Received: from [66.218.67.197] by n40.grp.scd.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 17 Jul 2004 12:18:39 -0000 X-Sender: asc-l@ix.netcom.com X-Apparently-To: ascem-s@yahoogroups.com Received: (qmail 2296 invoked from network); 17 Jul 2004 12:18:36 -0000 Received: from unknown (66.218.66.217) by m4.grp.scd.yahoo.com with QMQP; 17 Jul 2004 12:18:36 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO smtp10.atl.mindspring.net) (207.69.200.246) by mta2.grp.scd.yahoo.com with SMTP; 17 Jul 2004 12:18:36 -0000 Received: from h-66-167-56-30.phlapafg.dynamic.covad.net ([66.167.56.30] helo=katiedell.ix.netcom.com) by smtp10.atl.mindspring.net with esmtp (Exim 3.33 #1) id 1Blo93-0004tJ-00 for ascem-s@yahoogroups.com; Sat, 17 Jul 2004 08:18:25 -0400 Message-Id: <6.0.3.0.2.20040717081658.047abe80@popd.ix.netcom.com> X-Sender: asc-l@popd.ix.netcom.com X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Version 6.0.3.0 To: ascem-s@yahoogroups.com X-eGroups-Remote-IP: 207.69.200.246 From: ASC Archive Team MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEM-S@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEM-S-owner@yahoogroups.com Delivered-To: mailing list ASCEM-S@yahoogroups.com Precedence: bulk List-Unsubscribe: Date: Sat, 17 Jul 2004 08:17:11 -0400 Subject: [ASCEM-S] FF: Captain Proton & the Planet of Lesbians 3/3 (VOY, J/7, P/K, T/7) Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-ELNK-AV: 0 Title: Captain Proton and the Planet of Lesbians (Part Three) Author: Odon Fandom: Star Trek Voyager/Captain Proton uber. Pairings: Janeway/Seven, Paris/Kes, Kim/Paris, Torres/Seven. Summary: Can Captain Proton defeat the evil Queen Sapphia and her Rated: NC-17. Contains explicit homosexual and heterosexual scenes. If this offends you, don't read any further! Disclaimer: No profit is intended in the writing of this story. Star Trek: Voyager and its characters are the property of Paramount and Viacom. Send feedback to odon05@hotmail.com. Archiving is welcome, but please try and contact me first. My thanks to Meagan for her beta work. ______________________________________________________________ THE ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN PROTON! CHAPTER 71: DILDO OF DOOM! (This episode is sponsored by Delta Coffee. Do you feel like the woes of over a hundred people are resting on your shoulders? Are you stranded so far from home it'll take an eternity to get back? Is your sex life a mere memory, and your personality changing from one week to the next? Well a nice, soothing, triple-strength mug of Delta will cure all your ills! One swig will have you taking off, just like Captain Proton! Delta Coffee, the Number One choice of all starship captains!) Throbbing with an elemental force, the phallic fastness of the Fortress of Dildo thrust its way into the Venusian sky. Its crystal surfaces glowed with power, casting a blood-red light over the crouching forms of Proton, Aylarna, and the Wood Nymphs. They were hidden in the undergrowth at the edge of the Golden Jungle. Proton had retrieved several rayguns from his rocket ship, but most of the Nymphs were still armed with their antiquated beam weapons, or primitive blowguns. Proton hefted his rocket pack. "Remember Kis, no heroics; that's my department. You've only got to draw the guards out of the fortress while I plant the President's device." Kis placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, and a groping hand on his buttocks. "Be careful." Proton grinned. "Where's the fun in that?" He turned to Princess Aylarna and sliced through her bonds with a knife. There was a collective gasp amongst the Nymphs as he held out a power rod. "I'll have a better chance of success if I take someone who knows the layout of that place." Aylarna made no effort to take back her weapon. "Why should I help save your male chauvinist planet?" "Because there are billions of women on Earth," said Proton. "Of all different races, creeds and bra sizes, living and co-existing with men. *That's* what your Queen Sapphia finds so threatening. Should they die because of her hatred?" Aylarna stared at him for a long moment, then reached out and took the power rod. "Alright," she said reluctantly, "but don't expect me to do the mopping up!" Proton pulled his aviator goggles down over his eyes. "OK babe, just wrap your arms around me and hold on, 'cause we're going for one hell of a ride." "I've heard that one before," muttered Aylarna, hugging him tight. Smoke and flame belched from the nozzles of Proton's rocket pack, and with a deafening roar they blasted into the air. "Dammit Proton, your control knobs are digging into my tits!" yelled Aylarna, as they rocketed towards the top of the Fortress of Dildo. "You think *you've* got problems? My ass is being roasted like a Christmas turkey!" He peered ahead at the onrushing face of the colossus. "Hold on, I'm aiming for the last window on the left!" "ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU'RE GOING TO FLY THROUGH A PLATE GLASS WINDOW AT 100 MILES AN HOUR?" "Sure doll, happens all the TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!" In a deafening explosion of glass they smashed through, ricocheting around the room like a manic pinball. "TURN THE (CENSORED) ROCKETS OFF!" screamed Aylarna, as her head smacked into a wall for the third time. "I CAN'T GET MY HAND PAST YOUR (CENSORED) TITS!" shouted Proton. With an almighty *sploosh!* they landed right in the middle of an enormous vat of sticky white fluid. "What the hell *is* this stuff?" asked Aylarna, wiping the glutinous substance from her face. "Mayonnaise?" "Errr, I don't think it's mayonnaise, exactly . . . " Two identical pretty heads appeared over the edge of the vat, pouting in fury. "You DILLdos!" fumed Megii. "You've ruined our latest supply of Manseed!" "We spent ages draining the Earth Man!" raged Jenii. "Now we'll have to start all over again!" "WHAT?" said Proton, spitting semen from his mouth. "You mean I'm swimming around in Buster's cum?" He whipped out a sperm-soaked weapon of formidable dimensions. "Release him at once, you Binary Bitches of Badness!" "Ooh!" gasped Megii, shivering in mock fear. "That's the biggest hairdryer I've ever seen." "It's not a hairdryer!" snapped Proton. "This is a Mark Five Xendrahernion-Powered Thermonuclear Hand Cannon!" He pressed the firing stud and a blast of hot air erupted from its nozzle. "It's a hairdryer," said Aylarna dryly. "Damn Constance! Why must she always stash her stuff in the arms locker?" "Such a *handsome* specimen," sighed Jenii. "Yes, it's a *shame* we have to kill him!" purred Megii, as she aimed her power rod. Aylarna quickly shoved down the nozzle of Constance's hairdryer. A great shower of semen blasted against the sides of the vat, spraying into the faces of Megii and Jenii. They reeled backwards at this unexpected facial, struggling to wipe the sticky fluid from their eyes. Proton and Aylarna leaped from the vat, and in a flurry of fisticuffs knocked the terrible twins unconscious. Captain Proton rushed to the table on which his loyal sidekick was bound. "Buster, are you OK? What did those fiends do to you?" "Proton?" asked Kincaid in a quavering voice. His hair had turned grey and ten years had been added to his face. "Is it really you?" "It's me, old friend," said Proton, unsnapping the steel shackles. "You saved my life!" gasped Kincaid, ripping open his shirt to reveal his naked chest. "Take me, my gallant hero!" "Errr . . . I guess whatever they did to him must be, er . . . affecting his brain!" stammered Proton. "I'm really not into that sort of thing!" "Yeah right," scoffed Aylarna. "Strutting around in a leather jacket and tight pants, armed with a big hairdryer. We all know which side your bread's buttered on!" * * * * * Clasping the power rods they'd taken from the Succubus, Proton and Buster crept into the amphitheatre of the Fortress of Dildo. Aylarna followed holding the Photo-Stimulated Non-coherent Diamet . . . the whatever-it-was in her hands. "Where is everyone?" asked Buster, looking around the rows of concentric seats. "Didn't you say something about a royal wedding?" "Sapphia must be preparing to fire the Beta Disintegrator," said Aylarna. "It's as your President said; this place is a focal point for the energies of an entire planet. Anyone standing here when the weapon was fired would be killed." "Obliterated, actually," said an all-too familiar voice. The three intruders looked up in shock. Hovering above them in her diamond throne was Queen Sapphia herself, looking every inch the supervillain as she sat stroking her pussy. Her titanium battle armour gleamed in the light of the power-charged walls. "The jig's up, your Majesty!" said Proton, pointing his weapon at her. "In the name of the Patrol Fleet of the Incorporated Planets, I demand you renounce the use of weapons of mass destruction, sign a comprehensive environmental protection treaty with the Wood Nymphs, make a formal expression of regret for the Martian genocide, and give up your autocratic rule for a constitutional democracy incorporating elected representatives from all previously disenfranchised sexualities and genders." "Anything else?" asked the Queen sarcastically. "Nah, that'll do for the moment." "You underestimate the power of the Dyke Side!" snarled Sapphia, clenching a leather-clad fist. "Your feeble efforts are nothing but cuntlicks to me. Even as we speak, my Amazons are exterminating the hated Nymphs once and for all. Princess Aylarna will suffer the Death of a Thousand Penetrations for her treachery. And as for you, Proton . . . I have an old acquaintance who'd like to see you again. You may come in, my Edible One." A door on the opposite side of the amphitheatre slid open and Constance Goodheart entered, her high-heeled boots clicking on the crystal floor. Proton and Buster gasped at the changes made to their beautiful secretary. Her golden hair was done up in a tight pleat behind her neck. A silver bodysuit clung to her curves like a Grand Prix racing driver. Robotic implants encircled her left eye and hand. She clasped a power rod like a staff of office. "Constance!" cried Buster, rushing forwards. Constance raised her power rod. Red light blasted from its tip, striking Buster in the chest. He crumpled to the floor, limbs twitching. "My designation is Seventh of Mine," she said coldly. "Resistance is futile. You will be castrated." "Out of my way, Proton!" snarled Aylarna. "I've got a score to settle with Busty the Vamp-Screwer here." The princess drew her power rod from her belt and advanced on Constance. "OK bitch, we'll see whose tits are real." A scarlet beam streaked out, aimed right at those hated breasts. "Take that, Twin Peaks of Evil!" But instead of writhing in pain, an unmistakable cry of pleasure erupted from the blonde beauty. She seized her breasts in her hands, massaging them violently. "What the . . . ?" exclaimed Aylarna, looking down at her rod. Suddenly her whole body shuddered from a massive climax as Constance's power beam enveloped her. "OH MY GODDESS!" "Aylarna, you've still got the Photo-Stimulated Non-resonating . . . I mean the Photo-Modified Non-coherent . . . the technothingy!" shouted Proton. "It's altering the frequency of your weapons!" He ducked for cover as twin raybeams blasted a hole where he'd been standing a microsecond before. "How dare you violate the laws of physics!" fumed Sapphia, her nuclear nipples throbbing in frustration. "Don't you know that even heroes can't move faster than the speed of light?" "Happens all the time, doll." Aylarna clearly hadn't heard Proton, because she was firing another pain beam at Constance. "Perfect mate, my ass! Take that, Roboslut!" "Your attempts . . . to harm me . . . are inefficient!" gasped Constance. She fired her rod again, this time striking Aylarna between the legs. "You will be . . . stimulated!" "OOOOOHHHHHH!" moaned the princess, as her powder blue panties flashflooded. "You'll have . . . to do better . . . Bimbo-Borg!" Another beam shot out, and Constance's catsuit burst apart from the instantaneous protrusion of her cyborg nipples. "There's one force in the universe even you cannot defeat, Proton!" said Queen Sapphia. "You escaped my Toothed Vagina, but you won't survive this!" A loud tone echoed throughout the gallery and the circular floor began to slide apart. Like Apopis arising from the depths of the underworld it came; a huge metal serpent, the blood-red glow of the amphitheatre shining on its gleaming surface like fire on mercury. It had a sinuous body of concentric silver bands; its bulbous head was studded with hundreds of sensor domes. Proton felt his bones shake from ultrasonic vibrations as the creature probed for its prey. "Feeling a little inadequate?" sneered Sapphia, her throne ascending to the heights of the amphitheatre. "Let's see how the mighty Proton fares against my Robo-Dildo!" "It's what you do with it that counts!" shouted Proton. He fired a blast from his power rod at maximum setting, but the beam merely bounced off the robot's mirrored surface. "The damn thing's got protection," said Proton. "I'm fucked!" "No, but you're about to be!" said Sapphia, smirking at the pitiful performance of his rod. "Drill them all, my beautiful Dildo of Death!" The head of Robo-Dildo swung towards the struggling figures of Aylarna and Constance. Ignorant of their peril, the princess had Constance pinned down, and was slowly inserting a throbbing power rod deep inside her sopping vagina. "Assimilate this, Boobarella!" snarled Aylarna, firing her weapon. Constance's body arched as the point-blank blast overloaded her pleasure circuits. "Pleasure . . . is . . . irrelevant!" she gasped. "You . . . will be . . . vibrated!" Captain Proton fired one futile blast after another, desperate to divert the attentions of the remorseless mechanoid. But with programmed resolution it crawled up the steps towards the two women. Massive steel rectal insertors and thick rubber clitoral stimulators deployed for action. The ringed segments of its gleaming shaft began to rotate at six different speeds. "Excellent, excellent!" cackled the Queen. "Prepare to be screwed to death, my lovelies. Your deaths will be exquisite!" "AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Constance Goodheart, as she finally noticed the mechanical monster sliding towards them . . . or perhaps because Aylarna was now using her rod to vigorously spank her buttocks. The vibrations of Robo-Dildo were shaking the entire amphitheatre. Its rotating segments were a confusing blur of motion. It reared itself up a third of its length, ready to plunge down upon its helpless victims . . . All of a sudden the segments whirred to a halt, and Robo-Dildo slowly slumped to the floor. "What . . . what did you do?" gasped Queen Sapphia. "Nothing," replied Proton. "I think your dildo's batteries have just run out. Overuse, I'll bet." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Queen Sapphia. "No more foreplay, Proton! I shall blast your cities one after the other, until Mankind is wiped from the face of the Earth!" She ducked behind her throne as Proton fired at her. The beam reflected harmlessly off its surface. "Adamantium armour," said Proton. "I've got to do something!" "No shit!" said Aylarna, as the steps beneath her started to glow bright red. "We've got to get out of here!" "Which city should I blast first?" Sapphia shouted down at them. "Canberra? Ha! That wouldn't be any loss. Grozny? I doubt they'd notice the difference. Los Angeles? I'll make those movie execs pay dearly for removing the lesbian references from 'Fried Green Tomatoes'! No, I'm not thinking big enough! I shall destroy your entire country, Proton! I shall destroy . . . THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!" "We've got to stop her!" said Buster. "Quick, the President's device! He said we've got to place it at the focal point of the Beta Disintegrator." "An inefficient plan," said Constance. "According to my calculations, the focal point is up there." She pointed to where the queen's throne now hovered, fifty feet above them. By now the entire amphitheatre was radiating a fierce scarlet glow. A loud throbbing began to pound against their ears like galaxy-sized drum. "No more talk shows!" the Queen was screaming maniacally. "No more Disneyland! No more 'do you want fries with that?'" "You lot clear out!" shouted Proton. He tightened the straps of his rocket pack. "I'll handle this myself." "What are you going to do?" yelled Aylarna, as she handed him the President's device. It was a small egg-shaped object, its Trenasian crystal burning within like a fiery eye. "What we men do best. Something brave and incredibly stupid!" "Well you're not doing it alone!" shouted Aylarna. "It's time you realised that women are just as stupid as men . . . I mean just as brave . . . ah bugger it, I'm coming with you." She threw her arms around him, crushing her breasts against his control panel. Proton's rocket pack blasted to life, hurtling them into the air. Queen Sapphia, hiding behind her throne in case someone tried another shot, didn't see them until they were almost on top of her. Raybeams blasted from her Nipples of Power, but the rocketeers were moving too fast! The throne rang like a bell as they crashed into it. It wobbled precariously, its gravity neutralisers whining in protest at the added weight. Captain Proton was pitched over the side, holding on by just a single hand! "Unfaithful slut!" cried Aylarna, as she aimed a punch at Sapphia's head. The blow was absorbed by the Queen's formidable beehive. "You're a lousy screw as well!" The throne lurched again and she fell backwards, her hands scrabbling for a purchase. "Traitorous cow!" shouted Sapphia. "That's the problem with dykes, Proton. They want to have their pussy and eat it too!" She drove a vicious kick at him, her titanium-spiked heel knocking a massive chip out of the adamantium. Proton quickly seized her ankle and pulled himself back onto the throne. "Such strength, such determination!" sneered Sapphia. "Why engage in this senseless conflict, Proton? Join me as my queen. After all, you certainly dress like one!" She seized his testicles in her gauntleted fists and exerted ball-crushing pressure. Proton promptly sang a soprano that would have made the President of Earth envious. "Let go of him, you bitch!" shouted Aylarna, pounding away at the Queen's armour. "And by the way, I faked every orgasm!" Her fist slammed down on a red button and the crotch-door sprang open. "Can't you two just kiss and make out?" gasped Proton. Clutching the President's device, he thrust his fist deep inside the Queen's Battle Panties. Sapphia's eyes bulged as she felt the egg-shaped device shoved inside her cunt. She let go off Proton and began scrabbling between her legs. Proton grabbed the princess and leaped off the throne, his rocket pack roaring into life. The throbbing of the Beta Disintegrator had grown to deafening levels; by now the walls were glowing white hot. With stomach-churning speed they hurtled towards the nearest exit. Just as they reached it light burst from every surface in the amphitheatre, as if a massive sun had sprung to life indoors. Blinding sheets of lightning flashed upwards to the Queen's throne, destroying it instantaneously. Proton and Aylarna roared through the doorway, pursued by a crackling wave of energy that rippled from the crystal walls. In a microsecond it had caught up and swept over them, flowing on to envelop Buster Kincaid and Constance Goodheart, the battling Amazons and Wood Nymphs, the Giant Toothed Vagina and Hideous Gobblsnutch, and every living creature for miles around - all experienced the biggest and most intense orgasm in the history of the universe! * * * * * Captain Proton's rocket ship stood ready for launch, gentle wisps of smoke puffing from its engines. The women of Venus had gathered around for a final farewell, the naked pink bodies of the Wood Nymphs mixed in amongst the colourful tunics of the Amazons. "And so the people of Venus and Earth have finally come together," said the Divine Prophetess Chukotai, "in one giant orgasm. Since that climatic moment we have discovered that our differences can indeed be overcome - by means of adapters, lubricants, and various vibrating objects. Now all Venusians are free to explore their sexuality according to their own personal orientations. And it is all thanks to you, Captain Proton. In your honour we will change the first letter of our planet to a P." "ALL HAIL CAPTAIN PROTON!" cried the assembled multitudes. "HERO OF THE PLANET PENUS!" "Err . . . on second thoughts," said Chukotai, "I think we better leave it as it is." "Have they found Queen Sapphia?" asked the Hideous Gobblsnutch. The multi-limbed creature was carrying enough luggage to fill an airport baggage facility, yet it still had enough hands left to comb both heads, do up two disgustingly awful ties, and brush every one of its six mouths simultaneously. "No," said Aylarna. "Her body was at the focal point of the blast. She must have been completely obliterated." "I wouldn't be too sure," said Proton. "I've a nasty feeling we haven't seen the last of her . . . " He looked down as his wristphone gave a loud buzz. "Buster Kincaid to Captain Proton. We're receiving an urgent transmission from Earth . . . and can you please tell Constance to stop nagging me?" In the background Proton could hear his secretary saying: "The course you have plotted is inefficient, your insistence on calling me 'babe' is illogical, your choice of entertainment for a date is frivolous, your infatuation with my breasts is irrational, and your character development sucks totally." "Sounds like you two should get married. Patch it through to my wristphone." The President of Earth appeared on the wristphone's imagiser, naked and covered in sweat. "Captain Proton!" exclaimed the President. "Thank God I was able to contact you! There's been another strike on Earth, even more nefarious than the last. The entire United States of America has been struck by some kind of Orgasmic Ray! Depraved orgies are taking place all over the country. Sex tourists are flooding across our borders to get in on the action. We've been humiliated before the entire world! You must find the person responsible for this, do you hear me Proton? I intend to have him severely punished!" "Er . . . Mr President," stammered Proton. "I've, er, really got no idea who might be . . . umm . . . responsible, and ah . . . it's a bit much to expect me to always solve your problems . . . " "Dammit Proton, I'm giving you a direct order! It's probably some sinister plot by Doctor Chaoticaarrrrrrrggggghhh!" cried the President, his eyes widening as if something very long and hard had just been shoved up his rear end. The imagiser blinked off. "You know Gobblsnutch, I think it would be wise if we dropped you off first," said Proton. "Give things a chance to settle down back home. How about I take you to meet the Multi-Headed Mutant Monstrosity of Mondova IV?" "Ohhhh, I can't wait!" "Farewell, Captain Proton!" said Kis, sweeping him into a passionate embrace. "The world is hollow, now I have touched your fly. Will I ever see you again?" "Of course not, I'm a man . . . oops, I mean: who knows if the fates will bring us together." Proton turned to Aylarna, holding out his hand. "So long, Princess . . . or should that be Queen Aylarna?" "As long as it's not 'doll'," she replied, "you won't have to worry about my knee in your crotch." With some difficulty, Captain Proton pushed the Hideous Gobblsnutch through the ship's hatchway. The crowd backed off as powerful engines thundered into life. Great gouts of flame erupted from the nozzles and with a deafening roar Proton's rocket ship wobbled its way into the sky. The Venusians stood watching until the Earth vessel had vanished into the misty clouds of their world. Then, as if in response to an unheard signal, they turned en masse towards the Divine Prophetess of the Wood Nymphs. Chukotai reached up to the wooden mask that concealed her features, and slowly removed it. "ALL HAIL QUEEN SAPPHIA!" cried the Amazons and Wood Nymphs as one. "RULER OF THE PLANET VENUS, GIVER OF PAIN AND PLEASURE, KEEPER OF THE NIPPLES OF POWER, CRUSHER OF THE TESTICLES OF MARS!" "And soon, of Earth!" said Sapphia, hurling aside her mask. The manface shattered to pieces as it struck the ground. "Proton should have listened when warned of how *treacherous* your people are, my deceptively innocent Kis. It shall be as I promised. Soon your Nymphomaniacs will have all the Men they desire." "But my Queen," said Aylarna, throwing a disdainful look at the Wood Nymph. "Why engage in this charade when we could simply blast Earth into extinction?" "Do you think I would wish to destroy a planet on which so many of our sisters are held in dyed blondage? Little does Proton know that he carries to his beloved patriarchy the seeds of its destruction. Concealed inside the voluptuous body of Seventh of Mine are millions of self-replicating nanoprobes. They will infiltrate the women of Earth, spreading intelligence, rebelliousness, and a chronic phobia of hair care products. The assassination of the leadership of Earth will be the signal for a worldwide feminist uprising. Our invasion force will be greeted as liberators!" "Assassination?" "Yes! As you have undoubtedly noticed, the skintight garment worn by Seventh of Mine keeps her formidable breasts under tremendous pressure. When Proton and his crew are decorated before the United Earth Congress, her brain implants will trigger an instantaneous release of her catsuit, destroying everything in a ten mile radius!" Queen Sapphia gave a loud peal of evil laughter. "I shall clutch the twin worlds of Earth and Venus in my hands like a woman's tight, dimpled buttocks!" she cried. "The choice speci-Mans we will preserve in cryogenic chambers for their Manseed and the pleasure of the Wood Nymphs. The remainder will be neutered and kept as slaves to move heavy pieces of furniture. Assemble my armies! Fuel my rocket ships! Oil my Battle Panties! We are going . . . to Earth!" CAN PROTON SAVE THE WORLD FROM AN INVADING ARMY OF DILDO-WIELDING DYKES? WILL THE UNITED EARTH CONGRESS BE MASSACRED BY THE MURDEROUS MAMMARIES OF THE SINISTER SEVENTH OF MINE? WILL PROTON END HIS DAYS AS A PRICKLESS PIANO-PUSHER? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK IN . . . CAPTAIN PROTON AND THE BLONDE BOMBSHELL! Messages from this list are mirrored on the ASCEM newsgroup. Read http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML/files/faq.txt for more information about your subscription to ASCEM/L. Yahoo! Groups Links