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Date: Tue, 22 Jun 2004 18:04:55 -0400
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW:  Ceremony:  The First Officer (VOY; J, Chakotay; PG-13);
  2/5
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Title:      Ceremony
Author:     Kelly [Chambliss]
Email:      rather_be_reading @ yahoo.com
Website:    http://appelsini.tripod.com/Kelly/
Series:     VOY
Codes:      Janeway and others
Rating:     PG-13
Part:       2/5
Posted:     June 22, 2004
Archive:    ASC(EM); BLTS; others please ask
Disclaimer: All that is Trek belongs to Paramount.
Summary:    Captain Janeway gets promoted.


Part Two:
The First Officer

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

He did not attend the ceremony.

He sent his regrets almost as soon as he received the invitation.
Seven seemed angry that he wasn't going, but Chakotay hadn't tried to
explain.  How could he tell her, when she slept in his bed every
night, that he preferred to ignore everything connected with
Voyager?  The last thing he wanted was to face that crew again, and
the press, and the Fleet brass, and all those people whose relatives
and lovers hadn't made it back.

He was sure that Seven thought he was staying away because of
Kathryn.  He could not disabuse her of the notion that he yearned for
Kathryn or was angry with her or felt used by her.  None of that was
true, but Seven didn't seem to believe him.  So he had simply stopped
discussing it.

It was unfair of him, he supposed.  He didn't mean to shut her out,
it was just. . .

They never should have gotten together in the first place.  He
realized that now.  But on Voyager, after Seven had lost some of her
Borg defensiveness, he had found her appealing.  That mixture of
vulnerability and confidence -- it intrigued him.  And when she had
appeared drawn to him, when it seemed as if he had managed to reach
her in ways that the captain, for all her efforts, could
not. . .well, he had thought they could make things work.

In many respects, they had.  He liked Seven; she was interesting and
determined and unafraid.  But still, their relationship had been a
mistake.  Seven didn't need him.

And *he* didn't need to sit through a long-winded Starfleet ritual
that would serve only to remind him of the seven years they'd all
lost, so far from home.  Kathryn would understand.  He planned to
offer her his congratulations privately, where they wouldn't have a
thousand eyes upon them, and he could leave quickly.

Accordingly, one morning not long before the formal promotion
ceremony, he headed toward her office at Starfleet Headquarters.
Walking along the neat paths, he realized how much he disliked being
there.  Being in Starfleet in the far-off DQ was one thing;
being "Fleet" on Earth was something else again.  He was
too visible, too noticed.  And even his living with Seven had not
been enough to quell the snickering talk about "Voyager's Queen and
Her Commander Consort," as one tabloid had dubbed him and Kathryn.

His eyes on the ground, Chakotay didn't notice the straight-
shouldered woman coming toward him until he was almost abreast of her.

It was Kathryn.

Her eyes lit when she saw him; her mouth curved in the beginning of
the smile he knew so well.

And Chakotay found himself snapping to attention, his hand striking
his head in rigid salute, his face immobile, his volition gone.

"Captain," he heard himself say.

Though he focused on a point behind her, he still saw the smile die,
saw her body stiffen as his had done.  Her expression became almost
instantly unreadable, yet for one excruciating moment, Chakotay had
the feeling she was about to laugh.

But Janeway was Starfleet; she knew all about control.

She looked at him for a measured second, and then, with perfect form,
returned his salute.

"Commander," she said, inclining her head briefly.

Then she continued down the path.

Chakotay slowly lowered his arm.  But he stood there, at attention,
long after she had disappeared.

***

Later that day, he finally found his way to her office.  He'd almost
decided not to go; he felt foolish as hell.  But he'd have to see her
sooner or later, so better to do it now, before it began to look as
if he were avoiding her.  He didn't want any more misunderstandings.

Her assistant showed him in, and Kathryn rose to greet him with a
smile, her manner easy; she'd apparently decided to ignore their
earlier encounter.  But Chakotay wanted to explain.

"About this morning, Kathryn," he said.  "I don't know what came over
me.  It's just. . .out there in the open like that. . .after all this
gossip. . ."

She grimaced sympathetically.  "I know.  Silly, isn't it?  Don't give
it another thought, Chakotay."

And then she was through with the whole topic.  She offered him tea,
inquired after Seven and his current work, accepted his
congratulations on her promotion, assured him that she perfectly
understood his reluctance to attend the formalities.

She even embraced him as he left.  In that moment, as his arms
tightened around her, he was back on Voyager, and Kathryn was both
his prison and his liberation.

***

On the day of the ceremony, Seven got ready and departed with her
usual lack of fuss.  Chakotay spent the morning at a nearby holodeck
recreation center, where he chose the most demanding climbing program
available.  When he emerged a few hours later, he saw that one of the
news screens at the center's café was set on the Starfleet feed.
It was replaying the promotion gala.  Of course.

Despite himself, Chakotay paused to watch.  The audience seemed
overflowing with Voyager crew members.  Harry, his lieutenant's pips
shining.  Tom and B'Elanna.  Sam Wildman.  Damn, it looked as if
every living person who had ever served with Janeway was there.
Tuvok had evidently delayed his return to Vulcan for the occasion,
for there he sat, on the platform next to Kathryn herself.

They all seemed remote, as if they were people he knew only from
afar.  Kathryn especially.  She looked stern in Starfleet grey-and-
black, her hair swept back severely.  Even on the small vidscreen, he
recognized her expression, the one that told him she had retreated
deep inside herself, to the places he had never been able to reach.

Watching her, he knew he was right to have stayed away.  She didn't
need him.


End Part Two of Five




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