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Subject: NEW TNG "Hard Won: Revelations" 1/2 [NC-17] P/Q
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Title: Hard Won: Revelations
Author: Nick (plan9channel7 at witty dot com)
Series: TNG
Rating: NC-17
Codes: P/Q=20
Part: 1/2
Feedback: Yes, please. Here, there and everywhere.
Summary: Beginning of a story arc that will continue in subsequent=20
possibly be a good thing. Could it?

Author's Note: I'm a slash journeyman, but this is my first foray=20
into Treksmut, so be gentle. ;) Thanks to Sandra for the canon beta;=20
I would have embarrassed myself far more without her.=20

Disclaimer: I don't own them but they're too hot not to play with. I=20
made it up for love, not money.

Archive: Wherever, so long as my name stays attached. Will=20
eventually make it to my website at:=20
http://www.geocities.com/pompadour_slim/




The negotiations were not going well. It was beyond imagining,=20
Picard thought, that this newly discovered race did not share some=20
common ancestor with the Ferengi. He had spent so much time=20
diffusing the explosive turmoil brought on by shameless sniping and=20
back-biting within each faction that inter-faction discussion had=20
hardly even begun a full three weeks after the Enterprise committed=20
itself to orbit around the tiny, green planet of Drol-4.=20

At first, the landscape had seemed promising. After all, they had=20
nowhere very pressing to be once their negotiations were concluded,=20
and if all went well there was every possibility of a planet leave.=20
Few of the crew had not considered, however briefly, what a delight=20
it would be to spend leave on a lush, vegetation-rich planet - to=20
sit in the shade of a leafy plant that was made of something other=20
than light and trickery. Data, though, charmingly oblivious to the=20
fact that he was once again the bearer of bad news, had nipped that=20
fantasy in the bud, as it were. The atmosphere, it seemed, was=20
seventy-eight percent carbon dioxide and therefore entirely lacking=20
in support for anyone on board the Enterprise. Anyone, that was,=20
except Data. Picard himself had been bothered but not surprised=20
when, the irony not being lost on his command staff, the android had=20
been subjected to more than the usual amount of teasing and foul=20
moods in the last days before the negotiations officially began.=20

But that had only been the beginning. Though the Drols were an=20
elegantly built race, tall and slender, with an almost luminescent=20
tinge to their soft blue skin, their culture was utterly at odds=20
with their appearance. At first Picard had snapped at himself for=20
being so seduced by his own cultural norms as to even have such a=20
thought, but as time wore on, such lofty ideals in the face of the=20
political carnage he was trying to mediate only made him want to=20
laugh maniacally. Or take a phaser to his temple. Or -- and this=20
seemed so much better for the Universe at large -- take a phaser to=20
the entire Drol assembly.=20

They had bickered and scoffed and snorted and flailed during the=20
discussion of where the formal negotiations ought to be held. It was=20
true that occasionally conflicting customs and interests made these=20
questions difficult, but never had Captain Picard seen such a=20
display of petulance and general unpleasantness in all of his years=20
of space exploration. Ultimately, the warring factions -- if they=20
could be said to be 'warring' when they never actually got around to=20
making war because neither side could agree with itself on how to go=20
about it -- had acquiesced to the captain's suggestion that they=20
conduct the negotiations aboard the Enterprise. He had thought it a=20
victory, if a small one, to have made them agree on anything at all.=20
That is, until the representatives had beamed aboard in the clunky,=20
awkward and obviously uncomfortable spacesuits which kept the oxygen-
rich atmosphere of the ship from irritating their skin and lungs. If=20
Picard had ever been so recklessly hopeful as to imagine that at=20
least their demeanors could not get any worse, he had been wrong.=20
The suits were hot, apparently, and the insulation itched. A=20
complaint here or there would not have been especially bothersome,=20
but those facts were, as it turned out, the entire content of the=20
first ambassadorial meeting.=20

After three weeks, all that Picard had been able to determine was=20
that an artifact of apparently no intrinsic value had been unearthed=20
in an area claimed by both sides -- an area which had itself been so=20
lacking in value that neither faction had made the effort to=20
populate or defend it. The Imperator had gnashed his long,=20
rectangular teeth and waved his arms theatrically as he told the=20
story of how a previous High Zet's minions had used guile and=20
treachery to wrest the artifact from his ancestor two thousand years=20
ago. For her part, the High Zet had remained calm and collected as=20
she related the tale of the violent abandon with which one of the=20
Imperator's predecessors had slaughtered her people over the same=20
artifact five hundred years later. At the very least, the captain=20
had thought, one faction seemed willing to contain its ire for the=20
sake of the negotiations. The next day, however, upon being apprised=20
of the fact that one of the High Zet's courtiers had been caught red-
handed in an assassination attempt against the Imperator's Chief=20
Clerk, Jean-Luc Picard had been very close to wishing that he had=20
hair just so that he could tear it out again.=20

Now, though, a recess had been suggested and, after what seemed like=20
a heated debate for heated debate's sake, agreed to by all sides.=20

"Two days," Picard murmured to himself, his eyes closing briefly as=20
he stopped to enjoy the silence outside of the transporter room=20
door. He could still hear the high-pitched voices chattering in his=20
head, but for the moment his ears were utterly free from similar=20
assault and he savored it.=20

"I don't mean to interrupt your reverie, Sir, but I think this just=20
might pick you up some." Exhaling softly through his nose and=20
relaxing his features into well-schooled neutrality, the captain=20
opened his eyes to find that Lieutenant Commander LaForge was=20
smiling patiently and offering him a padd.=20

"Oh?" As he flicked the arrow buttons and surveyed the data on the=20
small screen, Picard felt himself wanting to chuckle. The more he=20
tried to stifle it, the more insane he felt. Taking a deep breath,=20
he managed to squash his insanity into a thoughtful grimace as he=20
read his talented engineer's plan for an electrostatic enclosure=20
that would allow the Drols to situate themselves in a receptive=20
environment on board the Enterprise. Picard nodded stiffly as he=20
handed the padd back to LaForge. "Make it so, Mr. LaForge, make it=20
so." The Lieutenant Commander regarded him attentively for a moment=20
before giving him an answering nod.

"Yes, Sir. But=85 I'll need some extra power. I was thinking we
could=20
take it from shields=85 as long as the Drols know that's what we're=20
doing. If they tried anything aggressive and we had to pull the=20
power from these electrostatic enclosures, that would be the end of=20
all of their representatives on the Enterprise." Coughing into his=20
fist to defeat the ridiculous smile that was once again threatening=20
to appear, the captain nodded again. After three weeks of=20
negotiation with the inhabitants of Drol-4, the idea that anything,=20
*anything* might go his way seemed absurd and worth a very hearty=20
laugh. Still, he couldn't help being hopeful. It was part of his=20
nature.

"Indeed, Mister LaForge. I'm afraid we've still got to sell the idea=20
to the Drols themselves, but if those biosuits are even half as=20
uncomfortable as they seem to be, I think these enclosures of yours=20
might be too much for them to resist."=20

"I'll get started right away, Captain." Picard nodded again and then=20
LaForge was gone, on his way down the otherwise empty=20
corridor. //The rest of them must be throwing a party to celebrate=20
the recess,// he thought wryly as he started toward the turbolift.=20

"Deck nine, crew quarters," he told the lift after he had stepped=20
inside, and its pleasant, low hum seemed almost amiable to=20
him. //But Data won't be at the party; he'll be helping Geordi, of=20
course. They do spend a great deal of time tog--// Suddenly his=20
thoughts trailed off as the fine hairs on the back of his neck rose,=20
tickling him. His tightly controlled expression twisted into a=20
subtle frown at the sensation, and at the accompanying one of being=20
watched. Feeling ridiculous, he hazarded a discreet look around the=20
small compartment that was, even now, whizzing him toward the safety=20
and comfort of his quarters. Though he saw nothing but smooth,=20
neutral paneling, he still felt a strange, almost tangible attention=20
on him. //Good Lord but you're paranoid, Jean-Luc. Were you=20
expecting to find one of the High Zet's courtiers crouching in the=20
corner?// Shrugging off the disquieting but somehow not sinister=20
feeling, Picard stepped through the turbolift doors and made his way=20
toward his quarters with swift -- but not too swift --  and=20
confident -- but not too confident --  strides.=20

	For no reason he could discern, the captain found that as he=20
walked through the door he half expected something to be amiss. A=20
quick glance around the room made him feel silly for even wondering,=20
as nothing seemed out of place. Taking a moment to ensure that his=20
artifacts were as he'd left them, Picard sighed and shook his head.=20
The negotiations really were getting to him. He felt insane with=20
irony and full of suspicion. Certainly this hadn't been the most=20
difficult dispute he'd had to mediate during his time in Starfleet,=20
but he couldn't remember ever feeling so inexplicably skittish.=20
Maybe he was losing his edge. Grunting, he shook his head again and=20
pushed that thought from his mind. Even if he were losing his edge,=20
the last thing he needed to do was risk the success of an already=20
stressful mission by letting himself worry about it. No, he was just=20
tired and frustrated, and possibly in need of a counseling session.=20

	"Computer," Picard murmured, walking into his bedroom and=20
shedding his uniform on the way. "The Magic Flute. From the=20
beginning, at two thirds normal volume." Tucking his uniform away=20
carefully and giving himself a private, contented smile as the music=20
slipped in softly over the hum of the ship's engines, the captain=20
eased into his Starfleet pajamas.

"Mozart? Mon Capitaine, I'm appalled! If you're going to subject=20
yourself to obsolete human caterwauling, I would think Debussy more=20
worthy of you." Immediately Picard's hands fell away from buttoning=20
his pajama top. It was all he could do not to whirl around toward=20
the window where he could already imagine the entity lounging smugly=20
against the sill. Never again, he swore silently, would he have the=20
arrogance to say to himself, 'At least things can't get any worse.'

"Q." When he finally did turn, doing his best to affect a relaxed,=20
disapproving expression, the captain found that Q had situated=20
himself against the window in much the way he had anticipated. The=20
entity wore a Starfleet Captain's uniform in obvious mockery of=20
Picard's own position, and he was leaning comfortably, arms crossed=20
loosely in front of him. The urge to tug the sides of his shirt=20
together protectively was strong, but the captain overcame it.

"Oui?" A nonchalant cock of that dark head, a twinkle in those=20
glittering, hooded eyes.=20

"Don't patronize me. What do you want?" It took almost all of what=20
remained of his restraint and endurance to prevent himself from=20
bristling outwardly. Whatever Q wanted, the very last thing he was=20
going to get was an emotional reaction from Picard.

"Jean-Luc, is it inconceivable to you that I might have come just=20
to=85 *hang out*? To 'chew the fat', as you Humans are so fond of=20
saying?" With a lavish, wistful gesture, Q came away from the window=20
and snapped his fingers, reappearing across the room, on the=20
captain's bed. Picard felt his eyes go wide for a brief moment at=20
the sheer audacity of the entity who was now sitting primly atop his=20
bedspread, legs crossed and hands folded gingerly in his lap.=20
Snorting softly at his own naivet=E9, Jean-Luc nodded once.=20

"Yes."

"Ahh, well. I suppose I will admit to having a slightly ulterior=20
motive." Q combed his fingers through his hair daintily and gave=20
Picard an obviously exaggerated self-deprecating frown. There was=20
still an infuriatingly smug glint in the entity's dark eyes, but the=20
familiarity of it was somehow comforting. Exhaling deeply, with a=20
meaningful glance toward his desk, the captain groped for what was=20
left of his sanity.

"I'm not in the mood for guessing games, Q. In fact, I'm within a=20
hair's breadth of setting that phaser over there to kill and zapping=20
the next thing that moves." //What an absurd thing to say,// Picard=20
thought, his brows knitting together distractedly. Not only would a=20
phaser be a ridiculous weapon to attempt to use on a semi-omnipotent=20
demi-god, but the likelihood of the captain's diving for a phaser=20
out of sheer frustration was very slim indeed. He was known for his=20
restraint, after all. Then why had he said such a thing? //It was a=20
joke. But why would I joke with Q? Whatever he wants, it's doubtful=20
that I'll consider it a laughing matter. Have these negotiations=20
driven me so insane that I find his company amusing? Ah, Dieu.//

"Funny you should mention that. Would you believe that I've been=20
watching this debacle for two weeks now, patiently waiting for the=20
opportunity to come and take you away from all of this?" Q purred,=20
smiling at him. Some lascivious suggestion tugged at the corner of=20
the entity's full, sensual upper lip. Deciding that he had waited=20
long enough to seem casual and undisturbed, Picard turned most of=20
his attention to buttoning his pajama shirt, to shielding himself=20
from the ambiguous promises in that expression. Still, one eye=20
remained always on Q, who had made himself at home on the captain's=20
bed.=20

"No, I wouldn't," he murmured indifferently as he finished threading=20
the last button through its buttonhole. Q scoffed, making a=20
dramatically dismissive gesture and rising quickly. Picard quirked a=20
dark, delicately arched brow in vague amusement as the entity rested=20
his hands on cocked hips. What was wrong with him? He really should=20
be angrier about the intrusion and its inevitable consequences.=20
Instead, the captain felt himself beginning to genuinely enjoy Q's=20
ridiculous affectations. There was so much he wondered about: How=20
much of Q's ridiculousness was conscious? How much was intentional?=20
What was he like among his own race, when no one's existence was at=20
stake?=20

How much of the suggestion in those dark eyes was sincere?

"Well believe it, Johnny baby. Now, let's see=85 where will I take=20
you? Not Sherwood Forest, certainly. What are you in the mood for?=20
Sun and surf? Green pastures? Cozy, authentic local flavor?" Picard=20
frowned, crossing his arms over his chest even as the entity smiled=20
faintly and pursed his lips in what appeared to be a genuinely=20
thoughtful manner. Of course the captain had known that the=20
theatrics and entertaining banter would only take them so far. Q had=20
something in mind, and he doubted he would like it.=20

	"If you're going to whisk me off somewhere, why bother=20
flashing in to ask me about it first?" For a brief instant, Picard=20
thought he saw a glimmer of irritation spark in the entity's eyes.=20
One blink, though, and Q was clutching demurely at the breast of his=20
Starfleet uniform and smirking.=20

	"Oh, Picard, you wound me! I don't think I can go on for=20
another fifty million years knowing that you think I would drag you=20
away against your will. Really, Jean-Luc, if you don't want to come=20
along just say so and I'll be gone in a flash - Cadet's honor."=20
Maddening smirk giving way to even more maddening nonchalance, Q=20
held up his hand in contemptuous imitation of a Vulcan salute. When=20
Picard shook his head in disbelief, it was not at the entity's=20
desire to take him somewhere, or even at his blatant disrespect for=20
everything the he held dear, but at his having apparently=20
entertained the thought that the captain might want to go with him.=20
Whatever came of Q's visit, Jean-Luc did not want to find himself=20
before a Starfleet review board at some point in the future, his=20
only excuse being, 'Well, I didn't have anywhere else to be at the=20
time.' It was that thought that made him snicker slightly when he=20
asked,

	"What ever made you think that I would go anywhere with you=20
willingly?"

	"Oh, that. Why, because I know something you don't know that=20
I know, Mon Capitaine." Blackmail? Surely Q was above blackmail.=20
Even if he weren't, what could he possibly plan to use as leverage?=20
The captain narrowed his eyes and tried to read Q's face, but the=20
entity's gaze was unexpressive.=20

	"Pardon?" Q rolled his eyes exaggeratedly before darting=20
them around to lock with Jean-Luc's. Startled by the intensity he=20
found there, Picard couldn't help blinking. As swiftly as it had=20
appeared, though, the passion was gone and the captain had to wonder=20
whether it had been there at all. The entity made an airy gesture.

	"Don't play senile with me, Jean-Luc. You heard what I=20
said." Reflecting that Q had never gotten directly to a point in all=20
the time he'd known him, Picard made his way over to an armchair in=20
the corner of the room. He was tired, and if they were going to have=20
to go through this charade of amiability and innocence, he wasn't=20
going to do it standing up. Under normal circumstances, he would=20
never allow his body to relax while there was an intruder in his=20
bedroom, but how could his body help him against Q? The entity=20
pivoted smoothly to follow the captain's movement and tapped his=20
foot impatiently.=20

	"Yes, though I suppose I was hoping I hadn't. I can only=20
imagine you plan to blackmail me, but honestly, Q, I've no idea what=20
you think you've got up your sleeve." Picard could hear the fatigue=20
in his own voice, but he told himself that it didn't matter. He was=20
human after all, and Q knew that as well as he did.

	"Blackmail? Hardly. And it isn't what's up my sleeve,=20
Johnny; it's what's in these regulation Starfleet trousers that=20
makes all the difference." The entity's eyelids drooped and his hips=20
thrust forward ever so slightly in suggestion.=20

	"Excuse me?" Knowing that he had sputtered and hardly caring=20
as his weariness was replaced by indignation, the captain sat up in=20
his chair and frowned deeply at Q.

	"Playing deaf again?"=20

	"If anything you said made any sense I wouldn't have to."=20
Jean-Luc resolved to remain calm. After all, he really wasn't=20
shocked by anything Q said anymore, and sexual innuendo was nothing=20
to squirm about. If the insinuation had not come from those pouting=20
lips=85 //Stop right there,// he snapped at himself. As he watched,
Q=20
exhaled dramatically and took the time to walk over to him in a=20
decidedly Human fashion.=20

	"All right, how's this? You're gay, Jean-Luc. You know it.=20
You've always known it. You didn't know I knew, but now you do." The=20
captain felt his face grow hot and wondered dimly whether Q could=20
tell in the low evening light of his bedroom. Leaning forward well=20
into what Picard considered to be his personal space, the entity=20
placed his hands on the armrests of the chair. //He's bluffing. He's=20
got to be bluffing.// Forcing himself to meet deep, glittering brown=20
eyes, the captain inhaled.

	"What makes you think that?" At the relatively steady sound=20
of his own voice, Picard relaxed slightly even as Q leaned closer.=20

	"Oh, I don't know=85" the entity breathed suggestively. "How=20
about Cadet Adrian Vega, for one? Jack Crusher? That auburn haired=20
Adonis from the Academy whose name you never quite caught?" Jean-Luc=20
felt the hairs on the back of his neck jolt to attention and the=20
sensation swept him away in a wave of startling d=E9j=E0 vu. Q had
not,=20
in fact, been bluffing. Desperately, Picard groped for his last=20
reasonable point of argument.=20

	"I think you're forgetting quite a formidable list of female=20
characters," he murmured, painfully aware of how breathless he=20
sounded, of how much Q's closeness was affecting him. The entity=20
smiled knowingly and pulled away with a suddenness that made Jean-
Luc start.=20

	"Still clinging to your indignation with a vice grip? Of=20
course you are. That's what makes you you, sweet pea." As Q turned=20
away and began to pace, the captain took the opportunity it afforded=20
him to be off stage, as it were. Closing his eyes briefly, he passed=20
a hand over his face and exhaled with a quiet, almost imperceptible=20
shudder. Q made a wide, deliberate gesture and continued. "And=20
obviously I'm not forgetting any of the females you so generously=20
refer to as 'characters'. You think that being able to get it up for=20
a woman makes you bisexual, Jean-Luc, but you're so repressed that=20
you could get it up for a grapefruit if you let your guard down long=20
enough. Deep down you know the reason you stay away from men is=20
because you're capable of falling in love with them."=20

Q turned on him as he spoke, unreal brown eyes shimmering and=20
seeming to capture every detail. Outwardly, Picard was motionless,=20
his entire back aching with the sudden clench of muscles that kept=20
him still under such ruthless scrutiny. Inside, though, the man felt=20
himself begin to panic. Whatever he had imagined Q's purpose to be,=20
whatever he had thought him capable of, this was worse. What was the=20
entity working toward? Humiliating him? Ruining his personal=20
relationships?

	"I loved=85 love Beverly and you know that very well." Picard=20
felt his upper lip twitching into a snarl, felt his chin quivering=20
with anger that wasn't really anger. Beverly. Oh, Lord, Beverly.=20
What would she think if Q decided to flash into sickbay and show her=20
a holographic recreation of this conversation?=20

	"Of course you do! And you've loved Wesley for years, but=20
don't try to convince me that you're a pedophile. Isn't it so much=20
easier to be with someone you can please and love without ever=20
having to worry that you might lose yourself? Isn't it so much=20
easier to do that than it is to worry about softening up or letting=20
some part of that precious Starfleet Captain's fa=E7ade drop away?=20
After all, what sort of a captain would you be, Jean-Luc, if you let=20
anything at all mean more to you than your darling dearest spaceship=20
and its crew?" The entity was approaching him again, clutching the=20
armrests and leaning forward. This time, though, the deeply=20
expressive brow was knitted, the dark eyes searching. Surprised to=20
find no guile in Q's expression, the captain squinted as the urge to=20
rise up with a heated denial crumbled and fell away. Q knew; the=20
harm had already been done. If Picard admitted the truth of the=20
entity's claim, he might be able to use the element of surprise to=20
gain the upper hand.=20

	"Not the sort of captain I want to be. There, I've said it.=20
Was that your game, Q? To get me to admit something personal?=20
Something shameful?"=20

	"Something shameful? Of course not," Q snapped, as though=20
irritated by Picard's inability to understand him.  Frowning=20
pensively, the entity let his head hang down for a moment. The=20
captain shifted uncomfortably and wondered why he was suddenly more=20
bothered by the idea that he couldn't grasp a point Q apparently=20
thought was elementary than he was by the situation in=20
general. //I've always been fond of puzzles, but this is=20
ridiculous.// Q withdrew again and made to pace across the room,=20
calling back over his shoulder in a syrupy voice, "You've been so=20
indulgent tonight, Mon Capitaine, perhaps you would permit me just=20
one more question, hmm?"=20

Picard nodded stiffly and his gaze roamed out toward the window=20
where a seemingly infinite number of stars twinkled against the=20
black canvas of space. Anything, anything was better than watching=20
those provocative hips sway away from him, and it was somehow=20
reassuring to think that even now a seemingly infinite number of=20
lives went on out there, unaffected by the Drols or Q -- hopefully --
 or Picard's own discomfort with both. Still, he couldn't entirely=20
shield from himself the realization that, truthfully, he didn't want=20
this to be the last question.

"I'm a Q, as you of course know. You also know that the Human form=20
you see before you is not my true form. Why, then, do you think,=20
Jean-Luc, if I can take any form I wish and have had an absurdly=20
long time to gather blueprints for possible forms=85 why do you
think=20
I've stuck with this one since we met?" Q gestured demonstratively=20
as he spoke, as though leading a child down a simple logical path.=20
Frowning thoughtfully, Picard gave the entity his full=20
attention. //Because its at-rest expression is the most petulant one=20
you could find?//

	"It was my understanding that it was the closest Human=20
approximation of your true self, for lack of a better way of putting=20
it." Q nodded and his eyes lit up hopefully.

	"It is, it is=85 in an extremely simplistic sense. But why not=20
appear as a Vulcan? Now, wouldn't *that* be ironic? Or one of those=20
Belesian sex queens? I imagine they have lots of fun, don't you?"=20
Picard snorted. He couldn't help himself. Though the captain quickly=20
resolved his expression into a grimace, his reaction had not gone=20
unnoticed by Q, who grinned triumphantly. Wholly regaining his=20
composure, Jean-Luc brushed a knuckle under his nose and said dryly,

	"I thought the idea of mortal copulation disgusted you."=20

	"When you put it like that, what's not disgusting about it?=20
No, Jean-Luc=85 I may be a semi-omnipotent demi-god, but the truth
is,=20
I'm not entirely above the occasional bout of self-indulgent=20
bitterness. If you were a Q who wanted to copulate with a Human you=20
couldn't have, you'd have been bitter too. You agreed to one more=20
question, mon ami; don't try to wriggle away now. Here, I'll refresh=20
your memory: Why do you think I've been so very attached to this=20
form since we met?" Q sauntered toward him again, and Picard was=20
shocked to find that he wasn't discomforted. //Mon Dieu=85 I'm=20
enjoying myself again. As soon as Q leaves I'm going to contact Will=20
and advise a mutiny.//


	"You didn't say I had to answer the question correctly. I=20
told you I wasn't in the mood for guessing games." Despite his every=20
effort to prevent it, the captain felt his dark brows twitch=20
slightly, as though to say 'en garde!'. Yes, he was enjoying=20
himself, and he was too tired and too taken in by the tall, sulky=20
figure looming over his armchair to worry about what that might=20
mean. At that moment it didn't matter to Jean-Luc what the entity's=20
purpose was, or how long it might take him to get around to=20
divulging it. Q smiled earnestly.

	"Fair enough. I'll tell you why. It was for you." The smile=20
held steady and Picard had no idea what to make of it. He cocked his=20
head, frowning incredulously.=20

	"For me? Don't be absurd, Q."

	"But oui, Mon Capitaine. Why? Don't you like it?" Q leaned=20
away, drawing himself up to his full height with a=20
flourish. //Presumably to give me a good look. Doesn't he know that=20
I've done more than enough looking at him already?// A faint, wry=20
grin curling the corners of his mouth, Picard answered,

	"It hadn't occurred to me to consider it." Seemingly unable=20
to resist, the entity surged forward again, clutching at the=20
armrests of Picard's chair and looking deeply into his eyes.=20

	"Ahh, now who's got an ulterior motive, Jean-Luc?" he=20
murmured. The captain knew - *knew* - that he ought to snap at Q,=20
tell him move away, but the entity's warm breath and all-too-human=20
scent were intoxicating and Picard couldn't make himself do=20
it. //Exactly how human has he made himself?//

	"Lying and having an ulterior motive are not the same=20
thing." He heard his voice taking on the playful, husky timbre that=20
Q's had and some distant, more rational part of his mind kicked him,=20
hard. When the entity's face lit up in what seemed to be an entirely=20
genuine way, though, that part of his mind went silent.=20

	"So you *do* want me!" Q was smiling at him and something=20
twisted in Picard's chest, as though he'd suddenly and violently=20
employed a muscle that normally went unused. The idea that Q might=20
be showing sincere emotion, that the entity's own emotional state=20
might in some way hinge on Jean-Luc's reaction was somehow=20
terrifying. The captain told himself that that was impossible, or at=20
the very least unlikely. He told himself that everything he saw=20
expressed in those soulful eyes was a calculated lie, but for some=20
reason that he could not justify, he didn't believe it. Wincing=20
faintly in the face of all of that confusing earnestness, Picard=20
opened his mouth and hoped he wouldn't regret whatever came out of=20
it.

	"'Want' is such a relative term. Do I want to have my hands=20
full with a childish immortal bent on using my basic human drives as=20
a source of amusement? No, not particularly. Do I want to have to=20
worry about having a childish immortal running amok on my ship while=20
I'm in the middle of complex negotiations? Not at all, no." Some=20
part of him was distantly aware of being terrified that he might=20
have hurt Q's feelings - his feelings! - and of being greatly=20
relieved when the entity grinned lasciviously at him and hitched his=20
hips forward.=20

	"Semantics, Jean-Luc, semantics! Let me put it to you like=20
this: does your body want me?" Picard sighed shakily and leaned back=20
in his chair, feeling his cheeks redden again. As entertaining as it=20
had been to dance around the subject and to watch Q pose and preen=20
for him, he did not feel at all prepared to answer the question the=20
entity had put to him. Stubborn suspicion rose to his defense, then,=20
and gave him yet another way to avoid the issue.=20

	"What possible difference could it make either way? If you=20
go back to the Continuum and tell them triumphantly that Jean-Luc=20
Picard has admitted to having a physical attraction to you, it will=20
be like telling them that I've admitted to having the need to eat,=20
or to breathe. It's a function of the human body, Q. You of all=20
people should know that." Q didn't move, but his eyes made a slow=20
circuit down the length of Picard's body and back up again to meet=20
the man's increasingly unsteady gaze. Feeling hot all over, sure=20
that he was sweating, mortified at the realization that he was on=20
the verge of getting an erection, Jean-Luc swallowed.=20

	"So you do admit it." Suddenly it didn't matter anymore.=20
Without his anger to assist it, the captain's fear of Q's intentions=20
was quickly proving itself to be no match for long-felt desire or=20
the closeness of the entity's -- //Fake,// he told=20
himself, //fake!// -- body.=20

	"Very well," he said slowly, with resignation. "Yes, I admit=20
it. Are you quite finished?" Every fiber of his being wanted to=20
shrink from Q's penetrating gaze, but he refused to cower. Seeming=20
pleased by that, or by a combination of it and his admission, the=20
entity smiled slightly.=20

	"Only getting started, Mon Capitaine."=20

Captain Picard never had a chance. The two were so close already=20
that when Q leaned forward to cover the man's thin, chiseled lips=20
with his own, Jean-Luc was hardly aware of the movement until it was=20
too late. For a moment he stayed frozen, shocked and terrified, and=20
Q was still but for the subtlest brushing of the entity's mouth=20
against his. The glittering intensity Picard had witnessed in Q's=20
eyes earlier returned and stayed, even as those luscious, full lips=20
parted. His eyelids drooping, the captain managed to suppress a=20
groan, though his mouth opened against his will to receive the=20
entity's gentle, probing tongue. //So human,// Jean-Luc moaned=20
inwardly, closing his eyes all the way as Q kissed him harder,=20
tasting him, making him hard. Years of deprivation and loneliness=20
had taken their toll on the captain and his last frayed thread of=20
defense snapped. When he returned the kiss he did so feverishly,=20
plunging his hands into the entity's hair and caressing his tongue=20
with what would have been, under different circumstances,=20
embarrassing urgency. As they withdrew, finally, gasping for breath,=20
Q nipped at Picard's bottom lip. The man groaned softly and tried to=20
focus his vision, but all he could think of was the fact that he=20
suddenly couldn't remember the last time he had gotten an erection=20
from actual physical contact. Q nuzzled his neck sensuously before=20
dragging those perfect lips up the column of his throat to suck his=20
earlobe. It was so good to be touched, to be kissed, to imagine with=20
giddy desire what might happen next and what might happen later. But=20
it wasn't real; none of it was real. This was Q touching him, Q=20
kissing him.=20

"Why, Q?" Picard gasped quietly, even as the entity snuck a warm=20
hand under his pajama top to caress his stomach.

"Mmm?" Without snapping, Q wished the man's top away along with his=20
own Starfleet upper body wear. Having done that, he descended=20
hungrily on Jean-Luc's chest, kissing wetly and caressing with eager=20
hands.=20

"You=85 you already have=85 my admission, Q=85 Why are you
still=85 ahh=85=20
doing this?" Q stilled and Picard sighed his disappointment, nervous=20
fingers tightening in the entity's dark hair. The man felt hard and=20
empty, cold and desperate, and, in the back of his mind somewhere,=20
pathetic.=20

"I'm not here on Continuum business, Jean-Luc. Do you really think=20
they have nothing better to do than order Qs out to seduce mortals?"=20
When those dark eyes rose to meet his, Picard was struck by the=20
depth he saw there. He knew that he should admonish himself for=20
being taken in so easily, for letting the entity use his body=20
against him, but he couldn't help it; he believed.=20

"Then=85 why?" Q's eyes narrowed and he winced with muted
irritation.

"Isn't it obvious? Here, I'll make it obvious." Q seized Picard's=20
wrist firmly and dragged the man's hand away from his hair to press=20
it to his groin. Smoky hazel eyes widened at the hardness there,=20
tucked behind thick black material, and the heat emanating from it.=20
Picard felt his own prick tighten and begin to weep at the sensation=20
of having another man's -- well, almost -- arousal in his hand after=20
so many years. Squeezing experimentally, he was nearly overcome by a=20
rush of longing at the raw groan the action drew from Q's chest. "Do=20
you see? Now do you see, Jean-Luc?" the entity husked raggedly, his=20
eyes slitted with desire.=20

Panting, Picard traced a fingertip along the curve of Q's bottom=20
lip, swollen from kissing him. Had this superhuman creature from a=20
far-flung, unknowable place finally decided it was worth his time to=20
experiment with Human sexuality? But the captain couldn't make=20
himself care why Q wanted him anymore. There was lust in that heated=20
gaze, hunger in the subtle tremble of those strong hands, and that=20
was all that mattered.

"I'm only human," Jean-Luc whispered, not realizing he'd uttered it=20
aloud until Q's expression became one of what, in a different being,=20
might have been construed as concern. Without raising his hand, the=20
entity snapped and Picard found himself on his back atop his own=20
bed, Q lying along the length of him and looking imploringly into=20
his eyes.

"None of that tonight, please. Please, Jean-Luc." The captain=20
frowned softly, focusing his rapt attention on Q's face as his chest=20
tightened and burned again. His arousal slackened slightly to make=20
way for an overwhelming desire to find out what had upset the entity=20
and, unbelievably, to comfort him.

"Q, what=85 ah, Dieu!" Blinking away any trace of vulnerability, Q=20
leaned in again, this time taking one of the man's nipples firmly=20
between his full lips. Picard arched roughly against the entity, all=20
hope of rational thought momentarily blotted out by a searing jolt=20
of pleasure that sparked between his chest and his prick. Warm,=20
deliberate hands smoothed a path over his stomach, caressed his=20
ribs, and melted the tension in his shoulders as a tongue teased his=20
other nipple. Anxious to take some measure of control over the=20
situation, even as he writhed under the entity's touch, Jean-Luc=20
grabbed firm hold of Q's upper arms. His brain refused to form a=20
complex plan of movement, and so he gave in to sensation, dragging=20
the heels of his hands across tight biceps and digging his=20
fingertips into soft flesh. //Fake flesh,// a distant, nearly=20
inaudible part of his mind tried to protest.=20

"Jean-Luc," Q moaned very softly as he nuzzled his way again toward=20
the captain's neck. "Jean-Luc, why have you done this to yourself?"=20
The hushed reverence in the entity's voice sent a pang of something=20
unidentifiable, simultaneously pleasurable and painful, through=20
Picard, who could scarcely focus enough to understand the question=20
at its most basic, literal level. It seemed important to Q, though,=20
so he tried to ignore the warm, wet kisses, the welcome heaviness of=20
the body above him, and the sense of impending combustion long=20
enough to give some kind of response.=20

"Done=85 what=85 to myself?" the man managed to gasp, knowing as
he did=20
that his hips were rocking sensuously and of their own accord. With=20
a playfully wicked grin, Q reached down abruptly and, with infinite=20
grace, slipped a hand inside the captain's pajama shorts to wrap=20
around his aching erection.=20

"This," Q whispered. Picard shuddered and a hoarse groan tore its=20
way from his heaving chest. His hands fell away from the entity's=20
arms to wrench mindless knots in the bedspread at either side of his=20
head. Q was an angel of mercy now, descended to end his long self-
denial by stroking him purposefully with his hand and breathlessly=20
with his voice. "Why have you been so cruel to yourself, and for so=20
long? You deserve this, Jean-Luc. Bel homme." The words registered=20
somewhere at the edge of Picard's perception, joining with his=20
deepest hope to silence the last whispers of self-recrimination.=20
Writhing, the man bucked, thrusting himself into that warm, knowing=20
hand over and over.=20

"Q!" he choked, his eyes widening blankly in shock as the intensity=20
of his approaching orgasm became clear to him. Jean-Luc's teeth=20
clenched and his body bowed off of the bed, his breath coming in=20
shuddering fits and starts. In brief nano-seconds of near-lucidity,=20
the captain was aware of Q hovering over him, the entity's gaze=20
intense and urgently hopeful. Stroking harder, faster, matching=20
Picard's strong thrusts, Q struggled to lean forward and plunge his=20
tongue into the man's open mouth. The awkward intimacy of that=20
additional stimulation overcame Jean-Luc. He groaned into the kiss=20
and filled Q's fist and his own Starfleet pajama shorts in hot,=20
shuddering spurts.=20

When the entity's mouth withdrew from his, Picard was at first too=20
occupied with gasping for breath and drowning in perfect, oceanic=20
bliss to notice anything else. Dimly at first, and then more=20
clearly, though, he became aware that Q had flattened a warm sticky=20
palm on his stomach and was arched back, grinding against him.=20
Startled out of his post-orgasmic haze, the captain watched raptly=20
as Q's rhythm began to falter. The entity's face was flushed and his=20
nostrils flared with every ragged breath. Acting on impulse, Picard=20
reached out to caress Q's chest, loving the way it slid across his=20
palm in time with the thrusts. //He's made himself Human enough to=20
sweat.// At the touch, Q's eyes flew open and he dug his fingertips=20
into the captain's skin. With a throaty sob, the entity convulsed,=20
his expression a tender grimace of determination and relief.  Then,=20
trembling, he collapsed atop Jean-Luc in a slick, boneless heap.

Feeling as though he had seen something he wasn't meant to see, the=20
captain gathered Q in his arms and held him as he might someone who=20
had just had a traumatic experience. //Dear Lord, have I got my arms=20
around *Q*?// As he shifted slightly and listened to Q's shuddering=20
gasps beginning to slow, Picard frowned at the unpleasant way his=20
shorts clung to thighs. //I didn't miss that, but it was more than=20
worth it.// No sooner could he acknowledge the unpleasantness,=20
though, than it was gone, along with his cooling semen and the sweat=20
between their bodies.=20


[Cont'd in part 2/2]


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