Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!border2.nntp.dca.giganews.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!newsread.com!newsstand.newsread.com!POSTED.monger.newsread.com!not-for-mail Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Sender: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: From: "Nick" MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEML@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEML-owner@yahoogroups.com Subject: NEW TNG "Hard Won: Revelations" 1/2 [NC-17] P/Q Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Lines: 759 Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 16:55:08 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.198.142.218 X-Complaints-To: Abuse Role , We Care X-Trace: monger.newsread.com 1096390508 209.198.142.218 (Tue, 28 Sep 2004 12:55:08 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 12:55:08 EDT Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:84892 X-Received-Date: Tue, 28 Sep 2004 09:55:09 PDT (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title: Hard Won: Revelations Author: Nick (plan9channel7 at witty dot com) Series: TNG Rating: NC-17 Codes: P/Q=20 Part: 1/2 Feedback: Yes, please. Here, there and everywhere. Summary: Beginning of a story arc that will continue in subsequent=20 possibly be a good thing. Could it? Author's Note: I'm a slash journeyman, but this is my first foray=20 into Treksmut, so be gentle. ;) Thanks to Sandra for the canon beta;=20 I would have embarrassed myself far more without her.=20 Disclaimer: I don't own them but they're too hot not to play with. I=20 made it up for love, not money. Archive: Wherever, so long as my name stays attached. Will=20 eventually make it to my website at:=20 http://www.geocities.com/pompadour_slim/ The negotiations were not going well. It was beyond imagining,=20 Picard thought, that this newly discovered race did not share some=20 common ancestor with the Ferengi. He had spent so much time=20 diffusing the explosive turmoil brought on by shameless sniping and=20 back-biting within each faction that inter-faction discussion had=20 hardly even begun a full three weeks after the Enterprise committed=20 itself to orbit around the tiny, green planet of Drol-4.=20 At first, the landscape had seemed promising. After all, they had=20 nowhere very pressing to be once their negotiations were concluded,=20 and if all went well there was every possibility of a planet leave.=20 Few of the crew had not considered, however briefly, what a delight=20 it would be to spend leave on a lush, vegetation-rich planet - to=20 sit in the shade of a leafy plant that was made of something other=20 than light and trickery. Data, though, charmingly oblivious to the=20 fact that he was once again the bearer of bad news, had nipped that=20 fantasy in the bud, as it were. The atmosphere, it seemed, was=20 seventy-eight percent carbon dioxide and therefore entirely lacking=20 in support for anyone on board the Enterprise. Anyone, that was,=20 except Data. Picard himself had been bothered but not surprised=20 when, the irony not being lost on his command staff, the android had=20 been subjected to more than the usual amount of teasing and foul=20 moods in the last days before the negotiations officially began.=20 But that had only been the beginning. Though the Drols were an=20 elegantly built race, tall and slender, with an almost luminescent=20 tinge to their soft blue skin, their culture was utterly at odds=20 with their appearance. At first Picard had snapped at himself for=20 being so seduced by his own cultural norms as to even have such a=20 thought, but as time wore on, such lofty ideals in the face of the=20 political carnage he was trying to mediate only made him want to=20 laugh maniacally. Or take a phaser to his temple. Or -- and this=20 seemed so much better for the Universe at large -- take a phaser to=20 the entire Drol assembly.=20 They had bickered and scoffed and snorted and flailed during the=20 discussion of where the formal negotiations ought to be held. It was=20 true that occasionally conflicting customs and interests made these=20 questions difficult, but never had Captain Picard seen such a=20 display of petulance and general unpleasantness in all of his years=20 of space exploration. Ultimately, the warring factions -- if they=20 could be said to be 'warring' when they never actually got around to=20 making war because neither side could agree with itself on how to go=20 about it -- had acquiesced to the captain's suggestion that they=20 conduct the negotiations aboard the Enterprise. He had thought it a=20 victory, if a small one, to have made them agree on anything at all.=20 That is, until the representatives had beamed aboard in the clunky,=20 awkward and obviously uncomfortable spacesuits which kept the oxygen- rich atmosphere of the ship from irritating their skin and lungs. If=20 Picard had ever been so recklessly hopeful as to imagine that at=20 least their demeanors could not get any worse, he had been wrong.=20 The suits were hot, apparently, and the insulation itched. A=20 complaint here or there would not have been especially bothersome,=20 but those facts were, as it turned out, the entire content of the=20 first ambassadorial meeting.=20 After three weeks, all that Picard had been able to determine was=20 that an artifact of apparently no intrinsic value had been unearthed=20 in an area claimed by both sides -- an area which had itself been so=20 lacking in value that neither faction had made the effort to=20 populate or defend it. The Imperator had gnashed his long,=20 rectangular teeth and waved his arms theatrically as he told the=20 story of how a previous High Zet's minions had used guile and=20 treachery to wrest the artifact from his ancestor two thousand years=20 ago. For her part, the High Zet had remained calm and collected as=20 she related the tale of the violent abandon with which one of the=20 Imperator's predecessors had slaughtered her people over the same=20 artifact five hundred years later. At the very least, the captain=20 had thought, one faction seemed willing to contain its ire for the=20 sake of the negotiations. The next day, however, upon being apprised=20 of the fact that one of the High Zet's courtiers had been caught red- handed in an assassination attempt against the Imperator's Chief=20 Clerk, Jean-Luc Picard had been very close to wishing that he had=20 hair just so that he could tear it out again.=20 Now, though, a recess had been suggested and, after what seemed like=20 a heated debate for heated debate's sake, agreed to by all sides.=20 "Two days," Picard murmured to himself, his eyes closing briefly as=20 he stopped to enjoy the silence outside of the transporter room=20 door. He could still hear the high-pitched voices chattering in his=20 head, but for the moment his ears were utterly free from similar=20 assault and he savored it.=20 "I don't mean to interrupt your reverie, Sir, but I think this just=20 might pick you up some." Exhaling softly through his nose and=20 relaxing his features into well-schooled neutrality, the captain=20 opened his eyes to find that Lieutenant Commander LaForge was=20 smiling patiently and offering him a padd.=20 "Oh?" As he flicked the arrow buttons and surveyed the data on the=20 small screen, Picard felt himself wanting to chuckle. The more he=20 tried to stifle it, the more insane he felt. Taking a deep breath,=20 he managed to squash his insanity into a thoughtful grimace as he=20 read his talented engineer's plan for an electrostatic enclosure=20 that would allow the Drols to situate themselves in a receptive=20 environment on board the Enterprise. Picard nodded stiffly as he=20 handed the padd back to LaForge. "Make it so, Mr. LaForge, make it=20 so." The Lieutenant Commander regarded him attentively for a moment=20 before giving him an answering nod. "Yes, Sir. But=85 I'll need some extra power. I was thinking we could=20 take it from shields=85 as long as the Drols know that's what we're=20 doing. If they tried anything aggressive and we had to pull the=20 power from these electrostatic enclosures, that would be the end of=20 all of their representatives on the Enterprise." Coughing into his=20 fist to defeat the ridiculous smile that was once again threatening=20 to appear, the captain nodded again. After three weeks of=20 negotiation with the inhabitants of Drol-4, the idea that anything,=20 *anything* might go his way seemed absurd and worth a very hearty=20 laugh. Still, he couldn't help being hopeful. It was part of his=20 nature. "Indeed, Mister LaForge. I'm afraid we've still got to sell the idea=20 to the Drols themselves, but if those biosuits are even half as=20 uncomfortable as they seem to be, I think these enclosures of yours=20 might be too much for them to resist."=20 "I'll get started right away, Captain." Picard nodded again and then=20 LaForge was gone, on his way down the otherwise empty=20 corridor. //The rest of them must be throwing a party to celebrate=20 the recess,// he thought wryly as he started toward the turbolift.=20 "Deck nine, crew quarters," he told the lift after he had stepped=20 inside, and its pleasant, low hum seemed almost amiable to=20 him. //But Data won't be at the party; he'll be helping Geordi, of=20 course. They do spend a great deal of time tog--// Suddenly his=20 thoughts trailed off as the fine hairs on the back of his neck rose,=20 tickling him. His tightly controlled expression twisted into a=20 subtle frown at the sensation, and at the accompanying one of being=20 watched. Feeling ridiculous, he hazarded a discreet look around the=20 small compartment that was, even now, whizzing him toward the safety=20 and comfort of his quarters. Though he saw nothing but smooth,=20 neutral paneling, he still felt a strange, almost tangible attention=20 on him. //Good Lord but you're paranoid, Jean-Luc. Were you=20 expecting to find one of the High Zet's courtiers crouching in the=20 corner?// Shrugging off the disquieting but somehow not sinister=20 feeling, Picard stepped through the turbolift doors and made his way=20 toward his quarters with swift -- but not too swift -- and=20 confident -- but not too confident -- strides.=20 For no reason he could discern, the captain found that as he=20 walked through the door he half expected something to be amiss. A=20 quick glance around the room made him feel silly for even wondering,=20 as nothing seemed out of place. Taking a moment to ensure that his=20 artifacts were as he'd left them, Picard sighed and shook his head.=20 The negotiations really were getting to him. He felt insane with=20 irony and full of suspicion. Certainly this hadn't been the most=20 difficult dispute he'd had to mediate during his time in Starfleet,=20 but he couldn't remember ever feeling so inexplicably skittish.=20 Maybe he was losing his edge. Grunting, he shook his head again and=20 pushed that thought from his mind. Even if he were losing his edge,=20 the last thing he needed to do was risk the success of an already=20 stressful mission by letting himself worry about it. No, he was just=20 tired and frustrated, and possibly in need of a counseling session.=20 "Computer," Picard murmured, walking into his bedroom and=20 shedding his uniform on the way. "The Magic Flute. From the=20 beginning, at two thirds normal volume." Tucking his uniform away=20 carefully and giving himself a private, contented smile as the music=20 slipped in softly over the hum of the ship's engines, the captain=20 eased into his Starfleet pajamas. "Mozart? Mon Capitaine, I'm appalled! If you're going to subject=20 yourself to obsolete human caterwauling, I would think Debussy more=20 worthy of you." Immediately Picard's hands fell away from buttoning=20 his pajama top. It was all he could do not to whirl around toward=20 the window where he could already imagine the entity lounging smugly=20 against the sill. Never again, he swore silently, would he have the=20 arrogance to say to himself, 'At least things can't get any worse.' "Q." When he finally did turn, doing his best to affect a relaxed,=20 disapproving expression, the captain found that Q had situated=20 himself against the window in much the way he had anticipated. The=20 entity wore a Starfleet Captain's uniform in obvious mockery of=20 Picard's own position, and he was leaning comfortably, arms crossed=20 loosely in front of him. The urge to tug the sides of his shirt=20 together protectively was strong, but the captain overcame it. "Oui?" A nonchalant cock of that dark head, a twinkle in those=20 glittering, hooded eyes.=20 "Don't patronize me. What do you want?" It took almost all of what=20 remained of his restraint and endurance to prevent himself from=20 bristling outwardly. Whatever Q wanted, the very last thing he was=20 going to get was an emotional reaction from Picard. "Jean-Luc, is it inconceivable to you that I might have come just=20 to=85 *hang out*? To 'chew the fat', as you Humans are so fond of=20 saying?" With a lavish, wistful gesture, Q came away from the window=20 and snapped his fingers, reappearing across the room, on the=20 captain's bed. Picard felt his eyes go wide for a brief moment at=20 the sheer audacity of the entity who was now sitting primly atop his=20 bedspread, legs crossed and hands folded gingerly in his lap.=20 Snorting softly at his own naivet=E9, Jean-Luc nodded once.=20 "Yes." "Ahh, well. I suppose I will admit to having a slightly ulterior=20 motive." Q combed his fingers through his hair daintily and gave=20 Picard an obviously exaggerated self-deprecating frown. There was=20 still an infuriatingly smug glint in the entity's dark eyes, but the=20 familiarity of it was somehow comforting. Exhaling deeply, with a=20 meaningful glance toward his desk, the captain groped for what was=20 left of his sanity. "I'm not in the mood for guessing games, Q. In fact, I'm within a=20 hair's breadth of setting that phaser over there to kill and zapping=20 the next thing that moves." //What an absurd thing to say,// Picard=20 thought, his brows knitting together distractedly. Not only would a=20 phaser be a ridiculous weapon to attempt to use on a semi-omnipotent=20 demi-god, but the likelihood of the captain's diving for a phaser=20 out of sheer frustration was very slim indeed. He was known for his=20 restraint, after all. Then why had he said such a thing? //It was a=20 joke. But why would I joke with Q? Whatever he wants, it's doubtful=20 that I'll consider it a laughing matter. Have these negotiations=20 driven me so insane that I find his company amusing? Ah, Dieu.// "Funny you should mention that. Would you believe that I've been=20 watching this debacle for two weeks now, patiently waiting for the=20 opportunity to come and take you away from all of this?" Q purred,=20 smiling at him. Some lascivious suggestion tugged at the corner of=20 the entity's full, sensual upper lip. Deciding that he had waited=20 long enough to seem casual and undisturbed, Picard turned most of=20 his attention to buttoning his pajama shirt, to shielding himself=20 from the ambiguous promises in that expression. Still, one eye=20 remained always on Q, who had made himself at home on the captain's=20 bed.=20 "No, I wouldn't," he murmured indifferently as he finished threading=20 the last button through its buttonhole. Q scoffed, making a=20 dramatically dismissive gesture and rising quickly. Picard quirked a=20 dark, delicately arched brow in vague amusement as the entity rested=20 his hands on cocked hips. What was wrong with him? He really should=20 be angrier about the intrusion and its inevitable consequences.=20 Instead, the captain felt himself beginning to genuinely enjoy Q's=20 ridiculous affectations. There was so much he wondered about: How=20 much of Q's ridiculousness was conscious? How much was intentional?=20 What was he like among his own race, when no one's existence was at=20 stake?=20 How much of the suggestion in those dark eyes was sincere? "Well believe it, Johnny baby. Now, let's see=85 where will I take=20 you? Not Sherwood Forest, certainly. What are you in the mood for?=20 Sun and surf? Green pastures? Cozy, authentic local flavor?" Picard=20 frowned, crossing his arms over his chest even as the entity smiled=20 faintly and pursed his lips in what appeared to be a genuinely=20 thoughtful manner. Of course the captain had known that the=20 theatrics and entertaining banter would only take them so far. Q had=20 something in mind, and he doubted he would like it.=20 "If you're going to whisk me off somewhere, why bother=20 flashing in to ask me about it first?" For a brief instant, Picard=20 thought he saw a glimmer of irritation spark in the entity's eyes.=20 One blink, though, and Q was clutching demurely at the breast of his=20 Starfleet uniform and smirking.=20 "Oh, Picard, you wound me! I don't think I can go on for=20 another fifty million years knowing that you think I would drag you=20 away against your will. Really, Jean-Luc, if you don't want to come=20 along just say so and I'll be gone in a flash - Cadet's honor."=20 Maddening smirk giving way to even more maddening nonchalance, Q=20 held up his hand in contemptuous imitation of a Vulcan salute. When=20 Picard shook his head in disbelief, it was not at the entity's=20 desire to take him somewhere, or even at his blatant disrespect for=20 everything the he held dear, but at his having apparently=20 entertained the thought that the captain might want to go with him.=20 Whatever came of Q's visit, Jean-Luc did not want to find himself=20 before a Starfleet review board at some point in the future, his=20 only excuse being, 'Well, I didn't have anywhere else to be at the=20 time.' It was that thought that made him snicker slightly when he=20 asked, "What ever made you think that I would go anywhere with you=20 willingly?" "Oh, that. Why, because I know something you don't know that=20 I know, Mon Capitaine." Blackmail? Surely Q was above blackmail.=20 Even if he weren't, what could he possibly plan to use as leverage?=20 The captain narrowed his eyes and tried to read Q's face, but the=20 entity's gaze was unexpressive.=20 "Pardon?" Q rolled his eyes exaggeratedly before darting=20 them around to lock with Jean-Luc's. Startled by the intensity he=20 found there, Picard couldn't help blinking. As swiftly as it had=20 appeared, though, the passion was gone and the captain had to wonder=20 whether it had been there at all. The entity made an airy gesture. "Don't play senile with me, Jean-Luc. You heard what I=20 said." Reflecting that Q had never gotten directly to a point in all=20 the time he'd known him, Picard made his way over to an armchair in=20 the corner of the room. He was tired, and if they were going to have=20 to go through this charade of amiability and innocence, he wasn't=20 going to do it standing up. Under normal circumstances, he would=20 never allow his body to relax while there was an intruder in his=20 bedroom, but how could his body help him against Q? The entity=20 pivoted smoothly to follow the captain's movement and tapped his=20 foot impatiently.=20 "Yes, though I suppose I was hoping I hadn't. I can only=20 imagine you plan to blackmail me, but honestly, Q, I've no idea what=20 you think you've got up your sleeve." Picard could hear the fatigue=20 in his own voice, but he told himself that it didn't matter. He was=20 human after all, and Q knew that as well as he did. "Blackmail? Hardly. And it isn't what's up my sleeve,=20 Johnny; it's what's in these regulation Starfleet trousers that=20 makes all the difference." The entity's eyelids drooped and his hips=20 thrust forward ever so slightly in suggestion.=20 "Excuse me?" Knowing that he had sputtered and hardly caring=20 as his weariness was replaced by indignation, the captain sat up in=20 his chair and frowned deeply at Q. "Playing deaf again?"=20 "If anything you said made any sense I wouldn't have to."=20 Jean-Luc resolved to remain calm. After all, he really wasn't=20 shocked by anything Q said anymore, and sexual innuendo was nothing=20 to squirm about. If the insinuation had not come from those pouting=20 lips=85 //Stop right there,// he snapped at himself. As he watched, Q=20 exhaled dramatically and took the time to walk over to him in a=20 decidedly Human fashion.=20 "All right, how's this? You're gay, Jean-Luc. You know it.=20 You've always known it. You didn't know I knew, but now you do." The=20 captain felt his face grow hot and wondered dimly whether Q could=20 tell in the low evening light of his bedroom. Leaning forward well=20 into what Picard considered to be his personal space, the entity=20 placed his hands on the armrests of the chair. //He's bluffing. He's=20 got to be bluffing.// Forcing himself to meet deep, glittering brown=20 eyes, the captain inhaled. "What makes you think that?" At the relatively steady sound=20 of his own voice, Picard relaxed slightly even as Q leaned closer.=20 "Oh, I don't know=85" the entity breathed suggestively. "How=20 about Cadet Adrian Vega, for one? Jack Crusher? That auburn haired=20 Adonis from the Academy whose name you never quite caught?" Jean-Luc=20 felt the hairs on the back of his neck jolt to attention and the=20 sensation swept him away in a wave of startling d=E9j=E0 vu. Q had not,=20 in fact, been bluffing. Desperately, Picard groped for his last=20 reasonable point of argument.=20 "I think you're forgetting quite a formidable list of female=20 characters," he murmured, painfully aware of how breathless he=20 sounded, of how much Q's closeness was affecting him. The entity=20 smiled knowingly and pulled away with a suddenness that made Jean- Luc start.=20 "Still clinging to your indignation with a vice grip? Of=20 course you are. That's what makes you you, sweet pea." As Q turned=20 away and began to pace, the captain took the opportunity it afforded=20 him to be off stage, as it were. Closing his eyes briefly, he passed=20 a hand over his face and exhaled with a quiet, almost imperceptible=20 shudder. Q made a wide, deliberate gesture and continued. "And=20 obviously I'm not forgetting any of the females you so generously=20 refer to as 'characters'. You think that being able to get it up for=20 a woman makes you bisexual, Jean-Luc, but you're so repressed that=20 you could get it up for a grapefruit if you let your guard down long=20 enough. Deep down you know the reason you stay away from men is=20 because you're capable of falling in love with them."=20 Q turned on him as he spoke, unreal brown eyes shimmering and=20 seeming to capture every detail. Outwardly, Picard was motionless,=20 his entire back aching with the sudden clench of muscles that kept=20 him still under such ruthless scrutiny. Inside, though, the man felt=20 himself begin to panic. Whatever he had imagined Q's purpose to be,=20 whatever he had thought him capable of, this was worse. What was the=20 entity working toward? Humiliating him? Ruining his personal=20 relationships? "I loved=85 love Beverly and you know that very well." Picard=20 felt his upper lip twitching into a snarl, felt his chin quivering=20 with anger that wasn't really anger. Beverly. Oh, Lord, Beverly.=20 What would she think if Q decided to flash into sickbay and show her=20 a holographic recreation of this conversation?=20 "Of course you do! And you've loved Wesley for years, but=20 don't try to convince me that you're a pedophile. Isn't it so much=20 easier to be with someone you can please and love without ever=20 having to worry that you might lose yourself? Isn't it so much=20 easier to do that than it is to worry about softening up or letting=20 some part of that precious Starfleet Captain's fa=E7ade drop away?=20 After all, what sort of a captain would you be, Jean-Luc, if you let=20 anything at all mean more to you than your darling dearest spaceship=20 and its crew?" The entity was approaching him again, clutching the=20 armrests and leaning forward. This time, though, the deeply=20 expressive brow was knitted, the dark eyes searching. Surprised to=20 find no guile in Q's expression, the captain squinted as the urge to=20 rise up with a heated denial crumbled and fell away. Q knew; the=20 harm had already been done. If Picard admitted the truth of the=20 entity's claim, he might be able to use the element of surprise to=20 gain the upper hand.=20 "Not the sort of captain I want to be. There, I've said it.=20 Was that your game, Q? To get me to admit something personal?=20 Something shameful?"=20 "Something shameful? Of course not," Q snapped, as though=20 irritated by Picard's inability to understand him. Frowning=20 pensively, the entity let his head hang down for a moment. The=20 captain shifted uncomfortably and wondered why he was suddenly more=20 bothered by the idea that he couldn't grasp a point Q apparently=20 thought was elementary than he was by the situation in=20 general. //I've always been fond of puzzles, but this is=20 ridiculous.// Q withdrew again and made to pace across the room,=20 calling back over his shoulder in a syrupy voice, "You've been so=20 indulgent tonight, Mon Capitaine, perhaps you would permit me just=20 one more question, hmm?"=20 Picard nodded stiffly and his gaze roamed out toward the window=20 where a seemingly infinite number of stars twinkled against the=20 black canvas of space. Anything, anything was better than watching=20 those provocative hips sway away from him, and it was somehow=20 reassuring to think that even now a seemingly infinite number of=20 lives went on out there, unaffected by the Drols or Q -- hopefully -- or Picard's own discomfort with both. Still, he couldn't entirely=20 shield from himself the realization that, truthfully, he didn't want=20 this to be the last question. "I'm a Q, as you of course know. You also know that the Human form=20 you see before you is not my true form. Why, then, do you think,=20 Jean-Luc, if I can take any form I wish and have had an absurdly=20 long time to gather blueprints for possible forms=85 why do you think=20 I've stuck with this one since we met?" Q gestured demonstratively=20 as he spoke, as though leading a child down a simple logical path.=20 Frowning thoughtfully, Picard gave the entity his full=20 attention. //Because its at-rest expression is the most petulant one=20 you could find?// "It was my understanding that it was the closest Human=20 approximation of your true self, for lack of a better way of putting=20 it." Q nodded and his eyes lit up hopefully. "It is, it is=85 in an extremely simplistic sense. But why not=20 appear as a Vulcan? Now, wouldn't *that* be ironic? Or one of those=20 Belesian sex queens? I imagine they have lots of fun, don't you?"=20 Picard snorted. He couldn't help himself. Though the captain quickly=20 resolved his expression into a grimace, his reaction had not gone=20 unnoticed by Q, who grinned triumphantly. Wholly regaining his=20 composure, Jean-Luc brushed a knuckle under his nose and said dryly, "I thought the idea of mortal copulation disgusted you."=20 "When you put it like that, what's not disgusting about it?=20 No, Jean-Luc=85 I may be a semi-omnipotent demi-god, but the truth is,=20 I'm not entirely above the occasional bout of self-indulgent=20 bitterness. If you were a Q who wanted to copulate with a Human you=20 couldn't have, you'd have been bitter too. You agreed to one more=20 question, mon ami; don't try to wriggle away now. Here, I'll refresh=20 your memory: Why do you think I've been so very attached to this=20 form since we met?" Q sauntered toward him again, and Picard was=20 shocked to find that he wasn't discomforted. //Mon Dieu=85 I'm=20 enjoying myself again. As soon as Q leaves I'm going to contact Will=20 and advise a mutiny.// "You didn't say I had to answer the question correctly. I=20 told you I wasn't in the mood for guessing games." Despite his every=20 effort to prevent it, the captain felt his dark brows twitch=20 slightly, as though to say 'en garde!'. Yes, he was enjoying=20 himself, and he was too tired and too taken in by the tall, sulky=20 figure looming over his armchair to worry about what that might=20 mean. At that moment it didn't matter to Jean-Luc what the entity's=20 purpose was, or how long it might take him to get around to=20 divulging it. Q smiled earnestly. "Fair enough. I'll tell you why. It was for you." The smile=20 held steady and Picard had no idea what to make of it. He cocked his=20 head, frowning incredulously.=20 "For me? Don't be absurd, Q." "But oui, Mon Capitaine. Why? Don't you like it?" Q leaned=20 away, drawing himself up to his full height with a=20 flourish. //Presumably to give me a good look. Doesn't he know that=20 I've done more than enough looking at him already?// A faint, wry=20 grin curling the corners of his mouth, Picard answered, "It hadn't occurred to me to consider it." Seemingly unable=20 to resist, the entity surged forward again, clutching at the=20 armrests of Picard's chair and looking deeply into his eyes.=20 "Ahh, now who's got an ulterior motive, Jean-Luc?" he=20 murmured. The captain knew - *knew* - that he ought to snap at Q,=20 tell him move away, but the entity's warm breath and all-too-human=20 scent were intoxicating and Picard couldn't make himself do=20 it. //Exactly how human has he made himself?// "Lying and having an ulterior motive are not the same=20 thing." He heard his voice taking on the playful, husky timbre that=20 Q's had and some distant, more rational part of his mind kicked him,=20 hard. When the entity's face lit up in what seemed to be an entirely=20 genuine way, though, that part of his mind went silent.=20 "So you *do* want me!" Q was smiling at him and something=20 twisted in Picard's chest, as though he'd suddenly and violently=20 employed a muscle that normally went unused. The idea that Q might=20 be showing sincere emotion, that the entity's own emotional state=20 might in some way hinge on Jean-Luc's reaction was somehow=20 terrifying. The captain told himself that that was impossible, or at=20 the very least unlikely. He told himself that everything he saw=20 expressed in those soulful eyes was a calculated lie, but for some=20 reason that he could not justify, he didn't believe it. Wincing=20 faintly in the face of all of that confusing earnestness, Picard=20 opened his mouth and hoped he wouldn't regret whatever came out of=20 it. "'Want' is such a relative term. Do I want to have my hands=20 full with a childish immortal bent on using my basic human drives as=20 a source of amusement? No, not particularly. Do I want to have to=20 worry about having a childish immortal running amok on my ship while=20 I'm in the middle of complex negotiations? Not at all, no." Some=20 part of him was distantly aware of being terrified that he might=20 have hurt Q's feelings - his feelings! - and of being greatly=20 relieved when the entity grinned lasciviously at him and hitched his=20 hips forward.=20 "Semantics, Jean-Luc, semantics! Let me put it to you like=20 this: does your body want me?" Picard sighed shakily and leaned back=20 in his chair, feeling his cheeks redden again. As entertaining as it=20 had been to dance around the subject and to watch Q pose and preen=20 for him, he did not feel at all prepared to answer the question the=20 entity had put to him. Stubborn suspicion rose to his defense, then,=20 and gave him yet another way to avoid the issue.=20 "What possible difference could it make either way? If you=20 go back to the Continuum and tell them triumphantly that Jean-Luc=20 Picard has admitted to having a physical attraction to you, it will=20 be like telling them that I've admitted to having the need to eat,=20 or to breathe. It's a function of the human body, Q. You of all=20 people should know that." Q didn't move, but his eyes made a slow=20 circuit down the length of Picard's body and back up again to meet=20 the man's increasingly unsteady gaze. Feeling hot all over, sure=20 that he was sweating, mortified at the realization that he was on=20 the verge of getting an erection, Jean-Luc swallowed.=20 "So you do admit it." Suddenly it didn't matter anymore.=20 Without his anger to assist it, the captain's fear of Q's intentions=20 was quickly proving itself to be no match for long-felt desire or=20 the closeness of the entity's -- //Fake,// he told=20 himself, //fake!// -- body.=20 "Very well," he said slowly, with resignation. "Yes, I admit=20 it. Are you quite finished?" Every fiber of his being wanted to=20 shrink from Q's penetrating gaze, but he refused to cower. Seeming=20 pleased by that, or by a combination of it and his admission, the=20 entity smiled slightly.=20 "Only getting started, Mon Capitaine."=20 Captain Picard never had a chance. The two were so close already=20 that when Q leaned forward to cover the man's thin, chiseled lips=20 with his own, Jean-Luc was hardly aware of the movement until it was=20 too late. For a moment he stayed frozen, shocked and terrified, and=20 Q was still but for the subtlest brushing of the entity's mouth=20 against his. The glittering intensity Picard had witnessed in Q's=20 eyes earlier returned and stayed, even as those luscious, full lips=20 parted. His eyelids drooping, the captain managed to suppress a=20 groan, though his mouth opened against his will to receive the=20 entity's gentle, probing tongue. //So human,// Jean-Luc moaned=20 inwardly, closing his eyes all the way as Q kissed him harder,=20 tasting him, making him hard. Years of deprivation and loneliness=20 had taken their toll on the captain and his last frayed thread of=20 defense snapped. When he returned the kiss he did so feverishly,=20 plunging his hands into the entity's hair and caressing his tongue=20 with what would have been, under different circumstances,=20 embarrassing urgency. As they withdrew, finally, gasping for breath,=20 Q nipped at Picard's bottom lip. The man groaned softly and tried to=20 focus his vision, but all he could think of was the fact that he=20 suddenly couldn't remember the last time he had gotten an erection=20 from actual physical contact. Q nuzzled his neck sensuously before=20 dragging those perfect lips up the column of his throat to suck his=20 earlobe. It was so good to be touched, to be kissed, to imagine with=20 giddy desire what might happen next and what might happen later. But=20 it wasn't real; none of it was real. This was Q touching him, Q=20 kissing him.=20 "Why, Q?" Picard gasped quietly, even as the entity snuck a warm=20 hand under his pajama top to caress his stomach. "Mmm?" Without snapping, Q wished the man's top away along with his=20 own Starfleet upper body wear. Having done that, he descended=20 hungrily on Jean-Luc's chest, kissing wetly and caressing with eager=20 hands.=20 "You=85 you already have=85 my admission, Q=85 Why are you still=85 ahh=85=20 doing this?" Q stilled and Picard sighed his disappointment, nervous=20 fingers tightening in the entity's dark hair. The man felt hard and=20 empty, cold and desperate, and, in the back of his mind somewhere,=20 pathetic.=20 "I'm not here on Continuum business, Jean-Luc. Do you really think=20 they have nothing better to do than order Qs out to seduce mortals?"=20 When those dark eyes rose to meet his, Picard was struck by the=20 depth he saw there. He knew that he should admonish himself for=20 being taken in so easily, for letting the entity use his body=20 against him, but he couldn't help it; he believed.=20 "Then=85 why?" Q's eyes narrowed and he winced with muted irritation. "Isn't it obvious? Here, I'll make it obvious." Q seized Picard's=20 wrist firmly and dragged the man's hand away from his hair to press=20 it to his groin. Smoky hazel eyes widened at the hardness there,=20 tucked behind thick black material, and the heat emanating from it.=20 Picard felt his own prick tighten and begin to weep at the sensation=20 of having another man's -- well, almost -- arousal in his hand after=20 so many years. Squeezing experimentally, he was nearly overcome by a=20 rush of longing at the raw groan the action drew from Q's chest. "Do=20 you see? Now do you see, Jean-Luc?" the entity husked raggedly, his=20 eyes slitted with desire.=20 Panting, Picard traced a fingertip along the curve of Q's bottom=20 lip, swollen from kissing him. Had this superhuman creature from a=20 far-flung, unknowable place finally decided it was worth his time to=20 experiment with Human sexuality? But the captain couldn't make=20 himself care why Q wanted him anymore. There was lust in that heated=20 gaze, hunger in the subtle tremble of those strong hands, and that=20 was all that mattered. "I'm only human," Jean-Luc whispered, not realizing he'd uttered it=20 aloud until Q's expression became one of what, in a different being,=20 might have been construed as concern. Without raising his hand, the=20 entity snapped and Picard found himself on his back atop his own=20 bed, Q lying along the length of him and looking imploringly into=20 his eyes. "None of that tonight, please. Please, Jean-Luc." The captain=20 frowned softly, focusing his rapt attention on Q's face as his chest=20 tightened and burned again. His arousal slackened slightly to make=20 way for an overwhelming desire to find out what had upset the entity=20 and, unbelievably, to comfort him. "Q, what=85 ah, Dieu!" Blinking away any trace of vulnerability, Q=20 leaned in again, this time taking one of the man's nipples firmly=20 between his full lips. Picard arched roughly against the entity, all=20 hope of rational thought momentarily blotted out by a searing jolt=20 of pleasure that sparked between his chest and his prick. Warm,=20 deliberate hands smoothed a path over his stomach, caressed his=20 ribs, and melted the tension in his shoulders as a tongue teased his=20 other nipple. Anxious to take some measure of control over the=20 situation, even as he writhed under the entity's touch, Jean-Luc=20 grabbed firm hold of Q's upper arms. His brain refused to form a=20 complex plan of movement, and so he gave in to sensation, dragging=20 the heels of his hands across tight biceps and digging his=20 fingertips into soft flesh. //Fake flesh,// a distant, nearly=20 inaudible part of his mind tried to protest.=20 "Jean-Luc," Q moaned very softly as he nuzzled his way again toward=20 the captain's neck. "Jean-Luc, why have you done this to yourself?"=20 The hushed reverence in the entity's voice sent a pang of something=20 unidentifiable, simultaneously pleasurable and painful, through=20 Picard, who could scarcely focus enough to understand the question=20 at its most basic, literal level. It seemed important to Q, though,=20 so he tried to ignore the warm, wet kisses, the welcome heaviness of=20 the body above him, and the sense of impending combustion long=20 enough to give some kind of response.=20 "Done=85 what=85 to myself?" the man managed to gasp, knowing as he did=20 that his hips were rocking sensuously and of their own accord. With=20 a playfully wicked grin, Q reached down abruptly and, with infinite=20 grace, slipped a hand inside the captain's pajama shorts to wrap=20 around his aching erection.=20 "This," Q whispered. Picard shuddered and a hoarse groan tore its=20 way from his heaving chest. His hands fell away from the entity's=20 arms to wrench mindless knots in the bedspread at either side of his=20 head. Q was an angel of mercy now, descended to end his long self- denial by stroking him purposefully with his hand and breathlessly=20 with his voice. "Why have you been so cruel to yourself, and for so=20 long? You deserve this, Jean-Luc. Bel homme." The words registered=20 somewhere at the edge of Picard's perception, joining with his=20 deepest hope to silence the last whispers of self-recrimination.=20 Writhing, the man bucked, thrusting himself into that warm, knowing=20 hand over and over.=20 "Q!" he choked, his eyes widening blankly in shock as the intensity=20 of his approaching orgasm became clear to him. Jean-Luc's teeth=20 clenched and his body bowed off of the bed, his breath coming in=20 shuddering fits and starts. In brief nano-seconds of near-lucidity,=20 the captain was aware of Q hovering over him, the entity's gaze=20 intense and urgently hopeful. Stroking harder, faster, matching=20 Picard's strong thrusts, Q struggled to lean forward and plunge his=20 tongue into the man's open mouth. The awkward intimacy of that=20 additional stimulation overcame Jean-Luc. He groaned into the kiss=20 and filled Q's fist and his own Starfleet pajama shorts in hot,=20 shuddering spurts.=20 When the entity's mouth withdrew from his, Picard was at first too=20 occupied with gasping for breath and drowning in perfect, oceanic=20 bliss to notice anything else. Dimly at first, and then more=20 clearly, though, he became aware that Q had flattened a warm sticky=20 palm on his stomach and was arched back, grinding against him.=20 Startled out of his post-orgasmic haze, the captain watched raptly=20 as Q's rhythm began to falter. The entity's face was flushed and his=20 nostrils flared with every ragged breath. Acting on impulse, Picard=20 reached out to caress Q's chest, loving the way it slid across his=20 palm in time with the thrusts. //He's made himself Human enough to=20 sweat.// At the touch, Q's eyes flew open and he dug his fingertips=20 into the captain's skin. With a throaty sob, the entity convulsed,=20 his expression a tender grimace of determination and relief. Then,=20 trembling, he collapsed atop Jean-Luc in a slick, boneless heap. Feeling as though he had seen something he wasn't meant to see, the=20 captain gathered Q in his arms and held him as he might someone who=20 had just had a traumatic experience. //Dear Lord, have I got my arms=20 around *Q*?// As he shifted slightly and listened to Q's shuddering=20 gasps beginning to slow, Picard frowned at the unpleasant way his=20 shorts clung to thighs. //I didn't miss that, but it was more than=20 worth it.// No sooner could he acknowledge the unpleasantness,=20 though, than it was gone, along with his cooling semen and the sweat=20 between their bodies.=20 [Cont'd in part 2/2] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML. NewMessage: