Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!bigfeed2.bellsouth.net!news.bellsouth.net!cyclone1.gnilink.net!gnilink.net!wn14feed!worldnet.att.net!216.196.98.144!border2.nntp.dca.giganews.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!newsread.com!newsstand.newsread.com!POSTED.monger.newsread.com!not-for-mail Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Sender: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: From: "Nick" MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEML@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEML-owner@yahoogroups.com Subject: NEW TNG "Hard Won: Pillow Talk" 1/2 [NC-17] P/Q Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Lines: 474 Date: Thu, 07 Oct 2004 22:55:03 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.198.142.218 X-Complaints-To: Abuse Role , We Care X-Trace: monger.newsread.com 1097189703 209.198.142.218 (Thu, 07 Oct 2004 18:55:03 EDT) NNTP-Posting-Date: Thu, 07 Oct 2004 18:55:03 EDT Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:85018 X-Received-Date: Thu, 07 Oct 2004 15:55:05 PDT (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title: Hard Won: Pillow Talk Author: Nick=20 Series: TNG Rating: NC-17 Codes: P/Q Part: 1/2 Feedback: Yes, please. Here, there and everywhere. (plan9channel7 at=20 witty dot com) Summary: From heated argument to urgent lovemaking and back again.=20 Note: I'm making less and less effort in each chapter to explain=20 what happened in previous chapters, but if you're feeling especially=20 reckless I don't think you'll disintigrate from trying to read this=20 one without having read the other two. Also, I know my summaries are terrible. :S The best I can do is=20 cheese up the end with silly questions ala "Soap". My apologies. Disclaimer: Paramount shouldn't have made them so hot if they didn't=20 want them to get played with. I made it up for love, not money. Archive: Wherever, so long as my name stays attached. Also on my=20 website at: http://www.geocities.com/pompadour_slim/pq.html Jean-Luc Picard's eyelids fluttered open sluggishly and the man=20 swallowed. Wincing at the way the action stung his raw, swollen=20 throat, he wondered dimly, //Am I ill?// An unconscious shift in his=20 position and a gradual clearing of his bleary eyes, though, brought=20 everything that he and Q had done -- //When? Last night? Is it=20 morning?// -- back to him in a wave that was too bright to see=20 clearly but which nevertheless felt so good it hurt. Q was behind=20 him, pressed all along the length of his body, his human face mashed=20 into Jean-Luc's shoulder. Clumsily, the man began to roll backward,=20 wanting to see his lover and to try and make sense of what had=20 happened and what he was feeling. Apparently alert, Q shifted=20 effortlessly to compensate for Picard's change in position, smiling=20 shyly when their eyes met.=20 "Q," Jean-Luc croaked hoarsely. Q bit his lip, brows=20 crinkled together in concern, and whipped a hand up to snap. A panic=20 he didn't fully understand stabbed at Picard's chest, but he relaxed=20 again when he realized that Q had taken away not only the soreness=20 in his throat, but the pain in the rest of his body as well. Q=20 wasn't going to leave him. "You're still here." "Shouldn't I be?" Picard found himself frowning at the=20 uncertainty in the entity's eyes that was in no way overshadowed by=20 the easy smile on his lips. Did he really have that much power? "You should be where you like, but=85 I'm glad you're here=20 now. Speaking of which, exactly when is 'now'?" Actually asking the=20 computer what time it was seemed liked a lot of work, somehow, while=20 asking Q was more like thinking out loud. Q pursed his lips, playful=20 irony tugging faintly at the corner of his mouth. "Something in the area of=85 nineteen thirty, I believe, Mon=20 Capitaine." Picard sighed languidly and his eyelids were beginning=20 to droop closed again when a thought occurred to him. "The same night we=85 did all of that?" Rolling his eyes, Q=20 nodded. "Yes, the same night." Picard snickered softly and resettled=20 himself against the sheets, raising his arms above his head to=20 stretch. He felt wonderful now, without all of the aches and pains=20 of muscles pushed into extreme labor on unforgivably short notice.=20 Images of what they had done so recently burbled up from his memory=20 a few at a time and made him feel warm all over. Q had been so=20 patient when a lack of restraint might have put the man off, and=20 then, just when Jean-Luc had really begun to wish that the entity=20 were there with him physically, Q had appeared. Now that he knew=20 that he wasn't required to be anywhere at the moment and was not=20 missing out on necessary sleep, perhaps he could allow himself to=20 relax and enjoy the appreciation and contentment which pressed up so=20 insistently from inside him.=20 "Q," he murmured thoughtfully, turning his head so that he=20 could look the entity in the eye. "You've just been lying there for=20 two hours? Like that? Holding me?" Q grinned smugly. "Of course. What would you have had me do? Sleep?" The idea=20 that Q had remained conscious for two hours, doing nothing but=20 holding him, made Jean-Luc's stomach knot nervously. He was torn=20 between feeling that, considering Q's typical attention span and his=20 culture, no one deserved that sort of devotion, and feeling burdened=20 by Q's unwillingness to restrain himself. Stronger than either=20 feeling, though, was the fondness Q's presence seemed to now elicit=20 in him, and his delight in the comfortable way they had begun to de- claw their old, adversarial dynamic without altering it=20 significantly. "Mmm. But it can't have been very interesting. Are you sure=20 some part of you wasn't tripping the light fantastic with a couple=20 of energetic stars?" Snickering dismissively, Q rolled onto his back=20 and clasped his hands behind his head without taking his gaze from=20 Jean-Luc's.=20 "Step right up, see the human make a pun." Though the=20 entity's expression was disdainful, Picard basked in the warmth and=20 adoration Q couldn't banish from his sparkling, dark eyes. //This is=20 much more like it, yes.// "Two puns, actually. Which did you miss?" "And you call me arrogant." Lazily, Picard ran his fingers=20 through Q's soft, dark hair. "My being arrogant doesn't make you humble, Q." Q gave the=20 man a winning smile as he pressed into the touch. "No, it makes me irritated." Tipping his head back, Picard=20 let out a rumbling chuckle, squeezing Q's head in his fingertips a=20 few times for emphasis. The entity rolled onto his side and=20 snuggled up against Jean-Luc, pressing soft kisses to his=20 collarbone. With a sigh, Picard tucked a gentle finger under Q's=20 chin and raised his head, trying to put openness and affection into=20 an expression that suddenly wanted to be sober. "I imagine what I'm going to say next is going to irritate=20 you far more=85 We really have to talk, Q." Grunting and seeming about=20 to scrunch his face into a petulant scowl, Q exhaled resignedly and=20 nodded as Jean-Luc withdrew his finger. "Yes, of course, Jean-Luc. Of course," he murmured hollowly,=20 retreating onto his back again, though he still allowed his thigh to=20 lie along the length of the man's. Picard frowned and passed a hand=20 slowly over his face, wishing he had planned this conversation out=20 more thoroughly. Or at all. Something had to be said, something had=20 to be resolved; that much was obvious. The whole situation was utter=20 insanity from beginning to end. Deep down, he wanted to find a=20 justification for it, to find a way of looking at it that would=20 allow him to keep the joy and the intimacy and the stimulation of=20 it. If he couldn't, though, he knew that he had to end it while he=20 could still see the rightness of condemning himself to what might=20 amount to a life-long lack of fulfillment. Time was clearly running=20 out on that; Q's physical withdrawal and the emotional withdrawal it=20 symbolized made him want to rip something apart with his bare hands.=20 He took a deep breath. "Love is=85 an ambiguous term, as you were so quick to point=20 out when I said that I loved Beverly. It can mean all sorts of=20 things and be=85 true=85 for varying lengths of time." Q shifted=20 slightly and remained silent, staring pointedly at the ceiling.=20 Licking his lips, Picard forced himself to go on. "Q, I will admit=20 to the majority of what you insisted was true about me, that night.=20 I will also admit that I=85 have had what I have considered to be an=85=20 exceedingly dangerous=85 attraction to you for some time now=85" "But, Jean-Luc, but. Get to the 'but'. I might have all=20 night but that doesn't mean I want to spend it listening to you try=20 to soften whatever blow it is you've got coming. I've got all of=20 eternity, and if I'm here I'm obviously a masochist, but please just=20 have enough respect for me to get on with it." Slightly startled by=20 the bitterness in Q's voice and the pain in the dark, glittering=20 eyes that still did not look at him, Picard cleared his throat=20 hesitantly.=20 "You're right, Q=85 That is, you would be right, if I knew=20 what the point was and I was deliberately keeping it from you, but=20 honestly, I don't." The entity turned his head then, his full upper=20 lip curled in a snarl. "It isn't as though you haven't had two weeks to think about=20 it. I half expected you to whip out a padd with your speech already=20 written. 'Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise respectfully=20 declines your offer of undying affection. Please accept one last=20 roll in the hay as an expression of his condolences.' But, then,=20 even your tiny human brain could probably have stored that little=20 gem without having to enter it into a padd to help you remember."=20 Pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead, Picard blinked away=20 the sting of Q's words. //He's in pain. Don't get angry. He's in=20 pain.// The man shifted his jaw slowly and took a deep breath. "Q, I admit to being unprepared, but it was intentional. I=20 have a tendency to over think things, as you well know. I didn't=20 want to argue myself into or out of this when I=85 really didn't have=20 all the information." Q glared at him, his dark eyes shimmering=20 wetly. "Is that the best you can do, Jean-Luc? I'm pouring out my=20 heart and you're talking about arguments and information. I might as=20 well have become inordinately obsessed with the robot. I disgust=20 myself." A hot, thick knot lurched into Jean-Luc's throat and for a=20 moment he thought he might vomit. His eyes burned and his hands=20 itched to clench and twist, to tear something apart, but he didn't=20 know what. Q's pain? His own emotional impotence? Still glaring, Q=20 sat up. Picard felt wild inside, terrified that the entity would=20 leave again before he'd had the chance to say all of the things that=20 were tumbling around in his mind and in his stomach and filling his=20 chest so full it hurt, but if he had so many things to say why had=20 he just made an ass of himself with his 'arguments' and=20 his 'information'? Q had been right. With no more thoughts of=20 propriety, diplomacy or caution, Jean-Luc grabbed Q's arm and=20 scrambled up to kiss him. Mobile brows narrowing, the entity shoved=20 him away with staggering strength, blinking and shaking his head as=20 a tear plunged down and off the edge of a high cheekbone. //He=20 hasn't learned to control that yet either,// Picard thought=20 distantly. "No, Jean-Luc. Maybe we both thought I just had something=20 I needed to get out of my system, that I'd tumble around with you=20 and be done with it, but I didn't and I'm not." Jean-Luc inhaled=20 shakily and, realizing how tightly he clutched at the entity's arm,=20 opened his hand and let it fall to his side.=20 "You're right, Q=85 I'm=85 I'm sorry." Sniffing wetly, Q=20 continued to glare, but Picard thought he could see the entity's=20 eyes soften very slightly. "I don't know why I thought I would be different, Jean-Luc.=20 Oh, wait, maybe it was because I'm an immortal, god-like being=20 unbelievably superior to the other men in your life." Picard felt=20 dampness on his upper lip and stifled the urge to sniffle, felt pain=20 behind his eyes and stifled the urge to blink tears onto his own=20 cheeks. He didn't even consider the possibility of letting his body=20 react as it wished to his nervous anguish; he had trained himself=20 too well for that. "What do you mean?" "You really don't know? What is that Betazoid street=20 magician doing on your ship if she can't even introduce you to=20 yourself?" When Q seemed unlikely to continue, Picard squinted and=20 raised his jaw at him. //He even talks in riddles when he wants to=20 get to the point of something.// The entity sighed. "Jean-Luc, did=20 you ever tell Jack how you felt about him?" Picard tensed. What did=20 that have to do with anything? What business was it of Q's? Who did=20 Q think he was? His whole being rebelled against the increasingly=20 personal nature of the subject matter, but he put down the rebellion=20 and ran a hand over his scalp.=20 "I=85 He knew." His expression softening further, Q crossed=20 his legs and made a demonstrative, even theatrical gesture. Those=20 dark eyes sparkled with hope and purpose now, and Picard couldn't=20 help remembering the night two weeks ago, when Q had explained the=20 man's own feelings to him as he might explain a physics problem to=20 an eager but dense young student.=20 "Maybe he did, but I asked if you told him." Hesitantly,=20 resigning himself more and more to the tone of the exchange, Picard=20 shook his head. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was=20 because he trusted Q to take the conversation wherever was necessary=20 to illuminate the situation for him. He had locked himself away too=20 tightly to break the clasp on his own. "Not=85 Well, no. I told him that I cared for him, but by then=20 I meant it platonically. I had to. He was married." Q grinned, but=20 the look in his eyes was sad, not triumphant. //He isn't trying to=20 humiliate me.// Only in realizing that he no longer suspected Q of=20 having that particular motive could Jean-Luc see that he had=20 continued to carry the suspicion even after his initial grudging=20 acceptance of this particular Q episode in his life. The realization=20 relaxed him, and extra layers of defense that he hadn't even been=20 consciously aware of fell away with long-trained reluctance. "That seems to be something of a habit for you, yes? You=20 say, 'Well done,' when you mean, 'You're one of my closest friends.'=20 You say, 'Very well done,' when you mean, 'You're like the son I=20 never had.' What do you say, I wonder, when you mean, 'I love you=20 desperately'?" A goofy smile stretched across Picard's lips and he=20 didn't try to stop it. He was too consumed by a new feeling of=20 wonder and warm affection that coated his insides and soothed away=20 the fearful, nervous knots there.=20 "I say, 'I care for you a great deal, Q.'" How could he not=20 have realized? //After what I've done to myself, and what he's done=20 to me, I'm surprised I understood as quickly as I did. Neither of us=20 could have been trusted with it before.// When Q's dark eyes=20 twinkled and the corner of his mouth twitched upward, excitement=20 fluttered in Picard's stomach. Suddenly he wanted to understand=20 more. He wanted to understand everything. "That's why I didn't send=20 you away when you gave me the chance=85 That's why I didn't make=20 myself resist your advance even before I knew how you felt=85 That's=20 why I couldn't stand to see you suffering=85" Q leaned in abruptly and=20 interrupted the rushed, joyful flow of words with a teasing, wet=20 kiss. "Yes, mon amour, and that's why you let me fuck you=85 twice,"=20 the entity breathed against his lips, his gaze sparkling with desire=20 and the oh-so-familiar hint of a challenge. //Good God, who could=20 look into those eyes and not get hard?//=20 "I did, didn't I?" Q seemed about to reply, but the memories=20 the entity's words had conjured up compelled Jean-Luc to surge=20 forward, to kiss him and press him back onto the bed. When Q's mouth=20 opened and an image of being held down while the entity pounded him=20 roughly and sweetly coursed through the man's mind like boiling,=20 liquid metal, Picard groaned. Oh, how he wanted to take Q that way,=20 to feel those strong thighs wrapping around him while tight heat=20 enveloped his cock. More than that, though, he wanted to see Q=20 writhe the way he knew he had, wanted to pin Q down and watch the=20 entity succumb to helpless ecstasy as Q had done to him. He groaned=20 again and realized he was already holding the entity down harder=20 than he'd intended, but Q sucked eagerly at his tongue, showing no=20 signs of reticence. Gasping, he pulled back, breaking the kiss and=20 looking into hazy, impossibly deep brown eyes. Those eyes were so=20 intelligent, so knowing, but Jean-Luc was certain that what he saw=20 there was only a feeble dilution of the real knowledge behind them.=20 Intellect had never failed to turn him on, but there was so much=20 more to that response with Q. "Q=85 I want you." "Like this?" The entity drew his heels back along the bed,=20 spreading his legs.=20 "Have you ever=85?" Jean-Luc found that, even as he wanted to=20 know, he couldn't keep his lips from Q's soft, flushed skin. Every=20 kiss was like a caress against his mouth; every damp patch of sweat=20 was some deliciously cruel dessert that only worsened his hunger.=20 Reminding himself to avoid the entity's mouth so he could answer,=20 Jean-Luc sucked at Q's shoulder, stopping intermittently to nuzzle=20 against it. When had he last made love with so little reservation?=20 Had he ever made love with so little reservation? "Me? Let a human stick his=85 organ into my body?" Q's snicker=20 was breathless and his condescension lost all sting when he arched=20 against the fingers teasing his nipples. "Jean-Luc=85" "Who's shy now, Mon Capitaine Ill=E9gitime? And it isn't=20 really your body." "It most certainly is," the entity gasped as Picard lowered=20 his hot mouth over one straining pink bud. "It's as much me as I can=20 be and still let you do that=85 Oh, Jean-Luc, don't stop doing that=85"=20 Smiling into Q's skin, the man mumbled around the nipple in his=20 mouth. "But you said you kept it for me." Picard swirled his=20 tongue, drawing a quiet moan and the thrust of a striving erection=20 against his stomach. "I got the impression that you could just as=20 easily embody yourself in some other way." Q's hands were wandering=20 over his back now, dancing quickly on light fingertips.=20 "I know what I said=85 I was trying to make a point=85 I could=85=20 ohhh=85 what are you doing=85? I could be some other species=85 but=85 the=20 other aspects are=85 basically me." Picard flitted his tongue over the=20 edge of Q's ear and the entity pressed his head into the caress,=20 snorting and shivering simultaneously when the organ slipped=20 inside. "How=85 ridiculous=85 that that should feel good=85 Do you --=20 ahh! -- Do you realize=85 what sorts of things=85 are inside there?"=20 Smirking, the man withdrew his tongue but not his lips and whispered, "There are worse things elsewhere, but you didn't seem=20 especially hesitant about that." Q shivered again as Picard pulled=20 away to frown contemplatively. "It is interesting, though, isn't it?=20 To have erogenous zones in places that have nothing to do with=20 reproduction? No one these days would dispute that humans, as least,=20 have a physical need for sex, but one can't help wondering why, if=20 not to drive them toward procreation." A strong, warm hand flattened=20 across Jean-Luc's back and pulled him down so that they were=20 touching all along the length of their bodies. The sensation was=20 heady and distracted the man instantly from his philosophical=20 musings. Q kissed him, parting his lips with a tongue that wasn't=20 going to take no for an answer and wasn't about to receive it,=20 either. When the entity rubbed the soft, wet tip of his cock against=20 Jean-Luc's stomach again, the man groaned, remembering what he had=20 been getting at with his line of questioning. "Q=85" he breathed into=20 Q's mouth, raising his head as he shifted so that their erections=20 would meet. The contact sent a pleasurable jolt up through Jean- Luc's cock to blossom and spread in his stomach, and he could see=20 from the entity's expression that something similar had happened in=20 his lover's body. "Then=85 this is you?" He pressed himself harder=20 against Q's erection for emphasis. The entity smirked, his eyes=20 shimmering with lustful mirth. "Jean-Luc, are you asking if I'm really a man?" Feeling=20 sheepish in spite of his desire, the man shrugged one shoulder.=20 "I noticed that some Q choose to appear as human females,=20 and I assume there must be a reason for that." Closing his eyes for=20 a moment, Q raised his hips, moaning softly at the maddening,=20 insufficient friction. Picard shivered, but most of his attention=20 was on the entity's face as he awaited a response. "The Q don't have sexes, but we do have something vaguely=20 similar to what you would think of as genders. There are more than=20 two=85 almost as many as there are Q, actually, but when we appear to=20 humans we invariably pick one or the other=85 to avoid the spooking=20 the cattle." The man chuckled thoughtfully, his dark brows crinkling=20 a bit as he considered the idea. It really was a sensible way of=20 doing things, he thought, particularly if there were no physical=20 delineations to suggest one alignment or another.=20 "So=85 what are you, then? In the Continuum, I mean. Do the=20 genders have individual names?"=20 "What is this human obsession with naming things? Q don't=20 even have individual names, Jean-Luc. Do you think we named=20 everything else and just forgot that part?" Picard chuckled again,=20 shrugging his concession. Grinning in a way that made his delight at=20 having the opportunity to talk about himself obvious, Q=20 continued. "No, they don't have names=85 Think of a spectrum with true=20 red for absolute femininity on the left gradually bleeding into true=20 blue for absolute masculinity on the right. A Q's 'gender' is=20 something like where he, she or it falls on that spectrum, or how=20 he, she or it feels today. Of course, I don't think any Q has=20 actually hit true red or true blue, but you get the idea." Picard=20 found the whole concept fascinating, but he couldn't help focusing=20 on his original question. He knew Q would laugh at him for being so=20 narrow-minded, but he wanted to know. "And where do you fall on that spectrum?" Q's sensual upper=20 lip twitched and at first Jean-Luc thought he would sneer at him,=20 but there was no scorn in the entity's eyes. Instead, the expression=20 was impious and full of insinuation. Of course, of course it was;=20 this was his Q, not some overblown god-thing, terrifying in its=20 apparent lack of care. His Q loved him. The thought reassured him,=20 but he wasn't certain it would ever fully sink in. Q tossed his=20 wrist lightly. "Oh, I have my indigo days and I have my violet days. I'm=20 blue enough for you, if that's the question." Picard closed his eyes=20 and ground his erection against Q's, knowing he shouldn't be so=20 relieved and aroused by such a trivial thing but unable to help=20 himself. The entity began to chuckle, but the sound was strangled=20 into a groan when Jean-Luc tugged at his hair and thrust more=20 insistently against him. "If I were=85 pink=85 would you still=85 want me,=20 Jean-Luc?" The man stilled over him, frowning. "I don't know, Q. I should, shouldn't I? I don't know."=20 Suddenly something cold and painful settled in the pit of his=20 stomach. What if Q had stretched the truth out of fear of losing his=20 desirability to Jean-Luc? More importantly, why did his attraction=20 to Q threaten to hinge on the abstract concept of colors on a=20 spectrum? Was he that shallow? One of Q's hands slithered around to=20 cup his ass and pull him closer, and he had to catch himself before=20 he resisted. Had Q told him the truth? Why did it matter? He had to=20 know. "Q=85 You knew what I wanted you to say. That didn't influence=85"=20 Q rolled his eyes and exhaled. "Did I lie so you'd still want to fuck me? No, Jean-Luc.=20 I've loved you for a long time, but not so long that I would have=20 committed myself to this particular form if it weren't=20 representative of me. I was just curious=85 and as for whether you=20 should or shouldn't, stop trying to represent all of Humanity for a=20 minute and ask your body what it wants. Ask your heart what it=20 wants. There's all the answer you're ever going to get. Now fuck me,=20 ape-man." Grinning wickedly, Jean-Luc rose to a kneeling position,=20 trailing his hand down the center of Q's chest and stomach as he=20 went. [Continued in Part 2/2] ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML. NewMessage: