distance, the supple curves of his lovely, naked body
highlighted by the cool, silvery light of the stars. She blinked in
surprise at the second of transcendent loveliness. For in that moment he
was more than just Odo--her friend and her lover, he was all that was
alien, all that was mysterious and ultimately unknowable. And yet, the
tenderness and subtle, carefully-built curves of the humanoid frame were
now familiar to her as places where her own hands had traveled. It came
as a shock to her to realize that she knew him better than perhaps
anyone did. He had stayed here, in this humanoid world, for her. She
knew this. He had rejected his own people to be with her. Kira was
moved. For the first time, the idea of being loved so much meant
something to her other than fear.

She sat up, and Odo turned to look in her direction. The bedclothes fell
away from her body as she rose from the bed, went to him and kissed him
in the starlight, kissed him for a long time, letting the feel of his
liquid self spill inside her mouth, and this time, feeling what it was
to be him feeling her. There was a slight quiver of flesh shared between
them, a sweet whisper of anxiety and adrenaline. She did not know if it
was her body or his. At last she stopped, bowed her head and felt Odo's
forehead come to rest against her own. "What were you looking for?" she
asked, nodding briefly at the viewport. "I mean--out there."

"I don't know."

"Come back to bed," she whispered.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

He clutched her then, and she felt a shiver pass through his body. Had
he been humanoid, she would have thought him about to cry. She closed
her eyes and held him. "What is it, Odo? Tell me."

He continued to hold her, and his voice when he spoke was a tight
whisper. "This still feels so unreal to me--like a dream. I'm sorry."

She held him in the silence, feeling the anxiety and pain pulsing
through the substance of his being. His body hummed with it.

She kissed his temple. "I should be the one to apologize. I was so
afraid of--I don't know. I'm still afraid. It just seems to matter less
right now."

There was a silence. "I need to regenerate soon," he said, as though it
embarrassed him.

"I thought that's what the bed was for," she said quietly, with the
tiniest of smiles. He didn't protest as she took his hand once more and
drew him with her to the wide mattress. They lay down together among the
tangled sheets, Odo's head pillowed on Kira's chest, her hands tracing
aimless designs on his shoulders and through his hair.

"I need you, you know," she said quietly. "I always have." She waited
for a few breaths, choosing her words carefully. "Do you remember the
first time you ever linked with another changeling--back when we first
met them on that stray planet you discovered?"

"I remember," he whispered, his eyes closed.

"You joined hands, and then your hands melted together while I
watched--and when she finally let go of you, you had this ... look on
your face. Some secret joy that I could never understand--and then you
just looked--blank, gone. Like the Odo I knew had never existed. I was
afraid you were gone forever."

"I'm sorry."

"I've been afraid losing you ever since that day--to them. Even before
we knew who your people were, I always had a sense that I would lose you
to them. When she came here, she ... *they* ... they took you away from me."

She kissed the top of his head. "I don't ever want to lose you again."
The words were spoken in barest whisper. Her own confession.

His hand tightened around hers in the darkness. "I'm not sure how to
explain it to you, Nerys--but you are ... already part of who I am. And
I don't want to lose you either." His hand turned to liquid, immersing
hers, and Kira felt a wave of pleasure pulse suddenly from the tips of
her fingers and throughout her body.

"It's all right," she whispered. "I'm here."

Odo, feeling his control over the humanoid form begin to slip the
tiniest fraction, murmured, "I'll probably slide ... off ... the
mattress," His voice was breathless and fatigued.

"Don't worry--I won't let you fall."

Odo felt his body begin to slowly mold itself to the curves of hers, the
edges of his assumed form blurring and melting, merging with hers
somehow, and then, like a softly expelled breath of air, he released his
hold and let himself fall into her care, contracting and pooling gently
into the hollow created by her curled-up body. He lay against her chest,
felt her heartbeat, felt her arms gather him in. He rippled against her,
enveloping her body as she enclosed his, letting the rhythms of her body
lull him into the blessed stillness of changeling sleep.

Beside him, within him, Kira slept as well, safe and without dreams.

The End

~~~

Author's Note: Two earlier versions of this story have appeared in the
fanzines Face Forward IV (1998), and Love and Justice VI (2001). Since
it was originally published before Odo and Kira became a canonical
couple on DS9, I was surprised and pleased, on re-reading this work, to
find that I had anticipated a bit of Kira's dialogue in "Chimera," which
didn't air until February of 1999. This story also has some similarities
to one of my later works, "Flying and Falling" (2001), which, like this 
story, can also be found on my website: http://odosgirl.tripod.com/

-- 
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