Path: newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net!stamper.news.atl.earthlink.net!elnk-atl-nf1!newsfeed.earthlink.net!newsswing.news.prodigy.com!prodigy.net!newsfeed.cwix.com!border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!news-xfer.newsread.com!yellow.newsread.com!news-toy.newsread.com!netaxs.com!newsread.com!POSTED.newshog.newsread.com!not-for-mail Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Sender: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: From: "Julianna" MIME-Version: 1.0 Mailing-List: list ASCEML@yahoogroups.com; contact ASCEML-owner@yahoogroups.com Subject: NEW: After the Credits--Is There In Truth No Beauty? 1/1 [PG] S Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Lines: 96 Date: Sat, 01 Jan 2005 03:55:04 GMT NNTP-Posting-Host: 209.198.142.218 X-Complaints-To: Abuse Role , We Care X-Trace: newshog.newsread.com 1104551704 209.198.142.218 (Fri, 31 Dec 2004 22:55:04 EST) NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 31 Dec 2004 22:55:04 EST Xref: news.earthlink.net alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:86629 X-Received-Date: Fri, 31 Dec 2004 19:55:07 PST (newsspool2.news.atl.earthlink.net) Title: After the Credits=97Is There In Truth No Beauty? Author: Ster Julie Rating: PG Genre: Angst Code: Spock Part 1 of 1=20=20 A/N: Another of the After the Credits series --- Now my hands are trembling. Earlier, it was just my insides quaking=20 (Say it!) in abject horror. Now, as I kneel before the fire-pot, as=20 I search for my center, the fear overtakes me and I tremble. I have tasted insanity! I saw the Medusan ambassador with my own eyes and I went mad.=20=20 Doctor Miranda Jones touched my mind and brought me back from that=20 awful place to which I had retreated, but she did not expunge my=20 memories. She had said in the meld that I would need an expert=20 Healer. We are far from Vulcan, and I do not want to trouble the captain and=20 crew, not again. I wish=85 I wish Sybok were here.=20=20 It seems that I miss my brother whenever I am at my lowest point. I=20 remember his strong arms around me, encouraging me as a child. I=20 took my deepest fears, my greatest hurts to him, and he always saw=20 me through them. Has that crippled me? Did Sybok become my crutch? Is that why my=20 katra cries out to him? Wait. Where is that special incense he gave me? He had warned me=20 to use it sparingly because it was so strong, so even after all=20 these years, I still have some left. Ah, here it is. This incense burns brighter than the other, and the smoke is such a=20 strange shade of blue. I close my eyes and take the three deep=20 breaths to calm myself. "Why are you trembling?" My eyes snap open. Sybok sits before me! "Why are you trembling?" I poured out my heart to Sybok, tell him of the day's events, of my=20 brush with insanity, with my difficulty now. "Why are you letting a past event trouble you so? It's over.=20=20 Release it!" I tell him that I have tried. "Try harder." I tell Sybok that I have tried harder.=20 "Try harder still." I sigh in frustration. Sybok is not helping me. I ask him why he=20 has come, since he is being of no use to me. "You summoned me." His answer surprises me. I had sought to calm myself=85=20=20 Ah! I begin to see. No wonder this incense is called "Truer=20 Vision." I have to deal with my emotions without longing for the=20 easier way. Sybok is not here, although I know our katras still=20 sing to one another, as brothers' katras are wont to do. I dig=20 deeper into myself, my center, my core, to the place where truth=20 lies. I touch the All and know peace. My brush with insanity, though undeniably upsetting, is in the=20 past. Enduring it, allowing myself the intimacy of melding with a=20 stranger despite my madness, has strengthened me. I have come=20 through this trial stronger. I feel a calm, a euphoria, wash over me and in my meditations I seem=20 to float. What is in this incense? I am certain that, if I were to=20 analyze it, I would find it to be an illegal substance. Leave it to Sybok! FIN ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ ASCEM messages are copied to a mailing list. Most recent messages can be found at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ASCEML. NewMessage: