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Date: Fri, 16 Jul 2004 11:05:17 -0400
Subject: [ASCEM-S] NEW TOS Joy Heals 1/1 [PG-13]
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Title: Joy Heals


Author: Saavant


Contact: saavaant @ yahoo . com


Series: TOS


Rating: PG-13


Codes: Chapel, Saavik, S/Saa, Saa/m (David)


Part: 1/1


Summary: After "The Search for Spock," Saavik comes to

Archive: Yes please.


Disclaimer: I disclaim Star Trek characters. I
disclaim having invented them. I disclaim to be
profiting monetarily from writing about them. I am not
Roddenberry. I am not Paramount. I am Saavant. So
There.


Note: Inspired by a challenge Farfalla
instant-messaged to me. I couldn't find it in myself
to do exactly what Farf suggested-- Saavik and Sarek
and Amanda wouldn't cooperate-- so I came up with my
own ending, with a side inspiration from a strange
fannish theory about Saavik, David and Spock.

Beta: Djinn. Thanks so much!!




***


Saavik lay on the biobed, exerting all her energy to
stay still while Doctor Chapel moved the tricorder
over her body. The weight of the burden she had slowly
pulled upon herself threatened to crush her. In a
moment, one more piece of medical equipment would
again confirm what she already knew to be true... and
what would throw her future into frightening
uncertainty.

The doctor's voice was gentle. "Saavik, you have my
deepest sympathy for David's death. I lost a fiance
once, and it devastated me."

Saavik was silent.

"The way I survived it was to mourn without letting my
attention be drawn too much away from the pleasant
things in life. While you allow yourself sorrow over
David, you should also allow yourself happiness for
the child. The chemical tests all showed that it is
healthy, and once I've picked up enough of a signal
with the tricorder, you'll be able to see the embryo
on the screen. Think about that, and let yourself
relax a little and see the joy in the situation."

"It is undoubtedly David's child," said Saavik in a
monotone, touching a hand to her still-slender
abdomen.

"Yes," agreed Chapel, looking curiously at her
patient. "We already talked about how the chemical
tests showed more human genetic material than there
would be if Spock were the father."

Saavik allowed herself an exhalation that was not,
quite, a sigh.

"And that is what will ruin me."

There were ten speechless seconds, punctuated by the
calm beeps of machinery and the hum of the tricorder
in Chapel's hand.

"Why do you say that?" the doctor asked at last, a bit
of skin puckering between her eyebrows in concern and
puzzlement.

Saavik closed her eyes, pressed her lips tightly
together, then opened them and began.

"I have nowhere to go now," she said. "I am in no
condition to face the stresses of work; my hybrid
pregnancy is too high-risk. My savings will not cover
living expenses without a continued source of income,
let alone support the child when it is born. Spock,
who housed me until I entered the Academy, still needs
a long time to recover from the fal-tor-pan."

She paused, took a slow breath, and continued. "I do
care for the child, as my only living reminder of
David. I have a strong need to bear it and raise it;
you are correct that it may be what saves me from the
grief of losing him. But in regard to my need for a
place to carry my pregnancy to term and recover enough
to take on the responsibility of supporting the
child... Sarek and Amanda are my only hope. Their home
is the only place I know that would offer the peace
and quiet that I... and my hybrid embryo... will
require."

Chapel tilted her head. "So what is the problem?"

"After the chemical tests came back... I was foolish.
The trauma on Genesis must have corrupted my logic.
For a time, I did not think of the overwhelming
probability that the child's appearance, once born,
would give away its heritage. And I... told Sarek and
Amanda the child was Spock's... so that they would
agree to take me in."

The doctor pressed a few buttons on the tricorder.
"Saavik, I don't see why you felt the need to tell
them that. I have met Sarek and Amanda, and they are
kind, considerate people who value all life equally. I
can't see them refusing their son's protegee a place
to stay, simply because her child isn't his."

"Sarek is logical," Saavik grated, "and logic can be
brutal. You must have studied the biology of many
creatures, doctor, and they all act on the same cruel
logic of nature. There is no logic in supporting
someone who will not pass on one's genes."

"What?" Chapel's head jerked up sharply, and she
stared at Saavik, perplexed. "The Vulcan philosophy is
compassion, not just logic! It's not the same as the
behavior of some wild animal."

"Is it not? Vulcans can be wild animals sometimes,
doctor-- they are not always as compassionate as they
claim to be."

A corner of Chapel's mouth twisted down. "Saavik,
either you have a streak of just plain stubborn
stupidity in you, or Spock has put a lot of unpleasant
ideas in your head about his father. Yes, Sarek once
held a grudge against Spock, but it wasn't brutal
logic or mean-spirited cruelty that was at the heart
of it-- it was compassion. He didn't want Spock in
combat situations. He didn't want his son killing
people. Think of it, Saavik-- Sarek held a grudge
against Spock for years, at what must have been
considerable cost to his own peace of mind, because he
cared about the lives of strangers-- including enemies
of the Federation! What makes you think he'd reject
his own son's friend and student?"

"Sarek's objection to Spock joining Starfleet had as
much to do with his concern for Spock's safety as
anything else. By risking his life in space, Spock was
endangering Sarek's bloodline, and this was an offense
Sarek could not take. And he could not accept being
defied and disobeyed. His own pride and stubbornness
drove him into that grudge. Doctor, Spock did not
force these ideas into my head-- I formed them myself
from close observation of Sarek's character."

The doctor rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say. But
Saavik, even if Sarek wouldn't like the idea, don't
you think Amanda's human sentiments might have
something to say about that?"

"Amanda is his wife. She must obey him."

"What? Amanda is a dutiful wife, yes-- but from all
I've observed, she has plenty of influence over Sarek,
and she knows how to use it!" The doctor gave a short,
hard sigh. "I think the trauma you've gone through is
making you overly bitter, Saavik. Can't you see *any*
promising possibilities?"

Saavik stared unblinkingly at the ceiling. "Not where
none exist. And even if they would have accepted me,
had I told them the child was David's-- they will
certainly condemn me now, because I lied to them. Do
not try to say you have not heard that Vulcans abhor
dishonesty."

"Yes-- but I've also heard that Vulcans will forgive a
little foolishness. And so will humans. If you tell
them the truth, tell them you made a dumb mistake and
lied when you shouldn't have, tell them you're sorry--
I see no reason they'd hold a grudge against you."

"You fail to convince me, doctor."

Chapel bowed her head in frustration. Then, as her
eyes fell on the tricorder, a slow smile crept across
her face. She murmured some quiet expression of
surprise, eyes widening, then crinkling at the corners
in happy amusement.

"Well, maybe this will convince you, Saavik."

And with the push of a button, the screen at the foot
of the bed resolved itself into the image of Saavik's
interior. The shape of the embryo floated in plain
view, red letters at its side spelling out, "Male. 1/4
Vulcan. 1/4 Romulan. 1/2 human." David's child.

But on the other side of the screen was a second
shape-- a second embryo, labeled in the same print as
"Female. 1/2 Vulcan. 1/4 Romulan. 1/4 human."

Chapel broke out into a grin.

And Saavik, in spite of her bitterness, grief and
rage, couldn't help a small, astonished smile of her
own. Was the answer that simple? Sometimes, she
marveled, the universe produced the most amazing
twists of fate...

But it was not quite that simple. Because, besides the
joyful revelation that she had not lied after all, the
truth of Chapel's words was beginning to settle down
upon Saavik.

It *was* her bitterness and grief that had made her
have so little hope about Spock's parents. She had
been foolish to think they would reject her, and all
that she had needed to make her realize it was the
sudden happiness of knowing she had living symbols of
both her love for David and her love for Spock. Yes,
she would always love Spock more as a friend and
mentor than as a mate, but she would care for his
child as devotedly as he had cared for her. And,
although it would be awkward, she knew that Spock,
too, would welcome the little life into the world.

Joy does heal, after all.


END


		
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