Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!c01.usenetserver.com!c03.atl99!atl-c02.usenetserver.com!news.usenetserver.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!newsread.com!newsstand.newsread.com!POSTED.monger.newsread.com!not-for-mail Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Sender: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: From: "Penumbra" MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEML@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEML-owner@yahoogroups.com Subject: NEW TNG Stages of Immortality (P) [PG] (challenge) Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Lines: 157 Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 12:55:03 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.198.142.218 X-Complaints-To: Abuse Role , We Care X-Trace: monger.newsread.com 1093265703 209.198.142.218 (Mon, 23 Aug 2004 08:55:03 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 08:55:03 EDT Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:82953 X-Received-Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 05:55:25 PDT (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title: Stages of Immortality Author: Penumbra Contact: penumbra at clinched dot net Series: TNG Rating: PG Codes: challenge, P Part: 1/1 Summary: "He's not Data, yet he is; can one be dead, when one is still liberties. If you haven't seen "Nemesis," this may not make much sense (and it may not make much sense, period). "There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~ Ana=EFs Nin ------------------------------------- Stages of Immortality by Penumbra (c) 2004 ------------------------------------- "On days like this, I regret that William is not here any more." The Titan, Picard recalls, is somewhere on the outskirts of the Neutral Zone, engaged in the curious pas de deux Starfleet dances with the Romulans. "Don't tell me I don't listen as well as he does." Drawing his attention from nothingess and back to Guinan, Picard attempts a smile. He knows he hasn't fooled her for a moment. "He could not see as well into me as you do, my friend, yet he was always willing to endure my ramblings." "And your Berlioz." Picard laughs, and he finds the sound oddly cold. "I wouldn't call him willing on those occasions, although he was always amused by the histrionics involved in opera. 'Hell if I can figure out what they're crying on about, but at least they're doing it with lots of oomph,' was how he explained it to me once." "After some glasses of synthenol?" "After some bottles of Ch=E2teau Picard '67." "I see," Guinan hums. Her smile always makes Picard think of the passage of time and other eternal inevitabilities. "So I take it you're here to babysit him?" Turning on his barstool, he finds B-4 in the crowd with ease. The android is sitting at one of the window tables of Ten Forward, and the tableau he forms makes Picard's heart ache anew. B-4's gestures are like those of an animated mannequin; Commander La Forge's are slow and careful, his face drawn in unnamed anguish, as he watches this mockery of his friend from the next table. Picard knows exactly how La Forge feels and is quietly glad he can turn away to face Guinan again, instead of being forced to follow this tragedy of a memory come to life. "I have Commander La Forge for babysitting duties," he remarks with some asperity. "I'm here merely to have a drink." "Not to mention flagellate yourself over Data." Guinan's words are a statement of fact, not a question, and Picard grimaces ruefully. She has always had the virtue of seeing into the heart of matters. "And to flagellate myself over Data's demise, yes." "What good will that do? Why are you doing this to yourself?" "Because I knew him! I knew of the emergency transport device and I knew him better than any living soul, yet I chose not to stop him. I didn't even try, Guinan." The despair and confusion are evident in his voice and they make Guinan pour him another drink. The alcohol is a sticky, orange liquid of unknown origins; it burns down his throat with satisfaction when he swallows it. "So why didn't you stop him?" Picard sighs, unoffended, for her query was not unkind. "Perhaps, if I were to know that, it wouldn't hurt so much to see it," he said, glancing over his shoulder at B-4. "Him, Jean-Luc. Him." Rueful, Picard focuses on his drink. "Him," he agrees and swallows the viscous alcohol. "It. Him. I can't tell who he is, and that's what bothers me -- the uncertainty. He's not Data, yet he is; can one be dead, when one is still alive?" "Of all of us," Guinan says, and there is a reflective satisfaction to her voice, "it seems befitting for Data to be the one to blur the line between life and immortality." "That was his singular ability. Somehow, knowing that, it makes my decision seem even worse even though as his captain, I did everything right and by the book." Picard sets down his glass and wipes the condensation wetting his fingers on a napkin. His hands shake almost imperceptibly. "As his friend, however, I am but a miserable wretch...a shadow of a man. I don't even know whether to arrange for a proper memorial service for Data because, well, there he sits," he says, gesturing in the general direction of B-4's table. "He chose this path for himself." Guinan's hand is warm on his arm. "It was his to choose." "But I was the one who let him die!" His raised voice draws a few curious glances and so he lowers it. "I let him die, Guinan. He was the most steadfast man I have known, a Rock of Gibraltar in all my storms. I knew with absolute certainty that he would come and rescue me and, God help my soul, I let him." "If you regret it so much, why did you, then?" Picard smiles, and it's the first time in days he has done so; the expression feels alien to him, his face like a mask in a Greek farce. He has allowed Data to die, and though he desperately wants to believe otherwise, he has done it with the Universe's blessing. "Because of the kind of a man that he was," Picard hears himself say. "Because he deserved no less." Guinan nods, and it warms his heart that she understands; he's certain Riker would've understood, too. To have denied Data this experience -- his exercise in death -- would have been to deny him this proof of his immortality. Picard glances at B-4 again and when he turns back, he finds his drink re-filled and Guinan with a glass in her hand. "To the only man I've ever known to have the strength to reach out and touch the face of God." Picard touches her glass with his. "That, and much more." "I always did wonder," Guinan says as she sets her untouched drink down and places her palms on the bartop, "how his quest for humanity seemed to take him so far beyond it -- to things the rest of us can't comprehend and can only guess at." The drink traces a fiery path down Picard's throat as he swallows it in one hard gulp. When he speaks, his voice is thick with the poison and with his fresh sorrow. "From the day I met him, I envied him for that very reason." ----------------------- End of part 1/1. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML. NewMessage: