Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!prodigy.com!news.glorb.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!newsread.com!newsstand.newsread.com!POSTED.newshog.newsread.com!not-for-mail Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Sender: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: From: "Elizabeth Helena" MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEML@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEML-owner@yahoogroups.com Subject: NEW DS9 "Accidental Homicide " Mea Culpa Challenge (G, O, Qu) [PG-13] 1/1 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Lines: 110 Date: Fri, 03 Sep 2004 04:55:04 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.198.142.218 X-Complaints-To: Abuse Role , We Care X-Trace: newshog.newsread.com 1094187304 209.198.142.218 (Fri, 03 Sep 2004 00:55:04 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 03 Sep 2004 00:55:04 EDT Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:83398 X-Received-Date: Thu, 02 Sep 2004 21:55:08 PDT (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title: Accidental Homicide Author: Elizabeth Helena Series: DS9 Codes: G, O, Qu, challenge response, humour? Rating: PG-13 because children shouldn't be exposed to stories that are shorter than their headers. Oh yeah, and see the warning :-). Warning: Character death again, but much less bloody than the one in "Targ Meat." Besides he really did ask for it! Spoilers: Minor spoiler for the third season episode "The Die is Cast," medium-sized spoilers for the season four episode "The Way of the Warrior" (the infamous root beer scene in particular), and super-sized spoilers for season four's "Body Parts." Lexicon Alert: A Vicarian Razorback is some sort of vicious beastie that Garak mentioned during the taunting stage of his torture of Odo in "The Die is Cast." EMP's are Emergency Medical Personnel, a CMO is a Chief Medical Officer (aka UST or Unstoppable Sex Toy), and an acute myocardial infarction (or AMI) is supposedly a heart attack. But what do I know, I'm a B.A., not a M.D. :-). Disclaimer: If these characters and settings left me alone, I'd stop writing about them. I wouldn't stop stalking them, but I'd stop writing about them. Summary: Mea Culpa challenge response: What if Quark hadn't cancelled Dedication: To Thanatos, without whom I would have forgotten about my smart ass comment on the garakbashir list that unexpectedly evolved into this story. Further Thanks to: I was also inspired by Stephen's recent comment about the insidiousness of DS9 and Melissa's brilliant "Deafiant" series (yep, the extra 'a' is supposed to be there, much to Captain Bashir's chagrin). Feedback: Other than "DS9 is 'wormhole fodder' no matter what you do, bitch," feedback is always welcome :-P. Archiving: I'll probably only refuse permission to Lyrastar and Sorlak's "TOS rules, DS9 drools" site :-). Appropriate Quote Under the Circumstances: Garak: Ah - you want to be surprised. Quark: Exactly! I want to wake up in the Divine Treasury and have no idea how I got there. Garak: I see. Perhaps that can be arranged. Quark: Really? Garak: You have my word. You'll never know what hit you. "Body Parts," Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Accidental Homicide "Constable, I'm truly sorry," Garak insisted, "but it was an accident!" "Hmph," Odo grunted. The Cardassian prowled the length of the holding cell like a caged Vicarian Razorback. "How was I supposed to know that Quark had a heart condition?" "Garak, I wouldn't put anything past you." "Could you at least allow me to change my clothes? It's embarrassing to be locked up like this." Unimpressed by the tailor's melodramatics, Odo suggested, "Perhaps you should have thought about that before you committed your - what did you call it?" "A practical joke - it's a human custom Dr. Bashir introduced me to. He assured me that they were highly amusing and perfectly harmless." Determining that further questioning would be pointless, Odo left the aggrieved Cardassian to his pacing, and returned to his Security desk. Once again, he reviewed Doctor Bashir's report and the witness statements, hoping that he'd missed something the first time. Minutes later, the Changeling filed his official security report. "Commence Station Security Log, Stardate 49953.6: At precisely 14:00 hours today, the Cardassian Elim Garak entered Quark's Bar dressed in a gold Starfleet uniform with Commander rank pips. According to several witnesses, Garak approached the bar and requested a root beer from the Ferengi proprietor, Quark, who immediately collapsed. Subsequent efforts by the station's EMPs and CMO failed to revive Quark, and the autopsy revealed that the Ferengi had died instantaneously of an acute myocardial infarction. After reviewing the evidence, I have no choice but to confirm Doctor Bashir's finding of accidental death. Charges of public mischief are hereby filed against Elim Garak. End log." Inside the holding cell, Garak relaxed on the bench and allowed himself a smile of satisfaction. - end - ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML. NewMessage: